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Texas Discusses Secession

The 'Great Fence of Texas' now a certainty.

written by Mr. Lizard, 22 April 2009
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GM: Bankruptcy Likely

General Motors today announced the initiation of contingency plans as CEOs carefully packed their golden parachutes.

written by Mr. Lizard, 18 April 2009
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Adam Sandler Stars In 3-D Movie

His character still comes off as two dimensional.

written by Mr. Lizard, 21 March 2009
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Sci-Fi Channel To Change Name

Introducing: The Straight-To-Video channel!

written by Mr. Lizard, 19 March 2009
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Rihanna Back With Chris Brown

"I couldn't find anybody who touched me like he did; I missed the feel of his warm knuckle on my eye socket."

written by Mr. Lizard, 14 March 2009
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Punishment Fits the Crime

In an eleventh hour ruling the judge in the Bernie Madoff case decreed that Madoff be stripped of all I.D. & money,& left in an alley with a sign that reads "Will drop pants and bend over for food."

written by Mr. Lizard, 12 March 2009
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Bernie Madoff could get 150 years

He could be out in 100 with good behavior...even earlier with death.

written by Mr. Lizard, 11 March 2009
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Young Girl Has 6 Organs Plus Tumor Removed

After much brow-knitting and head-scratching,everything but a kidney was returned.

written by Mr. Lizard, 11 March 2009
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Palin Already Planning 2012 Presidential Run

This should give her time to do some research and find out what a "Bush Protocol" is.

written by Mr. Lizard, 10 March 2009
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Advisers Want Obama to Blame Bush by Name

...and stop refering to him as "that one".

written by Mr. Lizard, 10 March 2009
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Orwell, Ya Missed It!

Cell phone cameras, YouTube and shallow morals. Sweet jumpin' Jesus on a pogo stick. Everybody - we are our own Big Brother!

written by Mr. Lizard, 08 March 2009
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...And A Cheesecloth Umbrella!

An amendment to the bank bail-outs requires that Golden Parachutes be replaced by Golden Showers.

written by Mr. Lizard, 06 March 2009
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Ba-rute!

Vance has changed; he used to open cans of whup-ass, now he pours cordials of face-slap.

written by Mr. Lizard, 06 March 2009
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Presto!

Little Timmy decided to become a magician when he learned his big sister was making $100 a trick.

written by Mr. Lizard, 06 March 2009
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Palestinian/Israeli Peace Talks Break Down

Netanyahu caught twittering.

written by Mr. Lizard, 03 March 2009
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Octomom Career Option #1

Human clown car.

written by Mr. Lizard, 02 March 2009
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Why, He's So Dumb...

He thinks post nasal drip is a breakfast cereal!

written by Mr. Lizard, 27 February 2009
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Mr. Lizard's Political Mad-Libs

When warned of an impending recession by (name of recent former vice-president),(name of recent former president) is reported to have asked, "If the weather is nice can we have it outside?"

written by Mr. Lizard, 25 February 2009
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Obama's Message to Bush

"Pick up! I know you're there you shifty-eyed little gnome! Answer the phone Goddamnit!"

written by Mr. Lizard, 25 February 2009
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Octomom Offered 1 Million to Do Porno

...And that's just the birth video.

written by Mr. Lizard, 25 February 2009
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W works in hardware store

Wingnut joke waits anxiously on sidelines.

written by Mr. Lizard, 23 February 2009
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Palin cites media malpractice

"They were very mean." Pouts former candidate, "Especially that SNL news network,and reporter Jon Stewart."

written by Mr. Lizard, 23 February 2009
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Government focuses on banks' "Bad-Assets"

America enjoys a collective giggle.

written by Mr. Lizard, 22 February 2009
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Secret of Universe within reach!

Senate divided

written by Mr. Lizard, 22 February 2009
Showing page 1 (of 2 pages)


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