Funny story: Algerian Runners Will Be Golden Camels!

Algerian Runners Will Be Golden Camels!

At the Olympics today its expected to be a two-horse race between the Algeria stars Nadjim Manseur and Nabil Madi in the 800 metres race. The two runners were victorious in their first rounds and beat a lot of the expected favorites from Europe an...
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Funny story: Bigfoot Settles For Silver Medal In Beijing

Bigfoot Settles For Silver Medal In Beijing

The 'real Bigfoot' capped an extraordinary year with a disappointing end for himself at the Bird's Nest in Beijing tonight, when he could only claim a silver medal in the Olympic Triple Jump event. Phillips Idowu, whose name is the wrong way aroun...
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Funny story: British Swimmer Claims Silver After Near-Death Experience

British Swimmer Claims Silver After Near-Death Experience

British 10km Open Water swimmer David Davies swam the race of his life to win a silver medal in Beijing today, but revealed afterwards that it nearly didn't happen. Davies told officials at the finish line that he believed he had "died", and come...
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Funny story: Hallmark Cards Has New Line For Gay Marriages, Other Alternate Lifestyles

Hallmark Cards Has New Line For Gay Marriages, Other Alternate Lifestyles

Hallmark, the world's largest retailer and producer of gift cards for all occasions (sympathy, birthdays, holidays, etc.) has announced that they will begin mass producing greeting cards for same sex marriages and for people with alternate lifestyles...
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Funny story: Floozy In Red Shoes Flirts With Men, Causing Hard-ons

Floozy In Red Shoes Flirts With Men, Causing Hard-ons

A woman in red stiletto-heeled shoes flirted with shoppers in a busy Staffordshire high street today, drawing admiring stares from desperate men, and causing widespread hard-ons. The woman in her thirties, emerged from one of the town's many chari...
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Funny story: John Lennon shot dead at 67

John Lennon shot dead at 67

In news that will shock the world we can exclusively reveal that John Lennon, lovable rogue and Dwarf catcher, has been shot dead by a crazed gunman in the heart of New York City. After hearing the tragic news we sent our US Correspondent Andrew R...
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Funny story: Secret TSA Taste Police Scheme Exposed

Secret TSA Taste Police Scheme Exposed

In the face of repeated and widely publicized failures to detect handguns at airports and radioactive materials at ports, our investigation has revealed that the Transportation Security Agency (TSA) has developed a covert plan to avoid future humilia...
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Funny story: 'Silent Hour' Debuts on ABC This Fall

'Silent Hour' Debuts on ABC This Fall

Hollywood CA-- Steven Boctchco's new police drama begins this September on ABC. The mercurial producer of 'NYPD Blue' and 'Cop Rock' has a new idea based upon the silent film era. 'Silent Hour' will have no dialogue at all. Ragtime music and pantomim...
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Funny story: Billy Whizz Challenges Usain Bolt

Billy Whizz Challenges Usain Bolt

Beano speedster Billy Whizz has laid down the gauntlet to Jamaican star Usain Bolt, challenging him to a race 'anytime, anywhere'. Whizz, who despite being around since 1964, still looks about 12, has branded Bolt 'overrated and old news'. "100 me...
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Funny story: Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell Form Man Band for X Factor

Louis Walsh and Simon Cowell Form Man Band for X Factor

The news came in today that the man sent from hell Simon Cowell and his arch rival Louis Walsh will perform on the first episode of the X Factor. The news came as a shock to most people as part of Walsh's new contract meant he had to audition bef...
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Funny story: Usain Bolt Laps Rivals In 200 Metres Final

Usain Bolt Laps Rivals In 200 Metres Final

Usain Bolt has raised the bar in men's sprinting after lapping his rivals in the 200m final in Beijing and winning in a time of 0.578 seconds. The Jamaican managed to overtake his opponents for a second time on his lap of honour after he had already...
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Funny story: Pole Dancing helps women lose weight; though causing dehydration in men, says sexy study

Pole Dancing helps women lose weight; though causing dehydration in men, says sexy study

Hollywood, California - A recent study on the health benefits of pole dancing has concluded that women practicing the vertical boogie-woogie do not derive their over inflated false sense of self-worth from men leering at their exposed bodies or from...
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Funny story: 2008 Olympics: Man With Starting Gun Fails Drug Test

2008 Olympics: Man With Starting Gun Fails Drug Test

There was a new drugs scandal at the Olympic Games this morning, when the official responsible for starting sprint races with the starting gun failed a drugs test. Aun Yo Marx, who has started every sprint race thus far, tested positive for a ster...
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Funny story: McDonalds sells first real Hamburger

McDonalds sells first real Hamburger

Yes it is true McDonalds have in fact sold their first ever burger made with real cow meat. Beforehand it had been made of squirrel, hedgehog and the occasional koala bear but finally cows were culled for meat instead of fun. When a local man...
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Funny story: Troy knocks up Gabriella

Troy knocks up Gabriella

It finally happened. Troy knocked up Gabriella. Yes that's right, Vanessa Hudgens is pregnant with Zac Efron's first child. Well, so the leprechaun in my head tells me. The High School Musical stars have announced in this weeks issue of OK! Magazi...
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Funny story: Olympic President Pissed Off With Usain Bolt

Olympic President Pissed Off With Usain Bolt

IOC President, Jacques Rogge, has expressed his displeasure with Olympic sprint champion Usain Bolt, saying he has been disrespectful to other athletes by celebrating in a manner "totally inappropriate" for a man who has just broken two world record...
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Funny story: Gary Glitter Heads to Beijing In Sudden Change of Heart

Gary Glitter Heads to Beijing In Sudden Change of Heart

Unwanted export Gary Glitter was this morning en route to Beijing after being refused entry to every other country. Glitter was previously holed up in the tiny country of Limbo, just outside Thailand. It is believed that Glitter suddenly decided t...
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Funny story: Internet shopping van delivery driver sues supermarket over work practices

Internet shopping van delivery driver sues supermarket over work practices

Harry Van Dieselgaspetrol, a driver for the internet home shopping delivery service operated by a top supermarket, is suing the supermarket over their work practices. A writ has been issued today to the Cheshunt head office of the retail giant by...
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Funny story: Jade Goody Reveals Cancer Scares Are Killing Her

Jade Goody Reveals Cancer Scares Are Killing Her

Fat lipped trout Jade Goody has spoken exclusively about the cancer scares that are killing her. Jade has been the victim of 14 cancer scares over the past few years, since she got famous, and has revealed that doctors say another one could kill her.
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Funny story: Miley Cyrus Dumps Nick Jonas for Lucas Till

Miley Cyrus Dumps Nick Jonas for Lucas Till

Hannah Montanna star Miley Cyrus has started dating her co- star Lucas Till after he gave her a silver "slave" bracelet to ensure that she "belonged exclusively" to him. Lucas, frightened by allegations that Miley is "about as innocent as Madonna...
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Funny story: Rottweilers ate 3 year-old hotels heiress 'is pure invention': lawyers

Rottweilers ate 3 year-old hotels heiress 'is pure invention': lawyers

Los Angeles, Ca - (Total Crap Mess): "Print that rotten, stinking garbage and we'll sue your freakin' ass off!" was the pithy comment from lawyers today who savaged celeb paper LA FagHagSlagMag reports that Paris Hilton is a doppelganger cuckoo in th...
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Funny story: UK Troops Cleared of Drowning Teenage Looter

UK Troops Cleared of Drowning Teenage Looter

Three British soldiers of the Extreme Rendition Rangers Regiment were cleared of murder charges yesterday by a military court in Colchester. The trio stood accused of forcing a teenage Iraqi boy, Ahmad Karheem, an apprentice doormat weaver, into t...
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Funny story: Housewife Barbequed Alive in Faulty Sunbed

Housewife Barbequed Alive in Faulty Sunbed

A tanning parlour owner was sentenced to six week's community service today after a woman was cooked alive while using a defective sunbed. Kostas Gormlessky, an Albanian asylum-seeker, currently residing in Stoke-on-Trent, was convicted at Staffor...
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Funny story: Gordon Brown surprises Troops in Afghanistan

Gordon Brown surprises Troops in Afghanistan

Prime Minister Gordon Brown dropped in on a surprise visit to British Troops in Afghanistan this morning. He had been kicked out of the plane by David Milliband, with a parachute of course, as they flew to the closing ceremony of the Olympics.
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Funny story: Ex- Deputy PM Prescott Hospitalised with Wrecked Rectum

Ex- Deputy PM Prescott Hospitalised with Wrecked Rectum

Deputy Prime Minister John Prescott was rushed to hospital yesterday after suffering a massive fart attack during a heated Parliamentary debate. Doctors at Paddington Bear MRSA Health Care Trust declared Prescott to be in a stable condition after...
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Funny story: Ways to Prevent Silent Electric/Hybrid Cars from Killing the Blind

Ways to Prevent Silent Electric/Hybrid Cars from Killing the Blind

According to AP, "Electric and hybrid vehicles may be better for the environment, but the California Legislature says they're bad for the blind. It has passed a bill to ensure that the vehicles make enough noise to be heard by visually impaired people about to cross a street." I, on the other hand, have my own ideas to accomplish this: 1) Equip the visually-impaired with helmets and rubb...
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Funny story: A Minute's Silence Has Profound Health Benefits

A Minute's Silence Has Profound Health Benefits

The World Health Organisation has today announced that "a minutes silence" does in fact have profound healing properties. The minutes silence, traditionally used for Remembrance Ceremonies to show respect for the dead, has now been adopted for other...
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Funny story: New Easy Peel Oranges A Hit With Kids

New Easy Peel Oranges A Hit With Kids

Following the sudden loss of popularity of the humble orange, due to the fact that it's harder to peel than a tangerine, scientists have been working round the clock to get it back on menu's all over the World. It was discovered that kids today s...
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Funny story: Lord Coe wins gold in Lowering Expectation event

Lord Coe wins gold in Lowering Expectation event

Lord Coe, chairman of the London Olympics has taken gold along with teammate Boris Johnson in the Lowering Expectations event. Through their tireless work at press conferences the world is now convinced that London 2012 will be dull, pedestrian an...
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Funny story: High School Musical stars engaged

High School Musical stars engaged

HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL stars Zac Efron and Vanessa Anne Hudgens have confirmed that they are engaged. The tween icons have been in a relationship for a long while now, and their relationship has definetely increased the popularity of the movie, it's...
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Funny story: Gary Glitter Refused Entry

Gary Glitter Refused Entry

Fallen rock star, Gary Glitter, currently in Thailand, has been told that he will be refused entry in any Country for the foreseeable future. Sadly, he is automatically guaranteed to get into the UK, as he was born here. Happily, he's refusing to...
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Funny story: Pope Benedict XVI Names Three New Saints

Pope Benedict XVI Names Three New Saints

Vatican City-- Pope Benedict named three new saints today in a ceremony at Vatican City. The three are the first new saints of the 21st Century and reflect our modern society. Roman Catholics believe saints are intermediaries between God and man and...
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Funny story: Jesse's 'Rainbow Coalition' Plans To Disrupt Democratic National Convention!

Jesse's 'Rainbow Coalition' Plans To Disrupt Democratic National Convention!

It's the first time since the 1984 Democratic National Convention that the Reverend Jesse Jackson will not be speaking at the Convention (this year in Denver). Somebody forget Jesse? Nah! Said an ardent Barack Obama supporter, "When a brotha calls a fellow brotha a nigger and says he wants to cut off the balls of that other brotha, we shut him down for good!" So, goodbye Jesse and your repulsi...
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Funny story: Bigfoot Find Hoax; Harry and the Hendersons Documentarial Evidence?

Bigfoot Find Hoax; Harry and the Hendersons Documentarial Evidence?

The announcement that the recently discovered Bigfoot remains was nothing more than an elaborate hoax, is reported to have shocked many in the film world, who believed that the ending of the epic film 'Harry and the Henderson's' was based on document...
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Funny story: Lost Kremlin Memoranda Found

Lost Kremlin Memoranda Found

Moscow, August 13, 2008: The Russian Federation has released emails concerning lost KGB memoranda sent to Soviet (USSR) state officials, by a KGB operative. This correspondence sheds some light on Soviet and American intelligence activities in the waning days of the cold war. The translated emails are provided below: [strong]THE FEDERAL SECURITY SERVICE OF THE RUSSIAN FEDERATION (FSB)[/strong...
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Funny story: University to Offer a MORON's Degree

University to Offer a MORON's Degree

Sacramento CA - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that a new Masters Degree program will be initiated at a Californian university beginning with the fall semester. The new program is to reside in the Political Science Department, but also...
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Funny story: Political Fundraising Study Released

Political Fundraising Study Released

New York NY, 21 August, 2008: A joint study concerning the production of fund raising materials by both the Democratic and Republican Party's presidential candidates was released today. The study was sponsored by the New York Times and the New York...
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Funny story: Cancer Diagnosed With Goody

Cancer Diagnosed With Goody

Mumbai - It was announced earlier today that controversial reality figure, Cancer, has been diagnosed with Jade Goody. Publicist, Ford Climax, told reporters that Cancer has had Jade Goody 'up to here', indicating the forehead as the infected area...
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Funny story: Finnigan and Clooney in Knee Op Scam?

Finnigan and Clooney in Knee Op Scam?

Speculation is mounting that glamorous television pensioner, Dame Judy Finnigan, who's absence from the failing 'Richard and Judy Show' was explained by her irritating husband and co-host Richard Madeley as "a simple knee operation", may in reality h...
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Funny story: Rabbi Lionel Blue speaks

Rabbi Lionel Blue speaks

Hello John, Hello Sue, Hello Billy, Hello Bobby, Hello Readers. I was watching the Olympic Games last night and realised that there are three medal positions. I thought to myself, this must be because they are unsure who the winner of an Olympic Game is, so they give three out just, as the Irish would say, to be sure, to be sure, to be sure. The Olympic Games are really great for sport. They...
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Funny story: Jesse Jackson's JFC (Jesse's Fried Chicken) Successfully Sued by KFC

Jesse Jackson's JFC (Jesse's Fried Chicken) Successfully Sued by KFC

After being rebuffed for calling Barack Obama 'a nigger whose nuts should be cut off', Jesse Jackson, once the U.S.'s MegaBlack Leader has had to find another outlet for his giant ego. He's already rich from his Rainbow Coaltion, but getting the 'Dea...
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Funny story: BAAO's Lil Bopeep Announces Airport Fire Sale!

BAAO's Lil Bopeep Announces Airport Fire Sale!

The British Aeronautical Ass Osculation CEO Lily Bopeep has declared the opening of a emergency sale of all British airports. Prospective buyers have been submitting their bids along with details of the creative changes they would make. Eccentr...
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Funny story: Mosques Go to 24 hour Prosrate through Window for Ramadan!

Mosques Go to 24 hour Prosrate through Window for Ramadan!

Mullahs looking for more moolah have conceived (they claim immaculately) of the innovative notion of the all day all night prostrate through prayer window open all month long during the holy month of Ramadan. Hard working Muslims who have not fou...
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Funny story: US Neucular Submarine Houston Takes Leak in Sasebo Harbor, Japan

US Neucular Submarine Houston Takes Leak in Sasebo Harbor, Japan

United States Nuclear Submarine the Houston has a problem. While visiting the western Japanese port city of Sasebo on a diplomatic mission to help the Japanese accept the future presence of the immense nuclear-powered aircraft carrier The George Wash...
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Funny story: Obama Supports Affirmative Action for White Red Necks Through Off-Shore Drilling!

Obama Supports Affirmative Action for White Red Necks Through Off-Shore Drilling!

Barack Obama reversed himself twice in a single policy proposal. Obama has been a firm supporter of the affirmative action policies for minorities that got him his education and a concerned environmentalist who has opposed off-shore drilling. To...
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Funny story: One of the Great Spoofers, A. Solzhenitsyn, Dies The Other Day!

One of the Great Spoofers, A. Solzhenitsyn, Dies The Other Day!

Few spoofers could have done it better! The Nobel Prize winning Russian writer taunts the totalitarian Soviet leaders tirelessly. He uses his wit and genius and Western fame to pluck the beard of the communist dictators in classic novels and brave sp...
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Funny story: Charlie Wilson's War: The Sequel

Charlie Wilson's War: The Sequel

The Mike Nichol's film version of the Texas congressman's descent into alcoholism and lechery and his ascent as the conqueror of the evil empire in Afghanistan has now given rise to a film sequel. The new movie tells the tragic tale of the American d...
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Funny story: Olympiad Puts the Red Back in Red China!

Olympiad Puts the Red Back in Red China!

The western hope that the Olympics would help democratize communist China has proven to be an opium pipe dream. As the Olympic Games have drawn closer and closer, China has become closed-er and closed-er. Repression of Tibet has increased. Silenc...
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Funny story: McCain's "Cuntry First" Slogan Arouses White Working Class Voters

McCain's "Cuntry First" Slogan Arouses White Working Class Voters

Obama has had trouble reaching the white working class voter in both the primary and now the general election campaign. Hillary hit homeruns with that niche group and McCain's advisors seem to have figured out why. Krawl Ovary, a former intern to...
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Funny story: The Pill Prevents HIV Transmission for Some!

The Pill Prevents HIV Transmission for Some!

The good news is that some people will be protected from HIV transmission if the birth control pill is used properly. Experts on HIV transmission expressed outrage at the new report that attributed protective powers to the birth control pill not just...
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Funny story: Many Voters Insist on Identifying as Republicants!

Many Voters Insist on Identifying as Republicants!

Major news sources across the country are reporting that voter registration since 2005 has been dominated by the democrats and the Independents (Independents are defined in TheSpoof.com as people who can't seem to make their member...ship stand). But...
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Funny story: I Dated A Suicide Bomber!

I Dated A Suicide Bomber!

While studying neuroscience at Brandeis University and later at MIT it turns out that I dated a suicide bomber. On a cool October night in New England I stopped off at the MIT library for a late night research session. The neuro section was totally crowded and so I took my books and articles to the nearby self-explosives area of the physics stacks. In a moment of inattention between synapse...
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Funny story: McCain Sends Wife Cindy to Topless Contest for Christ, Country and Campaign!

McCain Sends Wife Cindy to Topless Contest for Christ, Country and Campaign!

John McCain told a motorcyclist's gathering in Sturgis, South Dakota that he told his wife Cindy that:" With a little luck she could be the only woman to serve as first lady and Miss Buffalo Chip!" ESPN recently reported that contestants in the...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton pulling ahead in penis fencing completion for Obama's V.P. pick

Hillary Clinton pulling ahead in penis fencing completion for Obama's V.P. pick

Washington, DC - Topping the short list of political contenders to share in the Democratic Party's Barack Obama Presidential ticket as vice president, Hillary Clinton has surprisingly pulled ahead in the penis fencing competition secretly held behind...
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Funny story: Sex Offenders Grounded Over Health Fears

Sex Offenders Grounded Over Health Fears

London - The British Home Office today announced plans to introduce new laws that will prevent sex offenders from leaving the country, 'willy-nilly'. Home Office spokeswoman, Kitty Fiddler, told reporters that it was imperative that minors living...
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