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Risk Sanatorium is seriously miffed not to have been made a Cardinal by El Papa.
"I have the credentials - I'm really Italian."
He had aspired to run for Pope himself after 8 years as President.
The other 50%?
Herman Cain claims that 50% of Americans are stupid!
Check your Math, Herman; what about the GOP members who couldn't understand the question.
Houston Funeral a Mitm Romney plot
Back home in Georgia, Gingnotsorich compains CNN have diverted their attention from the GOP primary race, just as he was hoping to get back on track.
"My ambitions have been frustrated!" he claimed.
Non-Prescription Reporting Abuse
Not content with waiting for official cause of Whitney's death, CNN are dealing with the possibilities with overkill.
Why don't you deal with more important things in the News, CNN?
Estha the Elephant
It has just be revealed that the books that fill Newt Gingnotsorich house are unsold copies of his wife Calista's new book.
Mrs Gingnotsorich introduced her husband speech at CperPAC today. She admitted that her house is full of book.
She failed to say that Newt doesn't read!
Oh Newt - a little advice. Buy your wife a decent wig!
That will be Two Bristols, please
Bristol are launching their own currency, with the backing of the council and a credit union.
The "Bristol Pound" will be printed in notes, and also traded electronically.
Italy sues Germany for losing WW2
"Hitler failed to keep his promise to give us North America when he ruled the world. All we have is New York and Las Vegas." said attorney preparing class action on behalf of every citizan.
CNN declares war on Eyeran.
Unrelated statements from us, Isreal? and Eyeran have been cut & pasted.
According to CNN, Isreal? will hit Eyeran next week and Eyeran will quickly retaliate against us!
Solidad's job is secure!
If I ruled the World - Romney and Facebook?
MITM is reportedly buying out Facebook shares in his bid to be President of the World.
With over 600,000,000 members (all prone to gaffs & contextural errors in their posts) is he on a winner?
#4 wife at Gazebo on the Lake?
Inside source leak, Las Vegas: Newt to divorce 3rd wife, to marry Mrs Gingnotsorich 4!
He was knocked out by Floridian Mitty Romney last week.
Maids of Honor to be Paula Ronn and Ricaria Sanatorium.
Who do you admire most of the GOP candidates?
Or do you prefer the American public who refuse to vote for these clowns.
If every person on Facebook were to get a share, it would be like MITM Romney giving 25c to all the poor in USA. Not enough to go round!
2 legs good, 4 legs bad
President Felipe Calderón has dismissed concerns for his health. "Yes, I have felt a little feverish," he said at press conference, "My snout has been filling up and oink, oink, oink, oink, oink".
Michelle's Map Tattoo
Mrs Obama confirmed she has a World map tattoo on her backside. "Barack uses it to bum up his geography, he likes the area where it says 'Here there be monsters'! Bo Wo Wo did not bite off Australia."
Japanese whale research fleet admitted it was Somali Pirates and not Greenpeace that were responsible for this years poor returns.
"Wild in the Country"
Anabella Lwin to re-release Bow-Wow-Wow's 1st hit single to coincide with 1st Dog, Bo Wo Wo Obama's 1st trip to Camp David.
Bailout for Alpo: TARP funds save petfoods
On his first announcement from the Dog House, Bo Wo Wo Obama (America's first black '1st Dog'), made $1T available to ailing Big 3 pet food manufacturers.
The reality of super celeb
Jade Goody is unavailable for comment.
Vote for Goat!
Vindicated goat, Mbillia Capra Aegagrus Hircus, has declaired himself a candidate in the next Nigerian Presidential Election, representing the Nigerian 419 Scam Party.
Chunnel Security Tightened
In a bid to halt the surge of Illegal Immigration from the United Kingdom to "Anywhere else but here", French lorry drivers have blockaded the East end of the Channel tunnel. Rosbeef, Gardez dehors!
Barack Omama took time off yesterday to pen his 1st Presidential Autobiography "The First 100 Hours" - To be rush released to beat George W Bush's Tome "Tonguetwisters Of Office" to the bookstores.
INAUGURATION: Flash news
Gravity of the Moment increased to prevent Inauguration gawkers from floating off into space.
Canada Goose Attack:
Tension increases on US - Canada border as Canada Goose missile brings down plane in Hudson River.
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