There were 63 spoof news stories published in September 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Japanese Sex Relief

Japanese Sex Relief

In a bid to irradicate stress from the workplace, Japanese bosses have ordered their workforce to have designated sex-breaks during the day to keep levels of stress to an absolute minimum.
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Funny story: US Launches Attack on Iceland

US Launches Attack on Iceland

In a shocking speech early this morning, President of America George Bush announced that the American army would be launching an attack on Iceland. The world looks on as America once again makes an attack on an opponent that is not fully equipped to...
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Funny story: Father Christmas 'lazy and fat' says Mrs. Christmas

Father Christmas 'lazy and fat' says Mrs. Christmas

Mrs Christmas' latest tirade against her husband has sparked interest amongst media moguls and advertising men. The portly old lady has criticised her husband for being 'lazy and fat'. Mr Christmas (also known as 'Father' Christma...
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Funny story: Freephone Numbers Are The New Sex Chatlines

Freephone Numbers Are The New Sex Chatlines

Bernard Blunt, a sad loner, boasted to his mates about a whole new world that had opened up for him.
View 'Freephone Numbers Are The New Sex Chatlines'
Funny story: Kylie video-game set to be smasher!

Kylie video-game set to be smasher!

Rage software have released details of their upcoming game, "Kylie: Unleashed!". The game, set to release on X-Box, PS2 and Game Cube, stars diminutive popstrel Kylie Minogue and is said to be mostly about her arse.
View 'Kylie video-game set to be smasher!'
Funny story: Beef farmer finds wife in bed with prize heifer

Beef farmer finds wife in bed with prize heifer

Beef farming, the latest vogue in farming circles, has turned one happy farmer's long love affair with the business, in to one big nightmare.
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Funny story: Dead man refuses to comment on tax-evasion

Dead man refuses to comment on tax-evasion

Jeff Blake, 143, has refused to comment to journalists on his apparently scandelous attempts at tax-evasion. Jeff, who died at age 82, is being investigated by US detectives for his non-compliance.
View 'Dead man refuses to comment on tax-evasion'
Funny story: Ronald McDonald Is Loving It!

Ronald McDonald Is Loving It!

The fast food chain McDonalds was shocked yesterday as it's most famous icon, Ronald McDonald, was charged with downloading offensive images from the internet. His laptop, pictured above, was confiscated pending a police investigation. The clow...
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Funny story: Britney's Haunted Bra

Britney's Haunted Bra

Sex goddess, Britney Spears, astounded her fans with claims that her bra was haunted by the ghost of Elvis.
View 'Britney's Haunted Bra'
Funny story: Kids don't swear like they used to

Kids don't swear like they used to

Research carried out by linguists at Lancaster University, England, has revealed that children just don't swear like they used to.
View 'Kids don't swear like they used to'
Funny story: Stipe Believes He's Jackson

Stipe Believes He's Jackson

It emerged yesterday that singer with band REM, Michael Stipe, has been admitted to a mental institution. Friends and family refused to comment on the matter, but a band spokesperson confirmed that Michael's mental capabilities had been deterior...
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Funny story: Celebrities: 'We can't eat our own feet'

Celebrities: 'We can't eat our own feet'

HOLLYWOOD, CA - In a shock announcement, Celebrities have said they just can't stomach their own feet.
View 'Celebrities: 'We can't eat our own feet''
Funny story: Bush Confused About Safe Sex

Bush Confused About Safe Sex

The White House was working hard to cover up President Bush's latest diplomatic blunder.
View 'Bush Confused About Safe Sex'
Funny story: Woman hospitalised after pubic lice removal attempt

Woman hospitalised after pubic lice removal attempt

A woman, yet to be named, is in hospital with second degree burns to her groin after attempting to rid herself from an infestation of Pthirus pubis (Pubic lice, or Crabs). The woman is believed to have used a whole can of foaming insect killer to...
View 'Woman hospitalised after pubic lice removal attempt'
Funny story: Lady Diana's Ghost Lives In My Double Glazing

Lady Diana's Ghost Lives In My Double Glazing

Nora Williams, a plain speaking Yorkshire lass, claims that her newly fitted patio windows are haunted by the ghost of Lady Diana.
View 'Lady Diana's Ghost Lives In My Double Glazing'
Funny story: Ben & Jerry's Split

Ben & Jerry's Split

Ice cream makers Ben & Jerry's are reported to have separated. Hopes of marriage are now all but gone.
View 'Ben & Jerry's Split'
Funny story: 78% of computer users still use default Windows XP 'rolling hills' desktop image

78% of computer users still use default Windows XP 'rolling hills' desktop image

Boffins at Lancaster University have determined that...
View '78% of computer users still use default Windows XP 'rolling hills' desktop image'
Funny story: Shock as Blair admits: 'I'm gay'

Shock as Blair admits: 'I'm gay'

Prime Minister Tony Blair rocked the political scene throughout the world today by sensationally outing himself in the public eye.
View 'Shock as Blair admits: 'I'm gay''
Funny story: Christina Bites Head Off Of Chicken!

Christina Bites Head Off Of Chicken!

Yes, as if Christina Aguilera couldn't get any crazier, reports have come in that she's bitten the head off of a chicken.
View 'Christina Bites Head Off Of Chicken!'
Funny story: J-Lo to change name to Ennifer Pez

J-Lo to change name to Ennifer Pez

In a bizarre, but not terribly shocking move, Jennifer Lopez has decided to change her name once more. The name change coincides with her new album: "I have lots of money but I love you all".
View 'J-Lo to change name to Ennifer Pez'
Funny story: Tony Blair Kicked out of Labour Party

Tony Blair Kicked out of Labour Party

Tony Blair was formally removed from the Labour Party yesterday, after making homosexual advances towards John "Prezza" Prescott and unconfirmed reports state these may have involved Humphrey, the Downing Street cat.
View 'Tony Blair Kicked out of Labour Party'
Funny story: Police Launch New Drugs Policy

Police Launch New Drugs Policy

The Metropolitan Police announced yesterday that they were set to launch a radical new drugs policy aimed at driving out dealers and reducing organised crime. The as yet untitled policy has been given the working name 'Operation Needle City'...
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Funny story: True life story - I met myself in Benidorm.... twice!

True life story - I met myself in Benidorm.... twice!

To Dougie and Freda Duckpond, Benidorm was like a second home. But after spending many happy holidays at the popular Spanish resort, they have now vowed never to return after strange events ruined their stay two months ago. Happy...
View 'True life story - I met myself in Benidorm.... twice!'
Funny story: Britney Spears to make come back as Fritzy McGoo

Britney Spears to make come back as Fritzy McGoo

Pop teen virgin, Britney Spears, (who is no longer any of those qualifiers), has started her celebrity comeback in vicious style.
View 'Britney Spears to make come back as Fritzy McGoo'
Funny story: Underwater Golf becomes Australian Hit!

Underwater Golf becomes Australian Hit!

A new concept developed 'down-under' is proving to be a massive success with golfers. Underwater Golf is turning out to be quite the hit with local pros. "It's fantastic," says Bruce Almatey, owner of the local club. "This morning I cracked up a s...
View 'Underwater Golf becomes Australian Hit!'
Funny story: Blair's Pre-War Persuasive Erotic Dance for Bush

Blair's Pre-War Persuasive Erotic Dance for Bush

British Prime Minister Tony Blair is to answer allegations that he performed a raunchy dance for the US President to persuade him to wage war on Iraq. Up until now, most reports of this nature have implied that it was American President, George Bush...
View 'Blair's Pre-War Persuasive Erotic Dance for Bush'
Funny story: JESUS FOUND!!!!!!!!!

JESUS FOUND!!!!!!!!!

Tell all the Christians to stop fussing and searching, Jesus has at last been found! Around the hour of Midnight, The Spoof''s very own reporter Jackie Sharp, under the influence of alcohol you understand, walked into a brothel, in an area which will remain unnamed, and saw, none other than the Christian deity himself, Mr. Jesus Christ.
View 'JESUS FOUND!!!!!!!!!'
Funny story: Helping hand for the disabled drinker

Helping hand for the disabled drinker

Researchers at Lancaster University, England, have invented something to assist the more disabled wheelchair bound person in consuming beverages from their chair.
View 'Helping hand for the disabled drinker'
Funny story: Royal Flush - New Public Toilets To Be Constructed In Honour Of Princess Diana

Royal Flush - New Public Toilets To Be Constructed In Honour Of Princess Diana

The small town of Gosh, nestled somewhere between Newcastle and London, is to erect a new public toilet block in its main square to commemorate the life of the late Diana, Princess of Wales.
View 'Royal Flush - New Public Toilets To Be Constructed In Honour Of Princess Diana'
Funny story: World's First Spoofology Graduate

World's First Spoofology Graduate

Spoofology, the study of all things spoof related, is a relatively new course being offered to students at Lancaster University, England. The first graduate of this course, Mr. Paul Lowton B.A. (Hons) is said to be delighted with the vast number of o...
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Funny story: Despair - The ingenious new game from Big Brother's Producers

Despair - The ingenious new game from Big Brother's Producers

The producers of Big Brother have announced a new game "Despair" which puts a fresh slant on the reality-television genre. A group of people, selected for their contrasting interests, beliefs and personalities, are placed on a lawless islan...
View 'Despair - The ingenious new game from Big Brother's Producers'
Funny story: Cash & moolah: Your friend, the lowly coin

Cash & moolah: Your friend, the lowly coin

The lowly coin started life in 3000BC by Egyptian slave-monkeys who needed a way to barter for drinks that their evil overlords would deny them. Back then, the 1 pence piece was formed with cattle dung and spittle, curved into a crude circular shape. Even now, some coins are made using dung and spittle - the 1 Euro coin is the best example.
View 'Cash & moolah: Your friend, the lowly coin'
Funny story: Monkey Nuts for Bananas

Monkey Nuts for Bananas

Jimbo, the monkey, has escaped from Lancaster University Monkey Research Centre (LUMRC). He is said to be extremely dangerous and residents of the local area are being advised to remain in their homes until he is safely returned.
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Funny story: Orlando Bloom interviewed by every journalist alive

Orlando Bloom interviewed by every journalist alive

The Guiness Company today confirmed that actor and girl look-a-like Orlando Bloom has now been interviewed by every journalist living on the planet today.
View 'Orlando Bloom interviewed by every journalist alive'
Funny story: Blair Admits Lying To Britain

Blair Admits Lying To Britain

In a bizarre turn of events, Prime Minister Tony Blair admitted lying to the people of Great Britain. In an unusually open and frank interview with Sir David Frost which is due to be aired this Sunday, Tony Blair explained the level of his deception...
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Funny story: Arsenal football team to provide thugs for next England match.

Arsenal football team to provide thugs for next England match.

Whilst many people are bemoaning the loss of several of England's finest thugs after their arrests in several Greek islands over the past few weeks, Arsene Wenger has kindly offered the services of his back 4 players to take up the role.
View 'Arsenal football team to provide thugs for next England match.'
Funny story: Pope Offers 5 Year No - Divorce Warranty On All New Marriages

Pope Offers 5 Year No - Divorce Warranty On All New Marriages

The Pope attempted to stem the declining numbers of church weddings by offering a 5 year 'no divorce' warranty on all new marriages in his Catholic churches.
View 'Pope Offers 5 Year No - Divorce Warranty On All New Marriages'
Funny story: Blair Changes Into An Arab

Blair Changes Into An Arab

Following the disastrous Iraqi war, the British Prime Minister has managed to persuade her majesty, Queen Elizabeth II to allow him to convert to the Muslim faith.
View 'Blair Changes Into An Arab'
Funny story: Blair and Brown set to go head-to-head

Blair and Brown set to go head-to-head

Ronald Blair and Jack Brown, joint holders of the "2002 Biscuits for Britain" biscuit eating championship, are set to go head-to-head once more this month.
View 'Blair and Brown set to go head-to-head'
Funny story: Bananas banned from airports in fake-gun crackdown

Bananas banned from airports in fake-gun crackdown

US Police officials have today announced a crackdown on 'gun shaped' fruit, specifically bananas, from American airports.
View 'Bananas banned from airports in fake-gun crackdown'
Funny story: UK government OKs plans to sell Cocaine as 'light pick-me-up'

UK government OKs plans to sell Cocaine as 'light pick-me-up'

The UK government has today admitted that plans to sell Cocaine as a 'light pick-me-up', have been approved by top-tier cabinet members. The plan is set to go to the vote on Wednesday.
View 'UK government OKs plans to sell Cocaine as 'light pick-me-up''
Funny story: Mr T Nominated for Nobel Prize

Mr T Nominated for Nobel Prize

Mr T was smiling above his hundreds of gold chains yesterday, as he heard he was to be an official nominee for the Nobel Prize. The star, famously known for his role as BA Barracuss in The A-Team, commented: "Hey fool. I'm very happy to be...
View 'Mr T Nominated for Nobel Prize'
Funny story: Record Company's New Money Spinner

Record Company's New Money Spinner

EMI, the record label behind so many great artists such as Billy Joel, M People and Robbie Williams have recently won a court case that will change the world forever! The case was unprecidented, but EMI have promised "there'll be plenty more...
View 'Record Company's New Money Spinner'
Funny story: PJ and Duncan in Pop Idol Bustup

PJ and Duncan in Pop Idol Bustup

Huge fore-headed Geordie sex symbols PJ and Duncan aka Ant and Dec, have announced their decision to go their separate ways after a huge fight at the final round of Pop Idol.
View 'PJ and Duncan in Pop Idol Bustup'
Funny story: British Ambassadors to be forced to wear Beafeater costumes

British Ambassadors to be forced to wear Beafeater costumes

In the latest crazy political stunt by the British Government, it has been announced that all British Ambassadors will be forced to don the famous Beafeater costume.
View 'British Ambassadors to be forced to wear Beafeater costumes'
Funny story: Blair Bans Dogs and Old Gits

Blair Bans Dogs and Old Gits

Tony Blair delighted his criminal community when he proposed that dogs and old gits were to be banned from using Britain's pavements.
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Funny story: OAPs Attack Blair

OAPs Attack Blair

Old Aged Pensioners from across the United Kingdom have united and attacked Tony Blair's house at 10 Downing Street, London.
View 'OAPs Attack Blair'
Funny story: Living Has Ruined My Life

Living Has Ruined My Life

The British government was reeling after the latest ruling by the European Court of Human Rights.
View 'Living Has Ruined My Life'
Funny story: Rapper sued by Elephant

Rapper sued by Elephant

International rap superstar Nelly is being sued for 1,000,000 in damages by Nelly the Elephant.
View 'Rapper sued by Elephant'
Funny story: Britain on Terror Alert

Britain on Terror Alert

The GibberBrit Party today released a terror alert for Britain.
View 'Britain on Terror Alert'
Funny story: Olympic Games Too Racist

Olympic Games Too Racist

There was a shocked silence amongst the sporting community, when it was announced that the Olympic games were to be discontinued because they are too racist.
View 'Olympic Games Too Racist'
Funny story: Totally P.C. Police People

Totally P.C. Police People

Manchester came to a halt today when the police force went on strike.
View 'Totally P.C. Police People'
Funny story: September 11th anniversary: predicted attacks 'bollocks'

September 11th anniversary: predicted attacks 'bollocks'

The leaders and officials of the world are today trying to think up of a some sort of scandal about Arnold Schwarzeneggar to hide the embarassing news that their 9/11 security alerts were pointless.
View 'September 11th anniversary: predicted attacks 'bollocks''
Funny story: Blaine bingeing blatantly - bollocks

Blaine bingeing blatantly - bollocks

David Blaine was spotted in the top London egg & ripe tomato restaurant "The Red White and Yellow Gunge," yesterday afternoon.
View 'Blaine bingeing blatantly - bollocks'
Funny story: Jalapeños commit to votes for peppers

Jalapeños commit to votes for peppers

Jalapeños, the Mexican left-wing political party has demanded better human rights for the peppers of the world. Their radical suggestion is that peppers should be allowed to vote in elections to gain a fair representation of the country's politic...
View 'Jalapeños commit to votes for peppers'
Funny story: Living Has Ruined My Life

Living Has Ruined My Life

The British government was reeling after the latest ruling by the European Court of Human Rights.
View 'Living Has Ruined My Life'
Funny story: Vote for the GibberBrit Party

Vote for the GibberBrit Party

A newly formed political party hit the street today campaign for you vote in the forthcoming 2005 Elections. The newly formed GibberBrit Party today announced it's intentions to stand at the next general election. It is looking for your support.
View 'Vote for the GibberBrit Party'
Funny story: Bev's Bevvies belay bellies

Bev's Bevvies belay bellies

Publican, Beverly Basket, has re-discovered an ancient Egyptian recipe originally used during the mummification process, but now prefers it as an additive in her ale. The formula is still top secret, but, as Bev explained, it's not as scary as it...
View 'Bev's Bevvies belay bellies'
Funny story: War good for peace

War good for peace

The US Government has now decided that war is the only thing that brings about peace in the world. Bush (George W) announced yesterday:...
View 'War good for peace'
Funny story: Hutton Enquiry 'really quite dull'

Hutton Enquiry 'really quite dull'

Official polls have described the Hutton Enquiry as enormously dull and boring. Many UK television viewers have been turned off the news due to at least half of every news-programme being dedicated to an enquiry full of lying, cheating losers.
View 'Hutton Enquiry 'really quite dull''
Funny story: "Citizenship Classes" to teach Hooliganism

"Citizenship Classes" to teach Hooliganism

Under new government proposals, asylum seekers reaching the pearly gates of Dover will be forced to take David Blunkett's new "Citizenship Classes" before being accepted as British Citizens.
View '"Citizenship Classes" to teach Hooliganism'
Funny story: Queen eats liver with a nice Chianti.

Queen eats liver with a nice Chianti.

An investigation has begun in Buck palace after it was discovered that the Queen had eaten liver, fava beans and a nice Chianti.
View 'Queen eats liver with a nice Chianti.'
Funny story: Athetics time-keeping 'disaster' causes cancellation of all medals

Athetics time-keeping 'disaster' causes cancellation of all medals

Tag-Heuer have announced news that has devastated the Athletics World Championships. The infamous time-keeping company have declared that their devices have been affected by the 2003 bug, a slightly older brother of the Millenium Bug. The bug has app...
View 'Athetics time-keeping 'disaster' causes cancellation of all medals'
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