Funny story: No Lame Duck, Bush To Run In 2008

No Lame Duck, Bush To Run In 2008

Washington, D.C.- Bush 43, the 43rd president of the United States, against the better judgement and advice of Bush 41, his father and the 41st president of the United States, has decided (he is the Decider) to make a run for the White House two yea...
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Funny story: Miami University Announces Changes

Miami University Announces Changes

(Oxford, Oh) Miami University will be opening up three additional campuses in 2007, according to Dean of Student Relations, God Shamgod. "These campuses will be relatively small, compared to the main campus," Shamgod said. "But they wi...
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Funny story: White House Opens Last Can of Whoop Ass; Eats It

White House Opens Last Can of Whoop Ass; Eats It

Washington DC (AP) -- The White House found itself with only one can of Campbell's Classic Whoop Ass left in its cabinet this Tuesday night. Due to the startling lack of meal planning evinced by the administration, officials were forced to go ahe...
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Funny story: Britney Spears Offers to Console Republicans for Lousy Election Results

Britney Spears Offers to Console Republicans for Lousy Election Results

LOS ANGELES (AP)-- Pop princess Britney Spears is taking a break from her messy divorce proceedings by making a public offer to console any Republican member of Congress on a date for their loss of House and Senate control to the Democrats on Novembe...
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Funny story: Religious freedom fighters want Armistice Day white poppy

Religious freedom fighters want Armistice Day white poppy

London - (Associated Mess): Fundamentalist religious stink tanks are demanding that the Government caves in to their demands this weekend and replaces the traditional Remembrance Day red poppy with the more politically correct papaver somniferum albu...
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Funny story: Ratzinger plans to go topless for new official Vatican calendar

Ratzinger plans to go topless for new official Vatican calendar

Vatican City - (Associated Mess): Joseph Ratzinger is set to become the first Pope to launch his own Pirelli-style calendar which promises to show the Pontiff in a daring range of topless poses including traditional hardware accoutrements typical of...
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Funny story: Gay Marriages Soar in Popularity

Gay Marriages Soar in Popularity

The reactionary stance taken by religious fundamentalists is helping drive gay marriages to new heights. Same sex couples are being so shamed in their relationships that there is now a frantic rush to get down the aisle and into social respectability...
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Funny story: Democrat Mid-Term Election Gains Divide America as the South Secedes

Democrat Mid-Term Election Gains Divide America as the South Secedes

ATLANTA - America is so divided following the electoral shifts in Congress, say two prominent political scientists, the country is literally splitting in two -- as the South secedes again.
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Funny story: After Re-Taking House, Pelosi Democrats to Make Radical Changes

After Re-Taking House, Pelosi Democrats to Make Radical Changes

SAN FRANCISCO - Democrats will bring new life, new leadership and mauve curtains to a newly redecorated House of Representatives. As her first act as Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) plans bring in the "Fab Five&q...
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Funny story: Calvin Klein Introduces New Line of Textbooks

Calvin Klein Introduces New Line of Textbooks

NEW YORK, NEW YORK-In a move today that might remind you of the movie, "Weekend At Bernies," or corporations contracting to run school systems, clothing designer Calvin Klein has come up with a new way to "dress up an old white, dead g...
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Funny story: Donald Rumsfeld Quits to Look After Britney Spears' Dogs

Donald Rumsfeld Quits to Look After Britney Spears' Dogs

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - In a surprise move, US Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld, 74, has resigned "in order to look after the dogs" of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline during their messy divorce proceedings.
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Funny story: Burger King Seeks to Add Pot Burgers to Menu

Burger King Seeks to Add Pot Burgers to Menu

Due to the increased business of the Burger King location that served marijuana laced whoppers to two policemen, Burger King Corporation has announced plans to make this a regular menu item.
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Funny story: Cheney Responds to Republican Losses

Cheney Responds to Republican Losses

In response to the overwhelming Democratic victory of both houses of Congress in Tuesday's mid-term elections, U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney has decided to bury the political hatchet and seek compromise and the middle ground. Thanksgiving week...
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Funny story: Al-Qaeda, Hezbollah and Hamas Attack on American Soil

Al-Qaeda, Hezbollah and Hamas Attack on American Soil

HARRISBURG, Penn. -- Militants from Al-Qaeda, Hezbollah and Hamas advanced on Gettysburg, Pennsylvania, the Harrisburg Patriot-News reported today. A small contingent of the Pennsylvania National Guard and park rangers from the National Park Service...
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