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Update: Impending Death From Space

With only minutes to live, any female, (redheads preferred) desiring a final moment of comfort should contact the author of this breaking news immediately.

written by Pete Gentile, 12 April 2008
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Impending Death From Space

Scientist warn a rock, half the size of the moon, is hurling through space on a collision course with our planet. All life will vanish in minutes. You may be dead as you read this due to the length of time it takes the editorial staff to post breaking news.

written by Pete Gentile, 10 April 2008
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Charlton Heston Still Dead

Hollywood, California - Charlton Heston is still dead. No change in his status has been reported.

written by Pete Gentile, 09 April 2008
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