Funny story: Stan Gelbaugh Announces he will not run for President

Stan Gelbaugh Announces he will not run for President

Oakland, CA (CNN) - 83-year-old homeless man, Stan Gelbaugh, loudly proclaimed today that he will not be running for President. This is the 13th election since he became of legal age to run for President that he has opted not to.
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Funny story: Rex Grossman: "Intercept the Cure"

Rex Grossman: "Intercept the Cure"

Little six year old Ryan O'Conner of Skokie, Illinois spends most of his days hooked up to a series of tubes and machines. He has spent the past seventeen months living in room 221 at Children's Memorial Hospital, staring out the window, suffering silently in indescribable pain.
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Funny story: Musharrif: The Bitch Is Back

Musharrif: The Bitch Is Back

Pakistan (TheSpoof.com)- Exiled Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto returned back to Pakistan after eight years. The former Prime Minister was greeted with cheers from the people and bombs from the government.
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Funny story: Dr Phil's Wife is a Hottie!

Dr Phil's Wife is a Hottie!

Phil McGraw, aka Dr. Phil, has his own popular TV show, writes best selling self-help books, and is married to a hottie. How did he do it? What's his secret?...
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Funny story: President Bush Demands Congressional Medal Returned

President Bush Demands Congressional Medal Returned

This morning during a press conference President Bush, the leader of the most free country in the world, demanded that the Dalai Lama give back the Congressional Medal awarded by Congress on Wednesday.
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Funny story: Bush Floats World War Three Trial Balloon

Bush Floats World War Three Trial Balloon

Washington, D.C. -- During a speech yesterday the President of the United States, George W. Bush, raised the fear factor up a considerable notch by alluding to a possible third world war if Iran were allowed to gain nuclear weapons.
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Funny story: Wales - World Champions of a Sport at Last

Wales - World Champions of a Sport at Last

The rugby shaped void in Welsh School Curriculum's following the Welsh Assembly's decision to ban rugby from Wales has at last been filled with the inventi...
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Funny story: Weird Little Poems #1: TV Dinner

Weird Little Poems #1: TV Dinner

Numb nosed and shout proud, all rowdy and louded in they glided and table-sided us mild dining, romantic hiders.
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Funny story: Alarm at Increase in Crimes for Charity

Alarm at Increase in Crimes for Charity

Public outcry has followed release of new government figures showing a large increase in crimes committed for charity.
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Funny story: Oral Roberts President Lies Low

Oral Roberts President Lies Low

Tulsa, Oklahoma - (Ass Mess): Oral Roberts University president Richard Roberts has told the press he has taken indefinite leave of his senses from his missionary position of fourteen years and has to lie low for a while.
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Funny story: Madonna signs multi-million $$$ deal with The Devil

Madonna signs multi-million $$$ deal with The Devil

Pop superstar Madonna has signed a deal worth millions with his satanic magesty, The Devil. At a press conference in Malawi, the singer announced the details of the deal to the astonished press.
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Funny story: Zachary Quinto to play Captain Kirk's Vulcan gay love interest in Star Trek prequel

Zachary Quinto to play Captain Kirk's Vulcan gay love interest in Star Trek prequel

Hollywood - (Sci-Fi Mess): Tom Cruise-lookalike Zachary Quinto has been cast as a gay young Mr Spock in the Star Trek prequel film featuring Smokin' Aces actor Chris Pine as the firmly-in-the-closet Captain Kirk and Lord of The Rings...
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Funny story: Iran gives up Nukes

Iran gives up Nukes

Iranian President Mahamoud Ahmajinedad announced today that Iran was shutting down its Nuclear Program following an Impassioned letter from President Bush...
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Funny story: Liechtenstein nukes Liverpool: Several nations rejoice

Liechtenstein nukes Liverpool: Several nations rejoice

London, England - In a hitherto unsuspected display of military and technological prowess, the tiny Central European Principality of Liechtenstein this morning launched an ICBM and successfully exploded it over the northern English city of Liverpool.
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Funny story: 'Don't let Iran cause World War Three', pleads George Bush

'Don't let Iran cause World War Three', pleads George Bush

Washington - (AssoCIAted Mess): "....because it's mah God-given right to do that!" the desperate US President begged today.
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Funny story: Men who exercise vigorously more fit than men who don't exercise

Men who exercise vigorously more fit than men who don't exercise

A 12 year, $18 million, government backed study of middle aged men conducted at Tufts University in Medford, MA reveals that men who exercise vigorously up to 3 times per week are more fit than men who spend most of their time sitting in chairs.
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Funny story: Racist gene-discovering Nobel Laureate banned from Museum talk

Racist gene-discovering Nobel Laureate banned from Museum talk

London - (Noballs Mess): London's Unnatural Hystery Museum has banned a world renowned Nobel Laureate from lecturing about genes on Friday because he is a tosser.
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Funny story: London's Westminster City Council to use Giant Street Vacuums to pick up Homeless

London's Westminster City Council to use Giant Street Vacuums to pick up Homeless

LONDON - City of Westminster Council has unveiled a new machine to deal with its growing number of nuisance vagrants, it has to clear up during the night.
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Funny story: Top Ten Results of the Heat Caused by Global Warming

Top Ten Results of the Heat Caused by Global Warming

10. The phrase "go to Hell" is received as a message of hope...
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Funny story: IBM to Outsource 200% of its Workforce

IBM to Outsource 200% of its Workforce

IBM has announced plans to outsource 200% of its workforce to India and China. IBM VP of Human Resources Dinesh Gupta and VP of Worldwide Finance Mai Lai have devised a strategy to reduce costs and provide IBM with a backup of every person in the com...
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Funny story: Giuliani Vows to be America's First Drag Queen President

Giuliani Vows to be America's First Drag Queen President

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Rudy Giuliani vows to be America's first Drag Queen President in an exclusive interview with FMLiveWire.
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Funny story: Health is Bad for You Shocker

Health is Bad for You Shocker

London, Englandshire - A recently leaked government health paper on the obesity problem in the UK is claiming that "obesity is now more harmful than smoking." It concludes that overweight non-smokers are shortening their lifespans by up to...
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Funny story: McClaren To Rely On Jews For Miracle

McClaren To Rely On Jews For Miracle

Steve McClaren, the beleaguered England manager, faces dismissal this morning after a night of shame in Russia that leaves his team needing a miracle to qualify for the Finals of the Euro 2008 championships.
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Funny story: Private Security Organisation Announce Life Insurance Plans

Private Security Organisation Announce Life Insurance Plans

A US private security organisation, at the centre of the ongoing investigation into killing of 17 innocent Iraqi civilians, has announced plans to sell Life Insurance.
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Funny story: Knicks lose heartbreaker to Celtics

Knicks lose heartbreaker to Celtics

The New York Knicks suffered what could be a demoralizing loss last night to the Boston Celtics 101-61.
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Funny story: Heaven's Gate Cult Return From Outerspace

Heaven's Gate Cult Return From Outerspace

Rancho Santa Fe, California - Thirty-eight members of the former 'Heaven's Gate' cult have returned from outerspace after spending the last decade riding a spaceship with Jesus Christ. The cult members had departed Earth in 1997 when
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Funny story: Pelosi: Impeachment Still Off the Table

Pelosi: Impeachment Still Off the Table

Washington D.C. -- Democratic House Speaker, Nancy Pelosi, reiterated that impeachment inquiries of both President Bush and Vice President Dick Cheney were "still off the table" today. The Speaker openly acknowledges the blatant "lawlessness" wi...
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Funny story: Ferry workers use pot regularly

Ferry workers use pot regularly

Ferry workers are getting ready for the hardship of having to hide their pot-smoking from view, after the T.S.B. has made the recommendation that active crewmembers not smoke pot while on the job.
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Funny story: God still punishing them many southerners feel

God still punishing them many southerners feel

The latest drought in the southeast has many southerners wondering why God is still punishing them. Ever since the Civil War, southerners have felt out of favor with their Master.
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Funny story: New Spice Girls Album Only Available At Victoria's Secret

New Spice Girls Album Only Available At Victoria's Secret

Victoria's Secret announced today that it will be the exclusive retailer for the newest Spice Girl's album. The album, which will contain the group's greatest hits plus some new songs, will not be available at any other record store or outlet. Vi...
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Funny story: Dalai Lama Visits Washington, President Bush

Dalai Lama Visits Washington, President Bush

The Dalai Lama paid a state visit to Washington D.C. and the White House today. President and Mrs. Bush greeting him on the South Lawn and held a brief press conference for reporters before going inside for meetings and lunch.
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Funny story: Body Spray Causes Cancer

Body Spray Causes Cancer

SCOTTSBLUFF, NE -- A group of dental tech students at Western Nebraska Community College have accidentally discovered that branded body sprays and body washes cause cancer in laboratory animals.
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Funny story: Hee Haw DVDs Responsible for Slew of Highway Fatalities

Hee Haw DVDs Responsible for Slew of Highway Fatalities

KINGMAN, AZ -- Darlene Quinn is a cashier at the Kingman, Arizona, Love's Truck Stop who is starting to think of herself of a merchant of death. She does, after all, sell beer, cigarettes and the "Hee Haw" DVDs that have caused no less...
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Funny story: Enthusiasm Low for Lars Ulrich Solo Project

Enthusiasm Low for Lars Ulrich Solo Project

SAN FRANCISCO, CA -- Poor Lars Ulrich. Absolutely no one is in the least bit interested in the Metallica drummer's first solo release, a collection of his favorite Danish Christmas carols, tentatively called "Jule," (pronounced You-La)...
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Funny story: Utah Restaurant Declared National Disaster Site

Utah Restaurant Declared National Disaster Site

SALT LAKE CITY, UT -- It seemed like just another typical evening at the Chuck-A-Rama buffet on South State Street. Diners and employees alike had no idea about the magnitude of the carnage about to take place.
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Funny story: Drug Company Develops Drug that makes User want to take More Prescription Drugs

Drug Company Develops Drug that makes User want to take More Prescription Drugs

NEW YORK, NY -- A pharmaceutical giant made an announcement earlier today that will likely change history.
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