In entertainment news, actor Orlando Bloom's career is still lost. Search and Rescue teams are about to give up hope. It would seem that Mr. Bloom's career followed Wil Turner to Davey Jones' Locker.
A senior aide to the Prime Minister admitted that his plan to shake off his dour image and prove he had a sense of humour by authorising the creation of animal-human freak creatures has backfired.
Bastards Reunited, an organization attempting to match parents with their illegitimate children which was reported on by Carina Eta previously, is going after new source material. Knowing the propensity for professional athletes to pick up various wo...
Calling it her "Coronation Ceremony," Hillary Clinton has announced preliminary plans for her Inaugural Ball after her self-expected election to the White House in the U.S. Presidential race. In an "It's My Party" attitude pr...
The British Army has had to admit that some of its personnel have been involved in acts of poetry whilst serving in Afghanistan and Iraq.
Tony Blair and his wife, Cherie, have a released a lovers' guide DVD. The documentary, which they both wrote and star in, shows them demonstrating a number of sexual positions that allow maximum sensation but minimise the risk of conception.
Health Secretary Big B. Johnson has said an "accommodation" will be reached for MPs who are opposed to parts of a controversial embryo research bill.
AP, SARASOTA -- Citing feelings of being disenfranchised, 78% of Floridian democrats are planning to move to North Carolina before the primary of the 'First in Flight' State, according to a recent AP poll.
Convicted urban-terrorist-turned-housewife Sara Jane 'Soliah' Olson is back in custody after a 'woops' clerical error caused the California Dept of Corrections to incorrectly calculate her release date, a CDC spokesman said to...
Jeremy Clarkson has admitted today, that he never passed his driver's test. The broadcaster and TV presenter, from Oxfordshire, told the press this morning, that he failed his exam.
A new headline, sweeping the US, is that presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton, is actually a man. This shocking story was revealed by his husband, Bill after Bill and Hilary had a massive argument. Turns out Bill is a bit jealous of him.
Well, with all the sex scandals and other crap circulating briskly throughout the whole U.S., an enterprising scholar/writer has seized upon our childhoods to get important messages across to our school kids from 3rd grade through the senior year of high school.
Diminutive politico Hazel Blears is said to be in a secret relationship with Elvis Presley impersonator, Cliff Richard.
Dian Fossey studied gorilla activities in Africa and was murdered in 1985 for her efforts to protect gorilla populations. Jane Goodall has studied chimpanzee populations and groups since the 1960s in the African wild. This publication has just lear...
Actor of note Sir Sean Connery is to run as a candidate for the Scottish National Party. He is a patriotic Scot and a supporter of Scottish devolution.
The citizens of Tokyo were trying to come to terms with the latest attack of a giant robot, which destroyed the city's underwear vending machine district.
VATICAN CITY (FMLiveWire) - Pope Benedict condemned the hatred and violence of the warmongering Americans and Israelis in his Easter message on Sunday.
Following on from news that his lyrics are under-attack, Robbie Williams has been banned from his favourite pastime, Gardening.
London - (Ass Mess): A very red faced Bill Gates has pulled out prematurely from the Prince's Truss - the official money laundering organ of the Pretender to the Puppet Throne - after a tip-off from UK vice cops.
Graham Norton host of 'Id Do Anything' gives an exclusive 'One Final Confession' to Father Ted.
Recently released medical records from the 1930's have revealed that the melted faces seen at the end of the Indiana Jones and the Raider's of the Lost Ark document healed quickly, and were not fatal, as had been first thought.
In the last ever romantic thriller written by Barbara Cartland, it is sensationally revealed that fictional detective Sherlock Holmes is in actual fact the real life Father of cuddly TV host, Eamonn Holmes.
John "Son of Cain" McCain, sure shot Repub candie for President in 2008 has supported the Five Year Fiasco in Iraq that was for the wrong reason and has swallowed up the lives of 4,000 US soldiers and 100,000's Iraqi's. He is ready...
Genevieve Ass-Scratcher of Hopalong-on-Avon found a dingleberry that had a particular and curious shape.
Admiral Willie Fallon, former US military head of operations for the Middle East colonies, suddenly resigned from that post without explanation from the Pentagon, the Square or the Rhombus.
With judges breathing down the necks of White House IT techs in search of the millions of possible lost emails, the White House revealed that old hard ONS (official nomenclature systems) have been discarded.
Womens magazines "Reveal" and "Closer" have made the shock announcement that they will not be featuring Jordan (Model with formerly big tits and perma-tan) on the front covers of next week editions.
It seemed that something other than a double pleasure awaited Elliot Spitzer at room 222 of the New York Hilton yesterday evening.
The former child star and Oscar nominated actress Winona Ryder was caught shoplifting again. This time, it was make-up from a Hollywood drug store (her previous shoplifting conviction was for $5000 worth of clothes). No charges will be filed agains...