Funny story: George Bush Americas Best President Ever!

George Bush Americas Best President Ever!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - India - In an article for IndiaDaily.com, Sudhir Chadda writes, "You may not realize today but ten years from today you will acknowledge George Bush is America's best President."In a push to improve his i...
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Funny story: CDC Issues List of Phony American Diseases

CDC Issues List of Phony American Diseases

Atlanta, Ga (IP) - The Center for Disease Control has issued a list of diseases which occur only in the United States and these only exist in the minds of wealthy Hollywood prima donna glitter queens and wanna be copy cat types.
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Funny story: Bush Revives Military Draft

Bush Revives Military Draft

Washingdung (IP) - President Bush announced today that due to the squandering of America's troops in Iraq that he has no choice but to revive the military draft as of this Monday. In a rare moment of candor he admitted that being raised in a bil...
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Funny story: Bong Hits 4 Al Gore's Son, Arrested for Cannabis Possession

Bong Hits 4 Al Gore's Son, Arrested for Cannabis Possession

California - (Ass Mess): Al Gore The Third has been busted by the LAPD on suspicion of cannabis and prescription drug possession.
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Funny story: HUMMAH Kidnap Eron Duck

HUMMAH Kidnap Eron Duck

MIDDLE EAST (ABRAKADABRA) -- Today. Hummah (Huge Unpredictable Mozzie Mob Arse Holes) have kidnapped Eron Duck. Duck, on a goodwill visit to allied infidel forces from Wally Golly World (WGW) in the U.S., disappeared while talking to a local donkey.
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Funny story: Cruise biopic filming banned in hysteric Berlin district

Cruise biopic filming banned in hysteric Berlin district

Berlin - (Ass Mess): The German state authorities have banned Tom Cruise and his film crew from the Bendlerblock area of Berlin which is a site of "special national and hysterical interest" where an army colonel was executed in World War I...
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Funny story: Bill Gates comes in second, along with his baby-batter; stock market worried

Bill Gates comes in second, along with his baby-batter; stock market worried

Beijing, China - Adding insult to injury, Bill Gates got the news just before his tour of China that not only has he lost the coveted top spot of the world's riches man, to Mexican billionaire, Carlos Slim, now he discovers he came in second plac...
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Funny story: Romney And Man's Best Friend

Romney And Man's Best Friend

A man with bullet train goals, Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney solved an overcrowded station wagon problem by tying the family dog's carrying case to the car roof, and driving 12-hours to visit his parents in Ontario, Canada. Some mig...
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Funny story: McCain Offers Medical Plan for the Wealthy

McCain Offers Medical Plan for the Wealthy

Republican presidential candidate Senator John McCain said this weekend that he is working on a health care reform proposal that will ensure quality medical care for the rich and powerful.
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Funny story: Obama & Clinton Armwrestle for Global Warming

Obama & Clinton Armwrestle for Global Warming

Top presidential candidates Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton will armwrestle each other in Las Vegas next week. The charity event will benefit global warming research.
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Funny story: Britney Spears In Rain Storm: Gets Wet

Britney Spears In Rain Storm: Gets Wet

Pop icon Britney Spears had a rather mortal moment today when she was caught in a rain storm outside Pittsburgh today. The singer got quite wet as she did not have an umbrella with her.
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Funny story: Schoolgirl panty war over!

Schoolgirl panty war over!

July'07: Yesterday it was announced in the capitals of the U.S and Japan by the trade ministers of both countries that the crippling tarrif war over used schoolgirl panties is over.
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Funny story: Aishwarya Ranked Among The 10 Most Beautiful Women of All Time

Aishwarya Ranked Among The 10 Most Beautiful Women of All Time

London - (Ass Mess): Vague magazine has ranked Aishwarya Rai one of the Top Ten Living Goddesses of All Time.
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Funny story: Catherine Tate Is New Doctor Who

Catherine Tate Is New Doctor Who

According to news released in the last hour, comedienne Catherine Tate is to be the new Doctor Who. She will take up the role after the current Doctor, David Tennant, is killed-off in the Christmas e...
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Funny story: Kate Moss junks Doherty

Kate Moss junks Doherty

London - (Ass Mess): Kate Moss called in a fleet of pantchnicons today to junk Pete Doherty's trash from her life as well as from her house in North London's uber-hip Primrose Hill.
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Funny story: Ron Paul Supporters Storm White House!

Ron Paul Supporters Storm White House!

ABS News Agency. July 4, 2007 - ABS News has just learned that thousands of Ron Paul supporters have stormed the White House, briefly taken it over, and interrogated Vice President Dick Cheney. After the interrogation, Cheney, along with Karl Rove a...
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Funny story: Terror cops focus on Madonna

Terror cops focus on Madonna

London - (Ass Mess): Police investigating the NHS terrorist cell have reverted their attention to the international recruitment activities of ageing peroxide warbler Madonna and her Kabbalah network of Mossad operatives.
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Funny story: Sharapova on-court grunting 'louder than orgasm'

Sharapova on-court grunting 'louder than orgasm'

Wimbledon - (Ass Mess): The Lawn Tennis Association has warned tennis ace Maria Sharapova that her unbridled on-court grunting, shrieking and panting is excessive after TV viewers complained that she is making more noise than porno movie actresses fe...
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Funny story: Royals Plan to Bring Back Diana

Royals Plan to Bring Back Diana

(Gay Press) Sacha Cucksoccer, Royal correspondent: In a media leak today it was revealed that the British Royal Family are planning to revive their flagging popularity by bringing Princess Diana back from the dead.
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Funny story: Chocolate lowers your blood pressure!

Chocolate lowers your blood pressure!

According to research conducted by chocolate experts, a mouthful of dark chocolate ever day lowers blood pressure!...
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Funny story: Alan Johnston Freed From Gaza Strip Joint

Alan Johnston Freed From Gaza Strip Joint

BBC reporter Alan Johnston has this morning been released by Islamic militant forces who had been holding him hostage for 114 days.
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Funny story: New "Unibomber" Suspected Mastermind Behind Car Bombs in UK

New "Unibomber" Suspected Mastermind Behind Car Bombs in UK

APE Line-London, United Kingdom - Officials here in London today are circulating the the picture of a man they are calling the "Unibrow Unibomber". He is now suspected as a common link to several suspects currently in custody.
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Funny story: Meth-head Abbas re-shuffles Farta Party

Meth-head Abbas re-shuffles Farta Party

(Ass. Wipe) - Palestine: Following Gordon Brown's newly announced cabinet, Rabid Cameroon's re-shuffled Shadow cabinet and Sir Minging Cowgirl's re-shuffled Runners-Up cabinet, Palestine's Farta Party underwent a similar re-organisati...
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Actually White; Sportswriters Cheer

Barry Bonds Actually White; Sportswriters Cheer

Sportswriters over the past week have been announcing their support for Barry Bonds in his home run chase after it was announced last week that Bonds is actually white. Gaylord Perry, a teammate of Bobby Bonds on the 1960s San Franci...
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Funny story: New Security Threat System Unveiled

New Security Threat System Unveiled

Security experts are meeting today to discuss the implementation of a new Terror Alert system. The current system, which has five levels ranging from 'Tickety-Boo' through to 'Critical' is claimed to be insufficient to meet the needs...
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Funny story: Elton John creates 'waves' at Diana's concert

Elton John creates 'waves' at Diana's concert

All hell broke loose at the Lady Diana's concert when Sir Elton John decided to 'break the wind' while singing about a candle. The consequences of the sound and the pungent odor emanating from the grossly enlarged anus of the homosexual d...
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Funny story: Pakistan to NATO: "Please, come in!"

Pakistan to NATO: "Please, come in!"

ISLAMABAD (Reuterus) - Pakistan's National Security Council and President Pervez Musharraf indicated today that they might accept foreign intervention against extremists operating in lawless tribal areas bordering Afghanistan.
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Funny story: Confusion & Fatigue Blamed in 'Friendly Fire' Incident

Confusion & Fatigue Blamed in 'Friendly Fire' Incident

Montpelier, Vermont (AP) - On March 29, 2006, Canadian Private Robert Costall (a gunner) and US Sergeant First Class Thomas Stone (a medic) were accidentally killed by 'friendly fire' in Helmand Province, Afghanistan. -- Note: There is hardl...
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Funny story: Blackstone To Buy Paris Hilton

Blackstone To Buy Paris Hilton

US private equity group Blackstone has agreed a $26billion all-cash deal to buy celebrity heiress and former jailbird Paris Hilton, in news announced yesterday.
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Funny story: German Aristocrat Plunges To His Death One Month Too Early, Say Police

German Aristocrat Plunges To His Death One Month Too Early, Say Police

A German aristocrat, found dead after falling from his fourth-floor balcony in an exclusive area of West London, died one month too early, say police from Scotland Yard.
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Funny story: Goddess No More!

Goddess No More!

Bhaktapur, Nepal (AP) - For the past eight years ten-year-old Sajani Shakya was recognized by her people as a living Goddess, or Kumari. But local religious leaders have now stripped her of that title because she recently traveled to the US to promo...
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Funny story: The New Declaration of Independence

The New Declaration of Independence

Just to refresh your memory, since this first document hasn't been read in years, here is the Bill of Rights:...
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Funny story: Movie Inspires New Technology

Movie Inspires New Technology

Fans of "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" will be happy to learn that NASA has released plans to actually build The Heart of Gold spaceship as seen in the movie. NASA does not however plan to build the flying bricks that are the craft...
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Funny story: President Bush Pardons Osama Bin Laden, Iran, Syria, Hezzbollah, Yassar Arafat, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Ill and Princess Diana

President Bush Pardons Osama Bin Laden, Iran, Syria, Hezzbollah, Yassar Arafat, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Ill and Princess Diana

APE Line - President Bush today shocked the world with another unexpected Pardon, this time to arch enemy Osama Bin Laden, Iran, Syria, Hezzbollah, Yassar Arafat, Fidel Castro, Kim Jong Ill and Princess Diana.
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Funny story: Still a Long Time Til Christmas

Still a Long Time Til Christmas

Little Yorkie Dogs everywhere are disappointed to learn that there is still six months until Christmas. Yorkies are loved and adored (and spoiled) by their owners. Because of this, they are one of the breeds most likely to receive Christmas gifts, a...
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Funny story: Lotion Recalled after Found to Contain Steroids

Lotion Recalled after Found to Contain Steroids

Re-All Tan self-tanning lotion was recalled today after the FDA found that it contained an extreme amount of a genetically mutated steroid. The steroid drastically effected the muscle mass of the body and reacted negatively with the tanning formula t...
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Funny story: Female principal's affair with head cheerleader is really hot

Female principal's affair with head cheerleader is really hot

The town of Topeka, Kansas was shocked yesterday to discover that the principal of one of its most prestigious private schools had engaged in a totally hot girl-on-girl affair with its head cheerleader.
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Funny story: Surprise Candidate! Osama Bin Laden

Surprise Candidate! Osama Bin Laden

In a surprising move, Osama Bin Laden has announced his candidacy for the 2008 United States presidential contest. After years of terrorist actions against the U.S. Bin Laden has decided to take over the country from within. "If you watch Amer...
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Funny story: The '70s psychedelic rock group, Pink Floyd, endorses Mitt Romney for President 2008; 'Seamus' the family flying dog the cause?

The '70s psychedelic rock group, Pink Floyd, endorses Mitt Romney for President 2008; 'Seamus' the family flying dog the cause?

Washington, D.C. Mitt Romney won a surprising endorsement from the 1970s psychedelic rock group, Pink Floyd, when they announced today that they would be urging their fan base to support the Romney for President Election 2008 Campaign effort with vol...
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Funny story: Bush Celebrates 4th of July With Fireworks

Bush Celebrates 4th of July With Fireworks

President George W. Bush celebrated the 4th of July with fireworks and a bbq. Bush, at the Crawford Ranch for the Independence Day holiday, oohed and aahed with the rest at the "rockets red glare" overhead.
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Funny story: Pregnant Christina Aguilera and Husband Expecting First Baby

Pregnant Christina Aguilera and Husband Expecting First Baby

Christina Aguilera has announced that she and her husband (whose name is not important as no one remembers it anyway and she only married for his looks) are expecting their first baby. No due date has been announced, but it is guessed that the child...
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Funny story: Bush Takes Polygraph - Did He Lie?

Bush Takes Polygraph - Did He Lie?

(Washington) - U.S. president, George W. Bush, took a polygraph test today to set the record straight about whether he lied about the Iraq war.
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