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Two-Headed Man Named Top FBI Interrogator
After 20 years as a double-agent, the FBI today named Gooden Meaney, reknowned for his 'good cop/bad cop' grilling techniques, as head(s) of its criminal interrogation unit.
Porn Actor Jailed for Sexual Harassment
Talked dirty and groped female co-star. Offered lame excuse "I thought the cameras were rolling." Now called Buffy and starring in underground prison gay sex videos.
Zamboni Navy to Rebuild Polar Ice Cap
At last week's meeting, the G20 announced the purchase of a fleet of floating Zamboni machines to rebuild the north polar ice cap in a desperate attempt to defeat global warming.
Roto-Rooter to Offer Colonoscopies
To expand its business, Roto-Rooter announced a 2 for 1 offer of pipe inspection and in-house colonoscopy. Prompt treatment of blockages is promised with their dual-use FireHose vacuum snake probe.
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