Funny story: Wal-Mart Abandons Bank Plans

Wal-Mart Abandons Bank Plans

BENTONVILLE, ARK -- Wal-Mart, the universe's biggest retailer, with over $703,409 gazillion in sales last quarter, has abandoned plans to enter the banking business. The move comes after a Republican lawmaker released an email showing that the r...
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Funny story: Bush Proposes New Plan to Win War On Terrorism: Convert America To Islam

Bush Proposes New Plan to Win War On Terrorism: Convert America To Islam

In a special address to America carried on television last night, President Bush called on all Americans to convert to Islam as a way to end the War on Terror.
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Funny story: Rolf Harris to unveil topless Pope portrait

Rolf Harris to unveil topless Pope portrait

Sydney - (Ass Press): Australian entertainer and royal portrait artist Rolf Harris is to unveil his latest celebrity painting of the topless reclining figure of Pope Joseph Ratzinger relaxing in the Vatican's private hot tub.
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Funny story: Toying with Iraq War Strategy

Toying with Iraq War Strategy

BAGDAD -- It began simply enough. Children across the country started drives to collect Silly String to ship to troops in Iraq after learning it could be used to detect booby traps. Then, slowly but inexorably, things began spiraling out of contro...
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Funny story: Bush to pardon Naomi, hire her as Shia Law stoning instructor

Bush to pardon Naomi, hire her as Shia Law stoning instructor

New York - (Ass Press): Naomi Campbell has personally petitioned President Bush for a full pardon ahead of her cruel and unusual sentence of working as a scrubber for the New York Sanitation Department starting on Monday.
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Funny story: Did Moses free ALL our Jewish cousins from bondage?

Did Moses free ALL our Jewish cousins from bondage?

Ball gag Israeli Ambassador to El Salvador, Tsuriel Raphael has surprisingly been recalled to Israel after being discovered wearing his birthday suit, whilst being drunk as a skunk.
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Funny story: New Book By Distinguished British Historian Proves Jimmy Carter Was KGB Mole

New Book By Distinguished British Historian Proves Jimmy Carter Was KGB Mole

In a book to be released today, Distinguished British Historian Hugh Trevor Jones-Smith argues that Jimmy Carter was a KGB Mole.
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Funny story: Mothers Day Strike Action Planned

Mothers Day Strike Action Planned

Mothers all over the country will go on strike from midnight tonight, in a bid for more recognition.
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Funny story: Paddy Waggon for Saint Fat Rick

Paddy Waggon for Saint Fat Rick

A man Identifying himself as St. Fat-Rick was taken into custody following the St Patricks Day Parade in New York City Saturday.
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Funny story: Whore on Terra protest Christians thrown into lying den

Whore on Terra protest Christians thrown into lying den

Washington DC - (Ass Press): Thousands of evangelical Christians whose slavish support for George W Bush's global Whore on Terra campaign culminated in riot and mayhem last night were arrested outside Washington National Cathedral.
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Funny story: "Sinbad Dead" Errs Wikipedia

"Sinbad Dead" Errs Wikipedia

CYBERSPASE -- Wikipedia, the online encyclopedia, recently reported, prematurely as it turns out, the death of comedic actor Sinbad. The mistake was discovered and corrected in less than an hour, with Sinbad's page temporarily "protected f...
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Funny story: Harvard Board of Overseers to Donate University's $29.2 Billion Endowment to Charity.

Harvard Board of Overseers to Donate University's $29.2 Billion Endowment to Charity.

At a press conference in Cambridge Massachusetts the Harvard Board of Overseers announced that it had voted to donate the University's $29.2 Billion endowment to charity.
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Funny story: Dixie Chicks Announce "Triumph of the Chicks Tour"

Dixie Chicks Announce "Triumph of the Chicks Tour"

To a hushed crowd of street people gathered at the foot of the equestrian statue of George Washington, in Union Square, New York City, the Dixie Chicks announced their "Triumph of the Chicks Tour."...
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Funny story: Sinbad dies - returns as flesh eating zombie

Sinbad dies - returns as flesh eating zombie

'Houseguest' and 'Jingle All The Way' star Sinbad (real name David Adkins), who died on stage last week during his stand-up comedy act, has returned as a flesh-eating zombie. News of his death, leaked on Wednesday, appeared briefly on...
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Funny story: Bush begging Bauer banter backfires badly

Bush begging Bauer banter backfires badly

In a shocking and unplanned press conference, President Bush begged for Jack Bauer to come out of hiding and help his country in its hour of need. "We need you Jack" the President said.
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Funny story: Fame Academy Title Goes To Talentless Tara

Fame Academy Title Goes To Talentless Tara

There was shock last night at the Comic Relief Does Fame Academy studio as Para Talmer Pomkinson took the title in, what can only be described as, Charitable circumstances.
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Funny story: Sony Playstation 3 British Release Postponed

Sony Playstation 3 British Release Postponed

As games officianados ticked the final few days off their calendars before the release of the SONY PS3, the company has some bad news for its British customers.
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Funny story: Jack vs Makers The Long War

Jack vs Makers The Long War

Drip, drip, drip went the incessant sound that accompanied the seeping, sodden, matter leaking from Mr. Jack Daniels ceiling.
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Funny story: Plame Was Undercover Agent Reveals Witness at Waxman Hearings

Plame Was Undercover Agent Reveals Witness at Waxman Hearings

A bombshell was dropped by a surprise witness at the Waxman hearings this afternoon concerning the undercover status of CIA agent Valerie Plame. Speaking with his head covered by a brown paper bag, the anonymous CIA agent testified that he had direct...
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Funny story: Frank Lampard to Juventus, Wayne Rooney to Barcelona, Jose Mourinho to Real Madrid, Steven Gerrard to the moon.

Frank Lampard to Juventus, Wayne Rooney to Barcelona, Jose Mourinho to Real Madrid, Steven Gerrard to the moon.

Rumours are flying today, that a number of English Football's biggest names will soon be plying their trade elsewhere. Several sources are reporting that Frank Lampard, Wayne Rooney and Jose Mourinho will all be involved in big money moves to It...
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Funny story: Discovery of Caves on Mars Leads Scientists to Obvious Conclusion... Martian Bears.

Discovery of Caves on Mars Leads Scientists to Obvious Conclusion... Martian Bears.

Seven 'cave entrances' have been discovered on the surface of Mars by NASA's Odyssey space craft. The caves have excited the Scientific Community, who are very easily excited.
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Funny story: Yogi Berra Named Iraqi President!

Yogi Berra Named Iraqi President!

Yankee great Yogi Berra has been named Iraq's new President. Bush declared: "This bear and his little buddy showed great ingenuity in all of their adventures, there isn't that much difference between a park rangers and terrorists and pic...
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Funny story: Donald Trump Plans Times Square Parade for Son's Birthday

Donald Trump Plans Times Square Parade for Son's Birthday

Barron William Trump will celebrate his first birthday in style -- with a parade, as well as burgers and ice cream sundaes for a few family members and friends at the Hard Rock Café.
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Funny story: Laura Bush Dons White Glove! George's Ratings Plummet!

Laura Bush Dons White Glove! George's Ratings Plummet!

The white glove test has always been the lady of the house's way to check on the dusting. The First Lady of the White House appears to be no different! After examining the furniture throughout the Presidential Palace, Laura found George's dus...
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Funny story: Plame Gate simmers

Plame Gate simmers

WASHINGTON DC - In Congressional hearings on the CIA leak investigation, Virginia Congressman Tom Davis illustrated just what is wrong with those associated with the Republican Party. His line of inquiry directed at the honorable Mrs. Valerie Plame...
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Funny story: Tennessee preacher arrested for bashing the bishop

Tennessee preacher arrested for bashing the bishop

Reverend Willie Jefferson, pastor of Trinity Tabernacle Church of God and Christ in Knoxville, Tennesee has a picture of Jesus tattooed on the end of his knob. He claims it's his unique way of delivering his message to the faithful that "Jes...
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Funny story: Immoral, Pace to military.

Immoral, Pace to military.

Washington DC - This week General Peter Pace, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, in keeping line with his commander-in-chief has offended as many people as one person could in the shortest amount of time. General Pace called lesbian, gay and bis...
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