There were 116 spoof news stories published in June 2005. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Winnie the Pooh Comes Out of the Closet

Winnie the Pooh Comes Out of the Closet

(AP) Winnie the Pooh, that silly old bear, announced at a news conference in Toon Town that he is gay. The revelation, of course, drew no astonishment from those in attendance. The surprise, however, was reserved for the revelation of his lover...
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Funny story: Hershey's Returns Tastetations to Market; Supermarket Employees Gird for Battle

Hershey's Returns Tastetations to Market; Supermarket Employees Gird for Battle

Hershey, PA--The giant candy maker Hershey's today returned the hard chocolate candy Tastetations to selected supermarkets and convenience stores, leading to mass stampedes, crushed toes, and slapped faces as dieting women battled grocery...
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Funny story: Bush to Seek Third Term

Bush to Seek Third Term

President George W. Bush announced today his intentions to seek a third term in office. When reminded that the 22nd Amendment to the U.S. Constitution limits him to two terms, Bush had this to say:...
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Funny story: Search Called Off for Missing American Teen In Aruba

Search Called Off for Missing American Teen In Aruba

ORANJESTAD, Aruba - The search for American teenager Aaron Dover was called off Friday in Aruba. Aaron Dover was reported missing Wednesday, June 15th, to Aruban authorities by his brother Ben. Ben claims he and his brother were returning from the be...
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Funny story: Cruise apologizes for Today show behavior - blames Ritalin dose

Cruise apologizes for Today show behavior - blames Ritalin dose

New York - Tom Cruise, who clashed with Today show host Matt Lauer on Friday when Lauer brought up Cruise's earlier criticism of Brook Shields for taking anti-depressants, issued an apology today for his belligerent behavior from Hollywood.
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Funny story: Dan Brown's next novel to focus on "gay" founding fathers

Dan Brown's next novel to focus on "gay" founding fathers

Philadelphia, PA -- Dan Brown, the controversial novelist that brought the world such blockbusters as The Da Vinci Code and Angels and Demons, announced today that his latest novel will expose the "blatant homosexuality" practiced by th...
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Funny story: Jimmy Buffet Confesses, "It Was Right Here All Along"

Jimmy Buffet Confesses, "It Was Right Here All Along"

Key West, FLA--Guru of Parrotheads around the globe, Jimmy Buffet, made a shocking confession regarding his signature song, Margaritaville. The confession has stunned fans, promoters and musicians alike.
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Funny story: Miscommunications Mar Mubarak/Bush Dialog

Miscommunications Mar Mubarak/Bush Dialog

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President Bush urged Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak on Wednesday to show the world his country can set an example for others by holding free and fair presidential elections. "You first!" Mubarak responded after an ext...
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Funny story: Public Outrage Kills KKK Detergent Ad

Public Outrage Kills KKK Detergent Ad

International fury has erupted after the airing of a TV commercial using the Ku Klux Klan to promote a new laundry detergent.
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Funny story: Bob Dylan drops out, turns on, tunes in to Starbucks

Bob Dylan drops out, turns on, tunes in to Starbucks

Seattle, WA - Counter-culture icon Bob Dylan joined the ranks of other sixties-era sellouts today by agreeing to further the marketing agenda of mega-trendy four-dollar coffee retailer, Starbucks.
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Funny story: G8 forgives Gordon Brown's credit card debt

G8 forgives Gordon Brown's credit card debt

London. The Group of Eight (G8) Finance ministers, after meeting for a second day in London, reached a tentative agreement to forgive 100% of the debt owed by 18 countries. They have also agreed in principle to forgive all credit card debt fo...
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Funny story: International Space Station Downgraded to Junk Status

International Space Station Downgraded to Junk Status

CAPE CANAVERAL, Florida (AP) The space shuttle Discovery reluctantly returned to the launch pad for its first mission since the Columbia disaster, shooting for a July 13 lift-off date. But in an ominous foreshadowing, the journey from the assembly bu...
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Funny story: Recent Earthquakes in California Rattle US Prestige

Recent Earthquakes in California Rattle US Prestige

Four significant quakes have struck California within a week and have caused fears abroad and even triggered a tsunami warning when a 7.1 magnitude struck 90 miles off the coast. Many citizens fear that the recent quakes would foreshadow "The Big On...
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Funny story: Republicans See Anti-Bush Agenda in All Lucas Films

Republicans See Anti-Bush Agenda in All Lucas Films

The recent release of "Star Wars; Revenge of the Sith" has been met with much protest by Republicans who see this as an attack on President Bush and the war in Iraq. In an interview conducted yesterday by 60 Minutes correspondent...
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Funny story: Sandhurst stunt sparks security probe into Harry bomb scare

Sandhurst stunt sparks security probe into Harry bomb scare

A bomb dropped when Prince Harry was lost in training for over 7 hours yesterday. The Sandhurst alarm bells started ringing after Harry did not return from a rough and tough 5 mile cross country course which would normally take the most able cadets a...
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Funny story: Russell Crowe - It's Just Not Boxing!

Russell Crowe - It's Just Not Boxing!

After recently spending time with Aussie boxing champion, Kostya Tszyu, Australian Russell Crowe 41, was out to test the waters. When the telephone in his hotel room didn't work he approached the porter in the lobby. Russell did his best to provoke a...
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Funny story: Prince William - "I want to be King of People's Hearts. Yah?"

Prince William - "I want to be King of People's Hearts. Yah?"

Prince William has spoken of his desire to make the monarchy relevant in the modern world. "We can't live in the past. The days are gone when the people of Britain would accept a king who is out of touch with them and the world. A modern monarch...
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Funny story: Schedule Revealed for "Who Wants To Be a Hilton?"

Schedule Revealed for "Who Wants To Be a Hilton?"

Network executives leaked to the press today the schedule for the upcoming reality series "Who Wants To Be a Hilton?" The show will star the mother of the famous Hilton sisters and will try to turn a group of middle, lower, and classless people into...
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Funny story: Cat Fax Fever

Cat Fax Fever

An assassination attempt, in the city of Kobe in Japan, was foiled recently by the quick actions of local police, fire, and animal control officials. It seems two small kittens, perhaps outraged by the commonplace use of cat meat in Japanese cuisine...
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Funny story: Republican senators pass law forcing new trial for Michael Jackson

Republican senators pass law forcing new trial for Michael Jackson

A group of Republican senators rushed to Washington in the middle of the night to pass emergency legislation to force a retrial in the recently concluded Michael Jackson child molestation case.
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Funny story: Toyota aims to sell ‘helper' robots by 2010

Toyota aims to sell ‘helper' robots by 2010

TOKYO -- Toyota Motor Corp plans to start selling robots that can help look after elderly people or serve tea to guests by 2010, the Asahi daily reported on Tuesday. Dr. Tadamitsu Masaki of the Toyota Institute for Really Fun Projects (TIRFP) said t...
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Funny story: A Tom Cruise Bride Born Today

A Tom Cruise Bride Born Today

The future Mrs. Tom Cruise in the year 2025 was born today in Amarillo, Texas. Twenty years from now, looking just as handsome and boyish with his 400 watt smile, trim body and shaved, checker board head (for a new film role) Tom will be expounding t...
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Funny story: National Debt reaches $7,826,689,777,692.15, Bush Plans National Debt Payment Plan

National Debt reaches $7,826,689,777,692.15, Bush Plans National Debt Payment Plan

The national debt has been reported to be only $7,826,689,777,692.15 as of the 30th of June, 2005. That's only a couple trillion more than all others countries combined. So what does this mean? It means that, according to the estimated population her...
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Funny story: 'Snooker Loopy' line-up reforms for Live 8

'Snooker Loopy' line-up reforms for Live 8

LONDON - Music fans across the globe were celebrating Monday, as Live 8 organisers revealed the legendary supergroup behind rock classic 'Snooker Loopy' had left old differences aside to lend their support to the mass free concert to help Afr...
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Funny story: True - but thats life !

True - but thats life !

This is absolutely true A couple of days ago, I was ripping Cd's to my PC Music Library. I used one of these programmes that let you put cd in slot, then they fill in all the details of artist, track title, etc, from their details to use in your music library.
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Funny story: 500 lb. Bigfoot Baby Spots Elvis in UFO

500 lb. Bigfoot Baby Spots Elvis in UFO

(AP) Reginald Toaster, the famous 500 pound baby (now aged 17) allegedly fathered by Bigfoot, reported to the Ft. Smith, Arkansas Police Department that he had seen the late Elvis Presley. "The King was dressed in his famous white jumpsuit. I done...
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Funny story: "Siamese" Twin Breasts Survive Separation Surgery

"Siamese" Twin Breasts Survive Separation Surgery

Hollywood, California - Conjoined twin breasts, known publicly as "The Girls" were successfully separated after nearly 12 hours of surgery, yesterday. The two breasts were said to have shared one nipple and mammary glands.
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Funny story: Bono Does Africa

Bono Does Africa

"It will be the visible hand of the State that will finally alleviate the curse of poverty from the blighted continent of Africa" , remarked Bono, the lead singer of Irish rock band U2. "I have been assured by Gordon Brown - with w...
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Funny story: Five year old Math Genius Still Too Stupid for College Level Calculus

Five year old Math Genius Still Too Stupid for College Level Calculus

Three times a week, at Demster University, a calculus class meets for lecture. It is early. 8:00 AM. For a college student, this is brutal. One hundred and fifty students enter the doors and take their seats. Most drink coffee to wake themselves up. Some listen to IPods. Others read the student paper or talk with friends. But one bright student, sitting in the front of class is drawing with his cr...
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Funny story: Official News - Fox News Makes the News

Official News - Fox News Makes the News

BREAKING NEWS - NEWS BREAKING - Due to the lack of news in the world and the drab boring snippets that are being aired by the planets media channels Fox News have taken matters into their own hands and are trying to improve the quality of reports.
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Funny story: Japan Sells Supersized "Blue Whale Burger," McDonald's to Follow

Japan Sells Supersized "Blue Whale Burger," McDonald's to Follow

TOKYO (UPI)-In a move that has enraged environmentalists, a fast food chain in Japan has begun offering a supersized "Blue Whale Burger" even as anti-whaling nations urged Japan to cut back on its whale catch at an international conference on whaling...
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Funny story: NBC to Shoot Mormon Version of the Bachelor

NBC to Shoot Mormon Version of the Bachelor

In an effort to revive the once popular reality TV show, NBC has announced it will start shooting a brand new series of The Bachelor in Salt Lake City.
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Funny story: N.O.W. Demands KFC Change the Menu

N.O.W. Demands KFC Change the Menu

The National Organization of Women has issued demands that Kentucky Fried Chicken and the other chicken chain restaurants change the names of their menu items. Under the plan by N.O.W., customers would no longer purchase and eat breasts, thighs, and...
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Funny story: Catholic Church Revives Inquisition, Seeks Interview With Dan Brown

Catholic Church Revives Inquisition, Seeks Interview With Dan Brown

THE VATICAN-In a move that has impressed observers with its new Conservative orientation, the Catholic Church under the new Pope Benedict XVl, the former Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger, has fully resurrected the medieval Holy Inquisition and assigned it t...
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Funny story: Wimbledon: Henman confident of defeat

Wimbledon: Henman confident of defeat

London. 2nd June. With just under three weeks to go until the start of Wimbledon, Tim Henman has said he's confident of repeating his past performances of woeful inadequacy. Fresh from romping home to defeat at the French Open last week the Brit...
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Funny story: Fashion Police Issue Joint Warrant For Osama bin Laden's Arrest

Fashion Police Issue Joint Warrant For Osama bin Laden's Arrest

The Fashion Police, in a joint effort with the Fun Police, have issued a warrant for Osama bin Laden's arrest after repeated violations, apparently caught on tape.
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Funny story: Falling Indicators Narrowly Miss Greenspan

Falling Indicators Narrowly Miss Greenspan

Alan Greenspan, Chairman of the Federal Reserve for Life, continues to be upbeat about the economy and is spear-heading a new campaign to return consumer confidence. Project, "So, You Think You've Got it Bad?" features chances to win free trip...
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Funny story: Nothing's On The Menu: No-Carb Foods Growing In Popularity

Nothing's On The Menu: No-Carb Foods Growing In Popularity

Restaurants are adding "air-based" foods to their menus in an attempt to cater to what marketing strategists codename "the really, really, really, really carb-conscious customer".
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Funny story: Fogle and Subway Split

Fogle and Subway Split

Washington, WA. Jared Fogle, the international face of Subway, has parted company with his employers, according to reports. The acrimonious split first came to light when Fogle was spotted at a rival fast food 'restaurant' indulging in high...
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Funny story: CIA chief has 'excellent idea' where bin Laden is hiding

CIA chief has 'excellent idea' where bin Laden is hiding

Washington, DC - Porter Goss, the recently appointed director of the CIA says he has an "excellent idea" as to the whereabouts of Osama bin Laden. In an interview with TIME magazine, Goss repeatedly made this claim but claimed that capturing the al...
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Funny story: Fourth Little Piggy Sues Arby's

Fourth Little Piggy Sues Arby's

The fourth Little Piggy has filed a discrimination suit against the Arby's restaurant chain due to their refusal to serve him a roast beef sandwich. In a press conference his cousin's house made of bricks, the Pig said: "I was hungry and just wa...
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Funny story: Windows to be Sold Without Media Player

Windows to be Sold Without Media Player

BRUSSELS (Reuters) - Microsoft will release a version of its Windows operating system without the Media Player application on June 15 to comply with European Union anti-monopoly rules, the company said on Wednesday. A spokesperson for Microsoft repo...
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Funny story: Queen to watch Prince William collect university degree in the geography of Eigg

Queen to watch Prince William collect university degree in the geography of Eigg

Eigg is the second largest of ‘The Small Isles' and is located in the zone between the Isle of Skye to the north and the Ardamurchan peninsula to the south. Eigg, at some 8km by 6km is more than large enough for its 60 inhabitants.
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Funny story: United States Army Recruits Pee Wee Herman for Iraq

United States Army Recruits Pee Wee Herman for Iraq

Washington (AP) -The United States army has proudly recruited Pee Wee Herman to beef up its flagging war effort in Iraq.
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Funny story: Ferrari Announce Plans to Enter High Performance Wheelchair Market

Ferrari Announce Plans to Enter High Performance Wheelchair Market

The high-end Italian car manufacturer - Ferrari announced their plans to enter the wheelchair market at a press conference in Milan today. Market reaction to the announcement was mixed with the company's stock closing trading up a $1 - a one day...
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Funny story: Ahmadinejad says Iran has needs, too

Ahmadinejad says Iran has needs, too

Tehran-The surprise victory of the arch-conservative religious hard-liner Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to the Presidency in Iran has given pause to Middle Eastern scholars the world-over, and in Washington especially.
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Funny story: C.D.C. Determines that Laboratories Cause Cancer in Rats

C.D.C. Determines that Laboratories Cause Cancer in Rats

The Centers for Disease Control, in a joint study with the Food and Drug Administration, the Mayo Clinic, and Johns Hopkins University announced today that laboratories cause cancer in expiremenatal test rodent subjects.
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Funny story: To Hell With Energy Efficiency, Let's Party! Say Bush, Cheney

To Hell With Energy Efficiency, Let's Party! Say Bush, Cheney

WASHINGTON, DC-American President George W. Bush has officially condemned energy efficiency and energy conservation as a way of revitalizing the U.S. economy, even as oil prices reach new highs.
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Funny story: Ellen Macarthur -- A Dame Fine Performance

Ellen Macarthur -- A Dame Fine Performance

In a modern world apparently devoid of a half decent spiritual exemplar, yachtswoman Ellen Macarthur was today trumpeted as the latest demigod elect as she triumphantly sailed into Falmouth harbour following her successful record-breaking circumcisio...
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Funny story: George Bush Embraces Sith and Dark Side of the Force

George Bush Embraces Sith and Dark Side of the Force

WASHINGTON, DC--United States President George W. Bush has embraced the Sith and the Dark Side of the Force, saying that it's "no more Mr. Nice Guy" in the ongoing fight against insurgents in Iraq.
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Funny story: Fortune-Teller Accurately Predicts 1985; Scientists Baffled

Fortune-Teller Accurately Predicts 1985; Scientists Baffled

Researchers announced today that an internationally renowned seer has successfully predicted events of 1985 under strictly controlled conditions. Using a Ride Waite tarot deck manufactured in 1985, Leroi Abathakathi, a prominent New Orleans psychic,...
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Funny story: The Latest Scoop on the Ice Cream Flavor Wars

The Latest Scoop on the Ice Cream Flavor Wars

Tired of being ignored, neglected and out-classed by more exotic alternatives, vanilla, chocolate and strawberry are determined to return to their former glory and melt the competition.
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Funny story: Spielberg's ‘War of the Worlds' Turns Americans Into Fearful, Raving Paranoids

Spielberg's ‘War of the Worlds' Turns Americans Into Fearful, Raving Paranoids

MENLO PARK, CA-Americans have been turned into fearful, raving paranoids by the release of Steven Spielberg's remake of the movie ‘War of the Worlds' starring Tom Cruise on June 29, observed Dr. Felix Minderbinder, a Psychiatrist with the Stanford Re...
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Funny story: George Romero Scheduled for Express Elevator to Oblivion

George Romero Scheduled for Express Elevator to Oblivion

(Hollywood)--Anyone who doesn't know who George Romero is has either been living under a rock or else is one of the Undead this director used to create his…um…moderately successful "Zombie" franchise. After his release of the cult classic "...
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Funny story: Runaway Bride Kidnapped (again), Community Apathetic

Runaway Bride Kidnapped (again), Community Apathetic

Duluth, GA - Jennifer Wilbanks, the woman who faked her own kidnapping in April to avoid her wedding, has disappeared from her suburban Atlanta home just one day before she was scheduled to appear in court.
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Funny story: Creditors threaten to fill-in the Channel Tunnel

Creditors threaten to fill-in the Channel Tunnel

Paris-Eurotunnel, operator of the Channel Tunnel, admitted on Thursday that a cash crisis is imminent, and that it had less than four months to come up with a workable financial plan to deal with its mountain of debt-or its Creditors will fill...
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Funny story: British youths to participate in exchange scheme with Iraqi insurgents

British youths to participate in exchange scheme with Iraqi insurgents

Wednesday. Manchester. UK. Community leaders in Salford, the Manchester suburb, have today announced ambitious new plans to combat the alarming rise in crimes amongst teenage youths.
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Funny story: Developers Use Eminent Domain to Acquire White House

Developers Use Eminent Domain to Acquire White House

President Bush was stunned today when he was told by his Housing and Urban Development Director that he & Laura would have to vacate the White House no later than noon on Monday. The HUD Director said he made his best effort to stop the acquisition o...
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Funny story: First Three Cars Scrapped -- Danica Wins!!!

First Three Cars Scrapped -- Danica Wins!!!

Indianapolis Indiana The first three cars have been disqualified from the Indy 500. The new winner is Danica Patrick. An anonymous source says that after the mandatory impounding of the cars after the race two of the first three were found to...
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Funny story: Michael Jackson Guilty of Live 8 Ticket Scandal

Michael Jackson Guilty of Live 8 Ticket Scandal

Barely one day after being found Not Guilty of allegations that he brought the high office of Pontiff into disrepute, well known pyjama catwalk model, Michael Jackson, has been caught, in flagrante, conducting an auction for his complimentary pair of...
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Funny story: Surgeon General's Office Finds Multiple New Problems with Smoking

Surgeon General's Office Finds Multiple New Problems with Smoking

The Surgeon General's office released a report today that cigarette smoking contains dangers other than just lung and throat cancer. Dewey Flintlock, official spokesman, said in an interview that these dangers are far reaching. "Have you ever notic...
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Funny story: Drinking and Driving: Where the only victims are the drivers themselves.

Drinking and Driving: Where the only victims are the drivers themselves.

As not only a proud supporter of drinking and driving, I think that people make too big a deal out of drunk driving. Who reading this has not had a few drinks and has taken the option of driving? If you have you understand how much better it is. Not only do you save the extra $50 you would have paid for a taxi, but that extra $50 is now availble in getting your self more hammered. Everybody...
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Funny story: Team Zissou Does It Again

Team Zissou Does It Again

In an astounding announcement on the deck of the Belafonte, at anchor in the Baring Straight, Oceanographer Steve Zissou shocked the world with his latest discovery.
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Funny story: Summertime: A Time For Hot Dogs, The Beach and Impeachment

Summertime: A Time For Hot Dogs, The Beach and Impeachment

Well, it's summertime and and once again Washington watchers are gearing up for that age old pastime: that's right folks...it's Impeachment Season. The warm and balmy months in our nations capitol are traditionally a time for frolicking poolside and attempting to bring down our nations leaders. It will be remembered by the half dozen Americans who actually pay attention to what...
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Funny story: Ozzy Osbourne - Prince of Darkness? Really!

Ozzy Osbourne - Prince of Darkness? Really!

Darkness, England - Buckingham Palace announced today that Her Majesty, The Queen, has sought to bestow the title of "The Prince of Darkness" upon Mr. Ozzy Osbourne. Darkness , a small town 45kilometers south of London, is delighted by the prospect...
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Funny story: Europe engulfed in war after EU talks collapse.

Europe engulfed in war after EU talks collapse.

Enraged at British Prime Minister Tony Blair's stance during last week's summit talks about the EU constitution, Germany lashed out by invading several European nations, and attacked London with wave after wave of propeller-driven bomber plan...
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Funny story: Jets Are Lost For Space

Jets Are Lost For Space

New York Jets Now Homeless, Are Worried About Their Future!!...
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Funny story: Bush Establishes "Homeland Youth" Corps

Bush Establishes "Homeland Youth" Corps

WASHINGTON, DC (UPI)-President George W. Bush has established a "Homeland Youth Corps" to educate and indoctrinate America's children into loyally serving their country, and to make them more likely to accept a future military draft.
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Funny story: 'Create your own blood' vessels grows scientists' engineering success into brain transplants

'Create your own blood' vessels grows scientists' engineering success into brain transplants

London based scientists have raced ahead in the search for Enhanced Artificial & Natural Intelligence (EANI) by discovering how to grow their own blood vessels into natural objects including Citrullus vulgaris.
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Funny story: United States Government Declares Bankruptcy, Seeks Protection from Creditors

United States Government Declares Bankruptcy, Seeks Protection from Creditors

WASHINGTON, DC--The United States government has declared bankruptcy and entered Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection from its creditors.
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Funny story: Politcal Analysts Say Bush is a ‘Lame Duck'

Politcal Analysts Say Bush is a ‘Lame Duck'

Some are calling him a ‘Quack'. Some say he is the Daffiest and Daftest person to have ever been elected President of the United States. Now, the American people have started Crying Fowl. And political analysts are declaring that George W. Bush is...
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Funny story: Bush Urges Patience in Iraq War, Explains His Idea of Democracy

Bush Urges Patience in Iraq War, Explains His Idea of Democracy

FORT BRAGG, NC--President Bush appealed last night to the American people to show patience and resolve in his relentless and brutal quest for Iraqi oil. He acknowledged that the Iraq war is increasingly unpopular, and that Iraq had no links to the Se...
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Funny story: New Fall Line-Ups Announced for TV Networks

New Fall Line-Ups Announced for TV Networks

Television programmers and executives announced six additional shows today for their fall line-ups. CBS Vice President Bart Clicker said: "We all had some shows that were on the bubble, like Joan of Arcadia and Arrested Development. Now that the de...
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Funny story: Bolton nomination delayed again by dimwitted Democrats

Bolton nomination delayed again by dimwitted Democrats

Washington, DC - Once again, the nomination of John Bolton has been delayed by Democratic leaders bent on exposing the current undersecretary of state for arms control as having conflicting agendas. Bolton, who Senator Joseph Biden (D-Delaware) desc...
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Funny story: Kozlowski takes up kick-boxing, gets ink in anticipation of prison sentence

Kozlowski takes up kick-boxing, gets ink in anticipation of prison sentence

Brooklyn, NY - Convicted corporate felon Dennis Kozlowski has apparently begun preparations for his inevitable stay in the New York State prison system. Enlisting advice from famed executive prison induction counselor and convicted felon, Curtis Way...
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Funny story: Deep Throat Comes Forward, Laments Pseudonym

Deep Throat Comes Forward, Laments Pseudonym

Former FBI Deputy Director Mark Felt revealed to a stunned world Tuesday that he was in fact "Deep Throat," the infamous informant who played a crucial role in bringing down the Nixon administration in 1974 in the wake of the Watergate scandal. Felt...
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Funny story: Jerry Springer and "Date" party in Florida

Jerry Springer and "Date" party in Florida

Miami, Florida - Yes, that's right… but, wow, Jerry's dating again! Tabloid TV tycoon Jerry Springer, after a much publicized break up with longtime girlfriend, Bambi Bung, has once again, or for the first time, found true love.
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Funny story: Supreme Court - Property not so private anymore

Supreme Court - Property not so private anymore

Washington, DC - In a stunning decision which harkens to the writings of French anarchist Pierre-Joseph Proudhon (who coined the slogan "property is theft"), the US Supreme Court has ruled that local governments can seize private property for private...
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Funny story: Washington To Run Country On Hot Air

Washington To Run Country On Hot Air

In a convoluted, contorted and hard to decipher effort to produce an energy policy, any energy policy, President Bush has proposed running this country on hot air. "It's free. It's overabundant in Washington and we don't have to do much of anything...
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Funny story: Bush to Limbaugh: It's Time To Clean Up, Rush

Bush to Limbaugh: It's Time To Clean Up, Rush

In what critics deride as a cheap political trick to score points with environmentalists, President Bush has issued popular talk radio personality Rush Limbaugh an ultimatum: "Mr. Limbaugh, it's time to clean up your environment! Yo...
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Funny story: Toys "R" Us Develops "Kiddie" Arrest Kit

Toys "R" Us Develops "Kiddie" Arrest Kit

Toys "R" Us, national toy store chain, announced today that they have developed a "Kiddie" arrest kit to use with juvenile offenders. Reviewing the increase in grade school and sometimes, even pre-school crime, toy developers saw the need for age ap...
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Funny story: Popularity of ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith' Film Reveals Mass Psychosis, Claims Psychiatrist

Popularity of ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith' Film Reveals Mass Psychosis, Claims Psychiatrist

MENLO PARK, CA-The extreme popularity of the newly released film ‘Mr. & Mrs. Smith' which glorifies mass murder by two of Hollywood's most popular stars reveals a large-scale psychosis in the American movie-going audience, and likely in the general U...
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Funny story: French break with tradition and refuse to surrender

French break with tradition and refuse to surrender

France. Wednesday. 1st June. Jacque Chirac was forced to appoint a new Prime Minister yesterday after Monday's disastrous vote on the EU Constitution met with a resounding ‘non'. The result has badly affected the French President who had campaign...
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Funny story: Bum smuggled into Sandhurst

Bum smuggled into Sandhurst

Buckingham Palace and Her Majesty Elton John have reacted strongly to reports that a bum was smuggled into Sandhurst Military Nursery by a leading chip paper distributor.
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Funny story: Milwaukee claims Monopoly in 'People Who Say Bubbler' Market

Milwaukee claims Monopoly in 'People Who Say Bubbler' Market

A study released today by Refreshment magazine claims that Milwaukee has a Monopoly in a very selective area: 'The People Who Say Bubbler' Market. Milwaukee Mayor Tom Barrett plans to honor the news with the announcement of the construction of a huge bubbler adjacent to Calatrava's addition to the Milwaukee Art Museum.
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Funny story: Jackson Found Guilty!

Jackson Found Guilty!

Cedar Rapid, IA - After weeks of testimony and hours of deliberation the verdict is finally in. Art Jackson is a badass!...
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Funny story: Imprisoned Saddam embracing American culture

Imprisoned Saddam embracing American culture

Baghdad, Iraq - Held in a US military compound awaiting trail for crimes against the people of Iraq, Saddam Hussein has been slowly warming up to Hollywood's version of American culture under the tutelage of US National Guardsmen.
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Funny story: Bible Belts Pissing Off Bible Belt; Christian Coalition

Bible Belts Pissing Off Bible Belt; Christian Coalition

A new brand of belts manufactured using the leather coverings of recycled Bibles, (i.e. "Bible Belts") is tightening the nerves of America's Bible Belt, the geographical region known for its fundamentalist brand of Protestant Christianity and strict interpretation of the Bible. "It's blasphemy!" says Ralph Reed, former head of the Christian Coalition and majo...
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Funny story: Senator Durbin Persuaded to Apologize for Gitmo Remarks

Senator Durbin Persuaded to Apologize for Gitmo Remarks

WASHINGTON, DC--(Reuters)--Under fire from Republicans, Senator Dick Durbin apologized Tuesday for comparing American torturers at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp to Nazis and other infamous users of torture.
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Funny story: Mike The Mayor's Olympic Plea

Mike The Mayor's Olympic Plea

New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg took his quest to host the 2012 Olympic Games to Accra, Ghana in a vainglory effort to convince a group of twenty poor, harried, unsympathetic International Olympic officials why the Richest City in the World des...
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Funny story: Radio DJ Fired For Having No Face

Radio DJ Fired For Having No Face

Ireland - The presenter of the popular Irish national radio show 'Gardener's Gripes', a show that helps solve listener's gardening problems, Colm Hargreaves, was today acrimoniously sacked by executives of RTE Radio (Ireland...
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Funny story: Oil Shortages Will Doom Most Everybody Says New Book

Oil Shortages Will Doom Most Everybody Says New Book

NEW YORK--Most of the people of the planet earth are utterly doomed as global oil supplies peak and run out, and energy prices skyrocket, warns the American social critic and author James Howard Kunstler in his latest book "The Long Emergency: Sur...
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Funny story: Bush Has New Middle Earth Peace Strategy: "We Got The Ring, So Let's Use It"

Bush Has New Middle Earth Peace Strategy: "We Got The Ring, So Let's Use It"

Called in to broker a peace agreement in the nearby universe of Middle Earth, President Bush has analyzed the political situation involving the war against the Dark Lord Sauron and come to the following conclusions: "I'm thinking the only w...
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Funny story: Terrorist alert level raised to extremely high in U.S. after "hilarious" phone call

Terrorist alert level raised to extremely high in U.S. after "hilarious" phone call

An unidentified man placed a phone-call to the Oval Office this morning, demanding to talk with the President, "or else".
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Funny story: Iraqi Insurgency Could Last 1200 years, Rumsfeld Warns

Iraqi Insurgency Could Last 1200 years, Rumsfeld Warns

WASHINGTON, DC--The Iraqi insurgency could stretch on for more than a 1000 years, U.S. Defence Secretary Donald Rumsfeld said as he played down recent meetings between American officials and resistance leaders.
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Funny story: Hypernasopharyngeality linked to Stupidity

Hypernasopharyngeality linked to Stupidity

Today's issue of The Journal of the Ameriman Medical Association contained the results of clinical trials conducted by the Harvid Medical School Department of Psychonasopharyngealology that evaluated the correlation between Hypernasopharyngeali...
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Funny story: 200,000 brain cells perish at last night's kegger, city mourns

200,000 brain cells perish at last night's kegger, city mourns

Citizens of the city gathered today as a part of the service to mourn the loss of 200,000 brain cells. This is the largest loss the city has seen since the four-city-blocks-long block party of '82.
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Funny story: Oops! He Did It Again!

Oops! He Did It Again!

Unhappy with his frustrating experiences in the Democratic primaries and with opposition to his cantankerous approach to on the record political business, Howard Dean, the gadfly of modern politics, has taken out his Munchausen by proxy syndrome ange...
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Funny story: Rumsfeld victim of Identity Theft… For about a day

Rumsfeld victim of Identity Theft… For about a day

Washington, DC - Secret Service spokesperson Vanessa Star confirmed today that US Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld was a brief victim of identity theft last week. The confessed thief, Larry Greenwald of Roanoke, Virginia, voluntarily turned hims...
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Funny story: Deep Throat or Ben & Jerry's

Deep Throat or Ben & Jerry's

The revelation that Deep Throat was the former deputy director of the FBI brings a close to a mysterious chapter in American history or does it? Could there have been more than one Deep Throat...
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