Funny story: Cell Phone Popcorn feature now ban at movie theaters

Cell Phone Popcorn feature now ban at movie theaters

Hollywood, California - Movie theaters not only are asking patrons to turn off their cell phones, but now days they are prohibiting them from popping corn with them as well. The new policy comes on the heels of a popular YouTube video showing cell ph...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse and Pete Docherty Filmed Snorting Baby Mice

Amy Winehouse and Pete Docherty Filmed Snorting Baby Mice

Troubled singer Amy Winehouse was today at the centre of a new contraversy after being film snorting baby mice alongside fellow rocker Pete Docherty.
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Funny story: Fuel Crisis Deepens As Rooney Flies Family To Italian Wedding

Fuel Crisis Deepens As Rooney Flies Family To Italian Wedding

The UK fuel crisis has worsened today following Wayne Rooney's last minute decision to fly his raggle-taggle chavvy gypsy family out to Italy to witness his lavish wedding.
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Funny story: Subway Franchise Admits To Selling Just Boring Salad Really

Subway Franchise Admits To Selling Just Boring Salad Really

Health conscious food chain Subway has admitted that most of its food range consists of nothing more than "bland common or garden salad."...
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Funny story: Supreme Court Kicks Bush In The Nads

Supreme Court Kicks Bush In The Nads

(Washington) - Despite having loaded the Supreme Court with neo-fascists during his two terms, President George W. Bush received a hard shot to the groin today when the court voted 5-4 to allow detainees being held by the U.S. military at Guantanamo...
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Funny story: There's a fat f**k in the forums, that's why**

There's a fat f**k in the forums, that's why**

Unaccustomed as I am, M'Lud, to dissecting the minutiae of cocktail-hour banter in the Writers' Lounge...I must on this occasion draw your attention to the pithy throwaway one-liner curveball slung in the direction of fetid-mouthed Mr Mutton-Dressed-as-Fox-Faeces Saga-Peddler today.
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Funny story: John McCain Sex Tape Surfaces

John McCain Sex Tape Surfaces

Holy cow! Senator John McCain in a sex-tape? And not one made during his salad days at Annapolis, but last year, more like in his cigars and brandy nights? The choice was simple: Either film a sex-tape, or give the Bush White House to a Democrat.
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Funny story: "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" advance on the Nation's Capitol as Bush retreats from shorting the FDA budget

"Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" advance on the Nation's Capitol as Bush retreats from shorting the FDA budget

Washington, DC - Refusing any additional funding during the Congressional hearings on the Chinese wheat gluten and lead contamination scare to hire addition FDA inspectors, the Bush administration has reversed its position and now asks Congress for t...
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Funny story: Mars Phoenix Lander Bakes Cake

Mars Phoenix Lander Bakes Cake

Houston TX-- NASA scientists were astonished today by a new discovery from the Phoenix Mars Lander. The little spacecraft landed at the martian north pole ten days ago. Yesterday, the lander placed a small sample of martian soil in a heated oven for...
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Funny story: Shadow Home Secretary Resigns Pointlessly

Shadow Home Secretary Resigns Pointlessly

The shadow home secretary David Davies Davis today resigned pointlessly, and nobody really noticed. He said: 'Laws have eroded British civil liberties for years, and my resignation won't make the slightest bit of difference to that.'
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Funny story: David Davis Resigns Over 42 Day Detention

David Davis Resigns Over 42 Day Detention

David "Action Man" Davis the shadow home seceratary and Conservative member for the East Yorkshire constituency of Haltemprice & Howden, shocked political colleagues and opponents alike today by resigning his seat in order to force a by-ele...
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Funny story: Top Justices Detained

Top Justices Detained

Shortly after a 5-4 vote which restored the right of habeas corpus to Guantanamo detainees, U.S. Supreme Court Justices Anthony Kennedy, John Paul Stevens, David Souter, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Stephen Breyer were maced and shackled in a surprise leg...
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Funny story: Theo Walcott: The Fast and The Frightened

Theo Walcott: The Fast and The Frightened

Arsenal forward, Theo Walcott, is one of the world's fastest players, as well as petrified of balls, revealed manager, Arsene Wenger, during a press conference given after The Gunners' latest match against Fulham.
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Funny story: Wayne Marries In Italy

Wayne Marries In Italy

Football star Wayne Rooney got married in Italy to his childhood sweetheart, a plate of ravioli, at lunchtime today. The ceremony took place in the Ristorante Unapizza in Portofino, and the footballer's best man was a tube of cannelone, filled wi...
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Funny story: Churchill Promises Vote On Joining Hitler's New European Empire; No Matter What We Want

Churchill Promises Vote On Joining Hitler's New European Empire; No Matter What We Want

Churchill, leader of our independent nation, today told reporters that he promises us a vote on joining the European super state, unless it looks certain that we will all say no.
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Funny story: War on Terror: Government to Lock up Everyone

War on Terror: Government to Lock up Everyone

Under a tough new counter-terrorism measure approved by the House of Commons yesterday, all inhabitants of the British Isles are to be detained indefinitely, except for MPs, judges, police, the intelligence services, and the army.
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Funny story: Sean Connery To Visit Scotland

Sean Connery To Visit Scotland

World-famous Scottish actor Sir Sean Connery is to visit the Edinburgh book festival this year.
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Funny story: Alien given the boot

Alien given the boot

Gerald, the nosey Alien seen in a Video that is floating around Cyberspace, after being filmed by a Mr Pacman in Denver has been sacked.
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Funny story: Health Scare Over US Tomatoes

Health Scare Over US Tomatoes

Today, millions of tomatoes were withdrawn from shops and stores across America, because of healthy-eating fears.
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Funny story: BNP Wants 42 day limit abolished

BNP Wants 42 day limit abolished

After the vote in the commons on Wednesday, the leader of the British National Party said the 42 day limit should be abolished in favour of a new set of measures he proposes.
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Funny story: Campbell the Hedghog

Campbell the Hedghog

Campbell the Hedghog arrived home tyred (sic) and flat. Well he had, after all, been run over by a car.
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Funny story: President Bush Inducted Into Druggie Hall Of Fame

President Bush Inducted Into Druggie Hall Of Fame

Today President George W Bush was inducted into the Famous People Who Are Drugs Casualties Hall of Fame.
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Funny story: Emma Watson Opens A Crisp Factory

Emma Watson Opens A Crisp Factory

It seems like history is repeating itself and once again Harry Potter actress Miss. Watson's copy cat skills have prevailed. Because this time, on hearing that fellow actor Radders had got his hands on a brand new spanking crisp factory, she too...
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Funny story: Big Phil To Open Garage Near Stamford Bridge

Big Phil To Open Garage Near Stamford Bridge

Chelsea unveiled their new manager Big Phil at a Press conference this morning, with the first development likely to be the addition of a new service garage near to the Stamford Bridge ground.
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Funny story: Medal winning places extended at this year's Olympics

Medal winning places extended at this year's Olympics

To help prevent ill feeling, tears and general lowliness, it has been decided that in an era of goodwill to all men, peace and reconciliation, international co-operation and a mad man running Zimbabwe, the medal award positions will be greatly extend...
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Funny story: Friends To Replace US Elections

Friends To Replace US Elections

The hit comedy show Friends will today replace all US elections.
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Funny story: Wayne Rooney Marries Pig

Wayne Rooney Marries Pig

Wayne Rooney, the Manchester United and England centre forward, has married his childhood sweetheart, a pig named Colly, in a ceremony at the 17th Century Villa Durazzo in the Italian town of Portofino, the mayor of...
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Funny story: New events approved just in time for Beijing Olympics

New events approved just in time for Beijing Olympics

In a surprise move mere weeks before the start of the Olympic games in Beijing, the International Olympic Committee have announced the inclusion of some extra events to broaden the appeal for television watchers of the games throughout the world.
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Funny story: Friday the 13th UFO heading for Windsor Castle

Friday the 13th UFO heading for Windsor Castle

Windsor - (Alien Mess): An ominous-looking 'Grim Reaper' craft was seen emerging from a secret Transylvanian site today close to Austrian incest nutter Joseph Fritzl's secret tunnel network, heading directly towards its mothership hangar beneath Wind...
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Funny story: McCain investigated over Obama plant

McCain investigated over Obama plant

John McCain has today been the center of an investigation into election fixing. The Republican candidate is accused of planting the opposing contender Barack Obama in a bid to scupper the chances of a Democratic election.
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Funny story: Daniel Radcliffe Opens A Crisp Factory

Daniel Radcliffe Opens A Crisp Factory

Not content with just causing obesity via his chocolate factory, Daniel Radcliffe or Radders as we all like to call him, has bought a crisp factory so he can line his bank account with profits from more bad tasting, cheaply made, insanely high in fat...
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Funny story: Aintgottaprayer.con launches rival 'Dead Christian' email service

Aintgottaprayer.con launches rival 'Dead Christian' email service

Cyberspace - (Ass Mess): Internet spread betting giant Aintgottaprayer.con has diversified into the lucrative necrology sector after rival website Youvebeenleftbehind.con announced a new service for Christians that sends emails to a...
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Funny story: ASBO's Issuing Beatings To Criminal Youngsters

ASBO's Issuing Beatings To Criminal Youngsters

The older generation, victimised for years, have taken matters concerning youth crime into their own hands by doling out their own brand of punishment. In several cases, youths have been clubbed with walking sticks and beaten with zimmerframes.
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Funny story: Bullion heist cops in spoof terror files sting

Bullion heist cops in spoof terror files sting

London - (Dumb Ass Mess): "That's screwed them over good and proper!" was the delighted comment from the Met's Commander Jim B Ergerac following a national flap over some classified intelligence (sic) papers left carelessly behind o...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown personally telephones another voter

Gordon Brown personally telephones another voter

Hot on the heals of his fantastic, incredible, unbelievable, Conservative-beating and amazing majority of, er, 9 in the recent Commons vote on 42 days detention, Prime Minister Gordon Brown decided to telephone a random British voter to join in the c...
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Funny story: MoD in Copyright Dispute over RAF

MoD in Copyright Dispute over RAF

MoD officials have now released a statement in the latest round of their long running copyright claim over their globally recognised RAF roundel. The roundel which has long been synonymous with ageing rock group the who, is said to be popular with mo...
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Funny story: Big Phil Targets Folan

Big Phil Targets Folan

Big Phil Scolari newly installed manager at rudderless Chelsea's FC has made it his intention to make Hull City goal machine Caleb Folan His priority target. Big Phil it is said will stop at nothing and is refusing to take no for an answer. With...
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Funny story: Presidential Race to be determined by Rock, Paper, Scissors

Presidential Race to be determined by Rock, Paper, Scissors

After the last two elections and the long Democratic nominating process, people close to Barrack Obama and John McCain disclosed the the two have agreed to a game of rock, paper, scissors to determine the next president.
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Funny story: Fretful Moe N. Moe Dowdy: "Will Repubs Treat Michelle O the Way I trashed Hillary C?

Fretful Moe N. Moe Dowdy: "Will Repubs Treat Michelle O the Way I trashed Hillary C?

Now that Moe Dowdy doesn't have Hillary to kick around any more, she has begun to worry out loud. Will the Republican attack dogs follow her bestial savaging of Hillary and visit it upon the black head of Michelle Obama...? The rapidly aging Dowdy sank her dentures into the Clinton campaign like Dracula on a million Minas. "She showed the way to the lost in the wilderness McCainanites&quo...
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Funny story: Tisch, Tisch...Tisch Family Causes Increase in Kool Cancer

Tisch, Tisch...Tisch Family Causes Increase in Kool Cancer

The prop plane trailed its banner across the summer sky before the eyes of Tisch family fellow beach club members announcing: "Larry Tisch Sells Cancer Sticks!"...
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Funny story: Fity Cent Can't Sell LI Estate for...Fity Cent!

Fity Cent Can't Sell LI Estate for...Fity Cent!

Ten dollars ago, Fity Cent promised his lady and their new born currencies that their LI Mansion would be theirs. Since the tenner has been spent and the promised house has lately been burnt to the ground, Fity thought he was in the clear.
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Funny story: Strawberry Shortcake Breaks her Cherry!

Strawberry Shortcake Breaks her Cherry!

1980's cartoon character Strawberry Shortcake has fallen victim to the Puritanizing of America.
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Funny story: Tomato Problems Traced To Mexican Farms

Tomato Problems Traced To Mexican Farms

The tomato ban, which spread from Texas and New Mexico to nine states, then seventeen states, and then the entire country, has been traced to product imported from Mexico.
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Funny story: American Government Created Photoshop During Cold War to Prosecute Russians

American Government Created Photoshop During Cold War to Prosecute Russians

Government official Dean Trumbell announced on his deathbed today that the American government created Photoshop in 1956 in order to falsify pictures they used as evidence against supposed Russian spies and captured communists.
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Funny story: Vince McMahon to give away the WWE

Vince McMahon to give away the WWE

Vince McMahon is expected to announce Thursday at a news conference that he will give one lucky viewer of Monday Night Raw the chance to win the WWE.
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