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Ferguson explodes because of colour blind killing!
A colour blind, armed police officer killed an unarmed youth who just happened to be black and was judged not guilty by a colour free court, now everything has gone black or white; non colours BTW!
Lewis Hamilton has fastest designer beard on the planet!
Without any Mercedes Benz know-how Lewis Hamilton has just been crowned "World Fastest Designer Beard Champion". He has a special trimmer in the form of a Siamese cat who licks him after every race!
New York now belongs to the Polar Circle!
The deep freeze hitting northeast US has forced Google Maps to enter the area into the Polar circle. Eskimos and Polar Bears were seen playing in the snow after deserting their global-warmed homeland!
ISIS is not headless!
Rebel fighters fighting ISIS have confirmed the fact that they are not a bunch of headless chickens, however, they are a bunch of loony headbangers who love giving head!
Oh, BTW, United have now been reincarnated!
Dead, buried Man United have been renamed Lazarus after a miracle happened in London. They actually beat someone on away terrain and their manager Louis v Gaal has been renamed Jesus in double Dutch
The ghost of Jaggedone is alive!
Ex-Spoof writer, Jaggedone, now a ghostly 'Fata Morgana' has been reincarnated and declared an immortal Spoofer after confirming that people still read his utter crap, WOW!
Is there anybody out there?
Alarming news report: The Spoof UK has just capsized in the Med attempting to enter Europe, Italy refuse to help because there is a rumoured outbreak of 'writers empathy' on board a deadly disease!
Headless chicken appears on internet!
A headless chicken has appeared on internet, they believe it is a Man U player running around in circles not knowing what the hell to do next! Double Dutch lessons needed!
Balotelli learns Scouse!
Italian rascal, super Mario, landed in Liverpool only to find nobody understands his Italio English! He is now taking lessons in 'scouse' because nobody understands what the hell he is doing there!
Angel lands in Manchester!
Argentinian Angel lands in Manchester as United fans hope for a miracle. City fans believe it is a "Fata Morgana" (I agree)
Louis loses and Holland sinks without trace!
Dutch people are preparing for life having a loser at the helm of a once so successful, juggernaut. He was their last hope of achieving success and now it sinks in a North Sea storm, they need a dyke!
Fellaini bags last minute Brussel Sprout!
Man Utd were saved by a much maligned Belgian who in the last minute bagged a Brussel sprout and shot down a bunch of Oranges. Idiots jeering his every move also were made to swallow their crap!!
Obama declares war on Putin!
Barack Obama has declared war on Putin because he prefers to attack an enemy he knows rather than one who he hasn't the foggiest idea who the hell ISIS are!
ISIS claim victory over Saddam Hussein
ISIS are marching forward in Iraq and have promised to drive over dead bodies to reach their goal, one of their high-level victims is Saddam Hussein!
Putin declares war on Iraq
Putin has declared war on Iraq because he has nothing better to do and is desperately in need of attention!
Fellaini begs Louis for exit!
Man U misfit has begged Louis van G to let him leave because Belgians do not like the Dutch and he would prefer to show off his skills in Naples with a Spanish trainer! Now who's Double Dutch!
Israel want Gaza Strip as casino!
Israel are determined to get rid of Palestinians in the Gaza Strip because they want to turn the place into a new Las Vegas; money my boy, money!
Vietnam will never be the same!
Robin Williams RIP and Vietnam will never be the same again!
Russian separatists living it up!
As world media attention flows to Iraq, Russian separatists are having a bomb of a time because nobody gives a shit anymore about Putin!
Syria offer Iraqi refugees a bomb of a time!
Iraqi refugees rushing to the Syrian border have been welcomed with open arms as Syria offer them much of the same; bombs, tanks, death and destruction. It's Arabian solidarity!
Hitler seen in Jerusalem
Hitler seen in Jerusalam banging his head against the wall and asking god why he didn't finish the job! Israeli soldiers took him away for interrogation and a few tips on how to finish Palestine!
George Bush comes out of retirement
George Bush is coming out of retirement to finish of what he did not do, exterminate Iraq!
cracked genius, brilliant comedian, many demons, sums him up actually; sad day!
Scot's coffee is stronger than Italian!
Scientists have proven that Scottish coffee is stronger than Italian; aye laddie, just a wee dram!
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