Funny story: 3-day weekend ruined by discovery that Labor Day is observed in Canada, too

3-day weekend ruined by discovery that Labor Day is observed in Canada, too

Dr. I. Seymour Kuntz, a Seattle gynecologist whose name and profession have made him the butt of endless jokes, now has one more reason to complain.
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Funny story: Hellfire Club dread as Saturn transits Virgo

Hellfire Club dread as Saturn transits Virgo

London - (Ass Mess): A thirty year cycle has come full circle this weekend since the zodiac's taskmaster planet, Saturn, transited Virgo and mobster cabals working for ex-CIA CEO George Herbert Bush tried to stage a military coup d'etat in Lo...
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Funny story: Washington corruption probe swells

Washington corruption probe swells

Washington DC - (Disaster Press): Corruption busting fever is rampaging throughout Capitol Hill this weekend with at least four Republican Senators and six House of Representatives members in the firing line,...
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Funny story: Recent US Govt Study: Technology to solve Global Warming by 2032

Recent US Govt Study: Technology to solve Global Warming by 2032

Technology has saved the day many times in America. Betamax set the video entertainment world free. Satellite reconnaissance kept New Orleans protected from a Hurricane. And now, a recent government study shows that technology will Save the World...
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Funny story: Rocking Horse loses man his fortune

Rocking Horse loses man his fortune

In London, the world's most foolish rich man lost his multi billion pound fortune by betting on a Rocking Horse to win the Grand National, the most important race in the British racing calendar.
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Funny story: Bootsy and Phil Collins - meet through Genes reunited

Bootsy and Phil Collins - meet through Genes reunited

Funkadlic and Parliament star Bootsy Collins has been reunited with a long lost relative, balding British singer and drummer, and prog rock survivor Phil Collins.
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Funny story: Beckham / Iannucci split in the offing?

Beckham / Iannucci split in the offing?

Armando Iannucci, Scotland's favourite funny man, all round cheeky chap and writer / creator of sitcom "Friends", has hit out at David Beckham, footballer, for his poor sense of humour.
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Funny story: Shocking New Circular Argument Against Wi-Fi Killer Rays

Shocking New Circular Argument Against Wi-Fi Killer Rays

A shocking new theory concerning how wireless signals cause damage to people emerged today. Alastair Phillips, chairman of Powerwatch (an organisation dedicated to safeguarding our children from cancer-causing rays) unveiled his discovery during an i...
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Funny story: Hitmail.com launched to cater for gangland niche market

Hitmail.com launched to cater for gangland niche market

Cyberspace - (Ass Mess): A consortium of disorganised crime cartels has launched its own customised email service to cater to the niche market needs of today's modern assassins.
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Funny story: Girl gang force victims to strip and have sex with them

Girl gang force victims to strip and have sex with them

A woods in Manchester is being terrorised by an all-girl gang who attack single men, and force them to strip naked and have sex with them.
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Funny story: Former Thatcher cabinet minister Lord Walker crashes through couple's living room celing

Former Thatcher cabinet minister Lord Walker crashes through couple's living room celing

Flyford Flavell, Worcs - (MadAss Press): "We were just sitting down having a nice cuppa, watching the six o'clock news about all that foot and mouth palaver," 68 year old Mrs Meriel Nutkins said today from her basement flat in the pict...
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Funny story: Arsenal Floored By Diarrhoea Outbreak

Arsenal Floored By Diarrhoea Outbreak

French club Arsenal have confirmed that its squad has been decimated by a rather nasty outbreak of diarrhoea after signing Lassana Diarra from Chelsea.
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Funny story: Taser Guns Go On Sale At Hamleys

Taser Guns Go On Sale At Hamleys

Teenage shoppers who queued for as much as fifteen hours were rewarded this morning when they burst through the doors of a leading toy shop in London to be the first consumers in Britain to be able to buy a T...
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Funny story: NATO archives show Pope Ratzinger is Jackie Onassis's half brother

NATO archives show Pope Ratzinger is Jackie Onassis's half brother

NATO HQ - (ReUterus & Ass Mess): Recently recovered NATO archves show that Pope Joseph Ratzinger's father was Jack "Blackjack" Bouvier, father of Jackie Bouvier Kennedy Onassis and Caroline Lee Bouvier Canfield Radziwill.
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Funny story: Man Vs Wild Star Eaten by Cannibals

Man Vs Wild Star Eaten by Cannibals

Bongo Bongo, Ungawa Mon Bwana (IP) - Man Vs Wild star Bear Grylls was mistaken for a lost comedian while lost in the African jungle and was devoured by cannibals. They cooked him up in a giant black iron pot with recurving edges at the top. Underne...
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Funny story: Bush Administration 'intellectually and morally bankrupt': top UK general

Bush Administration 'intellectually and morally bankrupt': top UK general

London - (Ass Mess): A former UK army chief has said the Bush Administration is "intellectually and morally bankrupt" and has fallen into a massive snake-pit of its own creation.
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Funny story: Judd Nelson/Andrew McCarthy to reunite for Chips

Judd Nelson/Andrew McCarthy to reunite for Chips

Following on news of both Steve Guttenberg's actor return, and Judge Reinhold's attempts to re-ignite his career by playing the boy that became Hitler, news has reached us from the farthest reaches of the wilderness that acting contemporaries...
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Funny story: Bobby D'Afro

Bobby D'Afro

Bobby D'Afro, the newest comedian on the mirthmaker's block has been busy trying to play down any link between himself and 1980's 'funnyman' Bobby Davro.
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Funny story: Indian Village Full of Cobras

Indian Village Full of Cobras

New Delco, Indiantown (IP) - An Indian village at the edge of the Delco mountain range is teeming with Cobras. The Cobras appear out of no where around every twist and turn.
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Funny story: Cherie Blair "furious" after Diana memorial service

Cherie Blair "furious" after Diana memorial service

Cherie Blair, the wife of former American Vice-President Tony Blair, was said to be furious after the memorial service to mark the 10th anniversary of the death of Diana, Princess of Wales.
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Funny story: Man who shits from his nose set to wed

Man who shits from his nose set to wed

It's not often that the news can report on a genuinely uplifting story but this is one of those occasions.
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Funny story: Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have steamy sex in blatant headline grabbing attempt

Paris Hilton and Britney Spears have steamy sex in blatant headline grabbing attempt

Space tourist, Paris Hilton was allegedly caught on camera in a hot and steamy session with baldy babe Britney Spears at George W Bush's robot farm in Texas.
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Funny story: "Shit Happens", say scientists

"Shit Happens", say scientists

It took a team of over one hundred of the worlds greatest scientific minds, and a period of 46 years to reach their final conclusion.
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Funny story: Lindsey Lohan impersonator, Lonely Lindsey, bares breasts at funeral home

Lindsey Lohan impersonator, Lonely Lindsey, bares breasts at funeral home

Popular Lindsey Lohan lookalike, Lonely Lindsey, revealed herself at her naked best at a Santa Barbara funeral parlor on friday.
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Funny story: British General in Iraq calls President Bush a "wanker"

British General in Iraq calls President Bush a "wanker"

In an unexpectedly vehement abusive tirade, General Sir Mike Jackson, who is in charge of all British troops in Iraq, described all politicians involved in the Iraqi War as "wankers".
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Funny story: Card is Politically Incorrect

Card is Politically Incorrect

The new National Ice-cream card comes out today. This is the latest of a string of fresh ideas from National Ice-cream in order to reinstate the image of ice-cream. Holders of the card pay from five pounds a month and in return they can get any ice c...
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Funny story: Pathetic Thief Gets Life

Pathetic Thief Gets Life

A seventy six year old man was sentenced to life imprisonment today for stealing over the period of seventy one years over one and a half million pounds worth of penny sweets.
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Funny story: Hospital beds to be removed

Hospital beds to be removed

In an announcement today the minister of health and trousers Michel Montgomery-Smith, announced that he was announcing that 99% of beds in hospitals were to be removed to compensate for over crowding. He said that "Patients take up too much room...
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Funny story: Problems with the cannibalism system uncovered

Problems with the cannibalism system uncovered

The modern cannibalism system is a mess; it is full of loopholes, and fraught by worries of attacks by vegetarians anonymous, a criminal organisation of people who force people to eat their pets if they do not become vegetarians. But the system is ea...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in nude porn shocker

Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in nude porn shocker

A Democrat insider has told The Spoof today that Hillary Clinton has brokered a deal with fellow candidate, Barack Obama, where she will become President and he will become Vice President.
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Funny story: Big Brother Brian Accused Of Animal Cruelty

Big Brother Brian Accused Of Animal Cruelty

Data entry clerk Brian Belo, last night crowned the King of the Big Brother house after upstaging bookies' favourites, twins Amanda and Sam Marchant, has subsequently walked into a storm of controversy over Animal Cruelty. Black Brian, 20, of Long...
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Funny story: Is using Diana to score points legitimate?

Is using Diana to score points legitimate?

After yet another Diana memorial service doubt has been cast over how legitimate it is to allow footballers to use her to win games.
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Funny story: Paranoia Over 9/11 Recurrence Keeps Airplane Grounded

Paranoia Over 9/11 Recurrence Keeps Airplane Grounded

SAN DIEGO (Duh Newspaper) - Last week a red-eye flight from San Diego to Chicago was postponed after "us" passengers overheard "them" passengers speaking Arabic. American Airlines Flight #590 was originally scheduled to depart Sa...
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Funny story: Mexican lorry operators must speak Queen's English; NY taxi drivers, the state of New Jersey and parts of Massachusetts, still exempt

Mexican lorry operators must speak Queen's English; NY taxi drivers, the state of New Jersey and parts of Massachusetts, still exempt

Harlingen, Texas - The rule, requiring Mexican nationals truck drivers to speak English for highway safety reasons, has been on the books since 1971 and then expanded in 1994 with the passage of NAFTA. However, only now it will be enforced after dela...
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Funny story: Larry Craig was "just jerking off"

Larry Craig was "just jerking off"

Recently resigned Conservative Republican senator Larry Craig said he was "just jerking off" when he was arrested for propositioning an undercover police officer.
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Funny story: Iraqi WMD's found at U.N. building in Manhattan; Bush orders immediate air strike and ground force invasion

Iraqi WMD's found at U.N. building in Manhattan; Bush orders immediate air strike and ground force invasion

New York, New York - The U.N. announced yesterday that it found minute amounts of phosgene, a chemical warfare agent, which causes choking attacking the lungs. The WWI warfare agent was properly contained and appropriately marked a public hazard in i...
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Funny story: Marxist Revolutionary to Make Run for White House in '08

Marxist Revolutionary to Make Run for White House in '08

Che Guevara,Marxist revolutionary and confidant of Cuban President Fidel Castro, announced today that he plans to make a run for the White House in 2008 as an Independent Communist.
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