Funny story: Russian Commander Threatens Destruction Of American Fast Food Establishments

Russian Commander Threatens Destruction Of American Fast Food Establishments

The commander of Russia's strategic missile forces has repeated warnings that Russian ballistic rockets could be aimed at various fast food establishments such as McDonalds and KFC, in response to American utterings of missile bases in Poland and Cze...
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Funny story: New York Post "OUTS" Obama; Reveals Iraq Double Dealing!

New York Post "OUTS" Obama; Reveals Iraq Double Dealing!

Ny/NY New York Post - A NY newspaper claimed today that while on his "mission from God" last July, Barack Obama tried to muscle Iraq leaders into delaying an agreement on troop withdrawal. At the same time he clamored in the press for an early with...
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Funny story: Tottenham Good Start Continues

Tottenham Good Start Continues

Tottenham Hotspur continued their good start to the season last night, when they lost 2-1 to Aston Villa at White Hart Lane in front of 36,000 excited supporters. Spurs stay rooted to the bottom of the Premiership in their most impressive start to...
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Funny story: UK economy knackered due to Prime Minister's Anagram Disease

UK economy knackered due to Prime Minister's Anagram Disease

Doctors today confirmed that the UK economy has gone to pot not because the Labour Government have completely mismanaged the country, but because the Prime Minister Gordon Brown has AD - Anagram's Disease. A leading professor, Professor Lee Ding,...
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Funny story: Joey Barton To Star In 'Brand New' Series Of Grange Hill

Joey Barton To Star In 'Brand New' Series Of Grange Hill

Joey Barton, the Newcastle United and England footballer, is to star in a brand new series of the cutting-edge TV drama for children and adults, Grange Hill. Barton, recently freed from prison after serving a 6-month sentence for Assault & Bat...
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Funny story: Russell Brand gains American citizenship after MTV Awards

Russell Brand gains American citizenship after MTV Awards

Russell Brand has been granted an American Green Card and full American citizenship without even applying for it. A spokesperson for the American Green Card Office said: "Well, we appreciate he called our President Bush some rather funny names,...
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Funny story: Star Trek Sick Gay Wedding Latest

Star Trek Sick Gay Wedding Latest

"To explore strange new worlds. To seek out new life and new civilisations; to boldly go where no man has gone before!" Yes, that was the byline of the internationally famous Star Trek series, and that's exactly what crew member George Takei, real...
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Funny story: Will Young turns his back on gay life

Will Young turns his back on gay life

UK singer-songwriter & gay icon 'pretty boy' Will Young has revoked his previous decision that he was a gay man and has decided to straighten himself up. Young, famed for his effeminate voice, was now sporting his new, macho Yorkshire accent a...
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Funny story: Not having cancer leads to cancer, say experts

Not having cancer leads to cancer, say experts

Scientists have identified one guaranteed precursor to cancer - not having cancer. "We examined 10,000 adults with cancer and found one overwhelming similarity within almost all of them - they used to be cancer free," explained Dr Thomas Statistif...
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Funny story: Palin Grilled on Statement Suggesting "Jesus was on a Mission from God"

Palin Grilled on Statement Suggesting "Jesus was on a Mission from God"

ABC newsman Charles Gibson grilled vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin on a controversial statement she made in an Alaska church. The statement, which suggested that Jesus Christ was on a mission from God, has raised eyebrows in certain Democrati...
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Funny story: Michael Owen Takes Real Estate Advice From Michael Jackson

Michael Owen Takes Real Estate Advice From Michael Jackson

Newcastle United and England striker Michael Owen has gone all businesslike, and has decided to build a £12million Wonderland Theme Park in the grounds of his luxury retreat on the Costa del Sol. Owen, who national team manager Fabio Capello jetti...
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Funny story: McCain: Palin is also 'Greatest Mother Ever'

McCain: Palin is also 'Greatest Mother Ever'

Days after announcing on 'The View' that Sara Palin was the "greatest vice presidential candidate in the history of the United States," John McCain further extolled his running mate by claiming she is also "the greatest mother in the history of the w...
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Funny story: Swiss Role in American Jam

Swiss Role in American Jam

European bankers have now admitted that they rigged the results of the Large Hadron Collider - which runs beneath Switzerland, Germany and France - in order to create an implosion in the American financial system. "We were really upset that Credit...
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Funny story: Lemon Brothers the new Enron

Lemon Brothers the new Enron

Off-the-Wall-Street, NYC - (Ass Mess): Four years after Lemon (sic) Brothers settled their $222.5 million Enron class action involving the underwriting of the fallen energy giant's hidden debt, inflated profits and accounting tricks, the Wall Street...
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Funny story: The Land of TV Spinoffs

The Land of TV Spinoffs

This article appears in this week's edition of "TV Territory," an entertainment weekly publication dedicated to the notion that television viewing is still #2 on the list of favorite things for a husband and wife to do. And according to an unbiased independent survey conducted by The Unbiased Independent Survey Organization (based in Chattanooga, Tennessee), TV viewing has also recently moved...
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Funny story: Mullah Makes His Point: Sharia Courts in Britain...US Next With Obama?

Mullah Makes His Point: Sharia Courts in Britain...US Next With Obama?

London/Sunday Times - The Armada couldn't do it, the Luftwaffe couldn't do it, Goebels couldn't do it, Russian Spy Sex Scandals couldn't do it, but Britain's OWN courts DID it....subject this Brave Island Bastion of Independence in one stroke of...
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Funny story: Lehman Bros files for Bankruptcy

Lehman Bros files for Bankruptcy

Lehman Brothers, the fourth largest investment bank in the entire Universe, has filed for bankruptcy protection, tossing a spanner into the capricious works of the galactic financial system. The news led to sharp falls in share prices across the...
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Funny story: Welsh Transvestite Fireman in Snake Shock!

Welsh Transvestite Fireman in Snake Shock!

The sleepy town of Blackwood in Wales was in shock today as one of it's fire fighting heroes, Simon Bevman, was strangled to death in the high street by a 15ft python. Initial reports indicate that Mr Bevman had just left the chemist after buying a l...
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Funny story: Talking Palin doll says "Kill! Drill! Spill!"

Talking Palin doll says "Kill! Drill! Spill!"

In what many observers have described to be like a scene from horror film Child's Play, the Republican Party unveiled its new Sarah Palin doll, which goes on sale at toy stores throughout the US, complete with reindeer cleaver, portable oil derrick a...
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Funny story: HSBC is next for bankruptcy analysts say

HSBC is next for bankruptcy analysts say

Off-the-Wall St, NYC - (Ass Mess): Leading financial shrinks say that Asian banking giant HSBC is next for the knackers' yard after a $500 billion black hole emerged in its official accounts. "This London-based Hong Kong racket bears all the hallm...
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Funny story: Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression

Hadron Collider's Inter-dimensional Financial Black Hole Blamed For Lehman Brothers Collapse And Coming Depression

Leading scientists and financial experts are agreeing today that the Large Hadron Collider has created a financial black hole so big that all the economies of the west will collapse into a deep depression that will make 1929's Black Tuesday look like...
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Funny story: Putin blamed for satanic cannibals' ritual orgy rampage

Putin blamed for satanic cannibals' ritual orgy rampage

Yaroslavl, Russia - (Bolshevik Ass Mess): "I blame bloodsuckers like Prime Monster Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin for these sadistic cannibals' satanic orgy rampage." That is one local mother's view today after Yaroslavl police arrested a gang of hum...
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Funny story: No news is good news - False, claim BBC

No news is good news - False, claim BBC

3 days ago all major television networks in the UK trialled a removal of all news based programmes from the television schedules in response to over-zealous viewers such as someone from Norfolk who claimed that no news is, in fact, good news. In...
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Funny story: No value to Ice Gems

No value to Ice Gems

In a shocking revelation, it has been revealed that Ice, or Midget Gems have no great monetary value. The mini biscuits, a treat for many who grew up in the 20th Century are worthless lumps of sugar, that rot teeth. The only person they made rich...
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Funny story: Browns Sacks Himself

Browns Sacks Himself

Prime Minister Gordon Brown has shocked the nation by firing himself, following allegations that he was ready to move against him. According to a source close to the PM, Mr Brown suffered a moment of self-doubt on Sunday morning whilst having a shit...
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Funny story: McCain pregnant, none of our business

McCain pregnant, none of our business

John McCain, the Republican presidential nominee, shocked the political world by announcing today that he is 6 months pregnant. Senior aides have dismissed reporter's questions, calling the news a "private, family matter". A spokesman refused to...
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Funny story: Rose McGowan may join Irish terrorists

Rose McGowan may join Irish terrorists

Poor Irish Republican Terrorists, they really aren't having much success these days so its little wonder that they welcomed the comments from American actress Rose McGowan. A leading Irish terrorist said "yes things aren't going particularly well...
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Funny story: Clegg Faces Leadership Challenge from Corpse

Clegg Faces Leadership Challenge from Corpse

As the Lib Dem conference gets underway in Bournemouth, a number of backbench MPs are mounting a challenge to Nick Clegg's leadership with a campaign to draft the legendary David Lloyd George back into office to replace him. Despite the fact that th...
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Funny story: Polish And Foreign Workers At Heathrow Now Account For Majority Of Staff

Polish And Foreign Workers At Heathrow Now Account For Majority Of Staff

Polish and other foreign workers at Britain's busiest airport, Heathrow, now account for more than 84% of the total workforce, it has been claimed, by an irate traveller. Donald Dixon, a staunch BNP member, was coming back from New York with his f...
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Funny story: Ku Klux Klan Resurfaces With New Direction

Ku Klux Klan Resurfaces With New Direction

In a surprise resurfacing of an organization many considered dead, the Ku Klux Klan held a press conference at which Klan members preceded to kick the shit out of four nonminority members of the press to everyone's surprise. "To revitalize a once...
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Funny story: AK-47 Saracuda

AK-47 Saracuda

Extremely reliable Democratic sources have reported that President Bill Clinton called Governor Sarah Palin and offered to personally donate $2,000 to her campaign if she would agree to shoot a Tic Tac out of Fox News celebrity Sean Hannity's mouth at 100 yards. "Salmon Sarah" quickly jumped at the offer and she added that she would even agree to make the shot using a makeup mirror while bouncing...
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Funny story: Todd The Enforcer

Todd The Enforcer

Most people find it hard to take a person named Todd seriously, especially when they tell you they are an enforcer. Sarah Palin's snowshoe rental magnate hubbie, Todd found it no different. That was until he broke his first two kneecaps (on the same tax withholding old lady). Soon respect flowed freely as the Govhubbie lobbied for his wife's programs and policies with guns, knives and a ha...
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Funny story: IceBerry, The Little Alaskan Town That's Ugly as Sin

IceBerry, The Little Alaskan Town That's Ugly as Sin

Once upon a time, a quaint but homely Alaskan town was the weekly delight of network TV watchers. The Wednesday night episodes of the Beehive adorned Mayor and her snowshoe rental magnate hubbie brought many a chuckle to the bored and the bereft. One week it would be the brother in law/ town drunk shooting up the jail where he was deputy and the next all the Alaskan rebate checks mistakenly ended...
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Funny story: Zoofuck, the Myspace for Real Animals!

Zoofuck, the Myspace for Real Animals!

Most of us have enough trouble trying to get ourselves laid! But zookeeper Rubsem D'Riteway, spends most of his time as a mate procurer for the animal lonely hearts club. Koala bear Killarney tries to scratch out the eyes of every date they bring...
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Funny story: Controversy Over Felons' Right to Vote Dwarfed by Bigger Question

Controversy Over Felons' Right to Vote Dwarfed by Bigger Question

Some states allow imprisoned felons to vote, others only parolees, some only probationnaires and then there are those that make you pay your full debt to society. In two states, Kentucky and Virginia, you are never allowed to vote again, but a bi...
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Funny story: Pamela Anderson's Next Husband

Pamela Anderson's Next Husband

The Canadian publication Gobs of Gossip Gazette has reported in their upcoming October issue that Pamela Anderson-Lee-Ritchie-Salomon wants to walk down the wedding aisle one more time. Pam whose three husbands have all been musicians (Tommy Lee...
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Funny story: On Phrase 'God Made Dirt, Dirt Don't Hurt': God swears "I never said that!"

On Phrase 'God Made Dirt, Dirt Don't Hurt': God swears "I never said that!"

God, long-mute on many issues, recently broke His silence to give an interview with Charlie Gibson. In a deep and cavernous tone (and apparently nursing a hangover) the Almighty specifically addressed the phrase 'God made dirt, dirt don't hurt':...
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Funny story: Penis Atrophy Linked to Cell Phone Use

Penis Atrophy Linked to Cell Phone Use

Rochester MN: Claims have been made that using a cell phone in close proximity to the head could perhaps cause brain cancer. Dr. Nicola Tesla of the Heinrich Hertz Institute has conducted his own independent study to determine if there are other hidd...
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