Spoof news stories from Sunday 5 August 2001
A gang of thieves, whose blatant scummery has shocked locals, has rocked Milton Keynes, North Bucks. They've been nicking public loo-rolls, and the council is doing practically absolutely nothing about it.
Her Majesty the Queen launched a damning indictment of the British people today.
Utah Jazz guard John Starks hasn't been the same since his playing minutes shrunk this past season. Just recently he found out his testicle was missing.
A British scientists have discovered that the hokey cokey is not in fact what it's all about, in a report to be published later today.
In a speech to the Commons today Prime Minister Tony Blair said the country is now "moving in the right direction".
Student leaders were stunned when the brutality of the latest E.E.C. Directive began to sink in!...
Rock musician Mike Oldfield is to release a new album as a follow-up to Tubular Bells Part 47.
Sarah Michelle Geller was charged with murder yesterday. Geller accidentally plunged a wooden stake through the heart of the shows director.
Jubilant British Cyber-physicists were last night on the brink of making the most important scientific breakthrough since man first stepped on the moon - or so they say. After weeks of painstaking research and endless fruitless experimentation, it is...
The row over claims that NHS surgeons were manipulating waiting lists in order to comply with strict government guidelines continued today amid accusations that the clock in the waiting room of St James's Hospital, Leeds A and E department was ru...
A probe was launched at the BBC today amid claims that award winning children's television programme Blue Peter was making use of subliminal messages designed to warp young minds.
The Health and Safety Executive has recently been called in to investigate a spate of freak accidents, involving 'flying pensioners', that continue to plague nursing homes in the Border regions of Scotland.
Sources close to the Conservative Party today reiterated claims that Ann Widdecombe was not in fact anorexic. In refuting the claims, the way would now seem clear for Miss Widdecombe to stand for the Tory Leadership.
It was just one gigantic hoax, folks! Those colourful Sunday Sport stories from the eighties that gripped the nation's imagination were nothing more than barefaced lies!...
A Manchester man who claims he is now "inside the Queen Mother" has been speaking exclusively to TheSpoof. Barry Fatt, of Wearside Road, Manchester explained that he had been a blood donor since 1982 and had given over 1000 pints of blood.
In Daytona, Florida, on the International Speedway, a young man of 20 yrs, decided to impress the 13 yr. old girl in the car next to him.
Irish boy band Westlife have stunned the public by announcing that their latest album will be written entirely by themselves and will not be full of dreary ballads.
Arnold Edgeworth, famed Archeologist and author of the highly publicized work, "The Darwinian Theory Applied To Inanimate Objects", last week announced a significant discovery.
A medical report published last week states that the popular supplement taken by pregnant mothers may raise the chances of a pregnancy resulting in twins. Many women take folic acid during pregnancy to prevent their child from getting spina bifida or...
A skydiver broke all physical laws earlier this month as she fell beyond the speed of terminal velocity. Shiela Wilkins, 42, fell at a fantastic rate, approaching 230 mph on her way down to earth. Said Shiela, "It was incredible; I went from bei...
What do Sir David Attenborough, Craig Doyle and Keith Floyd have in common? They're all fakes according to Jim Wriddle, who worked in the BBC canteen for more than thirty years.
Shopping giant Walmart has announced plans to extend the length of one day to 30 hours. The idea of extending the day came from 'Wally' (the $20bn expert system), similar to 'Deep Thought' from Douglas Adam's novel 'The Hitchh...
Children at Mowtown School, Illinois, have created the world's most imprecise clock. The impressive structure stretches grandly between the sandpit and the water trough.
Uri Geller has been told by doctors to rest after being diagnosed with a mild case of the bends during deep water diving in Gibraltar.
Fast-coffee chain, Starbucks, are to cut back on costs by making all their latte drinks with water instead of milk. The new drink, going under the name of 'New-Coffee' is said to already be a big hit.
Developers at Core design, the people who 'gave birth' to Lara Croft, sex-icon of the virtual world, have announced that Ms. Croft has taken her life into her own hands and now acts independently of the team at Core.
The keyboard buttons Ctrl and C are reported to be engaged to marry this Summer. The two, who work adjacent to each other in offices, are well known as an inseparable couple.
The cost of the Earth has fallen over the last ten years, according to a new world financial report.
Pluto has been arrested following a violent fracas with owner, Mickey Mouse. The naughty dog is expected to be freed on bail with the words: "Bad dog, naughty dog, get in your basket!"...
Yesterday the United States Senate voted 61-39 in favor of a tax break that would allow pimps to claim their ho's as dependants while still receiving a $1,000 tax credit per ho.
With summer already here, many readers may have already been on their annual summertime excursions to the beach and held many a cookout. However, its never too late to learn some new fun and safety tips.