There were 334 spoof news stories published in July 2004. A selection of the most popular stories is shown here. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: After Tour de France, Lance Armstrong says, "We are over, Sheryl Crow!"

After Tour de France, Lance Armstrong says, "We are over, Sheryl Crow!"

Well people, it looks as though our friends Sheryl Crow and Lance Armstrong are no more. Armstrong reluctantly broke up with his girlfriend of one year last week, after winning the Tour de France.
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Funny story: Nude Newborn Shocks Doc

Nude Newborn Shocks Doc

Presque Isle, ME - If any more evidence of America's moral decay were needed, it came at 4:17 yesterday afternoon. In a delivery room at the Aroostook Medical Center, Dr. Joyce Hebert brought a healthy 7.7 lbs. baby boy into this world; but imagine...
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Funny story: Maria Sharapova Signs Deal

Maria Sharapova Signs Deal

Maria Sharapova really needs an antiperspirant that works on those huge Russian armpits. "My pits got a heavy workout this past week at Wimbledon. I never would have won if I didn't use Arrid Brand deodorant. Arrid kept me dry while my oppon...
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Funny story: AFL-CIO Supports Intestinal Bacteria Strike Plan

AFL-CIO Supports Intestinal Bacteria Strike Plan

Colon - Frustrated by what they referred to as "inhumane" conditions, tens of millions of bacteria in your large intestine issued a comprehensive set of work rules demands today. Ranging from improved lighting and ventilation to greater security, th...
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Funny story: Lance Armstrong: "It's all her fault!"

Lance Armstrong: "It's all her fault!"

Cycling champion Lance Armstrong is severely irate these days about his falling behind in the Tour de France, claiming that he has been currently in dazes during the race. I guess this explains why he was in fourth place for a majority of tim...
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Funny story: Michael Moore Signs For Real Madrid

Michael Moore Signs For Real Madrid

Real Madrid today confirmed the signing of Michael Moore as their first choice goalkeeper. Coach Antonio Camacho said that Moore 'definitely fills a role'.
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Funny story: Santa Claus Releases "Naughty and Nice" List

Santa Claus Releases "Naughty and Nice" List

Early this morning, and months before its scheduled release date, Father Christmas today surprised the world with an early release of his list of ‘who's been naughty and who's been nice'. The list, a virtual who's who in world politics and bu...
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Funny story: Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps Pees In Pool

Olympic Swimmer Michael Phelps Pees In Pool

U.S. star Swimmer Michael Phelps launched the ultimate revenge on Australian Rival Ian Thorpe this week when he revealed he urinated in Thorpe's lane moments before Phelps' victory in the men's 200-meter individual medley at the World Swimmin...
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Funny story: Ann Coulter experiencing problems promoting her new book

Ann Coulter experiencing problems promoting her new book

NEW YORK- Ann Coulter's controversial new book hits the shelves this Friday, but she's having a difficult time promoting it.
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Funny story: George Bush Asks Terrorists for Help to Postpone Elections

George Bush Asks Terrorists for Help to Postpone Elections

The Department of Homeland Security has been working with Election Officials, al Qaida and the Bush Administration to put plans in place to postpone the November Presidential Elections. The tentative plan calls for a terrorist attack in the event t...
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Funny story: Kournikova, Sharapova part of WTA's new Russian marketing campaign

Kournikova, Sharapova part of WTA's new Russian marketing campaign

Busty former tennis fashionista and Jergens "hand" lotion's leading salesperson, Anna Kournikova, may not be able to win a tennis match, or, even currently be playing the sport.
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Funny story: Hilary Duff in New Movie

Hilary Duff in New Movie

HOLLYWOOD (AP) Hilary Duff is sure to win the respect of serious movie audiences in her new film "Evil Eyes". Appearing recently in movies such as Lizzie McGuire and Casper Meets Wendy, the pretty 17-year-old actress felt th...
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Funny story: Tour de France Shocker as Lance Armstrong Flies to Victory

Tour de France Shocker as Lance Armstrong Flies to Victory

Tour de Farce: Shockwaves have been sent around the cycling world as yesterday's 197.5 kilometre stage, from Castelsarrasin to La Mongie, was taken by storm in rather unconventional circumstances. Five-time Tour de...
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Funny story: Van Halen Sues John Kerry

Van Halen Sues John Kerry

Los Angeles, CA (AP) - Lawyers of the hard rock band Van Halen have filed a suit in federal court to block the use of the song "Right Now" in John Kerry's political campaign.
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Funny story: US Men's Synchronized Swim Team Ready For Athens

US Men's Synchronized Swim Team Ready For Athens

The United States Men's Synchronized Swimming Team reports that it is ready to take on the world this summer at the Olympic games in Athens.
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Funny story: Bush Nominates Satan

Bush Nominates Satan

In a surprise press conference today, President George W. Bush announced the nomination of Satan as his judicial nominee for the 4th District in North Carolina.
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Funny story: Michael Moore, Bill O'Reilly to Wed

Michael Moore, Bill O'Reilly to Wed

FLINT, MICH. --- Liberal film-maker Michael Moore and Conservative talking head Bill O'Reilly announced today their intention to tie the knot in Boston, Massachusettes, on July 4th, 2004.
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Funny story: Ryanair acquires Concorde

Ryanair acquires Concorde

Dublin, Ireland. Ryanair Chief executive, Michael O'Leary has told reporters for the Financial Times, that Ryanair has acquired Concorde an...
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Funny story: Matt Damon - Boston Hunk Supreme

Matt Damon - Boston Hunk Supreme

Boston, MA - Despite the high-living and low-loving of his best buddy Ben Affleck, Matt Damon has managed to stake a claim as Boston's Hunkus Supremus following his role in the spy-thriller, "the Bourne Supremacy."...
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Funny story: Los Alamos Now Lost Alamos

Los Alamos Now Lost Alamos

In yet another major security lapse the entire Los Alamos Nuclear Research facility has disappeared. Officials are at a loss to explain how a complete complex of buildings and all the people in them could vanish amid the some of the tightest security...
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Funny story: Maria Sharapova Finds Tennis Ball

Maria Sharapova Finds Tennis Ball

A young woman digging in her yard found a tennis ball. Maria Sharapova has been digging holes on her 700-acre estate hoping to find something of value. "Finding this tennis ball is the best thing I have ever dug up! I'm not quite sure what I...
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Funny story: Half-man Half-Fish. Found In Deep Trench!

Half-man Half-Fish. Found In Deep Trench!

In what is surely the most sensational discovery of the year, a half-man half-fish has been found alive and well, breathing and living his life at the bottom of the Marinas Trench, in the eastern Pacific Ocean.
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Funny story: George Lucas Announces New Star Wars Film Title

George Lucas Announces New Star Wars Film Title

Amid rumour and counter rumour George Lucas finally announced today the title of the third instalment of the Star Wars Canon.
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Funny story: Kobe Bryant granted own expansion team

Kobe Bryant granted own expansion team

EAGLE, CO -- Unable to land a contract with an NBA team willing to let him pursue his goal of winning a championship all by himself, Kobe Bryant was granted his own expansion team on the steps of the Eagle, Colorado courthouse after the 45th day of a...
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Funny story: Exclusive: Saddam Pleads Guilty, Names Accomplices

Exclusive: Saddam Pleads Guilty, Names Accomplices

The former Iraqi strongman Saddam Hussein has claimed that in an affidavit presented to an Iraqi judge, he had pleaded guilty and also named a few accomplices. Mr. Hussein made this claim in an exclusive interview to this reporter. This interview was...
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Funny story: Drudge Report Sinks To New Low

Drudge Report Sinks To New Low

WASHINGTON - Matt Drudge's ‘The Drudge Report' has long been hailed by right-wing conservatives as the definitive source for dirt on their liberal Democrat adversaries. With the release of ‘Fahrenheit 9/11', controversial film director Michael M...
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Funny story: Makin' Whoopie

Makin' Whoopie

Whoopie Goldberg is a gas! Or at least she could have been. In a bizarre attempt to get her Slim-Fast contract renewed, Whoopie charged through the gate of the diet corporation in a 2005 Hummer H2, (which everyone later agreed was a fine piec...
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Funny story: George Bush Brushes Off The NAACP

George Bush Brushes Off The NAACP

\=-President George W. Bush has admitted that he has a "practically nonexistent" relationship with the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (NAACP), citing as his reason that "Black Folks just seem to hate me" and has refused fo...
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Funny story: Michael Moore Makes Surprise Entrance and Startling Statement!

Michael Moore Makes Surprise Entrance and Startling Statement!

Boston, Massachusetts -- CNN's Tom the Foreman, was working on buffing the floors when filmmaker Michael Moore opened the door to the news trailer and announced, "Who has sins they want to confess"?...
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Funny story: "Fahrenheit 911" Destroys Industry

"Fahrenheit 911" Destroys Industry

The Association of Thermometer Manufacturers is not happy with Michael Moore's new movie "Fahrenheit 911". Karl H. Dorfman, public relations speaker for ART, says, "We do not like Michael Moore. His new movie is making people think...
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Funny story: Bubble Boy Leaves House, Gets Job

Bubble Boy Leaves House, Gets Job

BLOOMINGTON ILLINOIS-- After spending the first 19 years of his life in a protective plastic bubble, a Bloomington man took his first steps into the outside world this week.
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Funny story: Michael Moore on Michael Moore

Michael Moore on Michael Moore

Michael Moore, the legendary documentary maker has announced today that he is in the pre-production stages of his latest film, a documentary about himself.
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Funny story: Kofi Annan reunited with Morgan Freeman

Kofi Annan reunited with Morgan Freeman

The Secretary General of the UN, Kofi Annan, has been reunited with his long lost Brother, actor and Ukulele magnate Morgan Freeman.
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Funny story: French Catholics 'must move to the Vatican'

French Catholics 'must move to the Vatican'

Pope John-Paul II has urged all French Catholics to move to the Vatican immediately to escape anti-Catholic sentiments in France.
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Funny story: John Kerry Announces VEEP

John Kerry Announces VEEP

Presidential hopefull John Kerry announced today that his pick for his Vice President would be none other then current President George Bush. Asked to explain his pick, Kerry told reporters that since his and President Bush's policies are so clo...
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Funny story: Saddam Hussein Endorses Bush/Cheney for 2004

Saddam Hussein Endorses Bush/Cheney for 2004

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Appearing before a judge, Saddam Hussein endorsed the Bush/Cheney 2004 campaign(Trancript Below).
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Funny story: George Bush grants amnesty to illegal immigrants, announces George Lopez as running mate

George Bush grants amnesty to illegal immigrants, announces George Lopez as running mate

WASHINGTON, D.C. - In an unprecedented move to secure a solid win in the November election, President Bush today announced blanket amnesty for all illegal immigrants in America regardless of their green card status, and he confided to reporter...
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Funny story: "Hi, I'm Billy Mays for OxiClean!"

"Hi, I'm Billy Mays for OxiClean!"

CULVERT, IOWA (AP) You're watching TV late at night down in the den. The rest of the family is upstairs sound asleep. You've got the volume turned way down as you listen to just one more repeat of stale news. Then, out of nowhere you are suddenly thr...
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Funny story: Animal Rights Activists Urge "Mercy for Mosquitoes"

Animal Rights Activists Urge "Mercy for Mosquitoes"

TOLEDO, Ohio - With summer in full-swing across America, one unwelcome pest is getting a PR boost from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA). Despite concerns with a variety of mosquito-borne illnesses and a correlated up tick in sales...
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Funny story: Canned by Slim-Fast, Whoopi Goldberg Vows to Promote New Diet

Canned by Slim-Fast, Whoopi Goldberg Vows to Promote New Diet

Los Angeles, CA--After being unceremoniously "canned" by Slim-Fast for her comments about the Bush Administration, actress and comedian Whoopi Goldberg has vowed to criss-cross the country promoting a new diet and stressing the benefits of...
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Funny story: Oxford English Dictionary To Update The Word 'Whitewash'

Oxford English Dictionary To Update The Word 'Whitewash'

London, England, A spokesperson for Oxford English Dictionary has allegedly announced that it is to update the word ‘whitewash' to that of a more contemporary meaning.
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Funny story: Tori Spelling Gets Married

Tori Spelling Gets Married

Actress Tori Spelling, best known for her role as Donna on TV's "Beverly Hills 90210", has married, her publicist said Monday.
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Funny story: Gaddafi Acquires Manchester United

Gaddafi Acquires Manchester United

Libyan strongman, president for life, father of the nation, Sultan of all he surveys, WH Smith, Tripoli under-16 javelin bronze, potentate plenitentiary, Dominoes Pizzas, leader supreme, Muammar Gaddafi has bought a controlling interest in Manchester...
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Funny story: NRA Awards Kennedy and Feinstein

NRA Awards Kennedy and Feinstein

The National Rifle Association today attempted to mend fences with long time foe Senator Ted Kennedy of Massachusetts. In an award ceremony, NRA's Wayne LaPierre told the Senator, who is a long time supporter of banning handguns, "We now wis...
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Funny story: Fast Food Industry Follows Krispy Kreme Doughnut Beverages Rollout

Fast Food Industry Follows Krispy Kreme Doughnut Beverages Rollout

Following the lead of Krispy Kreme, the fast food industry is quickly responding to the doughnut maker's announcement of doughnut-flavored drinks.
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Funny story: Iyad Allawi to change name to Saddam Hussein

Iyad Allawi to change name to Saddam Hussein

US-appointed Iraqi Prime Minister Iyad Allawi is to change his name by deed poll to Saddam Hussein, it emerged earlier today.
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Funny story: Astronaut Forgets Key, Locked out of International Space Station

Astronaut Forgets Key, Locked out of International Space Station

Space - "Houston we have a problem," was the call put in earlier by NASA astronaut Maj. James P. Sutton, Jr. It seems Maj. Sutton left the keys to the international space station on his bedroom nightstand.
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Funny story: McCartney reveals Vinton was alter ego

McCartney reveals Vinton was alter ego

LONDON -- In a shocking revelation made here, former Beatle Paul McCartney said that he is and always has really been Bobby Vinton.
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Funny story: Vice President Cheney Touts Toilet Clogging Capability

Vice President Cheney Touts Toilet Clogging Capability

Washington - In a fresh example of his failure to gauge the national mood, Vice President Dick Cheney discussed a memorable bowel movement for nearly three minutes during a recent airing of "Meet the Press." A stunned Tim Russert stared -...
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Funny story: Two Johns - No Waiting

Two Johns - No Waiting

SAN FRANCISCO - It seems that presumed Democratic presidential candidate, John Kerry, and his running mate, John Edwards aren't waiting for the honeymoon. In a rally near the San Francisco waterfront, the two Johns surprised supporters by engaging i...
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Funny story: id Software Drops Doom3 in Favor of "MMOG" Game

id Software Drops Doom3 in Favor of "MMOG" Game

id software announced that Doom3 is no longer in production, and that the developmental team has shifted gears toward something more enlightening.
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Funny story: Bin Laden Wants Puppet Regime Too

Bin Laden Wants Puppet Regime Too

Criminal mastermind Osama Bin Laden says Iraq has a puppet regime, and he wants one as well.
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Funny story: Conservative Group Campaigns Against Same-sex Friendships

Conservative Group Campaigns Against Same-sex Friendships

Davenport, IA - According to conservative group, the Family Unity Council (FUC), Jason Michaels, and his best friend Dave Sloan, both nine, represent a growing threat to the stability of the American family. The boys, who enjoy fishing, riding bikes...
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Funny story: Saddam Hussein Guilty

Saddam Hussein Guilty

Thursday brought the welcome return of Saddam Hussein to our television screens. The former Iraqi strongman had his first taste of court, while the ground rules for the trial were being set.
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Funny story: MapQuest Destroys Town!

MapQuest Destroys Town!

RUGBY, ND (AP) Residents of rural Rugby, North Dakota will not soon forget this July 4th. Cars, pickups, and big trucks started rolling up 4th Avenue at 9 o'clock in the morning. Drivers soon started pulling over and ringing doorbells asking for...
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Funny story: Martha Stewart to Market New Line of Electronic Bracelets, Bureaus, Book

Martha Stewart to Market New Line of Electronic Bracelets, Bureaus, Book

New York, NY-- Martha Stewart is seeking to market her new line of electronic bracelets at Tiffany's and her new line of bureaus at Target, sources close to Ms. Stewart said today. Ms Stewart is also said to be in deliberations with several major...
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Funny story: Spiderman Quits Law Enforcement, Becomes Pizza Boy

Spiderman Quits Law Enforcement, Becomes Pizza Boy

Marvel Comics character and part-time superhero Spiderman announced his retirement today to a stunned New York City and a number of delighted criminal masterminds.
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Funny story: Kerry Flatulence Horror

Kerry Flatulence Horror

Democratic Nominee Senator John Kerry's run at the White House could lie in tatters inside sources have revealed. They fear that while he may not stabilise the oil problem he could single-handedly sort out America's natural gas requirements.
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Funny story: McDonalds Purchases the Papacy, Ronald Made McPope

McDonalds Purchases the Papacy, Ronald Made McPope

McDonalds Corporation has officially announced today its successful hostile takeover of the Roman Catholic Church and affiliated organisations. McDonalds now has exclusive rights to the Pope and the Vatican, whilst...
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Funny story: Athens Prepares for Olympics: Zeus Angry

Athens Prepares for Olympics: Zeus Angry

Mt. Olympus - Athens, Greece...
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Funny story: Chinese Swim Team Banned

Chinese Swim Team Banned

Athens Greece.In a decision that suprised no one, the International Olympic Committee banned the Chinese Womens swim team for illegal substances and having fins.
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Funny story: Ahmed leaves the BB house in Dramatic Fashion

Ahmed leaves the BB house in Dramatic Fashion

In a dramatic development today Big Brother contestant Ahmed Aghil exploded earlier today following an argument with a fellow housemate.
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Funny story: Kwanzaa stolen, Grinch held for questioning

Kwanzaa stolen, Grinch held for questioning

WHOVILLE - The Grinch, described by neighbors as a "mean one," was arrested Tuesday at his home near Whoville. He was held for questioning regarding the theft of Kwanzaa, a holiday that falls near Christmas and Hannukah.
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Funny story: Dan Brown to Follow Up Best Selling 'Da Vinci Code'

Dan Brown to Follow Up Best Selling 'Da Vinci Code'

Best selling author Dan Brown has announced that he is working on a follow-up to his acclaimed novel, The Da Vinci Code. The new Novel, entitled The Schultz Code asserts astonishing claims that Cartoonist Charles Schultz included hidde...
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Funny story: Disney Boycotts Southern Baptist

Disney Boycotts Southern Baptist

Orlando - "Turnabout is fair play", says head mouseketeer Michael Eisner, when asked why the Walt Disney Company would simply reject any and all Southern Baptist dollars at theme parks and movie theaters. And so marks the beginning of a new er...
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Funny story: Scientists Discover Satire Site is Wormhole to Parallel Universe

Scientists Discover Satire Site is Wormhole to Parallel Universe

(HOUSTON, Texas) Scientists at the NASA Space Centre revealed unprecedented research today that allegedly confirms leading internet satire site TheSpoof.com as the centre of our universe and, consequently, a wormhole to other parallel u...
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Funny story: Ben & Jerry's introduce new ice cream flavor: Burning Bush

Ben & Jerry's introduce new ice cream flavor: Burning Bush

SPOKANE, Wash. - Ben Cohen, the Ben of Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream fame, is not a fan of President Bush. Cohen is currently travelling around the country on what he is calling his "Pants on Fire" tour. Towing a 12 foot effigy of the President which fea...
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Funny story: John Kerry Plan Backfires

John Kerry Plan Backfires

Following disastrous attempts to build support with Latino and African American communities that resulted in the Kerry Latino Riot and the AME Incident, Senator John Kerry met with Willard Frankenmeyer, Director of the Clowns for Kerry Committee. Th...
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Funny story: Michael Moore Is New James Bond

Michael Moore Is New James Bond

Michael Moore may not have cracked the nod for the Democratic Convention but he's scored big time with the role of James Bond in "You only look like you've lived twice". This news breaking after Pierce Brosnan confirmed that he is n...
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Funny story: Martha Stewart Packing Her Bags

Martha Stewart Packing Her Bags

Friends of Martha Stewart say that she is packing her bags for her upcoming vacation at a yet undisclosed Federal Correction Facility. Next-door neighbor Beatrice Busybody says, "Yesterday I saw a big UPS van delivering nine great big new steame...
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Funny story: Greenspan: "You Are Getting Very Sleepy"

Greenspan: "You Are Getting Very Sleepy"

WASHINGTON - Alan Greenspan, chairman of the Federal Reserve, announced today he would take certain key steps to ensure the continued recovery and health of the economy. "Flimmity-flammity, bimmity-bammity," he told reporters, "dreezl...
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Funny story: IPaq microwave oven stars in HP handheld quartet

IPaq microwave oven stars in HP handheld quartet

Hewlett Packard is adding four new handheld Pocket PC devices to its iPaq family, including its first model with microwave capabilities.
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Funny story: Lakers trade Shaq to Kings for entire city of Sacramento

Lakers trade Shaq to Kings for entire city of Sacramento

LOS ANGELES--Stunning league observers who expected the Dallas Mavericks to be Diesel's new home, the Los Angeles Lakers have traded Shaquille O'Neal to the Sacramento Kings. In return, the Lakers will receive California's capitol city and a suburb...
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Funny story: John Kerry's planned convention speech leaked

John Kerry's planned convention speech leaked

Democratic National Committee Chairman Terry McAuliffe is engaged in a desperate attempt to find the person or persons who leaked John Kerry's alleged acceptance speech at the nominating convention later this month.
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Funny story: Senator Kerry Goes After The Transvestite Vote With Eddie Izzard

Senator Kerry Goes After The Transvestite Vote With Eddie Izzard

In a move to appeal to another minority group, Senator John Kerry has teamed up with Transvestite Comedian Eddie Izzard. The two will appear in a series of 13 live concerts to be held in various battleground states in the months after the Democratic...
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Funny story: Jeopardy! Host Set to Slap Champion

Jeopardy! Host Set to Slap Champion

CULVER CITY, CA - Jeopardy! Host Alex Trebek is making his feelings known for the game show's current champion, software engineer Ken Jennings from Salt Lake City, Utah.
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Funny story: Parasites Hail Lance Armstrong

Parasites Hail Lance Armstrong

The people of Paris were thrilled to see an American Lance Armstrong, racing to a record 6th win in the Tour de France. The Parisites were so thrilled in fact that they tried to derail him with hailstones from a storm which had broken earlier.
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Funny story: Vice Admiral James Stockdale Begins Stumping as Third-Party VP Candidate

Vice Admiral James Stockdale Begins Stumping as Third-Party VP Candidate

Washington, DC - Vice Admiral James Bond Stockdale (ret.), Ross Perot's running mate during the 1992 Presidential election, today announced his plan to run as an independent Vice Presidential candidate. In an unusual step, Admiral Stockdale is runni...
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Funny story: Beckham Reveals Real Facts of Penalty Incident

Beckham Reveals Real Facts of Penalty Incident

David Beckham broke cover early this morning to put forward his reasons for the penalty miss that helped to send the English team crashing out of the European finals...
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Funny story: Country Club Serves Cat Head Hors D'oeuvres

Country Club Serves Cat Head Hors D'oeuvres

CRYSTAL LAKE, IL-- The Shady Pines country club in Crystal Lake Illinois Shocked guests of a wedding reception on Saturday when they served severed cat heads as appetizers before dinner.
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Funny story: Gay Marriage Ban has Married People Up in Arms

Gay Marriage Ban has Married People Up in Arms

A new poll finds most Americans are against a Gay Marriage Ban Amendment while at the same time are against homosexuals marrying. One of the poll respondents, Festus P. Hymen of Billings, Montana said, " Well shit, of course I wish I had a gay marria...
View 'Gay Marriage Ban has Married People Up in Arms'
Funny story: McDonald's Stock Collapses on News of Brando Death

McDonald's Stock Collapses on News of Brando Death

SAN DIEGO - McDonald's officials are scrambling to reassure investors that the corporation's success in the past year is not threatened by the recent death of Marlon Brando. Skittish investors are clearly not buying into their arguments, dum...
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Funny story: Star Wars Title Shocker

Star Wars Title Shocker

Los Angeles, CA - In what will become a case study of how not to name a film, fans and industry executives reacted with shock and dismay to the title of the upcoming installment of the Star Wars saga - "The Revenge of the Sh*t".
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Funny story: Michael Moore is Hulk

Michael Moore is Hulk

Bruce Banner a lonely, emotionally challenged figure who transforms into the Hulk when enraged, will now be played by Michael Moore. Moore's work as a polemicist is believed to have been instrumental in him landing the role.
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Funny story: Martha Stewart Sentenced to Sixty Five Years

Martha Stewart Sentenced to Sixty Five Years

Martha Stewart has been sentenced to sixty five years in a Federal Maximum Security Prison for violent felons. The term, which far surpasses the court mandated minimum sentencing guidelines was imposed by United States District Judge Miriam Cedarbaum...
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Funny story: Dr. Phil's Wife Says She's Just Too Pretty For Him

Dr. Phil's Wife Says She's Just Too Pretty For Him

Television psychologist Dr. Philip McGraw's wife, Robin, tells reporters that the doc is a "big old goofy man" and she is much too attractive for him.
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Funny story: Jesus Blesses Drug Use

Jesus Blesses Drug Use

Troy, NY - Not since the miracle at Lourdes has the divine spoken to mankind as directly as it did on a recent night. According to Jason Greer, a 24-year-old graduate student at the Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, The Son of God spoke to him by na...
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Funny story: Computer Glitch Voids Canadian Election Results

Computer Glitch Voids Canadian Election Results

OTTAWA (Dissociated Press)-- In a surprise statement, Elections Canada today announced that it was invalidating the results of the recent Canadian federal election. Officials revealed that what had been portrayed in the media as a hotly-contested rac...
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Funny story: Local Man Dejected After America's Funniest Home Videos Declines 100th Straight Entry

Local Man Dejected After America's Funniest Home Videos Declines 100th Straight Entry

Denver - A local Lakewood man, David Cottalano, says he's "down right unhappy" about his latest defeat at the hands of the producers from the ABC show America's Funniest Home Videos. Although he should not be surprised, this was the one...
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Funny story: Alabama Made Computers: An Oxymoron?

Alabama Made Computers: An Oxymoron?

Hope Springs Eternal, Ala. (AP) - You can special order one from the back pages of a comic book, but most of Miltopia laptop computers go to Afghanistan, Iraq and wherever American combat troops are assigned around the world. They are also the first...
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Funny story: Clinton Book Sees Second Printing

Clinton Book Sees Second Printing

WASHINGTON - Following the release of former President Bill Clinton's book, 'My Life', in June of this year, several watch-groups have reported a host of typographical errors. The book has enjoyed only marginal sales, despite the heavy m...
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Funny story: Colin Powell Auditions For "American Idol 4"

Colin Powell Auditions For "American Idol 4"

Sources say US Secretary of State Colin Powell recently flew out to Dallas, Texas to audition for next year's edition of the Fox reality show, "American Idol".
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Funny story: Al Sharpton Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign

Al Sharpton Launches 2008 Presidential Campaign

In a bold move this week, America's lovable loser, the Reverend Al Sharpton, officially kicked-off his 2008 campaign for President. Sharpton, who has been preaching since the age of three and running for president since the age of four, dropped out...
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Funny story: Bush Blasts Hilary With Heat Vision!

Bush Blasts Hilary With Heat Vision!

President Bush, visibly annoyed by a Senator Hillary R. Clinton's heckling, lost his temper this morning and fired a blast of heat vision at the former first lady, setting her hair on fire. The outburst occured at a fund-raiser for the New York s...
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Funny story: People outdoors are exposed to higher levels of the sun's harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays, a study

People outdoors are exposed to higher levels of the sun's harmful ultraviolet (UV) rays, a study

Previous measures of exposure outdoors have proven false, when compared to research studies recently completed at Irish Scientific Labs, Inc. Old findings were measured from how much sunlight hits flat surfaces.
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Funny story: NAACP Spooks George W. Bush: Says it's NUL Instead

NAACP Spooks George W. Bush: Says it's NUL Instead

President George W. Bush, after declining to address the NAACP National Convention, has apparently decided that he has to talk to some African Americans somewhere before the election in November, so he will speak to the National Urban League in Detro...
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Funny story: "Told you so" says Queen as Diana Memorial Fountain Flops

"Told you so" says Queen as Diana Memorial Fountain Flops

Buckingham Palace, London SW1 (Rioters) - Howls of laughter were heard in the corridors of the nation's top Royal Residence last night following the news that the recently opened Diana, Princess of Wales Memorial Fountain in London's Hyde Pa...
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Funny story: Referee Beaten To Death In Special Olympics Blind Boxing Fiasco

Referee Beaten To Death In Special Olympics Blind Boxing Fiasco

HAMBURG, GERMANY --- The sporting world was in shock today after one of the best loved amateur boxing referees was killed after a pummelling from a Special Olympian blind boxer, who had mistakenly thought the referee was his opponent during a first r...
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Funny story: Kerry's Killer Statistics

Kerry's Killer Statistics

Presidential hopeful John Kerry went on the attack earlier today when he announced to the worlds press that American citizens now have more chance of being killed in Iraq than Detroit.
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Funny story: Taking the bulls by their poisonous horns in Pamplona

Taking the bulls by their poisonous horns in Pamplona

PAMPLONA, Spain -- This Spanish town's famous bull-running event, featuring stampeding animals galloping through the streets in reckless abandon along with humans, has a new twist to it this year-poison horn tips.
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