Funny story: GM Loses $38Billion; "I Just Saw it Last Week," Executive

GM Loses $38Billion; "I Just Saw it Last Week," Executive

Dearborn, Michigan General Motors Corp. reported today that it lost US$38.7Billion in FY 2007. But GM Executive Charles Wherzet had high hopes of recovering the money. "I just saw it last week on the conference room table. It ca...
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Funny story: Dolly Parton's "wagging puppies" sparks an international incident

Dolly Parton's "wagging puppies" sparks an international incident

Branson, Missouri - Dolly Parton's is to undergo emergency breast and nipple reduction surgery to relieve a chronic backache. It is the sixth time she has been under the knife for recurring medical condition that she has had since the 5th grade.
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Funny story: Westlife to make public apology for millions of awful records

Westlife to make public apology for millions of awful records

The following is a leaked press release on behalf of Westlife:...
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Funny story: Mexico Earthquake Unleashes Duck Billed Dinosaur

Mexico Earthquake Unleashes Duck Billed Dinosaur

Monte Tranquillo, Mexico (IPP) - Scientists and Mexican government authorities reported at 3:15 PM today that the 6.7 magnitude earthquake that occurred in Southern Mexico has opened a gap in the earth from which over 200 Duck Billed dinosaurs escape...
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Funny story: Brunei's Prince Jefri suspected in £84 million Nazi-link art heist

Brunei's Prince Jefri suspected in £84 million Nazi-link art heist

Zurich, Switzerland - (Thieving Mess): Brunei's Prince Jefri Archer is the top suspect behind the £84 million art heist from the Buehrle Museum.
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Funny story: James Brown Version of The Bible Supplants King James Version

James Brown Version of The Bible Supplants King James Version

Mephistopholville, Tennessee (IPP) - Bible publishers in this Southern Baptist stonghold announced to the public today that The James Brown version of the Bible has now sold more copies than the King James Version.
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Funny story: Clemens Shows Balls In Front of Congress, Proves Innocence

Clemens Shows Balls In Front of Congress, Proves Innocence

Roger 'the Rocket' Clemens went all out to prove his innocence at Wednesday's Congressional committee hearing.
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Funny story: Valentines Day Name Change Bill in Congress

Valentines Day Name Change Bill in Congress

Washington DC (IPP) - Congress will vote today on Bill HR569 which will determine as to whether or not to change the name of Valentine's Day to J. Edgar Hoover Day. It appears that conservative members of Congress will succeed in getting this le...
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Funny story: Alex Jones Must be Stopped!

Alex Jones Must be Stopped!

A NOTE TO MY FAITHFUL READERS: Although the following was apparently authored by my future self, it was obtained through a colleauge using an unconventional method of clairvoyant forecasting known as "automatic writing"...
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Funny story: Britain Has it's OATS (old age thugs)

Britain Has it's OATS (old age thugs)

According to police sources, Britain's streets are now no-go areas as gangs of elderly thugs are gathering around off-licences and Bingo Halls making general nuisances of themselves. Already this week 3
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Funny story: Williams sister accused of being a brother

Williams sister accused of being a brother

Maria Sharapova caused a storm yesterday after her game with Serena Williams, hinting the Florida beauty may actually be man.
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Funny story: Ellen Page wins big in Juno

Ellen Page wins big in Juno

Tuesday, Ellen Page received an Oscar for best actress in "Juno", a comedy about a pregnant teen. "Juno" also received three more Oscar nominations.
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Funny story: Rev Pat Robertson's rants vindicated as lightning strikes Rio's Christ the Redeemer

Rev Pat Robertson's rants vindicated as lightning strikes Rio's Christ the Redeemer

Rio de Janeiro - (Ungodly Mess): The Reverend Pat Robertson is in fine fettle this week after living proof that the Almighty is finally siding with him about ungodly papists ruining religion.
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Funny story: China Eyes U.S. Erection With Caution

China Eyes U.S. Erection With Caution

Beijing, China (IPP) - Chinese officials are eyeing the upcoming US Erection with caution. Officials there say it is impossible to predict who will be the next president.
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Funny story: Executive Order Changes Integer Sequence

Executive Order Changes Integer Sequence

Dude Ranch, TX - George W Bush issued an executive order today reducing the number of Americans under fire in Iraq to a low of 140,000, down from the 2006 high of 130,000.
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Funny story: Queen's orifice regularly checked for buggers Diana inquest told

Queen's orifice regularly checked for buggers Diana inquest told

Royal Courts of Justice - (Risible Mess): Buggery attempts raged rampant in the Queen's private orifice at Buckingham Palace the coroner was told today at Princess Diana's inquest hearing.
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Funny story: Balmoral's 'mystical' white stag a spooky omen for Puppet Monarchy

Balmoral's 'mystical' white stag a spooky omen for Puppet Monarchy

Balmoral Castle, Scotland - (Premonition Mess): The sudden appearance of a 'mystical' and ghostlike white stag in the craggy grounds abutting Balmoral Castle has sent shivers of trepidation among locals who fear it portends imminent doom for...
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Funny story: Heather Mills going for broke

Heather Mills going for broke

Heather Mills hopes to strike it rich in her divorce settlement with Sir Paul McCartney after the failed photographer and one-legged hoofer never quite measured up to First Lady status among the Beatles' women.
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Funny story: Jihadi extremists penetrated Heather Mills divorce court told

Jihadi extremists penetrated Heather Mills divorce court told

London - (Fetid Ass Mess): A senior divorce judge heard today Paul McCartney's testimony that Heather Mills had been penetrated by Abu Hamza.
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Funny story: Cupid Found Dead

Cupid Found Dead

Cupid, one of the smallest yet most powerful cherubs has been found dead.
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Funny story: 100 homeless crack dealers petition Mayor after Camden fire

100 homeless crack dealers petition Mayor after Camden fire

Camden Lock - (Arson Mess): London Mayor Ken Livingstone is being petitioned for a £££ handout by some 100 crack den owners who lost their homes and livelihoods during the weekend's blaze at Camden Lock.
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Funny story: Big Brother top techno-geek's Dubai bust sparked US Chinese spying arrests

Big Brother top techno-geek's Dubai bust sparked US Chinese spying arrests

Dubai, UAE - (Spooky Mess): A top technology wiz for the Big Brother UK reality TV show is still languishing in a Dubai slammer after being arrested on January 26 following a year-long CIA surveillance op that yesterday tail-ended with the d...
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Funny story: With Islam the Number One UK Religion What Will Happen to Underachieving Christians?

With Islam the Number One UK Religion What Will Happen to Underachieving Christians?

Islam, a religion once noted for fundamentalism and terrorism, has made such inroads into the UK that its devout followers now work in Government and key public utilities, Christians have been warned.
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Funny story: Bryan Robson Admits He Can't Manage Football Teams To Save His Life

Bryan Robson Admits He Can't Manage Football Teams To Save His Life

Struggling Bryan Robson the manager of struggling Championship strugglers Sheffield United, could be on his way out of Bramall Lane, according to some gossip I heard on the bus.
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Funny story: FDIC Offers Chihuahua Giveaway and Free Trips to Disneyland and Las Vegas

FDIC Offers Chihuahua Giveaway and Free Trips to Disneyland and Las Vegas

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - The Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) is now offering additional bonuses to depositors who have lost their life savings as US banks fail and as they receive minimal deposit insurance under new FDIC rules. Meanwhil...
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Funny story: Mosquitos Come Under Fire From Children's Group

Mosquitos Come Under Fire From Children's Group

A children's group has called for the eradication of the Mosquito, saying it is grossly unfair to the young, and is indiscriminate in targeting them.
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Funny story: Democratic Race Too Close To Call, 'Superdelegates' Summoned

Democratic Race Too Close To Call, 'Superdelegates' Summoned

US and A - As the race for president heats up, Democratic candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton must now focus their attention on courting the so-called "Superdelegates" who may well decide their fate.
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Funny story: Buster and the Baby angel, chapter 20

Buster and the Baby angel, chapter 20

Dearer reader, Because we have been away from each other for so long (Abcess makes the hard on grow harder) I cannot help but hurt from wonder if you recall the previous 19 chapters of the gross buster and the coup de grass baby angel. Will it be worth your precious time to plumb the dark depths of this sequel . . . or will you just join us in Chapter 20 and say the Buster Fuckhead (see Ch 1) with...
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Funny story: OH, I, ET McCrone Am Back!

OH, I, ET McCrone Am Back!

Sent to the mattresses as the Seecileeanns might say, after Sweet William's rejection (see Magazine, pointer, April 17, 2007) I, ET McCrone has emerged after a six month "Sleep" to rejoin the campaign which I practically and impractically began! First, a bit of history. . . Perhaps you remember 2007, January 22-23 when I first launched my campaign:...
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Funny story: CEO JC Says Financial Wisdom Dictates Closing Poor Neighborhood Churches

CEO JC Says Financial Wisdom Dictates Closing Poor Neighborhood Churches

Catholic dioceses and arch have been shuttering very old churches in poor neighborhoods to the shudders of lifelong parishioners. At the same time new parishes like St Yuppy of Scarsdale have been opening newly constructed Ecclesio-Mansions in areas...
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Funny story: Bush Immunity: The 'I Know-Nothing' Defense

Bush Immunity: The 'I Know-Nothing' Defense

Unlike Clinton who seemed to know everything and therefore was vulnerable to every attack on his integrity, wisdom and discretion, GWB has found a weird kind of immunity in his ignorance.
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Funny story: Clinton bumps manager, will grind out campaign

Clinton bumps manager, will grind out campaign

Hillary Clinton replaced campaign manager Patti Solis Doyle on Sunday after what insiders called the Pantsuit Debacle.
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Funny story: States Lining up to be the primary for Old Sparky

States Lining up to be the primary for Old Sparky

GUANTANAMO, Cuba - Prosecutors are seeking the death penalty for the alleged conspirators in the killing of nearly 3000 people in 2001. The trial of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, Mohammed al-Qahtani, Ramzi Binalshibh, Ali Abd al-Aziz Ali, Mustafa Ahmad al-...
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Funny story: US seizes four Chinese pies

US seizes four Chinese pies

Washington AC/DC - (Espionage Mess): Four Chinese New Year pies have been seized by the CIA and probed for microdots containing space shuttle secrets "after somebody ratted" according to reports.
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