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Neil Horan to join Irish girl-group 'Bewitched'

Ex Priest and sane person Neil Horan of 'Puddledance' fame is to join 'Bewitched' on their latest come-back tour. He will be wearing the 'cape' an 'kilt' but teaming it with a denim outfit.

written by Khadija, 19 May 2009
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Gordon Brown to appear on front cover of Nutz magazine.

Gordon Brown the jobbing PM is set to boost his career, by appearing in skimpy clothes for Nutz magazine.
The shoot is to raise Gordon's profile among males aged 7-51 who think he is Su-Bo.

written by Khadija, 29 April 2009
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Piers Morgan is famous at last- he retires!

BGT has announced he will retire as he is now famous. His hold career has been a cry for attention, but now he has been seen by over 100 million people because of Su-Bo he will take up dominoes.

written by Khadija, 29 April 2009
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Simon Cow-bell to do 'something' about his face!

Simon Cow-bell money milking genius- is to do something about his face, which is just strange looking. He doesn't know what yet, but 'something' will be happening in the near future.

written by Khadija, 29 April 2009
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Swine flu still 'intimidating' Chris Moyles!

Pork-fat DJ Chris Moyles, is still in hiding from swine-flu. Friends say he has lost 40 stone in order to fool the pig's version of 'death'- but he sadly still looks fat and is fooling no-one.

written by Khadija, 29 April 2009
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Susan Boyle to re-record every song written or performed

Susan is to spend the next ten months re-recording stuff by the three tenors, Elvis Presley, Roy Orbinson, Frank Sinatra, the Beatles and Bing Crosby etc - which are now thought to be crap!

written by Khadija, 22 April 2009
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Susan Boyle is really Mickey Dolenz says Davy Jones

Pint-sized former teen popstar Davy Jones angrily outed Susan Boyle as Mickey Dolenz on the Larry King Show. Davy said "It's a stunt for Mickey's latest album- no-one believes me cos I'm short"

written by Khadija, 20 April 2009
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'Susan Boyle' is my former client 'Jade Goody' says Max

The silver stoat Max Cliffhord says he is entitled to 50% of Susan Boyle's fortune because she is really Jade Goody. "You never saw them together did you- there's the proof" said Max yesterday.

written by Khadija, 20 April 2009
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Susan Boyle is Eddie Large says Sid Little

'Supersonic' Sid claims Susan Boyle is his former partner Eddie Large who bullied him in the seventies. You can tell by the neck and good singing voice - are people blind and deaf?

written by Khadija, 20 April 2009
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