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Sarah Palin's Outrage Retraction
Upon hearing Rahm Emanuel's offensive comments were directed at liberal democrats, she told reporters "Well never mind then. They ARE F-ing retards!"
Sarah Palin Debuts on Fox News
"There is an obvious disconnect between when the neurons in my brain fire and raw sewage comes out of my mouth."
Joe Wilson "Obama IS dithering, I looked it up!"
"dithering heights has always been one of my favorite books, too."
Fox News is Number 1!
Among people with extreme mental deficiencies.
Glenn Beck shocker
Tells the world he has a "deep seated hatred" of intelligent people.
Michael Jackson Rocks Google!
The site reports that since his death, web searches for "dead pedophile" have gone up over 130,000%.
Governor Sarah Palin Resigns
In response to her functional illiteracy becoming public knowledge, Palin steps down. Governor's press secretary disputes this, saying she is resigning "cause Jesus told her to"
Michael Jackson Autopsy Shockers
Officials say they literally found the little boy in Jackson. Not sure how he got there, doctors estimate the young child asphyxiated inside the pop star at some point in the 80's
Grim Reaper Tries To Make Ammends
His press secretary says to make up for the death of Farrah Fawcett, he decided to take out two scourges on society:Michael Jackson, and Billy Mays.
Psychologists Say Jackson Misunderstood Golden Rule
Jesus did not mean that he should do to little boys what he would like them to do to him.
Authorities Discover Incomplete, "Disturbing" Jackson Family Photobook
Police decline to comment on the pictures of Jackson with his children, except to say that the working title was "Hop on Pop"
Jackson's Death: Oh Ye of Little Faith
Estimates show that as many as 23% of atheists now report a belief in a higher power
Jackson's Death Rocks Business World
Lojack© Corporation says it will discontinue its Lojack For Kids© program
Michael Jackson Busted!
Pays ultimate price in a cosmic episode of "To Catch a Predator"
Michael Jackson's Death Leaves Aftershocks
CEO of Fox Broadcasting Company announces they will be canceling their newest reality program, "Touched by a Jackson"
King of Pop Dead
Children all over Iran heard to be chanting "Allah Akbar"
Michael Jackson Dead
NAMBLA observes moment of silence
Michael Jackson Dies of Heart Attack
In other news, NAMBLA is searching for a new spokesman
Sarah Palin's Consignment Shop Changes Name
Out of the Closet owner Ellen Arvold changes store name to Second Run, "We needed to change our name to protect our identity- we are in the business of selling vintage clothing-not snake oil."
Madonna Tests Positive For Steroids
The pop star reportedly blamed it on Alex Rodriguez's "secret sauce"
Madonna Tells Press Alex Rodriguez has 12" Penis
"See, they don't call him A Rod for nothing." Madonna tells reporters, "Though his balls are tiny and he has a hairy back."
Sarah Palin Speaks Out!
Puts bumper sticker on her Suburban reading "My daughter is faster than your honor student." She probably didn't think that through too well.
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