Funny story: George Washington's 1787 Constitutional Convention Letter Warned Americans about the Bushes

George Washington's 1787 Constitutional Convention Letter Warned Americans about the Bushes

Union, New Jersey - (Ass Mess): A newly discovered letter written by George Washington, the first president of the United States, detailing the Constitutional Convention warned eightenneth century Americans about the Bush family's gargantuan ambi...
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Funny story: Spider-Man 3.5... Spiderman Joins the Dark Side

Spider-Man 3.5... Spiderman Joins the Dark Side

CCN - (Crazy Cal News) - Culver City, CA (April 4, 2007) - The Tribeca Film Festival Announced that Spider-Man 3, directed by Sam Raimi, will have its U.S. Premiere at the 2007 Tribeca Film Festival, presented by American Express.
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Funny story: Virgie Arthur threatens to chain herself to airport runway

Virgie Arthur threatens to chain herself to airport runway

Nassau, Bahamas - (Ass Mess): So determined is Anna Nicole Smith's mother Virgie Arthur to get her hands on her maybe-heiress grand daughter Dannielynn that she is preparing to chain herself to the Nassau airport runway in a bid to prevent the ba...
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Funny story: Total rubbish Diana tribute concert will be moved to Sellafield landfill site

Total rubbish Diana tribute concert will be moved to Sellafield landfill site

London - (Ass Mess): The July 1st total rubbish Princess Diana concert is to be moved from Hyde Park to an alternative venue at a landfill site near Sellafield, the country's most toxic nuclear power station.
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Funny story: Teacher Forces Student to Urinate in a Bottle

Teacher Forces Student to Urinate in a Bottle

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Maryland - A Maryland teacher instructed three boys who needed a bathroom break to urinate into a soda bottle. School policy requires eighth-graders to be escorted to the restroom. The teacher suggested the bottle Friday when...
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Funny story: Kate Middleton: prospective Puppet Monarchy in-laws drove me nuts

Kate Middleton: prospective Puppet Monarchy in-laws drove me nuts

London - (Ass Mess): Royal ex-girlfriend Kate Middleton has told friends that the real reason behind her break-up with William was the horror of finding out that his family are merely a Puppet Monarchy controlled by the Bushes and funded by baksheesh...
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Funny story: George Tenet Says Reason for War was a Charade

George Tenet Says Reason for War was a Charade

Former CIA director, George Tenet, has lashed out against Vice President Dick Cheney in a new book, accusing him of egging him on into making the case that Iraq had WMD.
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Funny story: Canadian Prime Minister Admits His Ministers Are War Criminals

Canadian Prime Minister Admits His Ministers Are War Criminals

OTTAWA (CP) - Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper has admitted there is "clear evidence" that members of his government and army are war criminals, since they are knowingly handing over insurgent prisoners of war to be tortured by the Af...
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Funny story: Cadbury's lose out

Cadbury's lose out

Today Greenpeace hippies sued Cadbury's chocolate, exposing the chopping down of cream egg trees in Russia and then smuggling the eggs to the UK in sheep transporting lorries carrying a rare breed of lilac Russian sheep, whose wool is used for th...
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Funny story: Indian PM Orders: "Kill Richard Gere!"

Indian PM Orders: "Kill Richard Gere!"

The Indian government has issued a death warrant for Richard Gere, the aging American actor who showed disrespect to their culture last week.
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Funny story: NASA Axes Uranus, Causing Public Outcry

NASA Axes Uranus, Causing Public Outcry

(MMP News) In a startling and seemingly unjustified move, the National Aeronautics and Space Administration (NASA) has stated that it will no longer recognize Uranus as a planet. Top officials claim it no longer fits the contemporary definition of a...
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Funny story: Wall of Sound Testifies Against Spector

Wall of Sound Testifies Against Spector

Silence fell upon Los Angeles Superior Court today as one of Phil Spector's closest allies took the stand. The majestic Wall of Sound stunned the courtroom with the revelation: "Yes, Phil pulled a gun on me too."...
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Funny story: Hemel Hempstead man to get Millions

Hemel Hempstead man to get Millions

Hemel Hempstead, Evening Herald & Post. A man in Hemel Hempstead has been e-mailed by a solicitor in Ghana asking if he could help with a foreign money transfer of 20,000 US Dollars.
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Funny story: Anna Nicole case judge Larry pleads not guilty of going to pot

Anna Nicole case judge Larry pleads not guilty of going to pot

Florida - (Ass Mess): Yet another man called Larry from the Anna Nicole Smith saga is in the limelight today as Judge Larry Korda, who presided over burial arriangements for the late Playboy centerfold Anna Nicole Smith, filed a written plea of not g...
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Funny story: Cal-el Finds Alaska in His Freezer

Cal-el Finds Alaska in His Freezer

Today, while looking at pictures of his late Texas Ranger grandfather, Cal-el got thirsty and decided to have a mint julep. He went to his Texas freezer to get some ice cubes. Much to his surprise, when he opened the freezer door, he found Alaska. He almost dropped it in his julep glass, thinking it was an ice cube.
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Funny story: Matthew Mellon courtroom drama continues

Matthew Mellon courtroom drama continues

London - (Ass Mess): The London High Court case prosecuting oil and banking wannabe-heir Matthew Mellon for electronic hacking and snooping activities has heard how the corrupt ex-cops he hired to do the dirty were duped into trying to penetrate the...
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Funny story: Jolie: a jolly deadly disease?

Jolie: a jolly deadly disease?

Hollywood - (Ass Mess): Jolie: the French word means pretty, as in pretty woman, pretty girl. But Hollywood actress Angelina Jolie is sitting far from pretty in health terms according to a celebrity gossip column which has stated unequivocably that...
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Funny story: Jade Goody - Wild Woman Of The Woods!

Jade Goody - Wild Woman Of The Woods!

Jade Goody, celebrity unemployable idiot, continues her spectacular fall from grace with reports that she has gone wild and is living in a makeshift tent in Epping Forest.
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Funny story: Japanese movie star Maiko Kawakami bought poodle that was a sheep

Japanese movie star Maiko Kawakami bought poodle that was a sheep

Tokyo - (Ass mess): Ewe've been had! The entertainment industry press is having a good laugh today amid reports that one of Japan's top movie stars Maiko Kawakami was so dumb that she couldn't tell the diference between a lamb and a pedgr...
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Funny story: Lampard: "Jose Mourinho Doesn't Do Crack!"

Lampard: "Jose Mourinho Doesn't Do Crack!"

"Jose Moaninho does not take crack!" That was the message from Chelsea midfielder Frank Lamp-post today, in defence of his beleaguered manager, Joe Moaner.
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Funny story: Moon to Earth: You're Not the Boss of Me

Moon to Earth: You're Not the Boss of Me

HIGH EARTH ORBIT (AP Newsliar) - Responding to the latest barb in the war of words between the Earth and its Moon, the Moon today fired back: "You're not the boss of me."...
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Funny story: Hellfire Harry threatens to join Al Qaeda if stopped from going to Iraq

Hellfire Harry threatens to join Al Qaeda if stopped from going to Iraq

London - (Ass mess): The Pretender to the Throne's gingernut son Harry has threatened to join Al Qaeda if he is stopped from going to Iraq because of the offside rule that says he would be a massive liability to the rest of his platoon chums.
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Funny story: No more Limbo For The Pope

No more Limbo For The Pope

Pope Benedict XVI has brought to an end the 800 year old concept of limbo, following a theological study, the Vatican has announced.
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Funny story: Cash for peerages cops focus on Lord Levy and the 9/11 massacre

Cash for peerages cops focus on Lord Levy and the 9/11 massacre

London - (Ass Mess): Lord Levy, the blind trust portfolio bagman to UK Prime Monster Tony Blair, his personal Middle East envoy, chief WMD/yellowcake uranium fantasist and top racketeering partner responisble for flogging peerages, is squirming with...
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Funny story: Steven Hawkings in Zero Gravity

Steven Hawkings in Zero Gravity

CCN - NASA - Today, Stephen Hawking was taken aboard the the "vomit comet," putting him one step closer to going to space. Space, the final frontier... Yes, Mr. Hawking enjoyed the experience and was overjoyed at the prospect of being in...
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Funny story: Pope prompts panic passing punitive prayers potentially purveying pogroms

Pope prompts panic passing punitive prayers potentially purveying pogroms

Pope Benedict's plans to revive the Latin Mass, which includes prayers for the conversion of Jews, is causing concern among Catholic and Jewish groups about relations between their faiths.
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Funny story: Scary Spice Munched My Rug!

Scary Spice Munched My Rug!

Top furniture chain Ikea was in uproar today as Scary Spice Mel B lost her temper after being refused admission with her super sized pram and actually savaged an entire window display, including smashing several tables and tearing at a "Vulfaa&q...
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Funny story: Bike theft new Olympic sport!

Bike theft new Olympic sport!

The International Olympic Committee has announced that bicycle theft is to become an Olympic sport.
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Funny story: Roger Ebert Frightens Many At Overlooked Film Festival

Roger Ebert Frightens Many At Overlooked Film Festival

CHICAGO, ILLINOISE-(FANGORIA) A decision to bravely face the world can sometimes NOT get the appropriate reception originally perceived. That was the dilemma facing long time tv host of PBS "At The Movies" /Chicago Sun Time...
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Funny story: Prince Harry Escapes Iraq - Gets Top Equus Role

Prince Harry Escapes Iraq - Gets Top Equus Role

Prince Harry was today said to be thrilled at landing the lead role in acclaimed play Equus. The palace is said to be behind the move, in a last ditch attempt to avoid Harry being shipped to Iraq. Privately, Prince Philip is said to have declared, &q...
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Funny story: Shilpa Shetty serving saucy succulent snappy snacks!

Shilpa Shetty serving saucy succulent snappy snacks!

MUMBAI (Rooters) - Shilpa Shetty, the winner of reality television show "Celebrity TeleTubbies", will open a chain of Indian curry houses in Britain, a newspaper reported on Friday.
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Funny story: Wolfowitz Asks "What Is Wrong With My Graft and Corruption At the World Bank?"

Wolfowitz Asks "What Is Wrong With My Graft and Corruption At the World Bank?"

WASHINGTON (AP) - Defending himself against charges of personal graft and corruption as President of the Word Bank, Paul Wolfowitz asked his peers, "What Is wrong with my graft and corruption at the Bank?"...
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Funny story: Regis Philbin Returns To Talk Show

Regis Philbin Returns To Talk Show

NEW YORK--(ASP) Looking none to much for wear & tear, that immutable and zesty host of "Live with Regis and Kelly" returned to daytime talk showland. Having been gone for a good 6 weeks, Regis Philbin underwent a qu...
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Funny story: Clubbers Warned About New Drug

Clubbers Warned About New Drug

Cluubers have been warned by a group doctors, about the dangers of a new drug that is prevalant on the club scene and is seen as an alternative to Ecstacy.
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Funny story: Cristiano Ronaldo and Jose Mourinho Go At It

Cristiano Ronaldo and Jose Mourinho Go At It

Chelsea manager Jose Moaninho and Melchester United heart throb Crustiano Retardo have entered into a war of words, the like of which, has never before been heard in Portuguese.
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Funny story: Obama Preparing for Attack by Hillary Clinton

Obama Preparing for Attack by Hillary Clinton

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Barack Hussein Obama Junior is preparing for an attack by U.S. Senator Hillary Clinton. Hillary announced that she was going to do more high dollar fund raisers, especially for those contributors who can pony up the maximum $4...
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Funny story: Rush Limbaugh Back on Drugs, Has Psychotic Episode

Rush Limbaugh Back on Drugs, Has Psychotic Episode

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - On his radio show, Rush Limbaugh had a psychotic episode in which he said, "had to be a liberal."...
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Funny story: Hillary Dominates Seven Men, Vows Retaliation

Hillary Dominates Seven Men, Vows Retaliation

(South Carolina) -- Hillary Clinton has emerged as the leading presidential contender among 8 declared Democratic candidates in the first debate of this 19- month (Jezuz!) election season. Big losers were John Edwards and Barack Obama. Edwards'...
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Funny story: The Republic of Texas Secedes from the Union

The Republic of Texas Secedes from the Union

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - The Great Republic of Texas - Today, President Bush announced that he was having Texas secede from the Union. He said that he wanted to be sure that he had a place to rule if he decides to leave office in 2008.
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Funny story: Jack Valenti's Funeral To Be Rated R

Jack Valenti's Funeral To Be Rated R

LOS ANGELES, April 26, 2007 -- Due to strong adult content, including intense grief and a graphic depiction of a dead body, the funeral of former Motion Picture Assoc. of America chairman Jack Valenti will be rated R, and children in attendance under...
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Funny story: Spam Stimulates Brain, say Researchers

Spam Stimulates Brain, say Researchers

New York, Apr 27 - In a major setback to anti-spammers around the world, a group of researchers under the banner of Association of Scientific Spam (ASS) have proven that spam mail, otherwise known as junk mail, stimulates the growth of the brain cell...
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Funny story: Texan Finds Formula for Perfect Head of Beer

Texan Finds Formula for Perfect Head of Beer

A Texas scientist may have cracked the code for the perfect head on a glass of beer, and perhaps much more in the process.
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton's Ever Changing Accent

Hillary Clinton's Ever Changing Accent

Just days after adopting a southern drawl for a political rally at a black church, Sen. Hillary Clinton today appeared to take on a "gangsta rap" dialect when speaking to a Snoop Dog convention in Compton, CA.
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Funny story: Top cop Paddick booted out early

Top cop Paddick booted out early

London - (Ass Mess): Top Met cop Brian Paddick is being booted out by taking out early retirement next month after losing every hand of five years' high stakes blackmail poker against his boss Sir Ian Blair in a tortuous battle over gagging some...
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