Funny story: DOW Ejaculates On Wild Trading

DOW Ejaculates On Wild Trading

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Stocks snapped a five-day losing streak on Wednesday, with the Dow coming energetically by nearly 300 yards on optimism that a government plan to rescue ailing bond insurers is taking shape and could prevent billions more in cred...
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Funny story: Hockey Stick Becomes Reality For Al Gore!

Hockey Stick Becomes Reality For Al Gore!

The belief that you can create your own reality, a belief prevalent among Eastern Gurus and Mystics, came embarrassingly true for the winner of the US presidential election in 2000, Al Gore (who subsequently handed the reins over to George Bush in a...
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Funny story: Ringo Starr on Intercontinental Wrecking Tour

Ringo Starr on Intercontinental Wrecking Tour

Ringo Starr kicked off his 'Intercontinental Wrecking Tour' in Liverpool last week with sidekick Dave Stewart. However, Liverpudlians were 'shocked' and 'dismayed' at Ringo's snub of their hometown during...
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Funny story: 'Open' legs distraction: Maria Sharapova in M & S Knickers

'Open' legs distraction: Maria Sharapova in M & S Knickers

Blonde beauty and Russian tennis ace, Maria Sharapova has caused a storm in the Australian Open Tennis championships by thrashing Belgian Justine Henin.
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Funny story: Writers' strike wipes billions off world markets

Writers' strike wipes billions off world markets

The true impact of the writers' strike that has seen the Golden Globes cancelled and the Oscars threatened has now been felt worldwide as stock markets across the world have crashed.
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Funny story: British police march in protest at "three pigs" story

British police march in protest at "three pigs" story

The British Police force marched en masse today in London to protest at the teaching in schools of the "three little pigs" story, after it was declared "too offe...
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Funny story: Bin Laden releases shocking new video

Bin Laden releases shocking new video

The middle eastern television network Al Jazeera have today released a bizarre video of Osama Bin Laden performing the eighties hit 'Agadoo' by Black Lace. What was widely expected to be a threatening message to the West the video was however...
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Funny story: Movie critic sees stars

Movie critic sees stars

Jules O'Bannon, a movie critic for the New York Times, was admitted to St. Luke's Hospital on Wednesday with multiple fractures after "sustaining a fall" at his home following a remark that his mother's mashed potatoes were &quo...
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Funny story: Belgian Prostitutes have to pay for sex

Belgian Prostitutes have to pay for sex

The normally quaint small country town of Bolloux (the 'x' is silent) in Belgium has entered the international news spotlight after reports that so desperate are its indigenous prostitute population that they have res...
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Funny story: Breaking The Wind Habit Could Save The Planet!

Breaking The Wind Habit Could Save The Planet!

The Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) has just released astonishing information that could help check the steady rise of greenhouse gases that are causing anthropogenic global warming. CO2 emissions continue to be the most damaging gre...
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Funny story: Zac Efron works in Frankenstein

Zac Efron works in Frankenstein

Zac Efron will be working in a Frankenstein movie which is based on the novel written by Mary Shelley. The movie will expose a secret Mary Shelley's legacy has been hiding.
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Funny story: Shearer Sings for Geordie Nation

Shearer Sings for Geordie Nation

Alan Shearer has revealed a well-kept secret during his talks with Kevin Keegan, pleading for a top job at possibly the greatest football club in the world. The secret? Well namely that he is in fact a professionally-trained opera singer.
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Funny story: Crazy W proclaims Dollar Value Days!

Crazy W proclaims Dollar Value Days!

Fort Knox, KY - Standing on pallets of $100 bills, Salesman-in-Chief George W Bush announced "Dollar Value Days At The U.S. Treasury".
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Funny story: African Cup Of Nations Halted As Tribal Wars Break Out

African Cup Of Nations Halted As Tribal Wars Break Out

The African Cup Of Nations football tournament has been abandoned due to a major outbreak of tribal conflicts which, authorities say, have threatened the stability of the whole continent.
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Funny story: Bush Cheney Ticket Will Restore Integrity to the White House

Bush Cheney Ticket Will Restore Integrity to the White House

Washington (IPP) - Reporters were taken on a time machine back to the 2000 presidential "election".
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Funny story: Cameron to Swim to Arctic Circle

Cameron to Swim to Arctic Circle

The Conservative leader David Cameron is attempting the world's first solo swim to the Arctic, it was revealed yesterday. The announcement was made at a press conference, arranged by the right-wing 'Tories For Swimming To The Arctic Circle...
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Funny story: Bush Beats Clinton 935 to One

Bush Beats Clinton 935 to One

Washington (IPP) - President for life, G.W. Bush beat Bill Clinton 935 to one in a tall tales contest. Bill Clinton lied when he said he "did not have sexual relations with that woman".
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Turns Philanthropist

Rush Limbaugh Turns Philanthropist

Palm Beach, Florida (IPP) - Rush Limbaugh invited reporters to his ocean front home in Palm Beach to discuss his entry into the field of philanthropy. Rush says he has been a taker all of his life and now wants to give something back to the world.
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Funny story: Thousands of Happy Shoppers Enter Egypt from Gaza

Thousands of Happy Shoppers Enter Egypt from Gaza

CAIRO (FMLiveWire) -- Tens of thousands of happy Palestinian shoppers poured into Egypt from Gaza on Wednesday through new doorways in a 7-mile barrier near the border town of Rafah.
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Funny story: Radiohead Announce More Plans for 'Green' Tour

Radiohead Announce More Plans for 'Green' Tour

Although Radiohead's latest critically acclaimed work, In Rainbows, suggests that the band is working with a wide spectrum of colors, it seems that the only color anyone in the band really cares about these days is Green.
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Funny story: Capitol Hill silence 'deafening' at Heath Ledger death news

Capitol Hill silence 'deafening' at Heath Ledger death news

Washington AC/DC - (Bad Ass Mess): The rule of omerta has descended on Capitol Hill following the news that Oscar nominee and Brokeback Mountain star Heath Ledger was found dead at home in Manhattan today.
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Funny story: Bush Agrees He Lied Hundreds of Times About Iraq to Promote War

Bush Agrees He Lied Hundreds of Times About Iraq to Promote War

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - President Bush has acknowledged that he lied hundreds of times about Iraq in order to warp public opinion into supporting the Iraq oil war.
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Funny story: Dog Shit Found in Blue Peter Garden

Dog Shit Found in Blue Peter Garden

Police and forensic scientists have this morning been called to the BBC Television Centre studios after a live dog turd was discovered in amongst some rhododendrons in the Blue Peter garden
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Funny story: Car Boot, 'Boot-leg' trousers are dangerous!

Car Boot, 'Boot-leg' trousers are dangerous!

HARTLEPOOL, ENGLAND: A huge explosion shook many buildings in the city centre today, scattering tens of shoppers running for their lives. Police and fire crews were alerted and investigations soon le...
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Funny story: Gordon Ramsay to Stop Swearing

Gordon Ramsay to Stop Swearing

TV swearing expert and presenter of the F-word, Gordon Ramsay, has said in a statement today that he intends to curb his foul language, and concentrate, instead, on being a chef.
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Funny story: British National History Museum Announces: "One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing!"

British National History Museum Announces: "One of Our Dinosaurs is Missing!"

In the wake of the latest 'lost laptop' scandal, the British National History Museum in London has admitted that a skeleton of a long-dead dinosaur cannot be accounted for, and could have fallen into the hand...
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Funny story: Sir Trevor Mc Donald reveals how he gets himself up for News at Ten

Sir Trevor Mc Donald reveals how he gets himself up for News at Ten

National institution Sir Trevor McDonald has sensationally admitted to using a fluffer to prepare himself for his gruelling late night schedule.
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Funny story: 250,000 cops march on Whitehall

250,000 cops march on Whitehall

London - AssoCIAted Mess): Over 250,000 police officers are marching on Whitehall today in a protest against the mobster rule of Gorgon Brown, Ken Livingstone, Amy Whorehouse, the Northern Crock and the Puppet Monarch.
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Funny story: Brunei dumps Sarkozy

Brunei dumps Sarkozy

Paris, France - (Bare Ass Mess): Italian topless model Carla Brunei has dumped her French president lover Nicholas Sarkozy and shacked up with a "loaded Russian oligarch" in an Ile St Louis apartment according to reports from Paris today.
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Funny story: Movie star Heath Ledger found dead

Movie star Heath Ledger found dead

Found earlier today was the lifeless corpse of actor Heath Ledger, star of several films including A Knights Tale and The Patriot.
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Funny story: Acne Medication Removes Volcano

Acne Medication Removes Volcano

Melikalikimaka, Hawaii (IPP) - Sientists at Hawaii's Volcano Research Institute (HVRI) have successfully removed a volcano by applying acne medicine to the volcano's surface.
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Funny story: Human Extinction Delayed 6 Months; Greener Living Slightly Rescues Mankind

Human Extinction Delayed 6 Months; Greener Living Slightly Rescues Mankind

ACADEMIA, Calif. - Today, the Center to Obtain Grant Money by Perpetually Studying Global Warming, or COGMPSGW for short, released better than expected news. The COGMPSGW report shows a six month delay in global warming, thanks to greener habits.
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Funny story: High School Musical 3

High School Musical 3

In high school musical 3 there is a scene where Corbin Bleu gets married with Vanessa Anne Hudgens. They hold the wedding in Las Vegas and then a month later they divorce.
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Funny story: Murphy, NC Suspect Arrested in Snowman Death

Murphy, NC Suspect Arrested in Snowman Death

Murphy, North Carolina (IPP) - Cherokee County sheriff deputies arrested a suspect in the death of Frosty T. Snowman this afternoon. The deputies discovered the remains of the deceased snowman after receiving a tip from a propane gas delivery man.
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