There were 132 spoof news stories published in September 2006. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Pope Benedict Converts to Islam

Pope Benedict Converts to Islam

VATICAN CITY -- Pope Benedict's speech last week, which the Muslim world took to condemn Islam for violence, set off a whole series of riots, church burnings and the murder of a nun. The Pope, following multiple failed apologies for his words, a...
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Funny story: FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking

FDA warns of the dangers of excessive nose picking

Seattle, Washington - Jason Peters had a habit. It wasn't a very nice habit. His mother told him to use a Kleenex, but he just wouldn't listen. Unlike the nursery rhyme, when he stuck in his thumb he didn't get a plum... he got his own eyeball.
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Funny story: Ford Announces Water-Powered Automobile

Ford Announces Water-Powered Automobile

DETROIT, Mich.. -- The Ford Motor Company, in conjunction with Hydrolytics, Inc., announced today that they have produced, in a unprecedented engineering feat, a water-powered car that could end America's dependence on foreign petroleum for vehic...
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Funny story: Lego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs

Lego Announces Plans to Start Making Prosthetic Limbs

Earlier this week the president of LEGO America, Søren Torp Laursen, announced a plan to have new LEGO prosthetic limbs on the US market by October 2008, and the global market by December 2008. They have already produced proto-types, and say their ne...
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Funny story: Pope's Cartoons Not Meant To Cause Offence To Islam

Pope's Cartoons Not Meant To Cause Offence To Islam

The Vatican has denied that Pope Benedict XVI intended any offence to Muslims after he sketched a series of lighthearted Islamic-based cartoons including one depicting the Prophet Muhammad wearing a revealing mini-skirt and sporting a funny moustache...
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Funny story: Bloggers Uncover Lebanon War Fraud

Bloggers Uncover Lebanon War Fraud

ALTOONA, Penn. -- In the wake of the United Nation's Security Council resolution to end the war in Lebanon, some fear the root cause of the war may be lost. The war was the result of geographical fraud, according to a report produced by a virtua...
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Funny story: VeggieTales Censored: NBC Cuts "Dangerous" Idea

VeggieTales Censored: NBC Cuts "Dangerous" Idea

NEW YORK -- Today NBC further explained why it edited, censored their critics say, some episodes of "VeggieTales," a popular children's series that has just begun airing on NBC Saturday mornings.
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Funny story: George Hamilton Receives His Own Hamilton Prize, the Nation's Highest Skin Cancer Award

George Hamilton Receives His Own Hamilton Prize, the Nation's Highest Skin Cancer Award

TAMPA BAY, Fla. -- The American Academy of Dermatology Association (AADA) and International Society of Aesthetic Plastic Surgery (ISAPS) together have awarded their first-ever distinguished presidential citation lifetime achievement award to actor an...
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Funny story: Terrell Owens' Injury Was "Not Football Related," says HBO's Bryant Gumbel

Terrell Owens' Injury Was "Not Football Related," says HBO's Bryant Gumbel

IRVING, Texas -- Terrell Owens' hamstring injury, which kept him out of full practice for most of the preseason, was not, as previously thought, football related, Bryant Gumbel will report next Tuesday on HBO's "Real Sports."
View 'Terrell Owens' Injury Was "Not Football Related," says HBO's Bryant Gumbel'
Funny story: RJR Nabisco Ordered to Stop Making Crackers

RJR Nabisco Ordered to Stop Making Crackers

EAST HANOVER, N.J. - RJR Nabisco was ordered today by the Superior Court of New Jersey to immediately "cease and desist making and selling crackers and cracker-like snacks."...
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Funny story: Cisco Merges with Crisco to Produce the Slickest High-Tech Products Ever Seen

Cisco Merges with Crisco to Produce the Slickest High-Tech Products Ever Seen

SAN JOSE, Calif. and ORRVILLE, Oh. -- Cisco Systems®, the leading supplier of networking equipment, and Crisco® Oils and Shortenings, a spin-off from The J.M. Smucker Company, announced today the world's first merger between a fat-based food-prod...
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Funny story: Livingstone brokers cheap crack cocaine deal for London

Livingstone brokers cheap crack cocaine deal for London

City Hall, London - (AssoCIAted Mess): In a landmark trade deal London Mayor Ken Livingstone has secured a five year contract to supply cheap Venezuelan crack cocaine to the capital following months of delicate wrangling with President Hugo Chavez...
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Funny story: Doherty set to join local politics

Doherty set to join local politics

PETE Doherty has outlined his latest plan to prove to the world once and for all that his hell-raising ways are behind him - by applying to join Tetbury Upton Parish Council.
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Funny story: Popeye The Sailor Man Panicked by Spinach Recall

Popeye The Sailor Man Panicked by Spinach Recall

As the U.S. recalls bagged spinach due to an E. coli scare, Popeye The Sailor Man is in a state of total panic. Friends are trying to get him interested in carrots, but so far it's a no go. "How can I live without spinach?" he asks.
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Funny story: NBC in Compromise Between Catholic Church and Madonna to Broadcast Actual Crucifixion

NBC in Compromise Between Catholic Church and Madonna to Broadcast Actual Crucifixion

LOS ANGELES, Calif. -- NBC said today that it has come to a compromise between Madonna and religious leaders offended by her "climbing on a cross" during the scheduled broadcast of a concert from her "Confessions" tour. Rather th...
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Funny story: US Air Force implements "Smart Card Logon" for aircraft, missiles

US Air Force implements "Smart Card Logon" for aircraft, missiles

All U.S. Air Force pilots will soon be required to use Common Access Cards, or "smart cards," to log on to aircraft and missiles. USAF is moving away from unsecure access in an effort to thwart saboteurs and terrorists from putting critica...
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Funny story: Temporary Spanish-American War Tax Repeal Fails; Congress Votes to Attack Spain

Temporary Spanish-American War Tax Repeal Fails; Congress Votes to Attack Spain

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- U.S. Congress voted today to declare war on Spain.
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Funny story: Bush and Congress Unite to Have Mexicans Help United States to Solve "Mexican Problem"

Bush and Congress Unite to Have Mexicans Help United States to Solve "Mexican Problem"

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President George W. Bush will sign the bill passed today by the U.S. Congress to build a wall along the entire U.S. and Mexico border. Support for the law was bipartisan and nearly unanimous as the National Border Defense and Undo...
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Funny story: "Black Hole Factory" To Destroy Planet Earth

"Black Hole Factory" To Destroy Planet Earth

GENEVA (Reuters)--Mad scientists will generate a black hole every second when the world's most powerful particle accelerator comes online here in 2007, and one of them will eventually gobble up planet Earth, acknowledges the project's creator Dr.
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Funny story: Government to open "New Labour" camps.

Government to open "New Labour" camps.

The government today announced plans for the establishment of a series of "New Labour Camps" to help the disadvantaged and the dissentious.
View 'Government to open "New Labour" camps.'
Funny story: 1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match

1-1 half-time score in Papal slanging match

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): The "evil and inhuman things" slanging match war of words between the Pope and the Islamic world has equalised today with the half-time score standing at one all following the publication of official UK St...
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Funny story: Ratzinger's fugitive hitman Caldarelli busted

Ratzinger's fugitive hitman Caldarelli busted

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Police investigating the fraud, embezzlement and extortion paper trail of Culture Secretary Tessa Jowl's shyster-lawyer husband David 'Dark Satanic' Mills have arrested a fugitive Sicilian mobster Raffaele Cal...
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Funny story: Martians Watch As NASA Builds a Spaceship Bound for Mars

Martians Watch As NASA Builds a Spaceship Bound for Mars

"The Earthlings are coming, the Earthlings are coming," Marcy Martian screamed to her husband Marvin, when she looked through their EarthSpy camera on Mars and saw that NASA had contracted (a multibillion-dollar contract!) with Lockheed Mar...
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Funny story: Pope Insults Islam in Germany

Pope Insults Islam in Germany

BAVARIA (Reuters) -- Pope Benedict has deeply offended Islam and harmed worldwide religious harmony according to government and religious leaders in the world's most populous Muslim countries, Indonesia and Pakistan.
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Funny story: Crocodile Hunter's Stingray Strikes Again

Crocodile Hunter's Stingray Strikes Again

Miami -- Florida officials are still unsure if the stingray that killed the Crocodile Hunter is the same stingray that yesterday flung a stinger 6 feet straight up the xyz of Miami swimmer Kyle Witherspoon's .. xyz .. the "xyz" referri...
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Funny story: 9/11 Doormat - as demonstrated by President G.W.Bush

9/11 Doormat - as demonstrated by President G.W.Bush

NYC, September 11, 2006 In an extraordinary sales pitch on the fifth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York City and the Pentagon, President George W. Bush announced the introduction of the "9/11 Doormat", the proceeds of w...
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Funny story: Venezuelan President Chavez's Vitriolic Blasts Rallies America Around Embattled Leader

Venezuelan President Chavez's Vitriolic Blasts Rallies America Around Embattled Leader

NEW YORK -- While Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez's United Nations address was greeted with warm applause by many diplomats in the chamber, the reaction from America has been a little hotter as Americans have rallied around their own following C...
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Funny story: Blair's 'Sign of the Beast' : W is for.......?

Blair's 'Sign of the Beast' : W is for.......?

London - (Associated Mess): It rhymes with 'banker'. That is the official verdict of political anal-lists all over the world as the controversy mounts in the UK press regarding the mysterious 'W' that has appeared on the Prime Monste...
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Funny story: ‘Croc Hunter' Steve Irwin Resurrected After Wrestling God; Puts God on Display at Australia Zoo

‘Croc Hunter' Steve Irwin Resurrected After Wrestling God; Puts God on Display at Australia Zoo

Queensland , Australia. An excited and giddy Steve ‘Croc Hunter' Irwin returned to life Saturday after being dead since September 4th, 2006. Irwin, who passed away due to a freak accident while filming a segment for a documentary involving interact...
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Funny story: Haley Joel Osment to Enter Ford Clinic

Haley Joel Osment to Enter Ford Clinic

GLENDALE, Calif. -- Haley Joel Osment is checking into the Ford Clinic, following his July 28th arrest stemming from a July 20th accident. The single-car accident occurred at about 1 a.m. as Osment was driving home alone, struck a mailbox and flippe...
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Funny story: Bush's Roosevelt/Truman taunt prompts Karmic payback

Bush's Roosevelt/Truman taunt prompts Karmic payback

Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess & ReUterus): In a desperate "bring 'em on" over-reaction to continued Senate fury over the White House's espousal of torture as a legitimate tool for fooling the American electorate, George W Bush t...
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Funny story: Brad Pitt Sets Example for Commitment-phobic Guys

Brad Pitt Sets Example for Commitment-phobic Guys

With his good looks, talent, and charming ways, Brad Pitt has long been a favorite of the ladies. His recent statement, "Angie and I will consider tying the knot when everyone else in the country who wants to be married is legally able," h...
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Funny story: George Bush Acknowledges That He is "The Devil"

George Bush Acknowledges That He is "The Devil"

WASHINGTON (AP)-Days after Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez called President George W. Bush "the devil" during a speech to the United Nations, an accusation Chavez repeated on Thursday at a church in Harlem, Bush publicly revealed that he is indeed T...
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Funny story: Reluctant Woods Plays Pass-The-Parcel With Ryder Team-mates

Reluctant Woods Plays Pass-The-Parcel With Ryder Team-mates

World number one Tiger Woods was forced to play pass-the-parcel with his team-mates as part of a US bonding exercise, despite his best efforts to avoid the game, commonly played at children's parties.
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton To Give White House Tours

Hillary Clinton To Give White House Tours

A well known location somewhere here on Earth---Hillary Clinton is going to begin giving tours of the White House, her once and future home, to all comers, domestic and foreign..
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Funny story: Merger of Air America with American Airlines to Form Left-Wing Airline Fails

Merger of Air America with American Airlines to Form Left-Wing Airline Fails

WASHINGTON, D.C. - Air America Radio, the liberal talk show network currently facing bankruptcy and which was attempting to merge with American Airlines, announced today the merger talks had halted. The merger would have created the world's firs...
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Funny story: President of Iran Says He Is The Man

President of Iran Says He Is The Man

Elyssian Fields, Iran---The President of Iran has declared He Is The Man.
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Funny story: Files reveal Mountbatten's daughter as Brown's birth mother

Files reveal Mountbatten's daughter as Brown's birth mother

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): Classified records released under the UK's 9/11 Freedom of Disinformation Act have revealed the shockingh truth behind Chancellor Gordon Brown's true parentage and name the Earl of Mountbatten's daughter Patri...
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Funny story: Bush No Stranger to Arab Sensitivities

Bush No Stranger to Arab Sensitivities

White House spokesman Tony Snow informed us recently that Bush enjoyed his 10-day vacation from Washington and had made quick work of the Algerian-born writer's Albert Camus’ 1946 novel The Stranger. While some may not consider that notion peculiar, most college students who have ever read this in literature class can testify that there is no such thing as “quick work” of The Strang...
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Funny story: Bush Deploys Troops to United Nations

Bush Deploys Troops to United Nations

The White House announced early this evening that President George W. Bush today deployed troops to the United Nations. Citing unrest and the harboring of WMD's (Weapons of Mass Delusion), President Bush brought down the full fury of the United S...
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Funny story: HP Admits to Congress That Execs Don't Know Common Word Meanings

HP Admits to Congress That Execs Don't Know Common Word Meanings

Washington, D.C. - Revelations flooded the (tender?) ears of members of a House subcommittee (and C-SPAN addicts) during a hearing to investigate Hewlett-Packard's spying activities. Not since Watergate have we witnessed covert operations like this.
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Funny story: Russian Firm Introduces New Lower-Cost Treatment for Mental Disorders

Russian Firm Introduces New Lower-Cost Treatment for Mental Disorders

Moscow-based health-care giant, Miasnikov Healtech, recently announced the public availability of BBT, an advanced lower-cost form of mental health treatment. Studies have shown that BBT is effective in reduction of symptoms of Clinical Depression, B...
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Funny story: Terror probe cops eye the Con in Conran

Terror probe cops eye the Con in Conran

London - (Associated Mess): Officers of the Metropolitan Police's Anti-Terrorist Branch have issued a statement naming London greasy-spoon cafe proprietor and serial self-publicist Terence Conran as their John Major number one head of UK organi...
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Funny story: The Redneck Demographic Shift

The Redneck Demographic Shift

DALLAS, TEXAS. Figures released by the Census Bureau show rednecks are now the single largest stereotyped Caucasian group in the United States. Rednecks make up 18 percent of the U.S. Population, edging past hillbillies at 15 percent.
View 'The Redneck Demographic Shift'
Funny story: Baby Boomer Mom Does Water Ballet in Sinkhole

Baby Boomer Mom Does Water Ballet in Sinkhole

While the U. S. government was recently releasing statistics indicating that illicit drug use was on the rise among baby boomers 50 to 59 and on the decline among young teenagers, Barbara Boomer and her daughter were providing living proof of those s...
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Funny story: Democrats and Republicans Unite to Warn Viewers of Sex and Violence on TV

Democrats and Republicans Unite to Warn Viewers of Sex and Violence on TV

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A bipartisan coalition of Democrats and Republicans, both in and out of office, have united to stop what they call the "rampant excesses of sex and violence on television."...
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Funny story: Frederico The Fruit Wrangler

Frederico The Fruit Wrangler

Once upon a time there was a boy named Frederico. A gangling, nervous dude who could barely tell you his name, without st-st-stuttering and stammering. Most nights while the other children played and ran, he sat in his room and conquered the world in a video game. Frederico was a lonely boy. At school he had no friends because he had no skills, other boys had musical talent or kung fu, some...
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Funny story: Death of Bush movie shocks TheoCons

Death of Bush movie shocks TheoCons

London - (Associated Mess): A British-made film predicting the November 2006 assassination of the world's all-time No 1 slimeball and P2 Lodge-hired presidential impersonator George W Bush is threatening to wreak havoc among middle America's...
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Funny story: The Pope Launches Catholic Lite

The Pope Launches Catholic Lite

In the latest attempt to stem the continuing decline in church attendances, the Pope has launched the Catholic Lite initiative. Catholic Lite is aimed at those who would like to be committed Catholics but when faced with attending Mass every Sunday,...
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Funny story: Lorry drivers hit with EU waste targets

Lorry drivers hit with EU waste targets

LORRY drivers will be hit with waste disposal targets from the EU as part of the UK's recycling program.
View 'Lorry drivers hit with EU waste targets'
Funny story: George Bush Reveals White House Has Dungeons and Torture Rooms

George Bush Reveals White House Has Dungeons and Torture Rooms

WASHINGTON (AP)--President George Bush on Wednesday acknowledged the existence of secret US prisons run by the CIA where innocent people are regularly tortured and denied all legal rights. In a further shocking admission, he also revealed that his ow...
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Funny story: US Congress Is Solution to World Energy Crisis

US Congress Is Solution to World Energy Crisis

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Enron, the world's largest natural gas company, today announced during a public ceremony tapping the Capitol Dome that it has solved the world energy crisis. "Our latest tests show that the Capitol produces more natural...
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Funny story: Segway Injuries Linked to Childhood Obesity, Smoking, Clinton…

Segway Injuries Linked to Childhood Obesity, Smoking, Clinton…

Bedford, NH -- A highly placed manager in the company has told this reporter that - after the most recent recall has died down - Segway has a new plan for handling any software problems associated with the popular (and first-born priced) transporter...
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Funny story: Hillary Clinton Talks About Being A Team Player

Hillary Clinton Talks About Being A Team Player

The Playboy Mansion---Hillary Clinton has inveigled her weight into the current political debate by running and offering to sling as much slime as it takes to stake her point.
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Funny story: The Ned and Tom Lamont Family Business History

The Ned and Tom Lamont Family Business History

Press Room, Cheshire-Corrigan-Radgowski State Facility, Connecticut---Ned Lamont explains his family's history in politics, the taking of the gifts of others and the giving away of the farm (not his) and the free advice behind his family tree relati...
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Funny story: Bush Announces Outsourcing of US Supreme Court

Bush Announces Outsourcing of US Supreme Court

George Bush announced, on Tuesday, that, in an era of high budget deficits, it will be necessary to take drastic steps to cut costs. The first step in reducing government spending, will be to outsource all judicial functions of the Supreme Court...
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Funny story: President Bush Cancels November Election

President Bush Cancels November Election

Assured he would definitely lose his Republican majority in both the House and the Senate with the upcoming November election, President Bush canceled the election. Sighting that we're at war and the enemy wants to get us, Bush announced al-Qae...
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Funny story: Bush Blames Global Warming on Commie Gas

Bush Blames Global Warming on Commie Gas

Upon hearing the news report that read "Methane, a gas 20 times more potent than carbon dioxide in trapping heat in the atmosphere, appears to be bubbling up from thawing permafrost at a rate five times faster than originally measured, scientists...
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Funny story: Lou Dobbs Beats the Living Crap out of Bill O'Reilly

Lou Dobbs Beats the Living Crap out of Bill O'Reilly

(CeLebNewZ) - In what can only be described as an ole' geezer's rumble, witnesses at CNN's Atlanta studios say that real life "crap" was indeed beaten out of Bill O'Reilly by Lou Dobbs after O'Reilly, on air called Dobbs...
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Funny story: Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?

Baghdad, Iraq and London, England---Once upon a time in a far away land that was not easy to find with a bright searchlight and a high road map that depicted a far forbidding forest that was overrun with weed, rocks and rolls and unwelcome agricultur...
View 'Who's Afraid Of The Big Bad Wolf?'
Funny story: Camilla pregnancy rumors: Charles buys Vlad the Impaler's ancestral pile

Camilla pregnancy rumors: Charles buys Vlad the Impaler's ancestral pile

Clarence House, London - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): The Pretender to the Throne has bought a Transylvanian bijou cottage that once belonged to his ancestor Vlad the Impaler and is renovating it in time for Camilla's confinement there next sum...
View 'Camilla pregnancy rumors: Charles buys Vlad the Impaler's ancestral pile'
Funny story: Are you crazy?

Are you crazy?

Are you crazy? Take the TeenScreen suicide test, and most likely you are. Designed, with government and Big Pharma backing and funding to penetrate society from a young age, Teen Screen is a catch all for any "mental disease", such as bitin...
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Funny story: Cheney Shooting No Accident: VP Was After Quayle

Cheney Shooting No Accident: VP Was After Quayle

CORPUS CHRISTI, Tex. -- Just when the pundits thought vice president Dick Cheney's "accidental shooting" of Texas attorney and Cheney friend Harry Whittington had faded from view, former CBS newsman Dan Rather has come out of retirement...
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Funny story: Tourettes increase 'a mystery'

Tourettes increase 'a mystery'

REPORTED cases of Tourettes Syndrome in schoolchildren in the UK have increased by at least 2500 percent over the summer period, according to the Office for National Statistics.
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Funny story: Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle

Ratzinger to pray for Blair miracle

Downing Street, London SW1 1AA - (Associated Mess): The Prime Monster's wife Cherry Bush QC has flown to the Vatican to beg the Pope to pray for a miracle to save her disaster-struck husband who faces the gallows for treason at the end of the we...
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Funny story: Eliot Spitzer Promises To Make Jobs

Eliot Spitzer Promises To Make Jobs

Attica, New York---Eliot Spitzer, the outgoing Attorney General, has begun a whirlwind tour of New York State promising meaningful jobs, free taxes, free benefits, and, of course, Free Willie as he makes an airtight case for himself to become Governo...
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Funny story: As Safe as Swimming with Sting Rays

As Safe as Swimming with Sting Rays

With what can only be called poor timing drug maker Merck's CEO Johnston S. Phillips said Vioxx was no more dangerous then swimming with a sting ray.
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Funny story: Blair Says He Will Quit As Soon As Season 7 Of The Golden Girls Is Released On DVD

Blair Says He Will Quit As Soon As Season 7 Of The Golden Girls Is Released On DVD

Tony Blair has confirmed that he will step down as prime minister of Great Britain as soon as the seventh and final series of his all time favourite sitcom, The Golden Girls, is released on DVD.
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Funny story: Doobage in Space

Doobage in Space

Way High - TheSpoof! readers may be celebrating my scoop on the recent "pot-like odor" incident on board the ISS (See: ISS Buzz Ruined) in which my scoop scooped everybody (nyah nyah) on the scoop of the century. Not to put too fine a p...
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Funny story: President Clinton gets Ticked off again, Trashes Starbucks

President Clinton gets Ticked off again, Trashes Starbucks

(LITTLE ROCK) - Little Rock police say that former President Clinton was arrested yesterday NOT because he single-handedly destroyed a Starbucks but because "after" trashing the place Clinton knowingly and willingly, still ticked the heck...
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Funny story: Donald Rumsfeld to be Shot out of a Cannon

Donald Rumsfeld to be Shot out of a Cannon

D.C. -- In a daring show of support and solidarity for our troops Donald Rumsfeld agreed to get SHOT out of a cannon over the edge of a U.S. Naval aircraft carrier into the middle of the Red Sea next week. Surprisingly many members of Congress...
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Funny story: Dumbo Supports Spray-Painting of Elephants

Dumbo Supports Spray-Painting of Elephants

Senior citizen Dumbo, his huge ears and big smile intact, held a press conference on the porch of his Los Angeles home yesterday to announce his support of the spray-painting of elephants. "A pox on those who prevent it," he said. Dumbo c...
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Funny story: Red-headed Mice Help the Neglected Tan Obsessed

Red-headed Mice Help the Neglected Tan Obsessed

BOSTON (Routers) - Scientists have devised a devilish new way to prevent sunburn and its skin-hating effects. No longer will progeny of the Caucasoid peoples have to slather on nasty goop that readily washes off with tears, ruining that wonderful day...
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Funny story: Heathrow 's Fly Zone Theme Park Up And Running

Heathrow 's Fly Zone Theme Park Up And Running

London - Ever ready to outdo itself, Heathrow management has taken a page from Disney's book, pulled the plug on boring mega-waits and turned its "security features" into attractions.
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Funny story: Libocrats' Idological Vacuum Confirmed

Libocrats' Idological Vacuum Confirmed

BETHESDA, MD-theSPOOF! (Exclusive)- Doctors at the National Institutes of Health revealed today the results of a decade long study into why libocrats (term for a mutation created by the incestuous intermingling of liberals and democrats) are a...
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Funny story: Bush to replace Blair as the British Prime Minister

Bush to replace Blair as the British Prime Minister

The House of Commons was rocked to its democratic foundations, today, when the war-loving British Prime Minister announced that George W Bush would replace him when he retires on May 6th 2007.
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Funny story: Blair installs 'ATMs for Jesus'-style cash machines for wannabee peers

Blair installs 'ATMs for Jesus'-style cash machines for wannabee peers

London, UK - (Associated Mess): Impressed by the success of the novel way in which traditional Sunday collection plates at US churches and places of worship have been replaced by the Jesus ATMs, UK Prime Monster Tony Blair has decided to by-pass th...
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Funny story: Barney, First Dog, Terrier Stricken

Barney, First Dog, Terrier Stricken

Washington, DC - The administration will crank up its war on terrier at the behest of Barney, the presidential Scottie, who has disavowed his terrier heritage, his "terriosity," as Tony Snow (former Pit Bull terrier, now claiming to be a Whippet houn...
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Funny story: Disney-ABC to take over Washington DC

Disney-ABC to take over Washington DC

Hard on the heels of their controversial "docudrama", which has almost universally been seen as inaccurately portraying the Clinton administration's response to acts of terrorism perpetrated by al Qaeda, Disney is attempting to redress...
View 'Disney-ABC to take over Washington DC'
Funny story: Hearts 'N' Minds: Bush hires Ratzinger's spin doctors

Hearts 'N' Minds: Bush hires Ratzinger's spin doctors

Washington DC - (Associated Mess): President Bush is said to be so impressed by the Vatican's astonishingly succcessful PR campaign last week which culminated in Pope Ratzinger's seminal remarks on inter-faith ecumenism that he has hired pont...
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Funny story: Bush: "I ain't done with harming the United States"

Bush: "I ain't done with harming the United States"

Washington DC - (Associated Mess): In a keynote address to the Senate yesterday, the head of the global organised crime cartel a.k.a. President George Bush Junior warned that he and the Bush Administration at Number 10 Downing Street in London were...
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Funny story: Bungs-for-Peerages probe cops find Blair smoking gun

Bungs-for-Peerages probe cops find Blair smoking gun

London - (AssocCIAted Mess): Police officers from the Met's Anti-Corruption Unit have given their strongest hint yet that they have found the smoking gun they need to bust the lame duck Prime Monster in their investigation of the bungs-for-peera...
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Funny story: ISS Buzz Ruined?

ISS Buzz Ruined?

Outta Sight! - The Space Station crew scrambled to find the source of an odd (though not unfamiliar, apparently) odor that, according to most, was "WAY like Mary Jane." NASA spokesperson Jamerson Johns then scrambled to quash rumors.
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Funny story: Labour sperm donor cops quiz Blair's gatekeeper

Labour sperm donor cops quiz Blair's gatekeeper

London - (AssoCIAted Mess): The bungs-for peerages corrpution probe that saw the arrest last week of serial political sperm donor Sir Christopher Evans of Merlin Bioscams has quizzed the Prime Monster's offical gatekeeper Ruth Turner.
View 'Labour sperm donor cops quiz Blair's gatekeeper'
Funny story: Opus Dei campaign pledges to stamp out satire

Opus Dei campaign pledges to stamp out satire

New York, New York - (Associated Mess): A new campaign to raise hundreds of millions of dollars has been launched by TheoCon self-mortification enthusiasts of the Opus Dei Foundation in a concerted effort to combat satirical sites that lampoon the...
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Funny story: MBAs Prepare to Take Over the Movie Industry

MBAs Prepare to Take Over the Movie Industry

Since the public scolding of Tom Cruise by Sumner Redstone of Viacom, it's been reported that Cruise plans to produce films independently using Wall Street money. Perhaps this is the wave of the future, with Wall Street leading the way in provid...
View 'MBAs Prepare to Take Over the Movie Industry'
Funny story: Terror report slams Bushes

Terror report slams Bushes

Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): The National Intelligence Estimate's eagerly-awaited report into the War Against Terra has concluded that the Bush Family Evil Empire has been a "cause celebre for jihadists" ever since the day when CI...
View 'Terror report slams Bushes'
Funny story: Colon Bowel slams Bush's attempt to suborn Congress

Colon Bowel slams Bush's attempt to suborn Congress

Washington DC - (AssoCIAted Mess): Former US Secretary of State General Colon Bowel has slammed his former boss George Bush's efforts to blackmail the Senate to vote-in continued Guantanamo Bay's IRA-style internment for beardie Taleban sma...
View 'Colon Bowel slams Bush's attempt to suborn Congress'
Funny story: "Corporation Hunter" Dies As He Lived

"Corporation Hunter" Dies As He Lived

Los Angeles, America -- Michael Moore died doing what he loved best, getting too close to one of the multi-billionaire CEOs he dedicated his life to hounding.
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Funny story: Poland sends in crack team to boost NATO Afghan forces

Poland sends in crack team to boost NATO Afghan forces

Warsaw - (Associated Mess): The Polish Ministry of Defense has announced that it will be sending in a crack regiment of Hussars as its contribution to the depleted NATO forces fighting Taleban smack cartels in Afghanistan.
View 'Poland sends in crack team to boost NATO Afghan forces'
Funny story: Pentagon Achieves Orgasm As Interceptor Hits Missile Over Pacific

Pentagon Achieves Orgasm As Interceptor Hits Missile Over Pacific

LOS ANGELES (UPI) - Senior officers in the Pentagon and in the Bush Administration have "finally achieved orgasm" as an interceptor missile successfully destroyed a mock warhead over the Pacific Ocean on Friday in a test of the missile-defence system...
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Funny story: Bush administration to televise torture sessions

Bush administration to televise torture sessions

WASHINGTON, DC, Tuesday In an extraordinary move designed to allay the fears of the American people that the United States will not be condoning torture as it becomes the first major nation to abandon the century-old Geneva Convention guarant...
View 'Bush administration to televise torture sessions'
Funny story: Tony Blair Resigns to Join Cameron's Conservatives

Tony Blair Resigns to Join Cameron's Conservatives

In a move that has completely stunned the nation, UK Prime Minister Tony Blair has resigned and walked across the floor of the House of Commons to join the Conservative Party.
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Funny story: Autumn equinox unleashes Hellfire Club dread

Autumn equinox unleashes Hellfire Club dread

London - (Associated Mess): Despite myriad occult rites throughout the United Kingdom yesterday invoking the legendary supernatural powers of the autumn equinox, senior grandees of the Hellfire Club are reported as powerless to stop the predicted ti...
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Funny story: George Bush Compares Islamic Freedom Fighters to Neoconservatives

George Bush Compares Islamic Freedom Fighters to Neoconservatives

SALT LAKE CITY (Reuters)--President George W. Bush on Thursday predicted an unending war on terror at a time of increasing public anxiety at home, while likening the struggle against Islamic fundamentalism with the fight against Nazis, Communists, an...
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Funny story: Dubai's McTomb raider accused of slavery

Dubai's McTomb raider accused of slavery

Miami, Florida - (Associated Mess): Dubai's ultra-dodgy horse racing fanatic ruler Shaikh Mohammed McTomb is being sued in the Florida courts accused of enslaving thousands of pre-pubescent camel jockeys in a bid to satisfy his lust for desert r...
View 'Dubai's McTomb raider accused of slavery'
Funny story: Top Russian banker shot dead: a case of assisted suicide?

Top Russian banker shot dead: a case of assisted suicide?

Moscow - (AssoCIAted Mess): The Central Bank of the Russian Federation's First Deputy Chairman Andrej Kozlov, has been gunned down in a Moscow sports park amid intense media speculation that his death may be yet another clear case of assisted su...
View 'Top Russian banker shot dead: a case of assisted suicide?'
Funny story: Tweaking The Geneva Convention

Tweaking The Geneva Convention

In a bid to avoid jail time, the Bush people are asking Congress to approve a clarification to the forty year old Geneva Convention by suggesting it is acceptable to use: the rack, frying pan, grater, and water; while interrogating prisoners of war o...
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Funny story: Bush Asks Democrats To Play Ball With Him

Bush Asks Democrats To Play Ball With Him

Arlington Stadium, Texas and Washington, D.C.---President Bush has begun challenging the Democrats to "Play ball," preferably hard ball, but any kind of fun, "non-wussy game will do," he says.
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Funny story: KGB matriarch blasts imminent funeral arrangements

KGB matriarch blasts imminent funeral arrangements

Balmoral Castle, Royal Weeside - (ReUterus & AssoCIAted mess): In an unprecedented break with tradition the materfamilias of the House of Mountbatten has lashed out angrily at reports that the Royal Funeral and Official Lying-in-State have been down...
View 'KGB matriarch blasts imminent funeral arrangements'
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