Showing snippets written by IainB.

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Showing page 1 (of 22 pages)

Nigel Farage has children!

Further evidence of Nigel Farage's fascist leanings have come to light when it was revealed his children are called Zeke and Kyle.

written by IainB, 12 December 2014

Dara O'Brien comes clean

Dara O'Brien has admitted the reason his panel show insults the afflicted. "Everyone should have known," he said. "But because the titling company made a spelling error. It should be Mock the Weak."

written by IainB, 08 December 2014

Special Forces

Contrary to the popular myth, there are people who are not particularly special in the Special Forces.

written by IainB, 30 November 2014

Scalding epidemic

The Dyslexics Christmas Party fire walk caused massive scalding among entrants after the pool was filled with hot colas.

written by IainB, 27 November 2014

Oscar Pistoris Advent Calendar

Bargain Booze are now selling Oscar Pistoris Advent calendars - there's a shot behind every door.

written by IainB, 27 November 2014

Heston's latest creation

Heston Blumenthal has unveiled his latest creation: Primordial Soup. "It's fantastic," he said. "You start with the basic soup, and by the time you've finished, you could have anything in it!"

written by IainB, 05 November 2014

Tesco Bailout

After Tesco have revealed that they're in REALLY big trouble, and need a bail-out, another supermarket has stepped in to help them out. Well, every Lidl helps.

written by IainB, 01 November 2014

Ice Bucket Challenge Conspiracy

The Catholic Church has denied rumours that the Ice Bucket Challenge is a conspiracy to secretly baptise the entire world.

written by IainB, 29 August 2014

Restaurant needs weighty staff

Oppenheimer's Nuclear restaurant is looking for an overweight person as a new member of the serving staff. "We need a heavy waiter," said Robert, the owner.

written by IainB, 27 August 2014

Eastbourne Pier blaze

With the destruction of another iconic pier, this time in Eastbourne, it leaves the few remaining piers to carry the visitor weight. It's hoped they can cope with the pier pressure.

written by IainB, 31 July 2014

Brazil appeal to the UN

Brazil are to appeal to the UN claiming that Germany have hit them with a Kroos Missile.

written by IainB, 09 July 2014

Smart Phone Delay

Samsung have announced that there will be a delay in their next generation of smart phones thanks to a reduction in the amount of phone sex going on.

written by IainB, 19 June 2014

Adrian Chiles revelation

Adrian Chiles explains why he is so focused on cheating in football during his post match analysis. "It's cos my wife cheats on me," he said. Not really a surprise, if you think about it.

written by IainB, 16 June 2014

It's pronounced 'Jay' not 'Hhhhh'

Britain First have demanded that the Spanish pronunciation of Fajitas and JalapeƱos be changed to pronounce the 'J' correctly, even though it makes fajitas sound like a thrush cure.

written by IainB, 10 June 2014

Armstrong to play Dumbo.

Alexander Armstrong says that he is overjoyed that he has got the part of Dumbo in the Hammersmith Panto. "It's the ears," he said with a grin. "I don't need prosthetics."

written by IainB, 03 June 2014

Change of tack

People with aquaphobia have asked psychologists to stop using flood therapy. "It's just not appropriate," said a spokesperson for the WHO.

written by IainB, 03 June 2014

Sparks and Mensa new clothing

Sparks and Mensa's new clothing range, cardigans that are worn only on the back, called Bacadis, have been recalled when it was found having five of them makes the owner fall over.

written by IainB, 16 May 2014

Boko Haram asked to change their name

Terry Reid of Procol Harum has asked Nigerian terrorist group Boko Haram to change their name. "When it's said with a Nigerian accent," he said, "it sounds too much like the band and it's confusing."

written by IainB, 13 May 2014

Eurovision fix?

Conchita was always going to win Eurovision, they're biased towards transvestites; even their website was

written by IainB, 10 May 2014

Operation Yew Tree - latest arrests

Roger De Coursey and Matthew Corbett have been arrested as part of the celebrity sex offenders campaign, operation Yew Tree because they've been sticking their hands up bear arses.

written by IainB, 07 May 2014

Tom Daly refuses to dive

Tom Daly has refused to dive in the UK Championships in Workington, because it is a hard water area.

written by IainB, 07 May 2014

Flood therapy

A therapist in Brighton has ceased using flood therapy when one client with chrometophobia walked away a very rich man.

written by IainB, 07 May 2014

Sparks and Mensa's ironic clothes range

The latest addition to the Sparks and Mensa's Ironic Clothing range are their super skinny jeans, that start at size 22.

written by IainB, 28 April 2014

UKIP suggests Lenny Henry should live in a 'Black Country'

UKIP members have shown their racist colours by suggesting that British comic, Lenny Henry, should live in a black country. "I live in Dudley," said Henry. "So I already do live in the Black Country."

written by IainB, 27 April 2014
Showing page 1 (of 22 pages)

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