George W Bush expressed his dismay at the 'abysmal failure' of the latest Mars mission.
In a surprised to many, The International Academy of Arts and Sciences recently recognized the television program "To Be Announced" as the most watched television program ever. Producers of the program came from all over t...
Senator John McCain will ask legendary biblical figure Methuselah to be the Republican vice presidential nominee, according to a GOP source who asked not to be identified.
(Athens, GA) -- Despite hundreds of pages declaring opponent John McCain healthy and "cancer-free", Barack Obama's campaign would not deny rumors yesterday that its candidate has prostate cancer.
On Sunday, during the 92nd running of the Indianapolis 500, Ryan Briscoe crashed into Danica Patrick and knocked her out of the race. Enraged, Danica marched over to Briscoe's crew and tried to throw it down with them until security came to get h...
In a surprise move, the United States declared war on Scotland today.
Speaking from Washington DC, Secretary of State, Condaleeza Rice, said: 'Today, at 11 hundred hours, the United States of America declared war on Scotland. A task force of troo...
It was announced today that the United States is to open a University of Irony, in Chatanooga Creek, Oklahoma.
A racist Californian woman has renounced her claims that she was the victim of an 'un-identified black male' after video evidence produced by a Japanese business man clearly shows that it was just her own shadow.
A coroner has urged the RAF to ground its entire fleet of biplane reconnaissance planes. This follows yet another crash, as a Sopwith Camel hit the ground when its pilot was too busy trying to unjam the rudder to notice how low he was flying.
Jame's (U.K.) has learned via leaks at the highest levels that the U.S., under a plan hatched by President Bush called Project FAS, for F--- Saudi Arabia, plans to solve the immediate and near-term U.S. oil crisis by seizing all the oil and gas p...
Mephistophel, Tennessee (IPP) - Republican presidential hopeful John McCain welcomed fellow Republicans Mark Foley, Larry Craig, and Charlie Crist to his dude ranch in western Tennessee for the week for a private party lasting a week, a day, and sixt...
The Olympic committee has announced that dog walking will be a trial sport at the Beijing Olympics, limited to ladies only and performed dogless.
Martian North Pole (IPP) - Desperation and depression turned into jubilation this afternoon when the Mars lander named Phoenix began sending photos of the surface of Mars after a few hours of silence and darkness.
Northern Plains, Mars - (Hydrocarbons Mess): Scientists at NASA's Jet Convulsion Laboratory are celebrating today after the Mars Phoenix sent back stunning pictures confirming the red planet is a gigantic rock/ice-covered crude ocean.
Moscow - (Crystal Ass Mess): Russian Prime Monster Vladimir Putin has been beseiged with requests to star in a Russian revenge remake of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.
The second home of timid, mild mannered Daily Planet reporter Clark Kent, The Fortress of Solitude is to be developed into a number of flats and apartments for well-heeled multi-millionaires.
(Washington, D.C.) In a move that may be as advised as the Bush administration's "Mission Accomplished" declaration of 2003, presumptive Republican Presidential nominee John McCain held a press conference stating that h...
Friends and Colleagues of British Rambo; Ray Mears, have branded him as a BBC 'ringer', who is scared of spiders.
A 'Queen of the South' versus 'Glasgow Rangers' Cup Final was never going to get the mouth watering.
A Government think-tank has advised that British schools are not teaching children enough and that the best solution would be to abolish holidays altogether. In spite of record numbers
A job advertisement that appeared in many newspapers today read:...
MIDDLETOWN, Connecticut - Paying tribute to ailing Senator Edward Kennedy, US Presidential candidate Barak Obama told students at Wesleyan University he will be changing his name and converting to Catholicism.
Police in Cambridgeshire are backing a new scheme that they hope will teach young offenders the value of information technology. The project, called Computers In Your Future, is the brainchild of local social worker Susan Grolies. She has been working with young offenders for nearly two years.