Funny story: Nostradamus - He's At It Again!

Nostradamus - He's At It Again!

The seer and visionary Nostradamus - who came back to life half an hour ago - has proclaimed that vague, obscure and nebulous things will occur sometime in the future.
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Funny story: Bin Laden Found in Bush's Bath

Bin Laden Found in Bush's Bath

Osama Bin Laden, one of the worlds most wanted terrorists, was today found safe and well in a bath at the White House.
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Funny story: "Stone Cold" Steve Austin: The New Spider-Man in the 2009 flick "Spider-Man 4"

"Stone Cold" Steve Austin: The New Spider-Man in the 2009 flick "Spider-Man 4"

Director Sam Raimi and Marvel/Spider-Man creator Stan Lee are currently in talks with Columbia Pictures and first movie script writer David Koepp about making a fourth movie. However, if such a thing is to happen, leading actor Tobey Maguire will not...
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Funny story: A Lesson in Immigration

A Lesson in Immigration

"Donde están mis calcetines?" (Where are my socks?)...
View 'A Lesson in Immigration'
Funny story: Why I Hate War: View From a Soldier

Why I Hate War: View From a Soldier

"War is hell." I'm not sure exactly who said that, but I know it to be true. Though I was never actually in combat myself, I did watch "Saving Private Ryan", so I'm a bit of an authority on that subject. Sometimes, though, peace time can be just as brutal.
View 'Why I Hate War: View From a Soldier'
Funny story: Branson vs. Murdoch on Pay-Per-View

Branson vs. Murdoch on Pay-Per-View

It was today confirmed that Virgin Media mogul Richard Branson will fight Sky boss Rupert Murdoch in a Texas death match to decide who was right in the row over Sky channels.
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Funny story: Viagra soap perks up your shower

Viagra soap perks up your shower

London - (Ass Mess): The UK National Poisons Unit has patented a new application of the Viagra pill which has been blended with the brand-leading Hairball Essences shower gel to help users wake up in the morning.
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Funny story: Prince Charles Selected to Be the Next James Bond

Prince Charles Selected to Be the Next James Bond

BCC - The United Artists group has had disaster after disaster trying to cast new James Bonds. In an effort to put an end to their distress, UA has picked Prince Charles to be the new James Bond.
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Funny story: The Outline - a story in briefs

The Outline - a story in briefs

It was the best of times. It was the worst of times. . .
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Funny story: John Edwards Wishes Sandy Cannon Would Cut His Hair

John Edwards Wishes Sandy Cannon Would Cut His Hair

(Los Angeles, CA) -- Former US Senator John Edwards (D-NC) running for the Democratic nomination for President took time today to explain his $400 haircut in Los Angeles. "If I were back in the Senate," Edwards explained, "Sandy Cannon...
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Funny story: Angelina Jolie Adopts Alec Baldwin, Other Baldwin Bros. Feel Like SH*t

Angelina Jolie Adopts Alec Baldwin, Other Baldwin Bros. Feel Like SH*t

(Hollyweird) -- UN Very Special Envoy, International Woman of Mylar, & Compulsive Adopter Angelina Jolie is en route to this sleepy Southern California town to adopt Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.) Father of the Year, Alec Baldwin, star of television, fil...
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Funny story: Wolfowitz Offers To Have Girlfriend Pose for Playboy or Penthouse

Wolfowitz Offers To Have Girlfriend Pose for Playboy or Penthouse

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - The World Bank's board met privately on Friday to discuss President Paul Wolfowitz's offer to have his girlfriend Shaha Riza pose for Playboy or Penthouse "to show just how hot she really is."...
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Funny story: Cash for honors cops dump Blair

Cash for honors cops dump Blair

London - (Ass Mess): As he heads for his weekend retreat of Chequers UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has been told he may not survive another 24 hours in office following the police decision to hand over all the evidence to the Crown Prosecution Service...
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Funny story: X Factor Phone Voting Scandal Continues

X Factor Phone Voting Scandal Continues

ITV's X-Factor has suffered another massive blow after they illegally charged for phone calls this week. ICTIS the phone line watchdog was publishing results of its investigation into the popular programme but before it did, it phoned the product...
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Funny story: Prominent Republicans Demand Gonzales Take Alzheimer's Drug

Prominent Republicans Demand Gonzales Take Alzheimer's Drug

Though tests in March proved he did not have Alzheimer's disease, embattled Attorney General Alberto Gonzales faced growing demands from leading Republicans to take the Alzheimer's drug, Aricept®, even as the White House continued to back his...
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Funny story: V.P. Dick Cheney accepts role in Star Trek XI

V.P. Dick Cheney accepts role in Star Trek XI

Hot on the heels of the rumor of Matt Damon in the role of a young Captain James T. Kirk, Star Trek XI producer J.J. Abrahms has confirmed that American Vice-President Dick Cheney has accepted a role in the forthcoming blockbuster motion picture.
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Funny story: Surgeons "stealing body parts"

Surgeons "stealing body parts"

As the Government announced another inquiry into hospitals stealing body parts, it has come to light that surgeons in yet another hospital in London have been up to no good. In order to finance their country club, golfing, first class airfare life,
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Funny story: Bush Has Historians Jailed

Bush Has Historians Jailed

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - WASHINGTON, D.C. - Today, after conveying his belief that history will be kind to him, named all U.S. historians "enemy combatants" and had them arrested. President Bush, in a statement to the press, said, "We h...
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Funny story: Baby Look At You Now

Baby Look At You Now

Doreen Spanner is a proud mum today for her son, Damian (2), has become the youngest undergraduate at the world famous Uxbridge University.
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Funny story: Her Majesty The Queen Gets Nits During Albert Square Visit

Her Majesty The Queen Gets Nits During Albert Square Visit

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II got more than she bargained for on a recent visit to the Albert Square set of BBC soap EastEnders, for, as well as a guided tour and a gin & tonic at the Queen Vic, she returned home wi...
View 'Her Majesty The Queen Gets Nits During Albert Square Visit'
Funny story: Satellite Radio Dispute Intensifies

Satellite Radio Dispute Intensifies

The conflict between satellite radio firms became a shooting war today. Sirius announced they shot down one of rival XM's satellites.
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Funny story: Police Arrest Scoutmaster For "Being Unprepared"

Police Arrest Scoutmaster For "Being Unprepared"

Police in the West Midlands have today arrested a Scoutmaster who, in a direct contravention of the ancient rules laid down by Lord Baden-Powell, took some Boy Scouts out on a camping trip &q...
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Funny story: F.A.G. Names Alec Baldwin Father of the Year

F.A.G. Names Alec Baldwin Father of the Year

(Hollyweird) -- The Film Actors Guild (F.A.G.) has named Alec Baldwin Father of the Year. "In view of his fine acting in 30 Rock as well as feature film The Departed. Alec is deserving of this fine award," said F.A.G. Prexy Jock Valenti.
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Funny story: Duncan Fletcher Told "You're Out!"

Duncan Fletcher Told "You're Out!"

Duncan Fletcher is to step down from his lofty role as England's cricket coach after their last World Cup match against the West Indies on Saturday.
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Funny story: Bush, Showing Signs of Delusion, Suggests History Will Be Kind to Him

Bush, Showing Signs of Delusion, Suggests History Will Be Kind to Him

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - Washington - President George W. Bush, showing signs of delusion and grandeur, announced that he would not buckle to polls showing opinion cutting against him on a variety of issues, and conveyed his belief that he would be vin...
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Funny story: Beach Boys' Mike Love to Run For President

Beach Boys' Mike Love to Run For President

(Malibu, CA) -- Beach Boy's singer songwriter Mike Love (I-Warner Bros.) announced today he will run for President of the United States. He explained the unusual move by pointing to John McCain (R-Hanoi Hilton), "John McCain has been doing...
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Funny story: John "Bomb Bomb Iran" McCain To Campaign With Beachboys, Boomer Bands

John "Bomb Bomb Iran" McCain To Campaign With Beachboys, Boomer Bands

(Phoenix, Arizona) -- Sen John McCain (R-AZ), once a Presidential hopeful, has sought to shore up his flailing presidential campaign by combining his "straight talk" message with boomer music.
View 'John "Bomb Bomb Iran" McCain To Campaign With Beachboys, Boomer Bands'
Funny story: Cash for honours file to disappear

Cash for honours file to disappear

Scotland Yard detectives investigating the "cash for honours" affair handed over their main evidence file to the Crown Prosecution Service.
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Funny story: Wales to become car park!

Wales to become car park!

Transport Minister, Douglas Alexander, has unveiled radical plans to tackle the UK's congestion problems. This plan has been heralded as a new dawn in car parking and could arguably be the largest "Park and Ride" project on the face of...
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Funny story: Billionaire Leaves Fortune To Fortune Teller

Billionaire Leaves Fortune To Fortune Teller

HONG KONG (AFP) - In a shocking twist of fate, Asia's richest woman left her wealth to her fortune-teller in her last known will, Hong Kong media reported Thursday. The fortune teller is predicting a costly legal battle to control her multi-billi...
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Funny story: Food isn't Safe Study Shows

Food isn't Safe Study Shows

A study by the university of Hogwarts has discovered that food is unsafe and shouldn't be consumed by humans.
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Funny story: George Bush Signs Record Deal With Def Jam

George Bush Signs Record Deal With Def Jam

The News of the World - New York, April 20 - After many heated negotiations, George W. Bush has signed a five year contract with Def Jam Records.
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Funny story: Chubby Brown Elected as UN Spokesman

Chubby Brown Elected as UN Spokesman

Comedian Roy "Chubby" Brown was today elected as the new spokesman for the United Nations.
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Funny story: Blair will sign for Newcastle after downing street.

Blair will sign for Newcastle after downing street.

Newcastle United have today confirmed that Prime Minister Tony Blair will wear the famous number nine jersey next season.
View 'Blair will sign for Newcastle after downing street.'
Funny story: Wogan "its a wig"

Wogan "its a wig"

Terry Wogan finally admmitted today what the whole of Great Britain already knew when he declared "I Wear a Wig".
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Funny story: Kate tells pals: "When I kissed Prince Charming he turned into a frog"

Kate tells pals: "When I kissed Prince Charming he turned into a frog"

London - (Ass Mess): It was over before it ever began. And now friends of Kate Middleton have told press reporters of her shock and upset when her first kiss with William turned into a macabre nightmare of Grimm Brothers proportions.
View 'Kate tells pals: "When I kissed Prince Charming he turned into a frog"'
Funny story: Psychiatrists' report says William 'psychologically flawed'

Psychiatrists' report says William 'psychologically flawed'

London - (Ass Mess): It's no wonder Kate Middleton dumped the Pretender to the Throne's son William.
View 'Psychiatrists' report says William 'psychologically flawed''
Funny story: Passengers reach for the sickbag as Heather Mills dances mile high

Passengers reach for the sickbag as Heather Mills dances mile high

Atlantic Ocean - (Ass Mess): It's every passenger's top nightmare. A ten hour non-stop flight from LA to London and the on board entertainment system suddenly fails. Then who should spring up from their first class seat and offer to cheer u...
View 'Passengers reach for the sickbag as Heather Mills dances mile high'
Funny story: Iran suspected as Marie Celeste 'ghost yacht' found off North Queensland

Iran suspected as Marie Celeste 'ghost yacht' found off North Queensland

Australia - (Rioters): Pesky Iranian fundamentalists are once again the top suspects as a mysterious Marie Celeste-type of ghost yacht was found drifting off the North Queensland coast yesterday.
View 'Iran suspected as Marie Celeste 'ghost yacht' found off North Queensland'
Funny story: Brad Pitt, Guy Ritchie seek solace in each other, while without wives

Brad Pitt, Guy Ritchie seek solace in each other, while without wives

It must be lonely at the top, the spouse is out and you're stuck at home twiddling your thumbs, playing pocket billiards in your 18 roomed Devonshire pile.
View 'Brad Pitt, Guy Ritchie seek solace in each other, while without wives'
Funny story: Overeater Wants Jello To Reconsider

Overeater Wants Jello To Reconsider

Samuel "Hoot" Dawson insists he isn't trying to cause trouble for the gelatin dessert empire, but he is adamant that they rethink their long-time advertising tag, "There's always room for Jell-O!"...
View 'Overeater Wants Jello To Reconsider'
Funny story: Rove: "I Wish The Iraq War Never Existed - It Was Gonzales Idea"

Rove: "I Wish The Iraq War Never Existed - It Was Gonzales Idea"

WASHINGTON, D.C. - During an Ohio visit yesterday, White House senior political adviser Karl Rove claimed he "never wanted the war in Iraq."...
View 'Rove: "I Wish The Iraq War Never Existed - It Was Gonzales Idea"'
Funny story: A Whale Dies In Brooklyn!

A Whale Dies In Brooklyn!

A young 5, 000 pound whale, nickednamed Brooklyn Dodger seemed to be doing fine in the waters off of Brooklyn, NYC until yesterday when the marine mammal began to thrash around in the waters. The magnificent creature suddenly beached itself on a dock...
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Funny story: Gates Grants Comp Time to Troops!

Gates Grants Comp Time to Troops!

New Secretary of Defense Robert Gates has denied pay raises to War-torn soldiers some of whose families are on food stamps and other types of government welfare. Gates who is a millionaire like most of Bush's buddies, except for the billionaires...
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Funny story: "Dr" Kennedy Decides on Medical Procedure!

"Dr" Kennedy Decides on Medical Procedure!

"Dr" Anthony Kennedy JD has decided that he has the expertise to determine what medical procedure is appropriate to resolve a late-term crisis pregnancy. After numerous years as a top notch lawyer and judge Doctor Tony thinks he has the sci...
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Funny story: House Passes Loan Disaster Bill, Bankrupts U.S.

House Passes Loan Disaster Bill, Bankrupts U.S.

The New York High Times - In a reaction to the delays and confusion that marked the agency's response to Hurricane Katrina and other 2005 hurricanes, the House passed a disaster loan bill.
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Funny story: After Senators Grill Gonzales, With Side of Fries, Makes a DC Happy Meal

After Senators Grill Gonzales, With Side of Fries, Makes a DC Happy Meal

(Have A Hart Bidg., DC) -- US Attorney General & Longtime Bush Yes Man Alberto "Speedy" Gonzales, faced withering criticism today from Republican members of the Senate Judiciary & Public Floggings Committee.
View 'After Senators Grill Gonzales, With Side of Fries, Makes a DC Happy Meal'
Funny story: Republicans Oust Medicare Drug Price Negotiation

Republicans Oust Medicare Drug Price Negotiation

The New York High Times - WASHINGTON, April 18 - Democrats watched in horror as the Republican Majority, now known as "The Empire," Struck Back today.
View 'Republicans Oust Medicare Drug Price Negotiation'
Funny story: Walmart Acquires War

Walmart Acquires War

Citing rising costs in the ongoing wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, the U.S. Defense Department today unveiled a deal that puts Walmart in charge of running the war.
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Funny story: Lampard: It's just not fair

Lampard: It's just not fair

Chelsea's over-rated housewife, Frank Lampard, has today poured his heart out to local reporters about Manchester United's advantage over his club.
View 'Lampard: It's just not fair'
Funny story: Alberto Gonzales Called A Greasy Wetback

Alberto Gonzales Called A Greasy Wetback

WASHINGTON D.C.--(NOBSDCNOOZ) Attorney General Alberto Gonzales insisted yesterday he had only a small role in the dismissal of eight federal prosecutors. Disbelieving senators reacted calling the Attorney General a "gre...
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Funny story: Gonzales faces tough questions on Hillary Clinton

Gonzales faces tough questions on Hillary Clinton

Washington DC - (Ass Mess): The Bush Administration's Asshole General faces some tough quesitons from the Senate Interrogation Comittee this week after he ran out of excuses for delaying his testimony any further despite some lucky personal break...
View 'Gonzales faces tough questions on Hillary Clinton'
Funny story: Sheringham unsure about his future

Sheringham unsure about his future

Teddy Sheringham has admitted to the press that he is unsure whether he will ever play for his football club, West Ham United, ever again. Sheringham, 74, has not played since January, and was publicly heard saying 'I may by using a walking frame,...
View 'Sheringham unsure about his future'
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