Funny story: Bush Restarts Cold War With European Missile Shield

Bush Restarts Cold War With European Missile Shield

PRAGUE (FMLiveWire) -- President Bush told Russian President Vladmir Putin on Tuesday that Russia "has everything to fear" from a US missile defense system in Europe since, "I am restarting the Cold War to save the dying US economy.&qu...
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Funny story: Cash-for-honors: cops to arrest ex-BP's Lord Browne

Cash-for-honors: cops to arrest ex-BP's Lord Browne

London - (Ass Mess): Disgraced former CEO of BP Lord Browne is to be questioned by the cash-for-honors police according to reports which state that the Crown Prosecution Service wants him 'nailed as soon as possible'.
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Funny story: The End of Minimum Wage

The End of Minimum Wage

Monday was a day of mass chaos throughout the US amidst a massive fast-food worker walk-out organized by a YouTube contributor.
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Funny story: Landslide destroys Russian geezer's valet

Landslide destroys Russian geezer's valet

Kamchatka Peninsula, Russian Federation - (Ass Mess): A huge landslide has been reported as having destroyed a top-notch Russian geezer's valet.
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Funny story: Prescott suffering from paranoia

Prescott suffering from paranoia

Whitehall - (Ass Mess): UK Deputy Prime Monster John Prescott is suffering from paranoia and will remain hospitalised for the forseeable future according to a statement from his orifice. The 69-year-old has been moved to a high-dependency delusi...
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Funny story: London 2012 Oylmpic swastika 'responsible for seizures'

London 2012 Oylmpic swastika 'responsible for seizures'

London - (Ass Mess): Hundreds of people have telephoned NHS Direct saying they had fits and seizures after seeing the new-style Olympic swastika for the London 2012 Games.
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Funny story: William and Harry deeply distressed over photos

William and Harry deeply distressed over photos

Channel 4 have confirmed that they will be showing photographs of Princess Diana's death, but that is of little interest to her sons, Their Royal Highnesses William and Harry.
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Funny story: The changing face of snooker

The changing face of snooker

Many comments were made this year and in recent years about the World Snooker Championship being dull. We've had some great games, but still the punters complain.
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Funny story: Bookface man sues Facebook for copyright infringement

Bookface man sues Facebook for copyright infringement

A man from East Sussex, UK, is suing social networking internet giant Facebook for copyright infringement after claiming that the company had stolen the web-based 'social unity' concept from his own life. Tim Weiny, 62, has been wearing a bo...
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Funny story: Ecstasy, Hugs and the War on Drugs

Ecstasy, Hugs and the War on Drugs

The US Supreme Court surprised the Bush Administration by declaring every day National Free Hug Day. The long awaited decision comes in the heels a controversial joint study by the CDC and
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Funny story: Scooter Libby pleads to join Paris in Lynwood

Scooter Libby pleads to join Paris in Lynwood

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Perjuring, lying Bush Administration toerag Scooter Libby has asked US District Judge Reggie B Walton if he can serve his 30 months jail sentence 'in the same cell as Paris Hilton'.
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Funny story: Queen of Farts

Queen of Farts

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth's entourage has some people with very unusual jobs. None more so that the Queen's official pardoner. His (or her) role on formal state occasions is to stand up and admit blame for any audible flatu...
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Funny story: Sen Clinton: God knows how I got through marital strife

Sen Clinton: God knows how I got through marital strife

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): In a rare public debate abput her husband Bill's fidelity Hillary Clinton has said Monday that she "probably would have got through her marital troubles without bringing God into it."...
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Funny story: Tinned fish giants produces Tuna-friendly dolphin

Tinned fish giants produces Tuna-friendly dolphin

Tinned fish giants have today announced their intention to start producing a range of tinned dolphin products which will all carry the label 'tuna friendly'.
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Funny story: Tennis: Henin sails past Serena

Tennis: Henin sails past Serena

BBC Sport, France, Tuesday 6th June - In a repeat of the classic of 2003, Justine Henin was due to meet Serena Williams on the clay at Roland Garros, in a highly anticipated Ladies Quarter Final.
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Funny story: Paris Hilton's Jail Survival Guide or The Celbutantes Guide To Having A Good Time While Doing Time

Paris Hilton's Jail Survival Guide or The Celbutantes Guide To Having A Good Time While Doing Time

(New York-NY) I'm not going to fabricate a phony news story about Linwood Prisoner 9818783, Paris Hilton, or as I'd like to call her…mine, at least for an internet sex-capade. Trust me, at my age it would be a very short sex-capade, followed by a funereal, which I'd like Paris to attend, dressed of course as Jackie Kennedy at JFK's funereal. Hey, a guy can dream can't he?...
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Funny story: Diana to be exhumed in Kate Middleton ££££s compensation lawsuit

Diana to be exhumed in Kate Middleton ££££s compensation lawsuit

London - (Ass mess): The late Diana, Princess of Wales is to be exhumed and her DNA tested against the Pretender to the Throne's two alleged sons William and Harry.
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Funny story: America Facing Shortage of Drunken Ho Starlets

America Facing Shortage of Drunken Ho Starlets

America's Minister for Debauchery and Lewdness, Ronald P. Wilcox, announced today that the country is facing a shortage of drunken ho starlets.
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Funny story: Brown Pledges Millions for Muslim Clown School

Brown Pledges Millions for Muslim Clown School

BRADFORD, UK - 05/06/07. In another gesture of celebrating diversity, Prime Minister in Waiting, Gordon Brown today pledged £5 million to create the UK's first Muslim Clown School.
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Funny story: 1000 Year Old Monk Found Alive and Well

1000 Year Old Monk Found Alive and Well

A family holiday in the west of Ireland turned into a story of amazement as two children found a 1000 year old Benedictine monk alive and well and pottering around a ruined abbey.
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Funny story: "Britain Day & More Bank Holidays Needed" Says Ruth Kelly

"Britain Day & More Bank Holidays Needed" Says Ruth Kelly

Useless government minister Ruth Kelly has called for some more Bank Holidays to be added to the list of other public holidays already washed out by Britain's inclement weather. She has proposed that one of them...
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Funny story: Woman Thrown Out of Jail Trying to Sneak Paris Hilton Pictures

Woman Thrown Out of Jail Trying to Sneak Paris Hilton Pictures

Lynwood Calif. A female paparazzi was thrown out of the, Century Regional Detention Facility, now known as, "THE PARIS HILTON", today when it was discovered she was an imposter posing as a prisoner that was suppose to serve 30 days.
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Funny story: Blair joins old pals Bush and Putin for G8 Booze up.

Blair joins old pals Bush and Putin for G8 Booze up.

LONDON (AssPressed) - Tony Blair heads to Germany this week for his last G8 summit as prime minister, hoping to secure greater commitment from big bad Vlad, the Russian Premier.
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Funny story: $500,000.00 Bounty for First Paris Hilton Jail Pictures

$500,000.00 Bounty for First Paris Hilton Jail Pictures

The National Enquirer, Globe and various other tabloid newspapers have put out a bounty for the first Paris Hilton jail pictures. The paparazzi are drooling all over themselves trying to figure out a way to dig their claws into the "money shot&q...
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Funny story: Euro raw toast mountain, following raw toast recall.

Euro raw toast mountain, following raw toast recall.

Europe AssPress -: Calls for something to be done about the increasing amounts of raw toast have reached the highest levels of the European Parliament following revelations that many of the major chain store supermarkets have...
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Funny story: London Olympic Logo Explained, Public Agrees

London Olympic Logo Explained, Public Agrees

The designers behind the much derided logo for the 2012 London Olympics have finally come up with a feasible explanation for the monstrosity, much to the public's relief.
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Funny story: Cubans complain of noise from Guantanamo Bay

Cubans complain of noise from Guantanamo Bay

Residents at a Cuban housing estate near the U.S. Guantanamo Bay have signed a petition complaining of noise from the US detention centre.
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Funny story: Wolfowitz proclaims Deathstar will go operational in one week

Wolfowitz proclaims Deathstar will go operational in one week

World Bank Headquarters (Washington Post) - In a surprise move timed to coincide with a rare overseas trip by President Bush, outgoing World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz announced that his Deathstar will be fully functional in exactly one week. Wol...
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Funny story: Pronger beheads Duck and Senator; suspended additional game-and-a-half for misconduct

Pronger beheads Duck and Senator; suspended additional game-and-a-half for misconduct

OTTAWA (Citizen Staff Writer) - In a scene straight out of an Al-Qaeda recruiting video, previously suspended Chris Pronger came off the bench to separate two players' heads from their bodies in Game 4 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
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Funny story: GOP Recruits 123 New Actor-Politicians

GOP Recruits 123 New Actor-Politicians

Hollywood, California - Responding to lucrative recruitment offers by Republican operatives, recent graduates of America's top acting schools, as well as veteran celebrity actors and actresses, have been signing up, in droves, as...
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Funny story: Ron Paul Wins Democratic Debate

Ron Paul Wins Democratic Debate

Ron Paul pulled off a surprise victory in the debate between Democratic presidential candidates on June 3rd in New Hampshire.
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Funny story: Retailer K-Mart to Change Name

Retailer K-Mart to Change Name

Outraged bargain shoppers throughout the United States have joined together in a boycott of retail chain K-Mart, following a decision by the corporation's board of directors to change the name of the store to "KKK-Mart."...
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Funny story: Waffen SS sues London Olympics Commitee

Waffen SS sues London Olympics Commitee

In London today, remaining members of the Waffen SS sued the 2012 London Olympics committee for copyright infringement.
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24
11th
47
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37
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50
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45
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56
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34
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41
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54
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