Showing snippets written by Ricardo Fromage.
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Head or Gut?
Researchers in the UK spend two years to determine which came first? The chicken or the egg.UK tax payers wonder where they should punch them first, head or gut?
Fox News change name to Faux News
In order to align its name with the quality of it's reporting Fox becomes Faux on Friday. Now the channel can focus fully on making up bad things about Obama and not have to worry about the real world
Arsenal have full quota says Wenger
After signing another French player nobody has ever heard of, Arsene Wenger says he does not need anymore central defenders as he now has two and that's all you need for for a 4-1-2-1-2-1 formation
Fox News apologises for poor reporting standards
A Fox News spokesperson issued a public apology yesterday after it's report on the Icelandic volcano forgot to mention that the eruption was caused by President Obama's healthcare plans.
Pope to do world tour of victims
Following his meeting with 6 victims of child abuse by Catholic priests, the Pope has vowed to meet every victim personally, starting at Wembley Stadium followed by The San Siro, The Camp Nou,........
Space Time Continuum hole found at Old Trafford
Dr Stephen Hawking has discovered a tear in the space time contuum above Old Trafford which when when exposed to hot air causes time to expand for as long as it takes for Man United to score a goal.
Harry Potter films not realistic
A ginger kid with 2 friends, not very likely says UK education expert Mandy Lifeboats.
UK extends vetting for kiddy fiddlers again and again
UK Government announces theatres, cinemas and ratuarants will not be able to seat adults with children unless the adults have been vetted and paid a 64 pound admin fee.
UK extends vetting for kiddy fiddlers again
UK Government announces that any adult wishing to attend a school play, sports day or school fete will have to vetted and pay a 64 pound admin fee.
UK extends vetting for Kiddy Fiddlers
UK government announces that any adult wishing to book an airline seat next to a child will have to be vetted and subjected to a 64 pound admin fee.
New Kiddie Fiddler help line
UK government to use swine flu call centres to vet people who think they might be kiddy fiddlers.Untrained and unsupervised staff will then advise them whether they should turn themselves in.
Wengers promises "massive signings"
Arsene Wenger has promised Arsenal fans he will be buying a new goalkeeper, two new centre backs and a new striker shortly, just as soon as he can get permission from the primary school in Lyon.
Netanyahu promises naff all - shock!
In a ground breaking speech, Israeli Prime Minister, Benyamin Netanyahu promises the equivalent of two tenths of naff all to the Palestinian people. No more to follow.
You couldn't make it up
The CEO of a Rugby team in OZ has resigned following allegations that he suggested to a female employee that she should spank him to punish him for punching her.It's funnier than the made up stuff!
Careless Brown told off by my Mum
Gordon Brown is offically "careless" after losing almost every seat in the local elections as well as almost every seat in Europe. As my Mum always told me, once is unlucky, twice is careless
MP spends own money - shock
Andrew Farquharson-Brown, MP for Wanton Buttocks(South)admitted yesterday that he had actually paid for something with his own money."I am very sorry for having let the side down" He said snivellingly
Toon go down
Newcastle has gone down which has nothing to do with football just the normal goings on every Friday night by the young ladies of the above mentioned place, allegedly.
Arsenal to let Ade go
Arsenal are considering letting striker Adebayor join arch rivals, Chelsea in return for 5 Pukka pies and a shopping trip with John Terry's Mum. Arsenal fans think it's a good deal.
John Terry to change name
The Chelsea captain, John Terry, who is paid several million pounds a week despite contributing nothing to the betterment of society is to change his name to Isaac Hunt with immediate effect.
Sir Fred not banking on St Andrews
Sir Fred Goodwin, the person solely responsible for the UK recession has been refused entry to St. Andrews. He said" I don't know why, I don't even like football or Birmingham for that matter"
The bowl of plenty
Revelations that Labour hard man, John Prescott has claimed for repairs to two toilet seats under the free loading MP expenses scheme is being taken as further evidence that he is in fact, a fat git
High Brow expenses
The Chancellor, Alistair Darling claimed over 400 pounds of British taxpayers money in 2007 for eybrow tinting and trimming. The taxpayers are asking for a public enquiry.
Jamie's tongue in cheek
Following on from the worlds first full face transplant, celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has asked the same medical team to conduct a tongue reduction operation in order for his to fit into his mouth.
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