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Clay Aiken comes out as straight
"It's true!" gushed the former winner of American Idol. "My shoes don't even match my shirt!"
Musharraff to resign
His cousin whoahtheresharaff is expected to take the reigns.
Bush outrage at Georgia
'I hear all the fighting has stopped people getting the midnight train. It is unbecredible' said the former alcoholic.
British Economy prescribed Prozac
Doctors hoping to cure the economy of its current depression have recommended Prozac as an effective course of treatment. Carole Caplin, former advisor to Tony Blair has asked for a more holistic approach to be considered, namely St Johns Wort and a beating with a gorse bush.
Spirals spiral out of control
'There's nothing we can do about it' said James 'Spiral' McSpiral. "They are simply a geometric shape with no control mechanism whatsoever."
Conjoined Twins fight One Laptop Per Child ruling
"We only have one pair of hands!" said twins Rosie and Rhina today after hearing that OLPC were refusing to budge on their strict One Laptop rule.
Top Right corner of TheSpoof to be privatised
This space is about to be taken over in a new PFI initiative. You will still be able to see it but in 5 years we will send you a huge bill for the privilege.
Ted Kennedy still 'not guilty' after seizure
"You'll never prove it!" shouted the former winner of the Chappaquidick Bad Driver of the Year Award.
Currys.digital shops facing axe
Most shops were closed today displaying a notice saying 'Error 404 the shop you were looking for is not found.'
Cherie Blair forgets contraceptive kit
Blair admitted to having not taken it to Balmoral, due to embarrassment. 'Carrying around a Paper bag with two holes in it is not something you do in front of the Queen.' she said.
Rice Krispies to split up
The famous trio of Snap, Crackle and Pop are to go their separate ways according to their agent. The split is being put down to 'musical differences.'
Times Square to be renamed Comic Sans Square
New York Mayor Elliot Screwzer today confirmed the name change to the iconic landmark. 'It just seems a bit friendlier..you know..more jokey', he said whilst paying £3000 an hour to some skank.
McCain denies being rude to wife
"All I said was 'See you next Tuesday' and she went off on one. I never called her anything, the silly b**ch'
British Army takes delivery of new AK46 rifles
'These will make all the difference in our fight against the insurgents in Iraq, Afghanistan and Cardiff.' said Major Smythe. 'These rifles can fire almost two bullets per hour in cold or wet conditions. Perfect for our desert campaigns.'
Banks lose overdraft case
The UK's biggest banks today lost their battle to continue charging obscene amounts for doing f**k all. Graham Norton is nervously keeping up to date with developments.
GTA IV 'not as good as the book' says bespectacled onanist
The scathing review of Grand Theft Auto IV was given just after Keith Oberman,33, had played it for about five minutes at his friends house. Apparently the lack of narrative subtext left him feeling empty. He then left to masturbate over pornography at his own house.
Obama seeks change - Taxi Driver 'not have any singles'
'No fair..I no have change for twenty.' said the Washington cabbie 'He a cheapskate' continued the irate Chinese driver. Obama was reported to have been bitter.
Danica Patrick wins race
Danica Patrick put her recent win down to doing her make-up before she got into the car and not having to park
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