Showing snippets written by PP Rega.
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Kentucky: Brother-Sister: Man-Wife
Kentuckians have voted to legalize the marriage between a brother and sister. However, the amendment to legalize a marriage between a human and a four-legged animal was narrowly defeated.
Jesus' Wife's Name Discovered
A new Coptic papyrus has just been unearthed naming Jeus' wife. It's Priscilla.
Nuts For The Nuts
LOS ANGELES, Aug. 19 (UPI) -- "Eating 2.6 ounces of walnuts a day -- about two handfuls of walnuts -- may provide men the added boost they need to improve fertility, U.S. researchers say....."
Needle Found in Airline Sandwich
An Air Krash passenger found a sewing needle in a catered sandwich on a flight from London to Toronto.
A $5.00 surcharge was added to the passenger's bill for the extra iron in her diet.
Blind Archer Wins Gold
An Olympic archer who is legally blind captured the Gold Medal in archery. Services for the judge and two spectators will be held tomorrow.
The Hedonist Society is promulgating StomaSex for those who need to get a little extra on the side.
Syria Warns....Real Loud!
The Syrian government issued a stern warning after weeks of protests turned especially deadly this week. It will also be very loud since most listeners are either in ICU or the cemetery.
The world's first tissue-engineered urethras, grown in the lab using patients' own cells, have been hailed a success by some medical experts.
Other experts are enviously mumbling, "Piss off!"
Question: What is a No-Fly Zone?
Answer: A place where only women hang out.
Hubby Kills Mate's Doctor
Ivan Alai fatally shot Dr. Mai-Cun Thirts in the head after the famous transplant specialist successfully implanted an donor voicebox into Mrs. Yuan Alai, Ivan's wife.
Michael Moore Cures Gulf Goo
Movie-maker, Michael Moore, has aimed his biggest crap at the Gulf Goo leak and has successfully plugged it.
Tiger speaks out at news conference....
"I'm sorry to one and all. It was just a matter of using my putter on too many holes."
Oprah was under consideration to be next Senator from Illinois
Embattled Gov. Blagojevich considered Oprah for President Obama's Senate seat until he discovered it wasn't wide enough.
A train seat in the Loop: $2.00
A Cubbie seat at Wrigley Field: $40.00
An alderman seat in the city of Chicago: $12, 500
A Senator seat from Illinois: Priceless!
Peter Pan & The Somali Pirates
Peter Pan has advised the U.N. that the only way to chase away the Somali pirates is to stock the Indian Ocean with tons of ticking crocodiles.
Happy Birthday, VP-elect Biden!
Today is Vice-President-elect Joe Biden's birthday. He's 66. President-elect Obama gave him 2 presents: a leash and a muzzle.
Killer whales give up American citizenship
The seven Puget Sound whales who were missing and feared dead have been discovered in Tokyo Bay. They couldn't decide for whom to vote in the upcoming election and chose to become Japanese citizens.
Biden knocks Palin's "maverick" credentials
Joe Biden to Sarah Palin: Governor, I knew Bret and Governor, I worked with Bart. Governor, Bret and Bart were friends of mine. Governor, you're no Maverick.
Il not ill?
A North Korean official said that Kim Jong Il isn't ill. He said "The comments were Il-l-timed, Il-l-considered, and were meant to do damage to our Il-l-ustrious & Il-l-uminating Leader."
Sarah Palin's Daughter & John Edwards?
Unmarried daughter of Alaska's governor is expecting a bundle of joy. John Edwards denies any wrong-doing, but is buying another Texas mansion for her and his former campaign manager.
John Edwards Whines
John Edwards was complaining that he, too, like Obama, is an "Agent of Change," as he removed the poo-poo diaper of his new baby and put on a clean one.
Why Bill Cried
At the DNC, Bill Clinton wasn't crying because of pride in Hillary's great speech. It was because John Edwards stole his date.
John Edwards at the Democratic Convention?
The Democratic National Convention was still going to have John Edwards come and give a rip-roaring speech this Monday. He regretfully declined. That's his night to take care of the baby.
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