Spoof news stories from Thursday 5 July 2001
Play at wimbledon was stopped at the beginning of this month by a drug police squad, after they had recieved an anonymous tip-off that the ground keepers at the Wimbledon tennis grounds had been growing an illegal drug on centre court.
Police were called early today to the vicarage of the church of Donny in the Wold amid reports that the resident vicar, Father Seamus O'Flannigan, had sunk his teeth into the Bishop of Brighton's bottom.
School kids in Arizona are to start a new subject as part of their syllabus: exams.
A shocking revelation came to light earlier today from the Minister of Education that is sure to cause controversy.
The British weather boom continues. According to a leading meteorological expert we've already had more weather this year than in the last three years put together.
Milton Stamp, office supply entrepreneur and inventor died at his home recently after an extended illness. Stamp was well known to his colleagues, who, according to his wife Berta, were always somewhat skeptical about his ideas.
After years of research, Canadian scientists have discovered the chemical make-up of nougat, the tasty, soft compound found in candy bars such as Snickers. Six years of laboratory testing have finally paid of for the team of researchers based in a se...
The Hanes Company, long known for it fine undershirts, socks, and underwear, delved into a new market with the announcement of their new line of crotch socks.
An Essex man was in trouble this morning when he ran out of new things to read on the toilet.
A beech-effect internal door was slammed last night for its behaviour.
Confusion reigned in Rome today amid reports that next month's opening of the Gladiatorial Games at the Coliseum was under threat. Snuff movie mogul Theopolis Theodopholis was distraught when interviewed at his Pisa mansion. "It's not...
After discovering some dated literature in the House of Commons, a recent speech made by Tony Blair did not help him in beginning his new term in office well. Not well at all.
Average businessman, Keith Remington, is to sue fast food chain McDonalds amid claims that food he ordered via a local drive-thru came to him without error.
Scientists have finally discovered exactly which corners danger is most likely to lurk around. The scientists at L'Oreal have been working on the question of whether danger lurks around every corner.
The director who made blockbusters such as Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind claims he was abducted by aliens before he became famous.
Environmental health chiefs were urgently placing product recall advertisements around the countryside last night after a haystack in Kent was found to contain a needle.
A Bostonian man who always signs his e-mails with ;-) is in hospital today with a slipped face.Barry Large of Boston, Mass., reported feeling unwell late Thursday night. He telephoned is doctor to say his face felt "like it was turning sideways&...
A man diagnosed as "deeply sad" was said to be improving last night. Doctors say his condition was triggered by falling into a dilemma last Friday evening.
Soon to be on the lips of all, is "Gypsy Mozzarella, pavement pizza artist to the stars!"...
Ruthless Joe, said to be one of the fastest gun men in the west, has been found guilty of Varmintism.
Jean-Claude Van Damme is now a part of the World Wide Web. His new site Van Dam Cam.com will be up next month. The site lets you peek into the life of the action star.
I was watching tennis last night on the telly, and I didn't quite understand what it was about. Two people just hitting a ball around, I mean come on! At least with football you have some kind of team action going on. But with tennis it's just like, what?!...
People who chat on the internet should be aware, a group of thieves are working the web and taking what they see. E-Crime is on the up, and the E part is only half the operation. "Internet thieves? Ha - Don't make me laugh!", I hear you cry. But don't get too complacent my dears, these people are professionals, and very light fingered ones at that! The thieves mainly target single males, who...