Showing breaking news satire snippets written by ScottThe Dot.

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Clay Aiken comes out as straight

"It's true!" gushed the former winner of American Idol. "My shoes don't even match my shirt!"

written by ScottThe Dot, 24 September 2008

Musharraff to resign

His cousin whoahtheresharaff is expected to take the reigns.

written by ScottThe Dot, 18 August 2008

Bush outrage at Georgia

'I hear all the fighting has stopped people getting the midnight train. It is unbecredible' said the former alcoholic.

written by ScottThe Dot, 16 August 2008

British Economy prescribed Prozac

Doctors hoping to cure the economy of its current depression have recommended Prozac as an effective course of treatment. Carole Caplin, former advisor to Tony Blair has asked for a more holistic approach to be considered, namely St Johns Wort and a beating with a gorse bush.

written by ScottThe Dot, 25 June 2008

Spirals spiral out of control

'There's nothing we can do about it' said James 'Spiral' McSpiral. "They are simply a geometric shape with no control mechanism whatsoever."

written by ScottThe Dot, 30 May 2008

Conjoined Twins fight One Laptop Per Child ruling

"We only have one pair of hands!" said twins Rosie and Rhina today after hearing that OLPC were refusing to budge on their strict One Laptop rule.

written by ScottThe Dot, 29 May 2008

Top Right corner of TheSpoof to be privatised

This space is about to be taken over in a new PFI initiative. You will still be able to see it but in 5 years we will send you a huge bill for the privilege.

written by ScottThe Dot, 21 May 2008

Ted Kennedy still 'not guilty' after seizure

"You'll never prove it!" shouted the former winner of the Chappaquidick Bad Driver of the Year Award.

written by ScottThe Dot, 18 May 2008
Rating: shops facing axe

Most shops were closed today displaying a notice saying 'Error 404 the shop you were looking for is not found.'

written by ScottThe Dot, 15 May 2008

Cherie Blair forgets contraceptive kit

Blair admitted to having not taken it to Balmoral, due to embarrassment. 'Carrying around a Paper bag with two holes in it is not something you do in front of the Queen.' she said.

written by ScottThe Dot, 12 May 2008

Rice Krispies to split up

The famous trio of Snap, Crackle and Pop are to go their separate ways according to their agent. The split is being put down to 'musical differences.'

written by ScottThe Dot, 12 May 2008

Times Square to be renamed Comic Sans Square

New York Mayor Elliot Screwzer today confirmed the name change to the iconic landmark. 'It just seems a bit know..more jokey', he said whilst paying £3000 an hour to some skank.

written by ScottThe Dot, 04 May 2008

McCain denies being rude to wife

"All I said was 'See you next Tuesday' and she went off on one. I never called her anything, the silly b**ch'

written by ScottThe Dot, 02 May 2008

British Army takes delivery of new AK46 rifles

'These will make all the difference in our fight against the insurgents in Iraq, Afghanistan and Cardiff.' said Major Smythe. 'These rifles can fire almost two bullets per hour in cold or wet conditions. Perfect for our desert campaigns.'

written by ScottThe Dot, 29 April 2008

Banks lose overdraft case

The UK's biggest banks today lost their battle to continue charging obscene amounts for doing f**k all. Graham Norton is nervously keeping up to date with developments.

written by ScottThe Dot, 25 April 2008

GTA IV 'not as good as the book' says bespectacled onanist

The scathing review of Grand Theft Auto IV was given just after Keith Oberman,33, had played it for about five minutes at his friends house. Apparently the lack of narrative subtext left him feeling empty. He then left to masturbate over pornography at his own house.

written by ScottThe Dot, 25 April 2008

Obama seeks change - Taxi Driver 'not have any singles'

'No fair..I no have change for twenty.' said the Washington cabbie 'He a cheapskate' continued the irate Chinese driver. Obama was reported to have been bitter.

written by ScottThe Dot, 24 April 2008

Danica Patrick wins race

Danica Patrick put her recent win down to doing her make-up before she got into the car and not having to park

written by ScottThe Dot, 21 April 2008

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