Funny story: President Pokes Out Own Eye With "Spork"

President Pokes Out Own Eye With "Spork"

When a Secret Service agent handed him a spork, one of those ubiquitous plastic utensils usually found littering the sidewalks of Washington, DC., the President declared nostalgically to no one in particular, "Gosh ... this looks just like that...
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Funny story: Bush Forced to Take History 101

Bush Forced to Take History 101

U.S. President George W. Bush was caught sulking in a White House hallway this afternoon. White House insiders attribute Bush's sour mood to his frustrated attempts to join the Iraq Study Group. Bush was denied entry into the study group because...
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Funny story: Pope slams Jesus fancy dress as regurgitated paganism

Pope slams Jesus fancy dress as regurgitated paganism

Vatican City - (Rioters): Official: Jesus did not party. Ever. Especially in fancy dress involving false hair, make-up, ladies frocks or jewellery. That is the sombre message from the Ponitifical Committee for Hysterical Sciences which has threaten...
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Funny story: Pamela Anderson DVD : Best Yet

Pamela Anderson DVD : Best Yet

Dear old Pammy has done it again. A secret DVD has been released from her 15th husband the little known Ezra Dinkwhit.
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Funny story: Of Nobel prizes and Britney Spearses

Of Nobel prizes and Britney Spearses

Royters (Dahab Bureau Chief - Peregrine Nation) - As with most solutions to complex problems the answer is often right on your doorstep. Few things are more complex than space and space, apart from being something between Britney Spear's ears, is also the human race's final frontier, if you believe the opening credits of Star Trek. And, let's face it, who could question such an authori...
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Funny story: Polanski to direct Up Pompeii! remake

Polanski to direct Up Pompeii! remake

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Veteran film-maker Roman Polanski is to direct a big screen remake of the famous British 1970s sit-com Up Pompeii! in a film adaptation of Rolf Harris's best-selling hagiography of the same name.
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Funny story: The British Abroad - Part 6 (Learning the Lingo)

The British Abroad - Part 6 (Learning the Lingo)

Well, having spent over two years living in Turkey and practically emptying our bank account buying books, tapes, computer programmes etc. etc. in an attempt to get to grips with the confounded language we had to admit defeat. The embarrassment factor finally did for us. Out on the street we were gung-ho, jabbering away to all and sundry, but when we got home and realised that we'd told the n...
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Funny story: Glitter gets a Life Peerage

Glitter gets a Life Peerage

Vietnam - (Rotters): A Vietnamese High Court judge has freed serial child sex offender Gary Glitter as part of the country's Lunar New Year amnesty following representations made by Downing Street confirming that the ageing entertainer has been g...
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Funny story: Ex-MI6 top spook sues rapper P Diddy for name theft

Ex-MI6 top spook sues rapper P Diddy for name theft

London - (Rioters): Sir Richard Dearlove, former head of MI6, the UK's security and intelligence directorate, has sued US rapper Sean P Diddy Combs after a bitter court fight over the use of the Diddy moniker.
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Funny story: Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil and his Famous Shadow Return

Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil and his Famous Shadow Return

Groundhog Punxsutawney Phil from the town sixty-five miles from Pittsburg emerged today and did not see his famous shadow, thus predicted a quick end to winter. Phil is over 100 years old and has been forecasting the weather with better luck and acc...
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Funny story: War Of Words Spins Dangerously Out Of Control

War Of Words Spins Dangerously Out Of Control

The war of words between top writers Duff and Breeze is stepping up a gear today.
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Funny story: Children of Britney Spears and K-Fed to Work at Taco Bell

Children of Britney Spears and K-Fed to Work at Taco Bell

Kevin Federline, known in rap circles as K-Fed, said in an interview that his children were going to learn to work from a young age. His actual words were that his children with Pop Princess Britney Spears were "going to work at Taco Bell."...
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Funny story: Latest Harry Potter Book Available for Pre-Order

Latest Harry Potter Book Available for Pre-Order

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, the latest in J.K. Rowlings series about a young magician, is now available for pre-order from Barnes & Noble bookstores. The novel, which will not be released until this summer, is the seventh and last in the h...
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Funny story: Naked Wayne Rooney - Scare tactics

Naked Wayne Rooney - Scare tactics

Wayne Rooney is to be pictured on the Manchester United Web Site stark naked in an attempt to intimidate opposing teams it has been revealed.
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Funny story: Spoof writer arrested over 'cash for vaginas' scandal

Spoof writer arrested over 'cash for vaginas' scandal

A writer for 'The Spoof' has been detained by police over allegations that the word 'vagina' has been deliberately overused in order to increase circulation of the paper.
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Funny story: Hackneyed, one eyed, squirrel botherer denies vagina peppering

Hackneyed, one eyed, squirrel botherer denies vagina peppering

Glass-eyed vagrant and sometimes 'Spoof' hack, Duff, issued a very public denial against allegations of 'vagina peppering' yesterday.
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Funny story: US sex offender 'posed as the President'

US sex offender 'posed as the President'

Washington DC - (Rotters): A sixty-something sex offender has shocked the nation by posing as the President of the United States.
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Funny story: Great Uncle Bulgaria dies ages 242

Great Uncle Bulgaria dies ages 242

Former Womble leader, rubbish collection innovator and 1970's Pop Star Great Uncle Bulgaria has died peacefully at his Womble burrow home in Wimbledon, London aged 242.
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Funny story: Madonna and Guy: Last Attempt to Save Marriage

Madonna and Guy: Last Attempt to Save Marriage

Madonna and Guy Richie, Lord and Lady of the tabloids are trying to salvage what's left of their marriage today.
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Funny story: Fetid orange snow is God's punishment Robertson warns Putin

Fetid orange snow is God's punishment Robertson warns Putin

Virginia Beach - (Rotters): Crusading evangelical preacher and age-defying protein pancake salesman Reverend Pat Robertson has warned Russian President Vlad 'The Impaler' Putin that the foul-smelling orange snow falling on the Omsk region of...
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Funny story: Gary Glitter - On His Way Home?

Gary Glitter - On His Way Home?

News has broken of the possible early release of Gary Glitter. According to Vietnamese custom the president can grant a ceratin amount of amnesties to prisoners; it is thought that The 'Peado of the Gang' could be on his way...
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Funny story: Millennium Dome Brothel Plan Unveiled

Millennium Dome Brothel Plan Unveiled

Discussions have taken place in the House of Lords today, to try and resolve the fiasco over what to do about the Millennium Dome.
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Funny story: Fox Satellite Shakes With Fear at Approaching Mooninites

Fox Satellite Shakes With Fear at Approaching Mooninites

At first, engineers at Fox's giant secret satellite HQ thought they were hearing things, but then their instruments panels showed their satellite to be shaking in fear at approaching Mooninites. These ti...
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Funny story: Chelsea Table Bid For Roy Race

Chelsea Table Bid For Roy Race

SHED END: Chelsea have put in a massive £50million offer for striker Roy Race. The legendary (and fictional) Melchester Rovers player is out of contract at the end of the season, and it is thought the transfer will be merely a formality.
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Funny story: Ronaldo Ronaldo So Good They Named Him Twice and the Pope Blessed Him

Ronaldo Ronaldo So Good They Named Him Twice and the Pope Blessed Him

Genius Manchester United and Portugal footballer, Ronaldo Ronaldo, who received his second name after the old Ronaldo bestowed it upon him, has received a blessing from the pope...because he's that g...
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Funny story: New ASBO's coming

New ASBO's coming

Home Secretary John Reid announced today from his bathroom, that he is considering a new style ASBO for disobedient toddlers.
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Funny story: Have You Seen This Man?

Have You Seen This Man?

West Midlands police have released this photo-fit image of a desperado they want to interview in connection with a case of serial torture of innocent members of the general public.
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Funny story: American Idol produces American pabulum

American Idol produces American pabulum

American Idol is looking for a certain kind of talent, performers with the "it" factor.
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Funny story: Man From York Wins World Title

Man From York Wins World Title

After weeks of competition the winner of the World's best hiccup scarer has been crowned.
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Funny story: Panda Soup back on the menu

Panda Soup back on the menu

Beijing - After the successful breeding of panda's in Chengdu Zoo this week, millions of Chinese people are heading to their local restaurants to eat traditional Panda soup.
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Funny story: Monopoly Money to become legal tender in Yorkshire

Monopoly Money to become legal tender in Yorkshire

London - People in Yorkshire, noted for being mean and stingy, today are waking up to the fact that Sterling has been replaced with Monopoly Money as legal tender.
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Funny story: George Lucas slammed for casting new Obi-Wan Kinobi

George Lucas slammed for casting new Obi-Wan Kinobi

Camp Skywalker - In his relentless persuit to become the richest man in the Galaxy, George Lucas casted Saddam Hussein as the new Obi-Wan Kinobi in the new Star Wars film that hits cinema screens at Christmas this year.
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Funny story: Bush Orders 3 Million Lite-Brites Detained

Bush Orders 3 Million Lite-Brites Detained

Terrorism concerns have prompted President Bush to sign an emergency executive order to arrest and detain all three million of the nation's lite-brite toys. Lite-Brites displaying smartass cartoon characters terrorized Boston and brought the cit...
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Funny story: Super Bowl to Ban Roman Numerals Starting in MMVIII

Super Bowl to Ban Roman Numerals Starting in MMVIII

Super Bowl XLI will be a milestone in Super Bowl history. Will the game be more entertaining than the commercials? Unlikely. Rather, this will be the last year the NFL will designate the game with those confusing Roman numerals.
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Funny story: Inter Mammary Intercourse Advocates Deride IOC Decision

Inter Mammary Intercourse Advocates Deride IOC Decision

"Muff Diving should never have been approved before the Titty-F**k!" was the hue and cry of the IIMF (The International Inter Mammary F**kers). Cat Calls abounded at the IOC meeting in Likit, Australia.
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Funny story: Lady Ariana Muffington Sues Over New Olympic Event

Lady Ariana Muffington Sues Over New Olympic Event

Muff diving has been approved as a new Olympic event and Lady Muffington must protest, some think, too much.
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Funny story: Charles Manson Takes 1st Prize in Square Dance Contest

Charles Manson Takes 1st Prize in Square Dance Contest

Grand Forks, North Dakota - In a thrilling come from behind victory today, Charles Manson overtook 2 time champion Ned Sparks by scoring a 9 out of 10 in the freestyle round of the annual Grand Forks Square Dance Contest.
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Funny story: Dear Mrs and Mr HD Tops Sex Advice Charts

Dear Mrs and Mr HD Tops Sex Advice Charts

Kick back Kinsey. Just relax Johnson and Masters. Roll over Ruth Westheimer. And Don't even Dr Drew! Mrs and Mr Havinghurst Dawurst have arrived as the sex columnists extraordinaire! Despite the fact that the newest latest favoritiest sex advisor...
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Funny story: Sky Watchers Await Pointer's Hundrethth

Sky Watchers Await Pointer's Hundrethth

They've assembled on roof tops,mountain peaks and backyard ladders. Eyes fixed on the heavens, media watchers await Pointer's Hundrethth.
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Funny story: Man Travels Faster Than Light, Winds up Becoming his Own Grandfather

Man Travels Faster Than Light, Winds up Becoming his Own Grandfather

"It was freaky when I traveled back in time, met my own grandmother" Nelson Lee told reporters. According to Nelson his time machine, in this case a plutonium powered stair-stepper at a Gold's gym club propelled him simultaneously into...
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Funny story: K-Fed Answers to the Borg

K-Fed Answers to the Borg

NBC revealed its plans for a February launch of The Home Office - a spin-off of the popular Thursday night sitcom The Office. This new version will offer a semi-humorous look at a frustrated telecommuter as he works from home in hi...
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Funny story: Premiership Injuries reprive

Premiership Injuries reprive

Just as sports fans were contemplating the impact of Ashely Cole's Knee injury, together with the enduring injury sustained by Michael Owen in the 2006 World cup finals in Germany. It seems that there is a sporting chance that the two can achiev...
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