Funny story: No gain, no pain

No gain, no pain

Jesus Da Pinta, the former drugs lord-turned-spiritual advisor, has appealed to West Midlands County Council to 'surrender or die' in his long-running dispute over housing benefit.
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Funny story: Obama: America should have spoken to Bin Laden before 9/11

Obama: America should have spoken to Bin Laden before 9/11

The Democratic Presidential candidate said recently that America should have met Bin Laden to forestall the 2001 terrorist attacks in which more than a thousand died.
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Funny story: President Ahmadinejad "seems to be shrinking"

President Ahmadinejad "seems to be shrinking"

Friends fear for the health of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who, according to reliable sources, "seems to be shrinking at an alarming rate."...
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Funny story: Bonesmen warn Hillary's RFK gaffe will come home to roost on Friday's 40th RIP anniversay

Bonesmen warn Hillary's RFK gaffe will come home to roost on Friday's 40th RIP anniversay

Chappaqua, NY - (Ass Mess): Grandees of the Ancient American Order of the Skull 'N' Bones have issued a major disaster warning to Hillary Clinton ahead of the 40th anniversary of Bobby Kennedy's assassination this Friday.
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Funny story: The Two Crispins

The Two Crispins

Following the success of TV programme, The Two Coreys, TV Bosses are said to be launching a brand new reality show, The Two Crispins.
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Funny story: Ronaldo In A&E

Ronaldo In A&E

Portugese whinger Cristiano Ronaldo was today rushed to hospital after one of his dives went tragically wrong.
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Funny story: American Election Is Actually A School Captain Election

American Election Is Actually A School Captain Election

Not so long ago, America produced great Presidents and inspirational world statesmen, but today all great ex-Presidents, from George Washington to F D Roosevelt, must be turning in their graves as the sun sets on the American Empire, and on the presi...
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Funny story: Madonna quits Kabbalah for Scientology

Madonna quits Kabbalah for Scientology

London - (Menopausal Mess): Opus Dei tribute artiste Madonna has quit Kabbalah after a vision of necromancer Aleister Crowley initiated her in a multiple orgasm wet dream as Xenu's ultimate consort and Terran muse.
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton picks Obama as Vice President

Hillary Clinton picks Obama as Vice President

Hillary Clinton picked Obama as her running mate after clinching the Democratic nomination last night.
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Funny story: McCain remembers he has Economics degree

McCain remembers he has Economics degree

The Republican Presidential nominee has revealed he has a degree in Economics after years of forgetting it.
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Funny story: Anti-Franken Republicans sharpen the points on their heads

Anti-Franken Republicans sharpen the points on their heads

Two Republican Minnesota legislators demonstrated top-notch reading and comprehension skills by sending an affectionate love letter desperately in need of a good spell-check to Democratic U.S. Senate candidate Al Franken yesterday.
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Funny story: Ronaldo lured to Hull City - Tevez kidnapped by greedy agents; sold into slavery.

Ronaldo lured to Hull City - Tevez kidnapped by greedy agents; sold into slavery.

New boys to the premiership and big time Charlies Hull City are sensationally believed to have literally captured two of footballs greatest talents from their title rivals Manchester united.
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Funny story: Cracks in New York Sidewalk Drive Crazy People Insane

Cracks in New York Sidewalk Drive Crazy People Insane

New York City council has come under fire from mental patients at NYC Asylum over the poor condition of the city's sidewalks.
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton says: "Wait, wait. It's not over 'til I sing!"

Hillary Clinton says: "Wait, wait. It's not over 'til I sing!"

Washington, DC - In a not so surprising announcement on the day Barack Obama has reached the magic number of 2118 Delegates and claimed the Democratic Party's Presidential Nomination as his own, Hillary Clinton said in reaction to the news: "...
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Funny story: Larry Craig to Advise Clinton on How to Deny Losing Race

Larry Craig to Advise Clinton on How to Deny Losing Race

Senator Hillary Clinton reached across party lines today and enlisted the help of GOP Senator Larry Craig as a political consultant to advise her on how to deny losing the Democratic primary race to Barrack Obama.
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Funny story: Hillary Vows To Stay In Democratic Race Until Death

Hillary Vows To Stay In Democratic Race Until Death

WASHINGTON -- After clinching the Democratic presidential nomination yesterday, Barack Obama would now like to turn his attention to the general election contest with Republican opponent John McCain. But that may not be so easy. Hillary Rodham Clinto...
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Funny story: First ever Range Rover driver to discover his vehicle has indicators

First ever Range Rover driver to discover his vehicle has indicators

An upper-class twit from Paddington, Howard I. Noh, discovered today that his Range Rover actually has indicators.
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Funny story: Prince William To Be Next James Bond

Prince William To Be Next James Bond

Prince William, the Royal Warmonger, has landed his first acting role as the new James Bond in the next 007 blockbuster, Casino Royal Flush.
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Funny story: Big Brother housemates to be fed their own poo

Big Brother housemates to be fed their own poo

The housemates for the 2008 series of Big Brother are to be fed their own poo, as part of a new range of humiliations planned by producers.
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Funny story: Pedestrian is knocked down every 6 minutes according to Dept of Transport

Pedestrian is knocked down every 6 minutes according to Dept of Transport

According to research and figures released by the Department of Transport, a pedestrian is knocked down every six minutes on Britain's roads.
View 'Pedestrian is knocked down every 6 minutes according to Dept of Transport'
Funny story: Clinton Concedes With Novel Speech: "I won!"

Clinton Concedes With Novel Speech: "I won!"

(New York, New York) - Speaking from a podium in the city so nice they named it twice, Senator Hillary Clinton conceded the Democratic Presidential Nomination to Barack Obama last night by announcing, "I won!" This novel approach to a conc...
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Funny story: Does Anybody Remember?

Does Anybody Remember?

A Cynical Willyism for the Fuckin' Day 6/5/08 (Yeah tomorrow!)...
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Funny story: Alex Ferguson To Retire Early

Alex Ferguson To Retire Early

Sir Alex Ferguson, the Manchester United manager, has shocked fans of the Old Trafford club by announcing his intention to retire early - at about 10pm tonight after Springwatch, which is presented by Bill Oddie.
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Funny story: President Personally Responsible for Budget Deficits

President Personally Responsible for Budget Deficits

Washington DC, April 15 2009: The Democratic controlled 111th Congress passed a Constitutional amendment today making the president personally responsible for any budget deficits.
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Funny story: John McCain 'Feeling Left Out'

John McCain 'Feeling Left Out'

John McCain, the current presidential candidate for the Republican party in the US elections, is rumoured to be considering a transfer to the Democratic Party. One of McCain's closest aides revealed that the party leader has been feeling "re...
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Funny story: Boris Johnson stands down - hands reins to Mugabe

Boris Johnson stands down - hands reins to Mugabe

Boris Johnson the conservative MP for Henley has announced he is to step down from parliament and hand control of his constituency of Henley over to celebrity African dictator Robert Mugabe.
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Funny story: Steven Gerrard to become an actor

Steven Gerrard to become an actor

Steven Gerrard, the captain of Liverpool FC, has decided to become an actor.
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Funny story: Gazza Arrested Again In Hemel Hempstead

Gazza Arrested Again In Hemel Hempstead

Paul Gascoigne, the former Newcastle, Tottenham, Lazio, Rangers, Middlesbrough, Everton, Burnley and Boston United midfielder, has been arrested by Police in Hemel Hempstead and charged under the Mental Health Act.
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Funny story: Rafael Nadal Introduces New Line of Shorts!

Rafael Nadal Introduces New Line of Shorts!

Paris - As Rafael Nadal closes in on another French Open Final his newest endorsement "AeroDynamic Shorts" announced the creation of a new Rafael Nadal line called "Hip Huggers".
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Funny story: Japan sneaks curve ball in space

Japan sneaks curve ball in space

Now that Kibo is safely in space the exuberant Japanese reveal they have tweaked the remote manipulator arm (RMA) to throw fastballs the size of small compact cars.
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Funny story: Barnyard and Bryn Bawr Require Birqah for '08-'09

Barnyard and Bryn Bawr Require Birqah for '08-'09

US women's colleges have been suffering from a decline in enrollment since men and women discovered that the real world is coed. Creative recruiters at schools like Mount Holyoke, Wellesley, Barnyard, Smith and Bryn Mawr think that they may have...
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Funny story: Receding Hairlines in Women Result from Polygamy and Incest

Receding Hairlines in Women Result from Polygamy and Incest

The San Angelo, Texas Hairline Research Institute has published new findings in the Journal of Balding Women and Children. SATHRI has suspected for years that the wearing of prairie dresses and the torturous bobbing of hair was the underlying cause o...
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Funny story: PM, Tsar Vladimir the Putana Masters the Hocus Pocus

PM, Tsar Vladimir the Putana Masters the Hocus Pocus

Putin has often shown some amazing prestidigitational skills. He made human rights and free enterprise disappear in the post- Soviet Russia. He hypnotized W when he looked into his eyes and failed to see the reflection of a Texas village idiot. But r...
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Funny story: Supremes Open "The Greenback Laundry and Lobbying Bar and Grill"

Supremes Open "The Greenback Laundry and Lobbying Bar and Grill"

Many have acknowledged that the salaries of government workers often fall far short of the private industry wages that such talented folks as our public servants could otherwise earn. For example, President Bush will triple his salary after graduatin...
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Funny story: Today's London Dry Metro Seems a Scary Place

Today's London Dry Metro Seems a Scary Place

Canada Dry may be a harmless little ale of ginger. Martini Dry sounds like a thirsty Italian. But the London Dry Metro became a house of horrors. Last night's Farewell to Alcohol Party looked like the worst things could get, all with the vomiting...
View 'Today's London Dry Metro Seems a Scary Place'
Funny story: CNN Being Replaced with Teen Queen Hannah Montana!

CNN Being Replaced with Teen Queen Hannah Montana!

Cable News Network, otherwise known as CNN, provides television news coverage - But not for long.
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Funny story: Stonehenge Mysteries Revealed

Stonehenge Mysteries Revealed

SALISBURY, ENGLAND - Somewhat disappointing to viewers of drama-laden unanswered question television shows, local archaeologist, bon vivant and tattle-tale Sir Geoffrey Monmouth announced today that "Stonehenge was built 4,000 years ago as a mas...
View 'Stonehenge Mysteries Revealed'
Funny story: Energy Police Raid Electronics' Speakeasy

Energy Police Raid Electronics' Speakeasy

Baltimore Maryland, 15 March 2009: One of several known illegal Electronics' Joints in the city was raided tonight at 11:00 PM local time, by the Energy Police.
View 'Energy Police Raid Electronics' Speakeasy'
Funny story: Potter and Pratchett fans fight witched battles in central London.

Potter and Pratchett fans fight witched battles in central London.

Hundreds of fans of J.K Rowlings 'Harry Potter' and 'Discworld' author Terry Pratchett have clashed violently in central London's Leicester Square today bringing the busy capital to a standstill.
View 'Potter and Pratchett fans fight witched battles in central London.'
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