Funny story: A strange substance found underground in a heretofore unknown place called Oscoda

A strange substance found underground in a heretofore unknown place called Oscoda

GRANTVILLE, Pa. -- I love scientists. These are people who devote their lives to the tiny things that usually become monstrously large things in all of our lives. Scientists are devoted, dedicated, destined for greatness, dolled up for dinner and delicately deliberate in their discoveries. So imagine how excited I was when I learned that scientists revealed that they have identified a micro...
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Funny story: Matt Drudge Wins Pulitzer Prize!

Matt Drudge Wins Pulitzer Prize!

NEW YORK (AP) The Pulitzer Organization announced this morning that Matt Drudge would be the recipient of the 2004 Pulitzer Prize for Explanatory Reporting. Mr. Drudge received the Pulitzer Prize for his clear, concise and comprehensive stories that...
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Funny story: Car Washing Surpasses Sex as Favorite Activity in Suburbia

Car Washing Surpasses Sex as Favorite Activity in Suburbia

Recently collected data confirm that weekend car washing by spouses has surpassed sex as the most frequent, and the most enjoyable, activity in suburbia, with lawn mowing, leaf blowing, and powerwashing tied for third place. Tied for fourth place wer...
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Funny story: L.L. Bean Now Knows Your Order Before You Verbalize It

L.L. Bean Now Knows Your Order Before You Verbalize It

In an effort to add increased value to its already well-regarded customer service, the Freeport, Maine-based retailer L.L. Bean can now determine a customer's order before the customer gives the item number.
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Funny story: Lakers Suffer Emotional Collapse

Lakers Suffer Emotional Collapse

ESPN, June 14, 2004. Game 5 of the NBA Championships, scheduled for Tuesday night, has been indefinitely postponed. The LA Lakers, unable to play, have been bussed to an undisclosed location where they are being treated for Emotional Discomb...
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Funny story: Joan Collins deported to Afghanistan

Joan Collins deported to Afghanistan

In the aftermath of the Euro 2004 elections, the UKIP has announced that it is to establish links with Ian Paisley's DUP, which topped the poll in Northern Ireland. We understand that the UKIP has agreed to renegotiate the Good Friday Agreement...
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Funny story: Electrolux Recalls 3.2 Million Vacuum Cleaners

Electrolux Recalls 3.2 Million Vacuum Cleaners

Electrolux Group announced last week a recall of all canister vacuum cleaners made by the company since 1949. The worldwide recall follows several dozen incidents in which small children have been sucked up by the vacuum's strong motor. A Newark,...
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Funny story: Croc Hunter in Deep Guano Again

Croc Hunter in Deep Guano Again

SYDNEY, Australia -- "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin is in deep guano again - this time for allegedly taking indecent liberties with a Humpback Whale in the ocean off Antarctica.
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Funny story: Zidane crowned on Stone of Destiny

Zidane crowned on Stone of Destiny

International relations took an unusual turn last night when members of a secret Scottish order invited French striker Zinedine Zidane to be crowned King of Scotland.
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Funny story: Royal Ascot cancelled: foot and mouth outbreak

Royal Ascot cancelled: foot and mouth outbreak

(Ascot, Berkshire; Monday) Amid scenes of panic and hysteria at the bookies' rails, this year's Royal meeting at Ascot racecourse has been officially cancelled due to a sudden outbreak of foot in mouth disease in the jockeys' weighing ro...
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Funny story: Diany Rigby addresses HPS students

Diany Rigby addresses HPS students

Park yourselves submissive students and read carefully what I have to say. First of all there are a lot of library books that haven’t been returned to the school, just because we don’t enforce any fines, students think they can take advantage of us.
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Funny story: "Dolphins Use Clam Shell Internet", Claims Biologist

"Dolphins Use Clam Shell Internet", Claims Biologist

Marine biologist Douglas Denver, claims that after conducting a secretive underwater study, he's seen proof that dolphins have a sophisticated underwater communication network using discarded fishing nets and clamshells.
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Funny story: Rogue Angel Found Working in Medical Clinic

Rogue Angel Found Working in Medical Clinic

An angel (pictured) has been found working in a medical clinic in Houndsworth, England. Staff at the centre became suspicious when their patients' health suddenly began to improve drastically, and when the angel, who had been using the name Thomas Mc...
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Funny story: "Space Turned Me Black," Claims Armstrong

"Space Turned Me Black," Claims Armstrong

American astronaut Neil Armstrong has today revealed that pressure aboard his famed moon landing spacecraft has caused his skin to turn black. In a statement released today he claimed; "We weren't ready for space travel in the sixties, but Kennedy fo...
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Funny story: Colin Powell: Not a Happy Camper...Needs New Gear

Colin Powell: Not a Happy Camper...Needs New Gear

Secretary of State Colin Powell has characterized himself as "not a happy camper" during comments made regarding the 2003 Terrorism Report debacle. While this reporter has no idea what the Terrorism Report is all about, one can easily understand what...
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Funny story: No pasta please, we're British

No pasta please, we're British

The ‘Back Britain' campaign has bounced back.
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Funny story: Vin Diesel Accepts VP Nod

Vin Diesel Accepts VP Nod

AP, Hollywood, Stardate 17549. Democrats unanimously praised the choice of Vin Diesel as the answer to the 2004 ticket. "As soon as I heard he was back in the galaxy, I had to offer him the VP spot," said Presidential candidate John Kerry,...
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