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Missile misses Eilat & hits Jordan!
Alex Reid this morning denied all knowledge of a missile strike on his estranged wife Jordan. 12 people were killed and more would have died had the missile not exploded between her bum cheeks!
Apple Launch New Female Friendly iPad
The New Apple "Fem Pad with Wings" launches Monday & is expected be a huge hit with Women Worldwide as it has a Application that'll tell it's owner exactly how moist they are at any given time!
UPS & FEDEX to Merge !
Due to dwindling market share & plummeting morale amongst the staff, UPS & Fedex are planning to merge.
They'll relaunch soon after the consolidation period with their new Company, "FEDUP".
Subo "First Blood" Begins Filming!
She's back but this time it's personal!
National Centre for Dyslexia Opens in London!
Gordon Brown announced the opening of the National Centre for Dyslexia (or NDC for short) today in London. "I hope that this centre will leave many sufferers untied" announced the Prime Minister.
Tiger Woods dropped again!
On his head!
Black Betty had another Child!
Damn things gone wild! Oh well, third time lucky?
Iranian Vote Counter in shock promotion!
One armed Ahmed Ahmed the official Persian Vote counter was today sensationally promoted in a low key ceremony in Tehran.
Ahmed said that he had no idea what he'd done to deserve such high praise.
Emergency Banana is now back in position!
The Emergency Banana has now been located & Mr.Okabokaflongo would like to apologise to Mr.Ahmad, Mr.Okolo & Mr.Nick from Ghana for the abuse & violence caused during the dramatic loss of the Banana.
High Court Judge reveals recent explanations by Teddy Shagnasty as to why he got arrested.
It wasn't me! I was only holding the Dog ! I thought it was Vimto, so I drank it! It wouldn't have been so bad but she bit me with my own teeth!
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