Hollywood, California - Fulfilling both Disney executive's dreams in her hit role as a America's latest high school sweetheart in High School Musical 2 and simultaneously every teenaged boy and adult male secret sexual fantasy of having a hot...
As scientists have long warned, constant overuse of insecticides and pesticides have finally created a "super fly" that is totally resistant to any attempts to eradicate them.
Cyberspace- (Barefaced Cheek & Ass Mess): A three-dimensional Brazilianed Vanessa Hudgens screensaver that has been downloaded over fifty million times has been likened to a gateway drug by a poll of users.
Harriet Pritchard, a devout Christian Scientist, is still waiting for God to relieve her painful tooth decay. Followers of Christian Science, a religious teaching founded by Mary Baker Eddy in the 19th century, believe that all disorders and illnesse...
Los Angeles, California - Just like deregulation of the utilities, so Enron could capitalize on lack of government oversight without producing anything except a clever underhanded way to turn a quick buck instead of providing a real service people co...
Geordie Dwarfs Ant & Dec were sensationally fired last night after their latest TV stunt dramatically backfired.
A new Harris interactive poll shows that 62% of Americans have no use for polls in their lives.
French Mime, Marcel Marceau passed away last night, his family revealed.
International drugs smuggler Rud Gudd is in custody today after he was caught bringing large quantities of cocaine into Britain. The drug was hidden in the 35 year old Gudd's hair, where it was resembled nothing more than a chronic case of dandru...
Cardiff, Wales - (Sheep Shaggers Mess): The Welsh Sheep Farmers Union has issued a plea for calm today amid a suspected outbreak of Bluetongue virus.
Bellevue, Washington - (Cyberspace Mess): The Bluetooth Special Interest Group is suing the UK's Agriculture Ministry over reported slurs linking it to an outbreak of the mad cow disease-related bluetongue virus.
Controversial plans announced today by the Shadow Home Secretary, the Rt Hon David Davis MP, promised to establish what is being called the world's first "Intelligence Highway" on the motorway from Oxford to London.
Paris, France - (Ass Mess): "There are no words to express my sadness at today's news," was Camille Marceau's website statement following the announcement that her octogenarian mime-artist father Marcel died at home in Paris last ni...
Scientists at M.I.T. and Cal Tech have jointly discovered that The Grinch was a real being and was actually a Roswell type alien. Their five year study unearthed the fact that The Grinch was not really a creation from the mind of Theodore "Dr.
At four am yesterday morning five hundred miles of clear water lay between Ireland and mainland Europe. During the worst Atlantic storm for a century, England Scotland and Wales had sunk beneath the waves.
The Prime Minister's office has announced that Gordon Brown has had his hair cut. The famous fringe that adorned the right part of his forehead has gone, revealing even more head than before.
Beloved bear from Darkest Peru, Paddington Bear says that he was sold out by his creators to further the cause of Satan's recipe, Marmite.
WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) - Healthy American children are 'the enemy' said President George Bush in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire.
Diminutive high-waisted trouser-wearing pop Svengali, Simon Cowell, has stunned TV executives by claiming to be as big as John Lennon.
I can exclusively reveal some of the preparations for the funeral service of the great French mime artist Marcel Marceau.
Londoners awoke to the news that Tory Mayoral candidate Boris Johnson isn't a real person but is a fictional character created by local funny-man Sacha Baron Cohen.
London (Phantom Press) - Our community correspondent has seen a secret document and apparently one Chief Constable is thinking of placing an order for 50,000 'plastic bobbies'.
China, the host of the 2008 Summer Olympics, has announced that they are recalling the Olympic Torch due to some safety concerns.
The Diary owner, who had her most inane thoughts scrutinized, publicised and rejected by Prosecutors in the Case of Disappearing Evidence, has now revealed she has been offered an undisclosed seven point figure for publication rights to what promises...
When Jan Brady said "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia," it was not always to complain about her older sister; sometimes it was pillow talk. Seems "The Brady Bunch" household was not as squeaky clean and wholesome as viewers have been lead to believe over the...
Caracas, Venezuela (IP) - Nelson Mandela was declared dead by President George Bush and his body was sent to the morgue for an autopsy. He woke up during the procedure in terrible pain.
San Bernadino, California (IP) - Ebay corporation spokespersons report that they are in the final phase of negotiation with business, religious, military, and government leaders in their effort to take over the world. It is believed that when we all...
Lima Beanea, Peru (IP) - Scientists studying the Peruvian meteor report that the meteor is curing the diseases of all who approach it. They now know exactly why the miracle cures are so effective.
San Antonio, Texas (IP) - Flip This House star Armando Longwood (his name in English) will flip a house next week on television. He has hired 1,471 husky hombres and two German Shepherds to get the job done. The dogs are there to keep order and enf...
Flagstaff, Arizona (IP) - Scientists have reported that the Grand Canyon is rapidly filling with water and in some areas the water is already more than 100 feet deep.