Funny story: Kate Moss slams 'fake' orgy claims

Kate Moss slams 'fake' orgy claims

London - (Ass Mess): Supermodel Kate Moss has slammed Sunday Tosser reports that she is so old, haggard and generally past it she had to hire professional lookalikes to stage a fake orgy at her 34th birthday party last week while she was se...
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Funny story: Britney Spears a 'Huge Cow', Says Sis

Britney Spears a 'Huge Cow', Says Sis

World class decathlete Mike Britney caused a stir this week while practicing his javelin throw. According to his training partner and sister, Linda, Britney stumbled as he released the javelin, which sailed off course and into a nearby farmer's...
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Funny story: 69 MoD laptops found at the bottom of the Diana Fountain

69 MoD laptops found at the bottom of the Diana Fountain

Hype Park - (Reuterus & Bad Ass Mess): The Ministry of Defence has admitted that 69 laptops containing details of all the soldiers that Princess Diana had ever shagged have somehow ended up at the bottom of the Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Foun...
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus's Identity Crisis

Miley Cyrus's Identity Crisis

It seems that teeny-bopper Hannah Montana star Miley Cyrus is having an identity crisis. The fifteen-year old was reportedly seen walking the streets in her Hannah Montana wig, even though she had no interviews or appearances scheduled.
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Funny story: Bill Oddie and Paparazzi to Blame for Aircrash at Heathrow

Bill Oddie and Paparazzi to Blame for Aircrash at Heathrow

Civil Aviation Aircraft Crash Investigators have been closely examining the wreckage of the Boeing 777 airliner which crashed last week narrowly missing 6 lanes of traffic and yet with no fatalities. British airways were quick to preserve the integri...
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Funny story: Kucinich Demands Fellow Candidates Agree to Hand Jobs in Every State

Kucinich Demands Fellow Candidates Agree to Hand Jobs in Every State

Today Dennis Kucinich demanded that every state hand count their ballots because as he indicated "Things are sure to get messy and hand jobs to count ballots should straighten some things out. And I want my fellow candidates to ask for hand job...
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Funny story: 24/7 armed guard to patrol Anna Nicole Smith's grave ahead of first anniversary

24/7 armed guard to patrol Anna Nicole Smith's grave ahead of first anniversary

Nassau, Bahamas - (Reuterus & Ass): Less than three weeks from the first anniversary of Anna Nicole Smith's untimely death at the Seminole Hard Northern Rock Hotel in Hollywood, Florida, the Governor of the Bahamas has ordered a 24/7 arm...
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Funny story: Huge California Fire Erupts after Kids have Fart Lighting Contest

Huge California Fire Erupts after Kids have Fart Lighting Contest

Three San Diego youths were arrested in connection with a fire that apparently ignited while they were lighting farts in an apparent contest.
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Funny story: "No-one knows anything about you." Public assured after latest data lapse

"No-one knows anything about you." Public assured after latest data lapse

The British public, now confirmed by official figures to be the most public in the world, have been assured that their personal data is completely safe. From now on, even the people who are supposed to read it won't be able to.
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Funny story: Puppet Monarch 'had Old Queen Mum's coke debts sealed in secret will'

Puppet Monarch 'had Old Queen Mum's coke debts sealed in secret will'

Buckingham Palace - (Litigious Mess): The Puppet Queen Mum's last will and testicle was secretly sealed on Buckingham Palace orders in 2002 to protect her legacy from crack-dealing creditors according to reports.
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Funny story: Alonso hit me with a sex toy: Hamilton speaks out for first time

Alonso hit me with a sex toy: Hamilton speaks out for first time

Lewis Hamilton has spoken for the first time in depth about his troubled relationship with former team mate and crooner Fernando Alonso. In the interview he revealed shocking revelations regarding his hostility to the 'sore losing w*nker.
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Funny story: Britney heartbroken as Diana's Butler beds Winehouse

Britney heartbroken as Diana's Butler beds Winehouse

Paul Burrell, former fawner in chief to Princess Diana and publicity junkie has continued to cause chaos in the life of vulnerable young women. Burrell announced that he has split with Britney after only two day's of drug fuelled sex and has fall...
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Funny story: Amy Winehouse behind £50 million Top Crack Mansion purchase

Amy Winehouse behind £50 million Top Crack Mansion purchase

London - (Sad Ass Mess): Early press stories that London's daftest house purchase of 2008 - the £50 million Top Crack Mansion in Hampstead Garden Suburb's Bishops Avenue - was made by a seedy, secretive Kazakhstani brothelkeeper called Ms Who...
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Funny story: Ryanair not interested in low fares

Ryanair not interested in low fares

A team of GCSE Business Studies students from Basildon Comprehensive School have today revealed how they were sensationally snubbed by the company. The group of 14 & 15 year olds last week contacted Ryanair with plans to slash their...
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Funny story: Putin stages fishy naval warfare exercises at Praia Da Luz

Putin stages fishy naval warfare exercises at Praia Da Luz

Praia Da Iluzion - (A Fine Mess): President Putin has ordered Russia's massive nuclear naval fleet to start emergency exercises off the Portuguese coast right on Praia Da Iluzion's doorstep.
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Funny story: Banned Beverage Returns to American Bars

Banned Beverage Returns to American Bars

Absinthe was taken off of the liquor store shelves and out of the bars and saloons of the United States over 100 years ago. Doctors, at the time, said that the drink caused blindness, seizures, and insanity.
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Funny story: Britney Spears to Study Theoretical Quantum Mechanics at MIT

Britney Spears to Study Theoretical Quantum Mechanics at MIT

According to Britney Spears' agent in Hollywood, the starlet has decided to give up acting and performing for other academic pursuits.
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Funny story: Drug addict singer filmed taking drugs

Drug addict singer filmed taking drugs

The entertainment world was rocked to its foundations today as a drug addict was filmed taking drugs. The shock footage of Amy Winehouse, someone who (according to her song 'Rehab') is addicted to drugs, showed her snorting cocaine and smoki...
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Funny story: Scandal Over X-Rated Postman Pat

Scandal Over X-Rated Postman Pat

The latest series of Postman Pat has caused massive controversy over its adult content. Mothers and fathers have expressed their 'concern' at the level of explicit sex scenes, hardcore swearing and excessive drug taking.
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Funny story: Alan Hansen 'Unbearable' At Home

Alan Hansen 'Unbearable' At Home

Match of the Day pundit and Captain Scarlet lookalike Alan Hansen has become 'unbearable' to live with, claims his wife Linda.
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Funny story: Bush Calls Blacks Lazy, Stupid

Bush Calls Blacks Lazy, Stupid

Local Resident Jerry Bush accused his neighors, Tom and Cathy Black, of being lazy for failing to take down their Christmas lights in a timely manner.
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Funny story: Stocks Climb a Negative 250 Points

Stocks Climb a Negative 250 Points

Wall Street - Reacting to the latest plan proposed by George W Bush, the stock market climbed in a downward direction around 250 points today.
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Funny story: Keegan Signs Shearer To Spearhead Attack

Keegan Signs Shearer To Spearhead Attack

Kevin Keegan, the second-choice Newcastle United manager, dipped into the transfer market for the first time today, to swoop for the ex-Newcastle and England elbow expert and centre forward Alan Shearer
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Funny story: Engelbert Humperdinck to change name

Engelbert Humperdinck to change name

Engelbert Humperdinck, the heavily moustached singer, has announced he is to change his name by deed poll to avoid a string of recent insults.
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Funny story: Zac Efron's Makeup Mishap

Zac Efron's Makeup Mishap

It seems common knowledge (to any prepubescent girl) that teen heartthrob Zac Efron is extremely self conscious about his image. But the High School Musical star had to recently had to deny gay rumours after he was seen with a distinct powder on his...
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Funny story: Russian-held Matisse in centre of row after Swansea mum claims tot could do better

Russian-held Matisse in centre of row after Swansea mum claims tot could do better

A landmark exhibition of Russian-held art containing The Dance by Mattise, arguably the greatest painting ever, was at the centre of a growing international row today when a Swansea mum Charlene Church (47) claimed her two ye...
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Funny story: Universities ordered to stop extreme-sports students

Universities ordered to stop extreme-sports students

Reacting to alarming evidence that Britain's universities are becoming a recruiting ground for dangerous and life-threatening activity, the government has issued new instructions to academics to monitor and report student engagement in extremist...
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Funny story: Pranksters rob holy shrine of miraculous fluids

Pranksters rob holy shrine of miraculous fluids

Turin, Italy - (Satanic Mess): Italian newspapers have reported that a gang of occupational pranksters has targeted a church at the heart of one of the Vatican's greatest ever miracle scams and "stolen a vile (sic) of holy fluids as well as...
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Funny story: Pretender's hologram conference stunt emitted 20 tons of excess methane

Pretender's hologram conference stunt emitted 20 tons of excess methane

Clarence House - (OMFG Mess): The Pretender to the Puppet Throne's latest self-promotional PR stunt generated over 20 tons of carbon and other waste commonly found in flatulent emissions according to latest figures.
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Funny story: Rudy (9-11) Ghouliani Frightens Voters in Local Primaries

Rudy (9-11) Ghouliani Frightens Voters in Local Primaries

Tallahassee, Florida - Rudy (9-11) Ghouliani showed up at a campaign rally in Florida, this week, wearing a Count Dracula costume, and speaking on a stage with spiderwebs, and bats hanging from the ceiling.
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Funny story: Local Man Losing Interest In Woman He Is Stalking

Local Man Losing Interest In Woman He Is Stalking

(New York) For nearly two years Manhattan resident James Murphy has been tracking Dawn Kaminski's every move, but lately Murphy is losing interest in the pretty Upper West Side file clerk he watches though high-powered binoculars.
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