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Miranda Hart on the loose
Since growing to 36 feet and escaping armed guard Ms Hart has caused destruction in her hunt for a boyfriend,she was last seen climbing the Shard in London with Frankie Boyle in her hand.
Rudolph the red-faced reindeer
Team Santa claus today admitted that a laptop containing the naughty/nice list had been left in a taxi in east london,Rudloph had been seen at a strip club in the area at the time.
Subo Wikileaks storm
Wikileaks today announced that Susan Boyle is infact a failed clone of the late Judy Garland made using DNA from the soles of her ruby slippers.
Anne Widicome today revealed that her incontinence was the cause of her many slips during her Stricly Come Dancing time.
Sheridan pips Cardle to xmas no1
Tommy Sheridans cover of shaggys hit"it wasnt me"has beaten the x-factor winner to the xmas no1 spot,1million copies were sold yesterday,to his mother.
Poisoned rat mucus
Was recently discovered by leading scientists to be the only known substance on earth that pop band JLS have refused to endorse.
Tommy Sheridan to launch after-shave.
Sorry that should be"Sheridan to get lunch after shave".Inmates at HMPsorebut have demanded that the primate like ex-msp should not be allowed to ruin their award winning high grooming standards.
The Google loop
Boffins have discovered that typing "Googling Google"into the popular search engine Google,will result in your computer rebooting with a picture of Kenneth Williams as your permanent screensaver.
If you're just realising that you haven't seen much of B'Liar since he ran off, that's because since his switch to Catholicism, he is still in confessional. Priests are working round the clock to purge the ex PM's soul.
JJ Abrhams has confirmed the spoiler claiming that lost will end with all the characters realising they are just toys in a toy box. "This is what we had in mind all along," he claims.
Harry Potter and the Fluid of Lies
JK Rowling was last night in hiding, after it was revealed that her last 4 Potter novels had been identical, with only the charcters ages and "defence against the dark arts teachers" name being tippexed out and changed.
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