Funny story: Iran hostage sends letter home

Iran hostage sends letter home

Tehran Hilton: Dear Ma and Pa, I'm here with some Navy pals enjoying traditional Iranian hospitality after the Sat-Nav went wonky in the Shitt El-Arab. Typical, hey!...
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Funny story: Young Expectant Mothers Looking for a Different Life for their Children, Chow Down on Red Meat

Young Expectant Mothers Looking for a Different Life for their Children, Chow Down on Red Meat

In the wake of scientific studies linking red meat consumption during pregnancy to low sperm count in male offspring, there has been a enormous spike in the red meat intake of unmarried, pregnant women, especially those in their teens.
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Funny story: Betting on a loser: Tessa Jowl goes down the pan

Betting on a loser: Tessa Jowl goes down the pan

Whitehall - (Rotters): It was always a dead cert and now Tessa Jowl's one way ticket to HMP Belmarsh has just come up trumps as the House of Lords threw out her gambling bill and consigned the feckless Mafia gangster's wife to the mercy of An...
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Funny story: Disgruntled father found with holster in capitol

Disgruntled father found with holster in capitol

Washington, D.C.: Authorities detained a suspicious man Tuesday lurking around the White House and discovered a holster for a Mac-10 machine gun under his jacket.
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Funny story: FDA Approves Treatment for March Madness

FDA Approves Treatment for March Madness

Asslete Pharmaceuticals announced today that the U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has approved Vitalecillin® (vitale baldinate) for the treatment of patients with March Madness Disorder...
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Funny story: Local Man Released From Chinese Finger Prison

Local Man Released From Chinese Finger Prison

MARYSTOWN, PA - A local man was released today after serving a one-year sentence in a Chinese finger prison. Reginald Grunger, 32 - a longtime petty theft criminal - was given the unusual sentence after his fifteenth conviction by County Judge Harold...
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Funny story: Iran TV shows female hostage begging for asylum

Iran TV shows female hostage begging for asylum

Tehran - (Ass Press): Iranian TV has shown smiling navy hostage Leading Seaman Faye Turney, 26, begging her captors to accept her as a bona fide asylum seeker who strayed into their territorial waters in a desperate bid to take advantage of their hum...
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Funny story: British Navy surrenders, Lord Nelson spins

British Navy surrenders, Lord Nelson spins

LONDON--Officials in London have confirmed that the corpse of Lord Horatio Nelson in a crypt at St. Paul's cathedral has spun in its grave. Its theorized that Admiral Nelson, the greatest seaman of a once great seafaring nation heard the news fro...
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Funny story: Mayor's ex-CIA spook transport guru Kiley's sobriety fears

Mayor's ex-CIA spook transport guru Kiley's sobriety fears

London - (Assinine Press): The mastermind behind London Mayor Ken Livingstone's congestion charge, former CIA man Bob Kiley, has told a press conference he dreads sobriety and the inevitable day when he finally wakes up to face the monstrosity he...
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Funny story: Anna Nicole's son 'also died of implant failure': coroner

Anna Nicole's son 'also died of implant failure': coroner

Florida - (Ass Mess): Failure to implant enough of J Howard Marshall's legendary $$$$s into Daniel Smith's own bank accounts may have contributed to his early demise according to an inquest probe into Anna Nicole Smith's son's death.
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Funny story: Pope: Trust me, Hell is a real because that's where I'm heading

Pope: Trust me, Hell is a real because that's where I'm heading

Vatican - (ReUterus): Pope Ratzinger has told his weekly audience that he is facing eternal damnation and will be joining the likes of his predecessor Pope JP2, Adolf Hitler, Joseph Stalin, Ronald Reagan "and just about all the members of the Bu...
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Funny story: Bizarre pentagon spotted in Saturn's clouds

Bizarre pentagon spotted in Saturn's clouds

Solar system - (Rotters): The first overwheming proof that the Cosmos has registered its dismay at Earth's global crisis has appeared in a bizarre weather pattern photographed around the ringed planet Saturn, where the Hubble telescope has spotte...
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Funny story: Senate Approves Timetable to Withdraw Bush from White House

Senate Approves Timetable to Withdraw Bush from White House

On March 27th, the Senate voted to impose a timetable on President Bush's remaining days in the White House.
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Funny story: How injured is Frank Lampard?

How injured is Frank Lampard?

It was reported that Frank Lampard would play in the England qualifier despite his sore hand.
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Funny story: WHO(?) agrees HIV circumcision plan

WHO(?) agrees HIV circumcision plan

The World Health Organization and UNAIDS said circumcision should be added to current interventions to reduce the spread of HIV. However, the recommendations only apply to countries where rates of heterosexual transmission is high. Countries breeding...
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Funny story: Kangaroo Courtmartial

Kangaroo Courtmartial

Gulag Guantánamo Bay - Today Australian David Hicks was forced to plead guilty to a charge, to be filled in later by American Military tribunal. General Ivan Stalinson said: "Them Aussies may have kangaroos, but we got the kangaroo courts and t...
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Funny story: McCain Initiates Pander Patrol

McCain Initiates Pander Patrol

ATLANTA, GEORGIA - John McCain's campaign announced this morning that the presidential hopeful will park the Straight Talk Express bus and begin a special month-long campaign blitz to be called The Pander Patrol.
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Funny story: Iran Votes on Timetable to Release British Sailors

Iran Votes on Timetable to Release British Sailors

Mainstream conservative and Pragmatist factions in Iran have passed a joint bill today, requiring a timetable for the release of British sailors, in direct defiance of President Ahmadinejad.
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Funny story: Frank Lampard Can't Kick a Ball Due to Sore Hand, "How Convenient" Says Gerrard.

Frank Lampard Can't Kick a Ball Due to Sore Hand, "How Convenient" Says Gerrard.

Frank Lampard, who hasn't scored a goal for England since 2005, is out of the England squad... due to a sore hand.
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Funny story: Windows Vista - May Explode, Cause of Most Evil on Earth

Windows Vista - May Explode, Cause of Most Evil on Earth

Ipods 'safely' ejected by Windows Vista may in fact be damaged by the program - take that Mac!...
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Funny story: Windows Vista - Doesn't Tolerate Minority Groups.

Windows Vista - Doesn't Tolerate Minority Groups.

Almost everyone has heard about problems with Windows Vista not allowing programs to run and rendering some peripherals completely useless. However, the new built-in security has a far more sinister side.
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Funny story: Chinese Table Tennis Latest

Chinese Table Tennis Latest

There was real excitement last night at the 2007 Chinese National Table Tennis Championships in Beijing, in front of a sell-out crowd.
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Funny story: Britain/Iran Nitpicking Row Escalates To Serious Level

Britain/Iran Nitpicking Row Escalates To Serious Level

The 15 Royal Navy personnel captured by Iranian pirates last week look like being inducted into the crew of the ship that they are being held hostage on.
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Funny story: Prince William and the Curvy Cutie

Prince William and the Curvy Cutie

SEXY dancer Amy Priory told of the moment her friends told her that even though he was in a different room she might have been groped by the right and proper and not gay in any way unelected heir to the British throne, Prince William...
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Funny story: Chelsea Keeper Should Have Been Partying Six Book Pipe-Smoking Disgrace

Chelsea Keeper Should Have Been Partying Six Book Pipe-Smoking Disgrace

Chelsea keeper Petr Cech was caught holding a book club meeting with six books in a hotel after losing to Germany in the Euro qualifiers. Cech, and four other players from the Czech national squad are guilty of smuggling
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Funny story: The Unofficial (but VERY informative) Guide to Using Commercial Airliners in India

The Unofficial (but VERY informative) Guide to Using Commercial Airliners in India

*crackle* *hiss* *beep* "Good afternoon. This is your captain speaking. Welcome aboard flight A-616.
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Funny story: 411 Remembered In European Town

411 Remembered In European Town

POTSDORF, BAVARIA-(EUROGHETTO TIEMPO) Deep in the mountains of Bavaria in the tiny town of Potsdorf, with a population 20,000, preparations for next months 411 Memorial Festival are underway.
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Funny story: Republicans will not cap troop deaths.

Republicans will not cap troop deaths.

Washington DC - It appears that even though most Republicans in the United States Senate have tried to keep the troops dying in Iraq; there now is a risk that a timetable for withdrawal would limit the number of lower class soldiers dying in Iraq. B...
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Funny story: Burger King Will Slaughter With Greater Humanity!

Burger King Will Slaughter With Greater Humanity!

The Burger King of Humane Slaughter is the title sought after by multi-billion dollar international fast food giant Burger King!"No more choking or bashing of animals over the heads with clubs! When we murder, we will murder humanely! Anesthesia...
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Funny story: Missing Gospel from New Testament Found

Missing Gospel from New Testament Found

Archaeologists digging through the recently discovered Tomb of Jesus have uncovered the missing "Gospel According to Fred". The missing Gospel will be included in some versions of the New`Testament joining with the Gospels of John, Luke, M...
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Funny story: International Sports Writers Guild Rejects British United League of Literature (BULL)

International Sports Writers Guild Rejects British United League of Literature (BULL)

Sports writers and sports readers the world over have often been interested in British sports if only for the mystery of awfully unmanly men so deeply involved in athletics. The problem arises when these reader-writers try to decipher the sport artic...
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Funny story: Donatella Versace's 20-Year-Old Daughter, Allegra, Is Battling Anorexia, Fashion Designer Says

Donatella Versace's 20-Year-Old Daughter, Allegra, Is Battling Anorexia, Fashion Designer Says

NEW YORK (Emaciated Press) -- Donatella Versace's 20-year-old daughter, Allegra, is undergoing treatment for anorexia, the fashion designer said Tuesday.
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Funny story: Mini-Star Minivan Mini-Mejicanos!

Mini-Star Minivan Mini-Mejicanos!

Singer-actress (my ass!) Jessica Simpson, smiles(grimacing) as she arrives at (is dragged to) the Elim orphanage in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, just across the border from Laredo, Texas, Sunday March 25, 2007. Simpson arrived in a white 2007 Chrysler mini...
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Funny story: StallWall.Scrawl: The March edition

StallWall.Scrawl: The March edition

Bathroom wall graffiti blown in sent from every corner of the globe during the blustery month of March:...
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Funny story: New Suspects In Woolmer Case

New Suspects In Woolmer Case

Jamaican Deputy Police Commissioner, Mark Shields, is understood to be viewing new videotape evidence that he hopes will establish the identity of the suspects in the Bob Woolmer case.
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Funny story: Edwards Campaign to Involve Dying Wife

Edwards Campaign to Involve Dying Wife

Senator John Edwards announced that his wife is dying of incurable bone cancer that was thought to be in remission. In an interview televised on Sixty Minutes, he told Katie Couric that he will stay on the campaign trail and not drop out of the race...
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Funny story: Accidental Drug Overdose Killed Anna Nicole

Accidental Drug Overdose Killed Anna Nicole

Coroners have determined that the cause of death in the Anna Nicole Smith case was an accidental overdose of drugs. It appears, according to a statement released today, that Ms. Smith accidentally took the following in an attempt to treat an alleged...
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Funny story: Harry Potter Stars Signed Thru Seventh Movie

Harry Potter Stars Signed Thru Seventh Movie

Warner Brothers announced today that the stars of the Harry Potter movies have been signed to star thru the completion of the seventh film. The actors who play Harry, Hermione, and Ron are now contractually obligated to appear in the next three film...
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Funny story: Jagger livid at UK reports naming girlfriend L'Wren as transexual Al Gore shagger

Jagger livid at UK reports naming girlfriend L'Wren as transexual Al Gore shagger

Ronnie Snots Club, Soho - (Ass Mess): A humunguous fistfuck broke out at the Ronnie Snots jazz club last night after a couple of Brazilian sax players overdid the tequila slammers and crystal meth combo, accusing Mick Jagger's girlfriend L'Wr...
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