There were 55 spoof news stories published in July 2003. You can use the calendar on the right hand side to get news stories from a day in this month.

Funny story: Vader spanked Japanese woman

Vader spanked Japanese woman

Intergalactic hussy, Darth Vader, appeared in court on Tuesday charged with indecently spanking a japanese woman. The incident, recreated in the picture shown here, is said to have undergone surgery after one lightsaber strike too many.
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Funny story: Peter Stringfellow to Loan Libido

Peter Stringfellow to Loan Libido

Peter Stringfellow is to loan his libido to Japan in an attempt to halt it's declining birth rate, it was announced yesterday.
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Funny story: Eurovision Thong Contest

Eurovision Thong Contest

Following the humiliating 'nul points defeat in the Eurovision Song Contest, the cunning British have changed the rules to make the competition fairer.
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Funny story: Teletubbies under FBI investigation

Teletubbies under FBI investigation

Favourite show to kids and adults alike, the Teletubbies are currently under FBI investigation due to allegations of releasing national security information to terrorist organisations and underworld cultists.
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Funny story: Fred Dibnah Creates World's First Steam-Powered Sex Toy

Fred Dibnah Creates World's First Steam-Powered Sex Toy

In an exclusive interview with TheSpoof.com, steam guru, Mr. Fred Dibnah, has revealed his latest contraption, the worlds first steam powered sex-toy.
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Funny story: Sexed-Up Dossier : Exclusive

Sexed-Up Dossier : Exclusive

TheSpoof.com has acquired exclusive access to the fully "sexed-up" dossier, as amended by Alistair Campbell MP.
View 'Sexed-Up Dossier : Exclusive'
Funny story: Penguins - I hates 'em!

Penguins - I hates 'em!

I don't really know what it is that I truly loathe about Penguins. I think it's partially due to comments like: "Awww...but the itty-bitty pengy-win is sooo cute!". Hmmm - you have to worry about comments like that. Given half the chance, that penguin would have you on your back, spreading your liver across a Ritz cracker before you could say "Mary Poppins". I gu...
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Funny story: Potter Creator Arrested

Potter Creator Arrested

Creator of Harry Potter, J. K. Rowling was arrested at lunch today on a charge of causing death by misadventure of a group of school children at their primary school.
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Funny story: High Street Stores to Create Designer Babies

High Street Stores to Create Designer Babies

It has been revealed that high street stores will be able to create designer babies. High street stores, Marks and Spencer, Debenhams and GAP will be offering customers the chance to have a baby while you shop.
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Funny story: Saddam Hussein: Game for a Laugh

Saddam Hussein: Game for a Laugh

Saddam Hussein today revealed that he was just in the dictatorship business for a laugh and didn't mean anyone any harm, really.
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Funny story: How emails can land you in trouble

How emails can land you in trouble

The BBC have given the go-ahead for TheSpoof to create a web-documentary, studying the effects of email in the workplace and, in particular, how they can land you in hot water. We began the investigation by asking the general public in the street about any unfortunate incidents they had encountered. We quickly found that up to 25% of you had been fired from your jobs for inappropriate email...
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Funny story: Celebrity Witchhunt - The TV Show

Celebrity Witchhunt - The TV Show

I demand a new reality TV show called "Celebrity Witchhunt". In the show, possibly fronted by Davina Macall, we would have two teams - Team A: made up of B-list celebrities...
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Funny story: Grand of Duke of York on Trial

Grand of Duke of York on Trial

At the old Bailey today, the grand old duke of york, or "Dukey" as his chums in the war office have to come to know him, is currently on trial for war crimes.
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Funny story: Microsoft - bringing the Apocalypse closer to home

Microsoft - bringing the Apocalypse closer to home

Psychologists have finally proved that Microsoft (hereafter known as Evil-M) are true; it really is destroying humankind as we know it. The frustration, which occurs when the computers crash, can well up, leading us to have rotten days, taking it out on others, leading to overall low morale. This can also lead to road rage, which in turn damages the environment and causes accidents, which a...
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Funny story: Product Recall: FIALFA COUPE (2.0 TURBO PLUS )

Product Recall: FIALFA COUPE (2.0 TURBO PLUS )

It has come to our attention that the above model may be slightly unreliable, and not function as intended when we drew up the plans one sunny Italian day during a wine-soaked 4 hour lunch. Occupants are in no way at risk, but as a precaution, your car should NOT be driven. FIALFA SA and their agents are not responsible for death, serious injury or other minor inconveniences caused in the...
View 'Product Recall: FIALFA COUPE (2.0 TURBO PLUS )'
Funny story: Penguins - the verdict

Penguins - the verdict

Recently here at TheSpoof, there has been some talk -- negative talk, I must divulge -- of a small breed of flightless Antarctic birds known as Penguins. As a distinguished and well-thought-of writer (by my mum), I feel this is an important theme which must be continued; a matter that must be discussed - and a case that, ultimately, should be closed. Therefore I have decided to proc...
View 'Penguins - the verdict'
Funny story: Skiddy Sid discovers Arsetrology

Skiddy Sid discovers Arsetrology

Sidney Skiddington, a top pathologist, amazed the psychic community when he revealed his amazing new method of fortune telling.
View 'Skiddy Sid discovers Arsetrology'
Funny story: Star Wars Shocker!

Star Wars Shocker!

Recent behind-the-scenes footage shows that there is more about the Star wars characters that meets the eye.
View 'Star Wars Shocker!'
Funny story: Moto-Pez<span class=sup>®</span> - Mobile Phone Future

Moto-Pez® - Mobile Phone Future

The vision of the future for mobile phone handsets has been revealed by Motorola today.
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Funny story: Al-Jizzera Receives Shocking Video

Al-Jizzera Receives Shocking Video

The Arab telly station Al-Jizzera received a tape believed to be from former Bullseye presenter/dictator Jim Bowen. The Americans denounced the film as "shocking, pure evil".
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Funny story: Woman breaks promise about coming round the mountain

Woman breaks promise about coming round the mountain

Shelley Bishop, 43, recently broke a promise to her nine year old niece by driving through a newly made tunnel at Stanbourne mountain, instead of 'coming round' it, as she had otherwise indicated.
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Funny story: Shampoo Boycott

Shampoo Boycott

Shampoo is exactly what it says a sham.
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Funny story: Firm sued for illegal use of Harry Potter copyright

Firm sued for illegal use of Harry Potter copyright

Liverpudlian arts and crafts firm, "Harry Pottery", have...
View 'Firm sued for illegal use of Harry Potter copyright'
Funny story: A Burney, California monster

A Burney, California monster

It has come to our attention that there is an unknown 12 foot tall creature lurking in the streets of Burney, California.
View 'A Burney, California monster'
Funny story: Hospitals see stars

Hospitals see stars

The Government has published it's Star ratings for hospitals. The stars range from zero stars (this hospital is full of infections and riddled with bureacracy) to three stars (this hospital is riddled with more infections and full of mind...
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Funny story: Saddam Hussein Never Existed

Saddam Hussein Never Existed

In an interview with TheSpoof, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf has revealed some shocking information that has sent shockwaves throughout the world. If the infamous "Comical Ali" is to believed, Saddam Hussein, the alleged dictator, was never born...
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Funny story: Millionaire Wants to Win Lottery so Others Can't

Millionaire Wants to Win Lottery so Others Can't

G. Jeffrey Chambers III, a self-made millionaire from Palm Beach, FL, has been playing the lottery for five months now. His motives, though, are different from those of most lottery participants.
View 'Millionaire Wants to Win Lottery so Others Can't'
Funny story: Shakespeare had a problem with his feelings

Shakespeare had a problem with his feelings

New evidence has emerged from documents found in the British Library, that suggest prolific and brilliant playwright, William Shakespeare was unable to smell very well.
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Funny story: Old people aren't dying like they used to!

Old people aren't dying like they used to!

A strange phenomenon has gripped the western coast of Britain - a phenomenon that scientists are at pains to resolve. It appears that the elderly in the area are living forever and not snuffing it. A scientist egg-head from the University of Bristol,...
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Funny story: Actors Stage Indefinite Strike

Actors Stage Indefinite Strike

Equity, the actors union, shocked the Art world by staging an indefinite strike.
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Funny story: Hopping good for the soul

Hopping good for the soul

Government officials are said to be considering new plans to make hopping into a national sport and past-time. Hopping has spent many years on the side-line as a childrens game in the form of hop-scotch. However, studies have shown that not only is h...
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Funny story: Lara Croft - Out of the Tomb

Lara Croft - Out of the Tomb

Lara Croft has been shown on our computer screens as a large-chested, larger-than-life woman, who will stop at nothing to rob ancient tombs and monuments of their jewels and artifacts, often displayed in her gallery back home.
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Funny story: No More Points for NFL

No More Points for NFL

Washington, D.C., July 10, 2003 -- In a stunning move National Football League commissioner Paul Tagliabue unveiled a new plan on Thursday to do away with the existing point-scoring system.
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Funny story: Shock Harry Potter Revelations

Shock Harry Potter Revelations

Following the massively successful release of the fifth Harry Potter novel, 'The Delayed Phoenix Order', Joanne K. Roald Rune Rowling today revealed shocking new plot twists for book six. Underaged drinking, drug experimentation and teenage s...
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Funny story: Fun and Games End For Young Boy

Fun and Games End For Young Boy

Billy Jenkins had been warned by his mother on numerous occassions: "Billy, it's all fun and games until someone gets their eye poked out!" Never one to listen to his mother, 8-year old Billy continued his rambunctious ways. Now, the...
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Funny story: Black OAP dies from natural causes - racially motivated say police

Black OAP dies from natural causes - racially motivated say police

An African-origin pensioner, currently not serving any time in prison despite having murdered five white children in his fifties, has died from natural causes aged 82. Police say that the death was almost certainly racially motivated as it ocurred i...
View 'Black OAP dies from natural causes - racially motivated say police'
Funny story: Kewell move sets Liverpool alive!

Kewell move sets Liverpool alive!

Liverpool supporters and players alike are said to be heavily overestimating their chances of turning the Premier League on its head after the successful purchase of Harry Kewell. Said one Liverpudlian:...
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Funny story: Betty Swollock receives amusing phone call

Betty Swollock receives amusing phone call

Until recently, the large neo-Georgian cathedral had always been the centre focus of the lovely and tiny city of Harchcaster. That is, until Roy Masterstone, 13, found an amusing entry in the local Thompson telephone directory. Roy, sat at his school...
View 'Betty Swollock receives amusing phone call'
Funny story: God admits: "I'm Gay"

God admits: "I'm Gay"

In an unprecedented move that has sent ripples through all denominations of the Christian faith, God, almighty creator and CEO of Christianity Inc., has officially 'come out' and admitted that he is a homosexual.
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Funny story: He Sold His Soul On Ebay

He Sold His Soul On Ebay

So you've got no money, no job, and nothng but a rusty old escort and your computer. Well for one man this was true untill three days ago he sold his soul on ebay.
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Funny story: Lara Croft - out of the tomb part 2 - The Croft

Lara Croft - out of the tomb part 2 - The Croft

By judging Lara's life, one would expect there to be training rooms and displays of her stolen treasures. This is true for the majority of the house, but alas her bedroom hides deeper secrets...
View 'Lara Croft - out of the tomb part 2 - The Croft'
Funny story: Peter Jackson's Trip Into the Past

Peter Jackson's Trip Into the Past

Peter Jackson, or Just Jackass amongst friends has made a startling revelation in the early hours of this morning concerning the epic Lord of the Rings saga.
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Funny story: Gore Elected President

Gore Elected President

Nashville, TN, July 10, 2003 - Former vice president Al Gore announced plans today to abandon his bid for the nation's top office. Instead, he has been elected president of Alticor, Inc. (formerly Amway Corp.) based in Ada, Michigan.
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Funny story: "Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly

"Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly

In a new survey published by the government, results have shown that the elderly tend to get upset by "fruity" or "bad" language. One elderly chap we found, agreed: "It's disgusting, all these young lads with their caps o...
View '"Fruity" language looked down upon by elderly'
Funny story: Church Refutes Gay Claims

Church Refutes Gay Claims

Anglican Church officials today denied that it ‘sexed-up' the Bible to include evidence that homosexuality was wrong.
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Funny story: EXCLUSIVE - Undercover man reveals truth: Women using periods as excuse

EXCLUSIVE - Undercover man reveals truth: Women using periods as excuse

Hot on the heels of the announcement that "Women to come with warning" is long-awaited proof that women actually feel normal during their monthly period...
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Funny story: Archer to be released: police fear for public

Archer to be released: police fear for public

Jeffrey Archer, the disgraced peer, is about to be released from prison within days. Police are warning the public, particularly old women, not to approach him. The former cabinet minister is expected to go straight to a halfway house near Buckingham...
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Funny story: Dumbing down of TV reaches pandemic proportions (that means really really big)

Dumbing down of TV reaches pandemic proportions (that means really really big)

Scientists today released their findings of long-term project conceived to quantify dumbing-down by the world's media.
View 'Dumbing down of TV reaches pandemic proportions (that means really really big)'
Funny story: Wigan Waster's Musical Shocker

Wigan Waster's Musical Shocker

Les, a useless no-hoper was amazed to find that a West End musical was being staged in celebration of his life.
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Funny story: Henman defeated; blames opponent

Henman defeated; blames opponent

Tim Henman, the tennis-er, has finally been defeated in this year's Wimbledon tournament. Henman, who despite not having a very good voice is UK No. 1 (sorry), has laid the blame of his hugely unexpected defeat upon the shoulders of his...
View 'Henman defeated; blames opponent'
Funny story: Prescott Punishes Pregnant Prima donna's

Prescott Punishes Pregnant Prima donna's

John Prescott, the plain-speaking Deputy Prime Minister, enraged women's rights groups when he announced new laws limiting decibel levels, during childbirth.
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Funny story: Harry's Haunted Underpants

Harry's Haunted Underpants

Young Harry Brown shocked his school teacher when he told her of his haunted underpants.
View 'Harry's Haunted Underpants'
Funny story: US In New Global Domination Bid

US In New Global Domination Bid

The United States of America today revealed the next scary stage in it's plan for global domination.
View 'US In New Global Domination Bid'
Funny story: "Gruntled" man, loses his edge

"Gruntled" man, loses his edge

Geoffrey Simmons, 34, was today stripped of his title for "Most gruntled man in the UK". Simmons is said to have lost the title after finding himself on the end of a "right royal roasting" from his wife, which happened just three...
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Funny story: Foxy Hunting Outlawed

Foxy Hunting Outlawed

The government today banned the practice of foxy hunting despite the protests of many randy yokels. The sport was banned after studies showed that the wenches, hunted in Britain since the days of King Edward the Horny, were becoming too buxom...
View 'Foxy Hunting Outlawed'
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