Funny story: Rod has piles

Rod has piles

Rod Stewart announced today that he has had piles for most of his life. Opening up in a candid interview with Viz magazine Rod (57) said this was the reason for the way he stood on stage and wasn't his way of alluring the opposite sex.
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Funny story: Benefit Starved Americans Converting to Iraqi Citizenship

Benefit Starved Americans Converting to Iraqi Citizenship

HogWashingdung D.C. - Americans in increasing numbers are packing up and leaving the United States and heading off to Iraq in order to cash in on benefits no longer available to them at home.
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Funny story: Mitt Romney gets campaign contribution from Chinese Wheat Gluten industry for his National Lampoon's 'Vacation' style road trip

Mitt Romney gets campaign contribution from Chinese Wheat Gluten industry for his National Lampoon's 'Vacation' style road trip

Salt Lake City, Utah - Upon hearing the news of Republican Presidential candidate, Mitt Romney's National Lampoon's 'Vacation' style 12-hour road trip with his dog, Seamus, in a kennel tied to the roof of the family station wagon, rep...
View 'Mitt Romney gets campaign contribution from Chinese Wheat Gluten industry for his National Lampoon's 'Vacation' style road trip'
Funny story: Germany Surrenders To Scientologists

Germany Surrenders To Scientologists

GERMANY (Babelsberg) -- Deutschland today finally and unconditionally surrendered to the Scientologists.. "They are out of this world," said Reichstag mouth Klaus Brandauer, "and Germany looks to the future."...
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Funny story: Southern State of Georgia to Imprison Everybody

Southern State of Georgia to Imprison Everybody

Atlanta, Georgia - Georgia Governor Sonny Shitler announced today that the state of Georgia will imprison everybody with the exception of members of the police state and politicians.
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Funny story: Nazi grave discovered under Buckingham Palace

Nazi grave discovered under Buckingham Palace

London - (Rotters): Thousands of Nazi uniforms, guns and body parts of suspected SS officers have been discovered under Buckingham Palace after workmen repairing crumbling masonry were forced to dig up a decrepid old drainage system.
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Funny story: Secrets of Numerology Revealed

Secrets of Numerology Revealed

Forget about astrology, biorhythms, tarot cards, palm reading, crystal-gazing, tea-leaf reading, feng shui, phrenology, the US Meteorological Service and examining the entrails of a freshly-killed goose.
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Funny story: Porno star to testify in cash-for-honors against Blair

Porno star to testify in cash-for-honors against Blair

London - (Ass Mess): Californian porno star Courtney Coventry has agreed to a plea bargain where she will testify against Tony Blair in the cash-for-porno stars -and-peerages enquiry.
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Funny story: 9-11 Was Originally Planned For 7-11

9-11 Was Originally Planned For 7-11

Jersey City, NJ - It has been learned that 9-11 was originally planned for 7-11 but for obvious reasons involving the job security of millions of Pakistani-Americans who work for the 7-11 chain it was decided by the Taliban that 9-11 would have to d...
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Funny story: Condi Rice will declare White House running plans on July 4th

Condi Rice will declare White House running plans on July 4th

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): Condoleezza Rice is set to declare herself a Presidential candidate for the 2008 elections on July 4th, Independence Day according to DC sources.
View 'Condi Rice will declare White House running plans on July 4th'
Funny story: Aishwarya Rai decries "Fair and Handsome" skin whitening cream

Aishwarya Rai decries "Fair and Handsome" skin whitening cream

Mumbai - (Ass Mess): Living goddess and Bollywood movie queen Aishwarya Rai has joined in the criticism of a new wonder product that bleaches dark Asian skin.
View 'Aishwarya Rai decries "Fair and Handsome" skin whitening cream'
Funny story: Oswald 'had no time to fire all JFK bullets' : report

Oswald 'had no time to fire all JFK bullets' : report

Italy - (Rioters): New forensic evidence from Italy has shown JKF assassin Lee Harvey Oswald could not have acted alone because Dick Cheney and George W Bush were seen that very afternoon giving him ammunition and actual rifle attributed to the killi...
View 'Oswald 'had no time to fire all JFK bullets' : report'
Funny story: Osama Bin Laden to Run for U.S. President

Osama Bin Laden to Run for U.S. President

Atlanta, Georgia - Osama Bin Laden has announced that he will run for President of the United States of America. He will run as a Republican and Newt Gingrich will be his running mate.
View 'Osama Bin Laden to Run for U.S. President'
Funny story: Cheney abused power in Whore on Terra and ordered hitman to take out Fitzie

Cheney abused power in Whore on Terra and ordered hitman to take out Fitzie

Washington DC - (Fetid Bastards Press): Vice-President Dick Cheney is personally responsible for US policies subjecting suspects to cruelty and denial of due process according to new CIA evidence showing he hired a hitman to take out Special Prosecut...
View 'Cheney abused power in Whore on Terra and ordered hitman to take out Fitzie'
Funny story: Neocons Can't Count Past 600

Neocons Can't Count Past 600

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Iowa - Yesterday, Ron Paul had over 1000 supporters show up for his gathering in Iowa. It was reported that "over 600" people attended the gathering. This was because the reporter was a Neocon Nazi Republican and ev...
View 'Neocons Can't Count Past 600'
Funny story: Terrorists try to light themselves up in an enclosed space

Terrorists try to light themselves up in an enclosed space

Scotland ahead of England with the smoking ban demonstrated yesterday their security measures put in place to deal with people lighting up in enclosed spaces.
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Funny story: 'Floods are God's judgment on UK' says Pat Robertson

'Floods are God's judgment on UK' says Pat Robertson

West Virginia Beach - (Ass Mess) The Reverend Pat Robertson has cancelled a visit to the UK and blamed the summer floods there on abortions, gay marriage, cannabis downgrading and godless inter-racial breeding run riot.
View ''Floods are God's judgment on UK' says Pat Robertson'
Funny story: Saggy buttocks blamed as Agent Provocateur dumps Kate Moss

Saggy buttocks blamed as Agent Provocateur dumps Kate Moss

London - (Ass Mess): Lingerie retailer Agent Provocateur has said it has dumped model Kate Moss after one of her saggy buttocks fell off this weekend following too much non-nasal cocaine intake.
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Funny story: Bush/Blair Wedding Delayed Again!

Bush/Blair Wedding Delayed Again!

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - New World Earth - The Bush/Blair wedding was delayed once again because of the concert for Diana in London where Sir Elton John performed.
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Funny story: China finds secret John the Baptist tomb chamber

China finds secret John the Baptist tomb chamber

Beijing - (Ass Mess): Chinese archaeologists are cock-a-hoop at finding a mysterious underground chamber inside an ancient imperial tomb guarded by the famous Terracotta Army which they believe holds the remains of New Testament hero John the Baptist...
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Funny story: Gorbachev's daughter JK Rowling is top Glasgow terror suspect

Gorbachev's daughter JK Rowling is top Glasgow terror suspect

Glasgow - (Rotters): Glasgow police have said they are confident that the five terror suspects arrested for this weekend's bombing attempts all work for Mikhail Gorbachev's bastard daughter JK Rowling.
View 'Gorbachev's daughter JK Rowling is top Glasgow terror suspect'
Funny story: Cal-el Mourns Death of Superhero Friend Captain Marvel

Cal-el Mourns Death of Superhero Friend Captain Marvel

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Ripley, WV - Superhero Cal-el mourned the death of fellow Superhero Captain Marvel today by standing in the microwave. He then placed a wreath on Captain Marvel's grave. Captain Marvel was assassinated when he was headed...
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Funny story: Jonathan Ross blames Harry's erection on Fearne Cotton interview fiasco

Jonathan Ross blames Harry's erection on Fearne Cotton interview fiasco

London - (Ass Mess): BBC presenter Jonathan Ross has blamed awkward scenes in Fearne Cotton's TV interview with the young princes (sic) on Harry suddenly developing an erection in the middle of the interview "because as everybody knows Har...
View 'Jonathan Ross blames Harry's erection on Fearne Cotton interview fiasco'
Funny story: Cherie: "Proof that I am not bonkers"

Cherie: "Proof that I am not bonkers"

London - (Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has wept openly on a TV documentary to be broadcast in the UK on July 4th and stated categorically "I am not bonkers."...
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Funny story: "Proof that I am not bonkers!" says Cherie

"Proof that I am not bonkers!" says Cherie

London - (Ass Mess): Ex-UK Prime Monster's wife Cherie Blair has wept openly on a TV documentary to be broadcast in the UK on July 4th and stated categorically "I am not bonkers." In the 60 minute vanity piece Cherie told presenter Fiona Bruce: "...
View '"Proof that I am not bonkers!" says Cherie'
Funny story: Skunks Hire New Publicity Agent

Skunks Hire New Publicity Agent

"Skunks have a bad reputation. People run from them. No one wants to pet one, or have one as a pet. Bad smells are either blamed on them or compared to them. This is the result of bad pubicity," said former Warner Brothers Cartoon Star...
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Funny story: Many Couples Seek Lucky Day by Marrying on 7-7-7

Many Couples Seek Lucky Day by Marrying on 7-7-7

Many couples will flock to churches across the world, seeking to have July 7th, 2007 (also written as 07-07-07) as their "lucky" day. Others will rush to Vegas, Reno, and Atlantic city, hoping to strike it rich if the numbers and luck fall...
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Funny story: Utah Legislature To Outlaw Skank Clothing

Utah Legislature To Outlaw Skank Clothing

The Utah State legislature voted unanimously to outlaw the "skank" uniform in all public schools and in public places. Effective September First, it will be punishable by a fine (escalating amounts for repeat offenders) to wear certain ite...
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Funny story: Famous spoof writer gets stuck in Vagina

Famous spoof writer gets stuck in Vagina

Los Angeles (the streets of Hollywood): Buck E Filbert, infamous writer for TheSpoof.com, is entangled in a really messy controversy this time. The notorious "Vagina" writer, who was the topic of many contr...
View 'Famous spoof writer gets stuck in Vagina'
Funny story: Jonathan Ross In Prince Harry Wanking Scandal

Jonathan Ross In Prince Harry Wanking Scandal

BBC presenter Jonathan Ross is back in the hot water for his apparent fixation with male masturbation.
View 'Jonathan Ross In Prince Harry Wanking Scandal'
Funny story: Viagara Use Leads to Hand Cramps and Arm Injuries - or - How Aphrodisiacs Can Lead to Blindness and other Injuries

Viagara Use Leads to Hand Cramps and Arm Injuries - or - How Aphrodisiacs Can Lead to Blindness and other Injuries

Viagara Falls, North Carolina - Emergency rooms have reported a large increase in the amount of severe hand cramp injuries and sore shoulders among men using Viagara. They were surprised to find that married men were suffering these injuries at a m...
View 'Viagara Use Leads to Hand Cramps and Arm Injuries - or - How Aphrodisiacs Can Lead to Blindness and other Injuries'
Funny story: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Answers Mysteries of Series

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Answers Mysteries of Series

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows answers several of the mysteries and questions asked by the other books and movies. In a sneak peek of the newest best seller, this publication learned that several things will be cleared up in the final volume.
View 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Answers Mysteries of Series'
Funny story: Arizona Highway Patrol in High Speed Chase with Weinermobile

Arizona Highway Patrol in High Speed Chase with Weinermobile

Arizona State Troopers were involved in a high speed chase yesterday through the streets and freeways of Tucson trying to catch the elusive "Weinermobile." The 27 foot long, 11 foot high, hot dog shaped promotional vehicle managed to avoid...
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Funny story: Ten Things I Want To Do Before I Die

Ten Things I Want To Do Before I Die

1. Drink beer from a ladies boot in the wind...
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Funny story: Al Qaida To Begin Drug Testing Program For Members

Al Qaida To Begin Drug Testing Program For Members

Islamabad - Al Qaida has announced that it will require drug testing for anyone who wants to join its organization. This move came after Al Qaida joined the Partnership For A Drugged Up Work Place.
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Funny story: Home Secretary "In The Dark" Over Terrorist Atrocities

Home Secretary "In The Dark" Over Terrorist Atrocities

The new Home Secretary Jacqui Smith claims PM Gordon Brown kept her completely in the dark about the latest terrorist plots against the UK.
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Funny story: Jessica Simpson Drops Twenty Pounds in Dramatic Weight Loss

Jessica Simpson Drops Twenty Pounds in Dramatic Weight Loss

Actress and Hollywood personality Jessica Simpson has lost twenty pounds and is looking fit, trim, hot, and happy. The blonde bombshell is also smiling again for the first time since a recent break-up with a former boy toy. When asked how she man...
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Funny story: Jordan and Peter Drop Another Sprog

Jordan and Peter Drop Another Sprog

Massive breasted Jordan aka Katie Price and Peter Andre aka Aussie Twat have exclaimed their joy at the second welcome edition to their family this week, with the birth of daughter "Chlamydia Crystal Moondog Bush Tucker Trial".
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Funny story: Barry Bonds Breaks Another Record

Barry Bonds Breaks Another Record

More records have fallen to San Francisco Giant slugger Barry Bonds in his attempt to pass Hank Aaron's home run record. At this writing, Bonds is still five short of tying that record at 755. Other records have come his way in his past few gam...
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Funny story: Evander Holyfield Wins Unanimous Decision on Comeback

Evander Holyfield Wins Unanimous Decision on Comeback

Former heavyweight boxing champion Evander Holyfield won a unanimous ten round decision over opponent Lou Savarese to continue his comeback in boxing. Evander hopes to become heavyweight champ for a record fifth time and to unify all of the various...
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Funny story: Masturbating does NOT Make You Blind

Masturbating does NOT Make You Blind

A report today challenges the notion that excessive self-abuse can affect your eyesight.
View 'Masturbating does NOT Make You Blind'
Funny story: Incredible Hulk Angered At Losing Wimbledon Tickets

Incredible Hulk Angered At Losing Wimbledon Tickets

David Banner, aka The Incredible Hulk was today almost reaching Critical Mass as news came in that he had lost out on his prized Wimbledon tickets following bad weather and a drunken session with other Marvel heroes.
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Funny story: Late Night Shoppers Deemed Gay

Late Night Shoppers Deemed Gay

People who shop after 11pm at 24 hour supermarkets are more than likely a gay. A recent study, conducted at the 24 hour Asda in Great Bridge found that 60% of all shoppers in store were either bi-curious or full blown homosexual.
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Funny story: Smoking Ban Heralds Dawn of Government Control

Smoking Ban Heralds Dawn of Government Control

A smoking ban came in force at 6am, 1st of July 2007, and already has been the subject of discussion up and down the UK.
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Funny story: Foetus Served With ASBO While in Utero

Foetus Served With ASBO While in Utero

A 12 week old foetus, despite being in the confines of it's mothers womb, has sensationally been served with an ASBO this week.
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Funny story: Wannabee Terrorist Craze Sweeps The U.K

Wannabee Terrorist Craze Sweeps The U.K

A new craze is sweeping the U.K in the wake of the worlds war on terror. It seems that Britain's disaffected youth wants to get in on the act in a amateur capacity.
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Funny story: Ann Coulter to undergo surgery to have foot removed from mouth; GOP speechless

Ann Coulter to undergo surgery to have foot removed from mouth; GOP speechless

Washington, D.C. - The outspoken conservative columnist, Ann Coulter, was unexpectedly rushed to the hospital early this morning when she woke up to find her foot was still stuck in her mouth and could not remove it. She was discovered in her bed thi...
View 'Ann Coulter to undergo surgery to have foot removed from mouth; GOP speechless'
Funny story: L.A. Police To Use New Breed Of Officer

L.A. Police To Use New Breed Of Officer

(MUSICMAN PRESS) L.A.P.D. has make known that thirty-five new officers graduated from Officer Training Camp last week. However, these thirty-five are like no other officer on the force-they're monkeys.
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Funny story: Miss Piggy Finds Long-Lost Sister

Miss Piggy Finds Long-Lost Sister

(MUSICMAN PRESS) Longtime celebrity, and out-spoken American icon Miss Piggy, has unveiled startling news.
View 'Miss Piggy Finds Long-Lost Sister'
Funny story: N.Y. Man Break Record For Most Static-Electricity

N.Y. Man Break Record For Most Static-Electricity

(MUSICMAN PRESS) A New York City man will attempt to break the world record of 546,218,762,484,631.851 volts of static electricity. Herald "The Hair Man" Harrison said he would attempt the stunt on Saturday, at around 7:45PM Eastern Standar...
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Funny story: Who's Been Stalking Bill Gates?

Who's Been Stalking Bill Gates?

(MUSICMAN PRESS) Software entrepreneur and mega-billionaire, Bill Gates, apparently has been admired by a Seattle woman. Police were summoned to the Medina, WA estate of Mr. and Mrs. William Henry Gates III, last night at 1:41AM. Gates said he awoke...
View 'Who's Been Stalking Bill Gates?'
Funny story: Kim Jung Il To Nuke What?

Kim Jung Il To Nuke What?

(MUSICMAN PRESS) Reports smuggled out of North Korea indicate that the dictator, Kim Jong Ill may have bitten off more than he can chew. Mr. Wang Chang Chow, long-time news correspondent for Kim's state-run People's News, delivered the messag...
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Funny story: Study Finds TheSpoof.com Readers Have Higher IQs

Study Finds TheSpoof.com Readers Have Higher IQs

(MUSICMAN PRESS) A new study by Hampton Professor Patty Jones, found that Spoof readers on average have a higher IQ than persons who do not read TheSpoof.com. The study consisted of 250 TheSpoof.com readers 300 non-readers and 50 persons who write fo...
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Funny story: American Cross Dressers Association Loves New McCartney Song: "Vintage Paris Hilton Vaginas"

American Cross Dressers Association Loves New McCartney Song: "Vintage Paris Hilton Vaginas"

APE Line - The American Association of Cross Dressers announced today that they are adopting the new Paul McCartney song "Vintage Clothes" as their Anthem.
View 'American Cross Dressers Association Loves New McCartney Song: "Vintage Paris Hilton Vaginas"'
Funny story: Wal-Mart Endorses New Light Bulbs

Wal-Mart Endorses New Light Bulbs

In an effort to reduce energy inefficiency and slow down global warming, Wal-Mart has announced a plan to push yet another change in consumers' lighting options. Already the new flourescent bulbs launched last year are obsolete even though they are...
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Funny story: Bikini Bottom Experiences Increase in Land Developement

Bikini Bottom Experiences Increase in Land Developement

Bikini Bottom, the site of hit show Spongebob Squarepants is expanding rapidly after fans decide to pack up and move in. Eugene Krabbs is the developer and future owner of Krabby Kondos. The complex will feature three buildings with six apartments...
View 'Bikini Bottom Experiences Increase in Land Developement'
Funny story: Congress Reforms Illegal Immigration!

Congress Reforms Illegal Immigration!

(Washington) - Following on the heels of the monumental failure of Congress to pass any illegal immigration reform, The U.S. Congress and executive branch yesterday decided instead to rename the problem and make believe it doesn't exist.
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Funny story: Fraternal Order of Police Dogs Condemns Romney

Fraternal Order of Police Dogs Condemns Romney

The Fraternal Order of Police Dogs (FOPD) has issued a statement condemning Republican Presidential candidate Mitt Romney's decision to place the family pet, an Irish Setter with the unfortunate moniker 'Seamus' in a dog carry kennel atop...
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Funny story: Breaking Laptop Screen Causes Bad Luck

Breaking Laptop Screen Causes Bad Luck

Granted, it is common knowledge that the penalty for breaking a mirror is seven years of bad luck. Many people, however, are unaware of the sanctions which will be imposed for other offenses, especially those which have their etiology in the digital...
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Funny story: Lincoln Leaves Republican Party

Lincoln Leaves Republican Party

Breaking News: Former United States President Abraham Lincoln announced today that he has resigned from membership in the Republican Party.
View 'Lincoln Leaves Republican Party'
Funny story: Is Paris Burning?

Is Paris Burning?

MAUI (Hawaii) -- Paris "Paparazzi" Hilton is in Maui scouting sites for her halfway house. However she took time out to don a bikini and do herself a baptism in the surf.
View 'Is Paris Burning?'
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