Spoof news stories from Monday 2 February 2004
MINA, Saudi Arabia - At least 244 people were trampled to death and hundreds more hurt under the crush of worshippers in one of the deadliest disasters during the annual Muslim pilgrimage to Mecca and Medina.
In an attempt to capitalize on New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady's notoriety, a plastic surgeon in the Boston area is offering a special to anyone who wants to have their face altered to look like the newly crowned Super Bowl MVP.
Washington, DC- In a move that rocked the financial marketplace, Federal Reserve Chairman Alan Greenspan announced a revolutionary five-step plan to help Americans get out of debt.
The Saudi Arabian Sheik today bought the struggling Premiership side Leeds United. Speculation has been rife with many other Middle Eastern sheiks, such as Sheik Yabuti, also attempting to buy the club. But Sheik Unvak who has paid the total of 42p o...
Scientists today announced findings linking "Bird Flu", (currently rampaging across Asia), and the all-consuming, all-powerful "Cancer". Scientists at Malpoo University, Calcutta, who this year have already suggested 84 wa...
Punxsutawney, PA The American tradition of Groundhog Day was marred today by an ugly incident in which the world's most celebrated groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, was captured by a family of hillbillies, skinned, roa...
President George Bush, encouraged by the Hutton probe in Great Britain, has ordered an Intelligence probe of his own into the failings of his Administration's ability to determine who in this world actually represents a gathering threat and who...
A recent study found that German consumption of alcohol was dropping dramatically, making older people in surrounding countries with long memories a little more comfortable.
VIENNA, SWITZERLAND - 83 percent of Europeans say they "couldn't give a toss" about this year's forthcoming US presidential election.
Bowing to political pressure, President Bush is set to appoint an independent commission this week to review pre-war U.S. intelligence about Iraq's WMD and post war ineffectiveness in planting them, administration sources said Sunday.
WASHINGTON - In a heartfelt and tearful press conference, President Bush finally admitted to the whole world his 10-year dependency on aspirin and Alka-Seltzer, which according to him greatly impaired his judgement in launching the war on Iraq.
Today while visiting a Kansas city liquor store presidential hopeful John Kerry was attacked.
A recent Swedish study has revealed that oxygen use is on the rise on this planet, a potentially dangerous trend if left unmonitored.
Scientists at the Apple Institute have confirmed that an apple a day will help the average person lose weight rapdly. A study concluded in October found that 875 people that ate only one apple a day lost an average of 74 pounds! The study which lasted 8 months produced a number of of interesting side effects including extreme hunger pangs, starvation----and death in 64% of subjects.