Spoof news stories from Monday 14 January 2002
Lassie has been scolded this month after leaving a nasty 'mess' on the home rug.
Scientists at Hope University in Boston, Mass. released details today of a recent incident in one of their refraction labs.
The mighty Rubik's Cube is finally to become standard teaching! After spending 2 decades left out in the cold, teaching union: Matriculation On Another Nuance (MOAN) have finally gotten permission to include Rubik's Cube lessons as part of th...
In a remarkable series of events, Chess Master, Peter Andrenov, has destroyed his opponents soul during a clash in Prague.
The End of The World conjures up several images, the first would be The Dave Matthews band and that song from the "Everyday" album "When the World Ends".
In a recent survey conducted by the UK mobile phone authority it has been revealed that mobile phones can, when thrown hard enough, inflict serious brain damage.
Mr Abel Snodrington (Jr) of Tunbridge Wells today discovered that one of his pet camels humps had appeared on his own back. He discovered it as he was putting down a fresh saucer of milk for his wife.
Next year's Extreme Olympiad, the major event in the calendar of all extreme sports enthusiasts, is set to be the most extreme yet. It's a big celebration of the extreme culture that has gripped the youth market in the USA - and extreme is th...
A member of the upbeat pop group the Lighthouse Family is still in intensive care today after thinking a negative thought.
There have been growing protests across Britain for an end to Europhilia, and for the introduction of "Norman's Law", named after Norman Lamont, the former Chancellor whose political career was killed by Europhilia.
Bill Gates has decided to do a bit of HTML programming here in the UK today!...
In what is continuing to become one of the most shocking and disturbing occurrences of the new millennium so far, refuse disposal technician and sci-fi writer Dan Collins (28) discovered that not all smarties, are the same size, in fact yellow smarti...
We say goodbye to an American Icon as Mr. Rodgers of Mr. Rodgers' Neighborhood has retired this year after celebrating 45 years in children's television.
'The Ref Was blind!' was the first thing he said as we met. The alley was dark, and the only hint I had that my interviewee had arrived was the smell of cheap aftershave.
People who find it hard to run the whole gamut will certainly welcome the introduction of so-called bite-sized gamuts this year.
BBC boss Greg Dyke today announced his plans for the new interactive channels to be offered on Digital TV. Among them include a channel which has the ability to watch you, and add a whole new dimension to existing programmes.
The total casualty count from US terrorism is increasing as suspicious white powders continue to surface across the nation.
A Bournemouth man is celebrating this morning after been confirmed as the first man ever to have ordered an omelette from an Indian restaurant.
A large package containing white powder which was found in an un-named London office building was yesterday found to be simple cocaine, and not the deadly anthrax that workers feared.
A man has run into the middle of London, a typically big city, and killed everyone with a chain saw. Blood and eyes are still being cleaned off things such as dogs and monuments. Victims were heard to shout "oh God oh sweet Jesus have mercy oh...
(Hollywood, CA) A long anticipated reunion movie of the popular television series The Golden Girls was halted when all four stars of the show found it difficult to get through shooting without soiling themselves.
Los Angeles, CA - Jules Asner, E! Entertainment television hottie and superstar mathlete, has been suspended by the National Mathletic Association (NMA).
Fretting mother Denise Runyan can't seem to get her son away from his computer. Mrs. Runyan, who is a stay at home mother of three, has been trying to find alternate activities for her son because of what she calls "a serious problem."...
Barney the Purple Dinosaur had liposuction last month in an attempt to change the shows format.
(Virginia Beach, Virginia) Star Wars memorabilia collector Ted Peterson collects action figures and posters from the popular movie series and considers himself a veteran of the on-line auction website ebay.
It has become apparent that Bob Dylan, the old singer, could be executed.
The Magic Circle, that respected organisation that looks after all practitioners of the 'black arts', lost its cool over claims that Harry Potter was a 'lurve child'.
17 year old genius Stan Freeman has instrumented the capture of Osama Bin Laden and collected the $25,000,000 Bounty.
Everyone always said that it was only a matter of time before the United States ran out of electricity. And that time is now upon us - or at least it will be soon. Washington was notified of the emergency just days ago and has been rushing around,...
Washington officials have confirmed reports that America's squirrels are most likely beginning to organize - and may be planning some kind of a coup.
The hilarious children's cartoon character Bob the Builder has caused concern amongst parents by announcing his new single will be a cover of NWA's "Gangsta Gangsta".
I was 8 years old when I began to play the clarinet. I was forced to by my mother, another one of her passing phases for her to accomplish her dreams through me.
Go placidly amid the glitches and errors and remember what peace there may be in DSL. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all message boards. Type your truth spelled properly and with grammatical correctness; and read others, even the dull and ignorant; they too have their story.
"Letter Bombshell - I've had some mail and it wasn't junk!" claims Sheffield woman.