Funny story: Paris Hilton anorexia fears

Paris Hilton anorexia fears

Lynwood Jail - (Ass Mess): Untreated bulimic Paris Hilton is said to be under 24/7 observation once again at Lynwood Jail after raising anorexia fears.
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Funny story: Queen returns all her bras and knickers to MBE-spurning lingerie retailer

Queen returns all her bras and knickers to MBE-spurning lingerie retailer

Buckingham Palace - (Ass Mess): The Queen has said "Knickers!" to Joseph Corre, the Agent Provocatuer lingerie retailer who snubbed a MBE gong in the Birthday Honors.
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Funny story: Experimental preschool creating near geniuses

Experimental preschool creating near geniuses

The experimental preschool Head First uses the latest research in neurobiology, cognitive science, and learning theory to accelerate the development of children in its care.
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Funny story: Aishwarya Rai asked to promote new vibrating condom

Aishwarya Rai asked to promote new vibrating condom

Madhya Pradesh, India - (Ass Mess): Bollywood superstar Aishwarya Rai has been asked to help promote a new vibrating condom as part of the Asian International Safe Sex campaign launched today.
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Funny story: Ryan Sidebottom axed due to pirate claims

Ryan Sidebottom axed due to pirate claims

England new boy Ryan Sidebottom has been axed from all forms of international cricket due to claims that he is a pirate...
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Funny story: Crimewatch Nick Ross Axed In Cold Blood At 59

Crimewatch Nick Ross Axed In Cold Blood At 59

Crimewatch presenter Nick Ross, 59, has been cruelly axed in cold blood after 23 years running the show. The show has helped to solve dozens of axe murders and many other serious axe crimes during its history.
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Funny story: Sopranos Season Finale - A Masterpiece

Sopranos Season Finale - A Masterpiece

Even 4 days after the season finale of the hit HBO drama, The Sopranos, the world seems to still be speculating about what David Chase, formerly known as David DeCesare, was thinking. This morning in a press conference, Chase, the brilliant writer o...
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Funny story: Half chicken Half cow

Half chicken Half cow

Last week, our reporter Dolph Harris went to the sleepy town of Catshite in Liverpool to find out whether or not the strange sightings of an apparent 2 ton black and white spotted chicken grazing in some fat blokes shed was real.
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Funny story: Goldman Sucks says Tower Hamlets

Goldman Sucks says Tower Hamlets

London - (Ass Mess): Tower Hamlets Council has told a megabux rich US investment bank Goldman Sachs where to stick its £2 million offer to build a City Academy in its borough.
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Funny story: Anna Nicole Smith's baby disinherited

Anna Nicole Smith's baby disinherited

Los Angeles - (Ass Mess): It's enough to make Judge Larry Seidlin weep with remorse: Anna Nicole Smith's baby daughter Dannielynn Marshall Birkhead appears to have been deliberately disinherited from her late mother's will according to d...
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Funny story: Man Eats Basketball For NBA Final Game 6

Man Eats Basketball For NBA Final Game 6

Topeka KS: James Stein loves basketball. The team does not matter, just watching basketball is what he lives for. With the NBS finals, the thrill is just as intense as any major sport finale. To show his devotion, and yes, addiction to basketball, Ja...
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Funny story: Women Gives Birth To Alligator. Ends Up In Coma

Women Gives Birth To Alligator. Ends Up In Coma

Topeka KS: Helen Nickerson was excited about the birth of her new baby. She and her husband Todd Nickerson have tried for years to have a baby with no luck. The help of a fertility clinic allowed their dreams to come true.
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Funny story: Husband and Wife Of 20 Years Discover They Are Brother And Sister

Husband and Wife Of 20 Years Discover They Are Brother And Sister

Spokane WA: Bill and Millie Roth, married 20 years discovered today that they share the same father. The Roth's were having DNA tests to discover who was more compatible for their 18 year old son who needed a kidney transplant. The DNA results, w...
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Funny story: Ousted Crimebotch anchorman Nick Ross is Dando murder suspect

Ousted Crimebotch anchorman Nick Ross is Dando murder suspect

London - (Rotters): Crimebotch anchorman Nick Ross has emerged as a top suspect in the April 1999 murder of colleague Jill Dando.
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Funny story: Raptor Dogs the new Pit Bulls, but with half the mess

Raptor Dogs the new Pit Bulls, but with half the mess

Laguna Negra, Brazil A heretofore unknown Brazilian dog trainer has created a new protection dog which is taking the dog world by storm according to reports in the Journal Of Canine Hermeneutics. The trainer, Peinhador Luzad...
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Funny story: Bank says Nazi eagle emblem is secret of business success

Bank says Nazi eagle emblem is secret of business success

London - (Ass Mess): Barclays Bank has admitted that the secret of its staggering business success is its Nazi-style eagle logo which has helped it earn massive profits in the European Union due to the Third Reich symbology.
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Funny story: Agent Provocateur rejects birthday honors gong

Agent Provocateur rejects birthday honors gong

London - (Ass mess): An undercover UK secret agent codenamed Agent Provocateur has rejected an MBE from Old Fatty Mountbatten on conscience grounds after telling MI6 head Jonathan Evans that Tony Blair is morally corrupt and...
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Funny story: Bloomberg's Withdrawl Leaves Republicans With No Satisfaction

Bloomberg's Withdrawl Leaves Republicans With No Satisfaction

New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg withdrew from the Republican Party yesterday causing the unsatisfied Party to slam its palm on the headboard, fumble in the nightstand for batteries, and disappear into the bathroom.
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Funny story: Crimewatch Nick Ross Quits Show In Mysterious Circumstances

Crimewatch Nick Ross Quits Show In Mysterious Circumstances

Nick Ross, the presenter of BBC's Crimewatch for the last 40 years, has quit the show, saying he feels 'sidelined' by younger staff.
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Funny story: Carter Attacks US

Carter Attacks US

Former American, peanut farmer Jimmy Carter has slammed the Bush administration for their "wanton" interference with the Iranian nuclear programme.
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Funny story: The Spoof! To Offer One Rotten Egg To One Star Writers

The Spoof! To Offer One Rotten Egg To One Star Writers

One writer, who won't tell us his name (he's crying in the corner), was given one star for his first satire for The Spoof! We tried to explain that it's just a joke, but he claims the star was not a try-better-next-time gesture but a grade of complete utter failure. Admittedly, we don't know what the intent was behind the one-star reviewer. Personally, we like to read the one-st...
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Funny story: Muslim Council Slams No Smoking Law

Muslim Council Slams No Smoking Law

The Muslim Council of Edgware Road is enraged at the Government's smoking ban which they say will harm business for the many ethnic cafes in the "Beirut" area of London's West End.
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Funny story: All We Need is War

All We Need is War

(The following document was discovered at the headquarters of Halliburton, recently relocated to Saudi Arabia)...
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Funny story: California to Deport Cigarette Smokers

California to Deport Cigarette Smokers

Unable to effectively police its borders to keep out illegal immigrants, and facing popular backlash for trying to do so, the state of California announced today that it was turning its attention to a group that has no defenders and is easy to identi...
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Funny story: Big Brother: French Trip Planned

Big Brother: French Trip Planned

Channel 4 bosses have unveiled a novel plan to send the Big Brother housemates on a holiday to France as part of the show, which is currently boring viewers to death.
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Funny story: Baker Balks at Bureau's Ban

Baker Balks at Bureau's Ban

BOSTON (Daily Bread) - Bostonian baker Betty Botter's beleaguered Beantown blues belie bleak blight brought about by blaspheming bureaucrats bent on blocking Botter's brilliant batter base.
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Funny story: Cruise or Travolta - Who Will Become New 'God' of Scientology

Cruise or Travolta - Who Will Become New 'God' of Scientology

Lalaland (Toilet Times) - PayPerView Enterprizes has unveiled the most spectacular event ever to buzz the not-free airways. You too can pony up the bucks to see this monumental moneymaking miracle. In a no holds barred, knock-down, d...
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Funny story: USA Helps Israel Steal Land By Dividing Palestinians

USA Helps Israel Steal Land By Dividing Palestinians

WASHINGTON (FMLiveWire) -- Former US President Jimmy Carter said the USA, Israel and the European Union are dividing and oppressing the Palestinian people by reopening aid to the new Fatah government in the West Bank while denying aid to the Hamas go...
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Funny story: Penis Advertising Will Be Coming to Every Store

Penis Advertising Will Be Coming to Every Store

Following recent highly publicised incidents involving cock-exposure on trains, in public and in restaurants, advertising companies have been quick to spot the potential of such occurrences.
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Funny story: Vista: play install DVD backwards- hear devil talking

Vista: play install DVD backwards- hear devil talking

Not only that, but a tiny photo of three grinning men -- less that 1 mm in size -- is one of several images incorporated into the hologram's design intended to make it harder to replicate a Vista DVD, according to Nick White on Microsoft's Vista team blog.
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Funny story: Adam and Eve? NO! Adam and Steve

Adam and Eve? NO! Adam and Steve

A recent report from the Institute of Historical and Bibliographical Studies (I.H.B.S) has found that Eve never existed. Scientist Robert Van Vinkel has been able to develop a DNA sequence from protons and neutrons obtained from original toilet paper...
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Funny story: Late Night Adventures, Kimberly Stewart

Late Night Adventures, Kimberly Stewart

"Hey guys, so this weekend I jetted off to beautiful Portofino, Italy for My Dad's Big Fat Rocker Wedding. (Rod, you Dog, YOU.) We've been going there for years, so the place is filled with great memories.
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Funny story: Fake-Ohm-One: dattaswami Intelligence and Mining

Fake-Ohm-One: dattaswami Intelligence and Mining

Swarmi Intelligence (SI) indicates a recent computational and behavioral metaphor for solving distributed problems that originally took its inspiration from the biological examples provided by social insects (ants, termites, bees, wasps) and by swarming, flocking, herding behaviors in vertebrates.
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Funny story: Don't Read This.. What Paris Does In Prison

Don't Read This.. What Paris Does In Prison

Paris tells her mother that this is how she is spending her time at the moment:...
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Funny story: Henri Paul Was Not Drunk, Says Witness

Henri Paul Was Not Drunk, Says Witness

Henri Paul, the driver of the black Mercedes in which Diana Princess of Wales and her boyfriend Alfie Dodd were travelling when they were killed, was NOT drunk, according to French s...
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Funny story: Dan Rather to Katie Couric: Katie, You Ignorant Tart!

Dan Rather to Katie Couric: Katie, You Ignorant Tart!

With CBS's Evening News, with Katie Couric, facing the lowest ratings since 1987, Dan Rather, former anchor of CBS's Evening News, has been accused of sowing seeds of 'sexists sour grapes' for his criticisms of his ex-bosses for hiring Couric from the light-hearted, tongue in cheek, Today Show as his replacement. Saying, they are mistaken in thinking if they 'dumb it down and t...
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Funny story: Paris Hilton Endorses Ron Paul

Paris Hilton Endorses Ron Paul

Lynwood, CA. In a surprisingly candid interview with MSNBC's Matt Lauer, Paris Hilton today announced her endorsement of Ron Paul's (R-TX) candidacy. Speaking from a jail pay phone to Lauer, who was in New York City, Hilton explained she was...
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Funny story: Bush confused on Red/Blue Labels

Bush confused on Red/Blue Labels

PARIS - Upon hearing the news that a predicted "blue wave" failed to happen in the French Parliament, George W. Bush phoned Nicolas Sarkozy to congratulate him on the great news.
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Funny story: Gay Sailor discharged from US Navy repents, commits felony, joins Army

Gay Sailor discharged from US Navy repents, commits felony, joins Army

Fort Gordon, Georgia (UPI) - Former Petty Officer Second-Class Stefan Bozeman, an Arabic translator in the US Navy, was accidentally 'outed' via random electronic surveillance and then discharged under the military's "Don't Ask,...
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Funny story: Beckhams Join Scientologists

Beckhams Join Scientologists

Soccer star David Beckham and his celebrity wife Victoria stunned a press conference in Fresno, California today by announcing that Scientology (who some claim is a dark psychologically manipulative cult), was "not too bad really as religions go...
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Funny story: Study Finds That 14 Year-Olds Suck at Poetry

Study Finds That 14 Year-Olds Suck at Poetry

Cambridge, MA - A panel of 14 different experts in literature and poetry concluded a months-long study into the poetic abilities of the average fourteen year-old. Their findings were nothing if not disheartening.
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Funny story: Cob Has Disastrous Day Following Purchase Of "Just Terrible" Car

Cob Has Disastrous Day Following Purchase Of "Just Terrible" Car

The reptilian impersonator Cob has had the worst day possible to ANYONE after buying a car described by neighbours as "the stupidest pile of junk they'd ever seen".
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Funny story: Nicole Richie Fighting For Her Right To Drive The Wrong Way

Nicole Richie Fighting For Her Right To Drive The Wrong Way

Nicole Richie's trial date has been set for July 11. Nicole has a prior DWW, (Driving Wrong Way) and if convicted - she might be incarcerated for up to 90 days. "That'll beat that Paris bitch." Richie said, as she stuffed a pregn...
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