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Public Service Message

Are you illiterate? Do the words on a page confuse you? We can Help. Our tutors are available 24 hours a day, 365 days per year to help you read better. Write us for FREE help!

written by Illusnist, 29 January 2009
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Icelandic Minister of Finance Quits

"The job is not as much fun since we stopped loaning money to anyone who could fill out the forms. And now the banks have collapsed, people act like I should have seen it coming. I quit."

written by Illusnist, 27 January 2009
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Spoof Writer Plugs Himself

A spoof writer used the "Snippet" board to promote one of his most popular articles about Global Warming.

written by Illusnist, 25 January 2009
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Freemason Conspiracy Revealed

Document discovered in the south of France last month prove that the Freemasons have been unwittingly used for centuries to cover the true purposes of Wiccan priests.

written by Illusnist, 23 January 2009
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Rock Houses

It is equally true, but not as often noted, that people who live in rock houses should not throw glass. Statistics show this has happened far more often, and results in serious injury 25% of the time.

written by Illusnist, 23 January 2009
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The World's Problems Solved!

Long time Bowery bum, Andrew Connell, woke up Thursday with the realisation that he knew how to solve all the world's problems. Too excited to pay attention, he ran in front a lorry, dying instantly.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Understanding Horticulture

Little Billy Benson exploded yesterday afternoon, showering his friend Dougie with six large watermelons. This amazing occurrence, while rare, is proof positive that seeds swallowed will germinate.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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M-Theory Accounts For Missing Persons

Scientists have discovered that many, perhaps as much as 80%, of all missing persons are actually proof that M-theory works, and multiple dimensions are all around us.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Mad Cows Strike Back

Bovines today have joined together in protest of the McDonald's Big Mac. The protest which lasted until a local slaughterhouse sent someone over, has opened the way for animal protests worldwide.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Wimpy Found With Two Broken Legs

Wimpy, the longtime freeloader friend of Popeye, was found in an alley with two broken legs this morning. It seems someone wasn't happy about getting paid on Thursday for a hamburger today.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Wanted: Lost Satchel of Money

If you or someone you know has found a large brown satchel containing 53 thousand dollars in $20 bills, please return it to me. I left it somewhere near your house yesterday afternoon.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Price for Gasoline Drops Below Bottled Water!

Tumbleweeds, Oklahoma, yesterday, reported that the price for a gallon of regular unleaded gasoline dropped below the price for a gallon of bottled water for the first time in history. Film at 11.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Peanut Butter For Brains Recalled

Recent salmonella scares in the United States have prompt many localities to require a total recall on people considered to have peanut butter for brains. The move is for the protection of everyone.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Dieting the Fast Weigh

In an unprecedented health breakthrough last week, top dietary experts discovered that fasting, the act of going without food or drink for days at a time, is a fail-proof method of weight loss.

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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Obama Replaces White House Kitchen Staff

Disappointed by their complete inability to produce "soul food," President Obama has terminated the entire White House kitchen staff today. "This country needs change," he said, "But I want chitlins!"

written by Illusnist, 22 January 2009
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