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On Eve of Royal Wedding Most Brits Admit Wanking off To Hendry Tudor
The British fetish for Henry Tudor seems to have survived mainly because he was a fat git and therefore in everyone's league. Click here for full story
Racist Demands An End To Thai-Cambodian Violence
"The fact that they're killing each other contradicts my superior theory that they all look alike. Clearly,they can tell the difference. We demand an end to this contradiction ASAP!"-Consummate Racist
US Relents, Offers To Throw Students In Jail
Tired of rants from the Indian MEA about human rights the US offered to remove the inhumane radio anklets from illegal immigrants posing as students,and throw them in a crowed jail full of gangbangers
Egyptian Tourist Reports Gathering of Thousands in Bangalore
Visiting Egyptian tourist reports "peaceful gathering of thousands" in Bangalore road, with people muttering against the government. Mayor asks him to, "Calm the fuck down,we call it a traffic jam".
Parents of Vocal Teen Fervently Wish He Was Moody And Secretive Instead
As 14 year-old Vick Jr. announced he was going on a masturbation strike at press conference, his parents released a statement wishing he'd been moody and secretive like other teens. Click here for full story.
14-year Old Boy Goes on Masturbation Strike
A 14-year old boy sick and tired of America's reluctance to adopt the metric-system, and Indonesia's crackdown on porn has decided to go on a masturbation strike. Click here for full story
Egypt Dictator Now Uses Facebook to Fight Protesters
In the latest update Hosni Mubarak has allegedly "friended" former Tunisian dictator Ben Ali on Facebook and the two have set up a page: "I hate protesters wanting Freedom and such-like". Related Story
Egypt Tour Operators "Edit" Brochure
Tour guides unable to cancel thousands of reservations have quietly amended the itinerary. The original 6 days/7 nights package now reads "6 days/7 nights and 1 riot". Click here for full story
Hosni Mubarak Pretends To Be Cool
82 year old Hosni Mubarak insisted he was still cool and jumped to bizarre conclusion the protesters in Cairo hated everyone the Egyptian except him. Click here for full story.
US Ambassador to India Denies Saying All US Consulate Staff in Pakistan Violent Thugs
US Ambassador to India, Timothy Roemer, denies alleging that all consulate staff in Pakistan are violent thugs busy shooting people. Click here for full story
US Ambassador to India Denies Hating US Ambassador to Pakistan
US Ambassador to India Timothy Roemer denies hating the guts of US Ambassador to Pakistan, Cameron Munter, despite the fact that the two haven't had any meaningful talks in years.
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"Protest Like An Egyptian" New Hit Single
Remix uncle riffs on The Bangles and releases track called 'Protest Like an Egyptian'.
Bollywood Actresses Assets Raided
Residences of Priyanka Chopra and Katrina Kaif were raided for disproportionate assets.Indian tax sleuths recovered over $1million and upto 18 autographs. Click here for full story.
Government Officers Mark Assassination of Diligent Officer... by Not Working
Maharashtra Gazetted Officers Federation has called for its members to "shun work" on January 27 to protest the murder of Additional district collector Yashwant Sonawane. Click for full story
Obama assures America rest of the world is more crappy
U.S. President Barack Obama asserted in his State of the Union speech that the US is still number 1. "We suck, but let me clear, they suck so much more."
Literate mob must replace illiterate mob: Indian Prez on R-Day
Indian President Pratibha Patil allegedly said "We must strive to replace the illiterate mob with a literate mob" in her Republic Day speech to the nation.
Click here for the full story.
US outsources Suicide Helpline for Unemployed Youth to India
In a shocking move a suicide helpline set up solely to deal with rising unemployment in the United States has been outsourced to India. Click here for full story.
Starbucks drops "Coffee" from logo to sell missiles
Global coffee giant Starbucks has dropped both its name and the word "coffee" from it's logo in a bid to gain a missile defence contract from the US government. Click here for full story
New iPhone app
Now,an iPhone app that tells how good-looking you are...er that shiny finish is called a mirror.It's not an app!
New Supercomputer Gets Religious
Latest supercomputer fast enough for 5 trillion calculations, but dumb enough to fall for organized religion invented in top secret US lab
Economics Nobel Goes To One Man in America Who Didn't Spend More Than He Had
This year's Nobel for Economics has been awarded to the one man in America who didn't spend more than he had.
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Delhi Commonwealth Games Almost Ready- India Rolls Out Yellow Carpet
Delhi Commonwealth Games almost ready. India rolls out yellow carpet as dying process incomplete.
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Avatar To Now Be Released in 1 Dimension
James Cameron set to Re-re-release Avatar in 1 Dimension.
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