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Irishman Attempts to Circumnavigate the Globe
An Irishman drowned whilst attempting to walk around the world!
New Tribe discovered In Newcastle Wastelands!
A tribe of recently undiscovered people has been discovered in the wastelands of Newcastle Upon Tyne. The tribe, discovered by brave road sweepers who were sent to attempt to cleanse the vicinity, is believed to have been wiped out!
Bing Crosby was a Woman!
Bings Crosby's family claim he was really a woman called Veronica. Bongo, Congo and Mongo Crosby, Bings Hawaiian grandsons, claims that it was a well kept family secret. Now that the truth is out, Veronica can rest in peace" said Bongo. "God bless Auntie Veronica" said Wongo.
Giant Tortoise Charged with Mass Murder!
A giant tortoise in Bulgaria is to be tried for murder following the discovery of 11 bodies at its apartment. The dismembered corpses were said to be of young men. A neighbour said: "He was a very friendly tortoise, this is a real surprise".
Bears in Yellowstone Park Threaten Strike Action.
Bears in Yellowstone Park are to strike over new rules regarding longer working hours. A spokesman said "the bears feel that they deserve a better deal, shorter hours is the first point we would like to discuss."
Seven Dwarfs complain over Type-Casting
The Seven Dwarfs are to complain to the screen actors guild as they are unable to find alternative parts. Doc said: "It's so frustrating, nobody's interested. We have been type cast as seven dwarfs but we are serious actors who have so much more to give."
Snow to be Banned in Britain!
Snow is to be banned due to the fact that its colour could be deemed as rascist. British Authorities have decided that Britain is multi cultural and the weather should be too.
Polar Bear And Man Successfully Breed!
A man has successfully mated with a fully grown female polar bear. The eskimo is said to be overjoyed with his new born little man cub. The polar bear has asked for privacy from the press.
Long One Silver!
Long John Silver's preserved body has been discovered in a peat bog in Surrey, England. The pirate's body sports a massive 15" penis, hence his name, Long John. Historians are amazed at the size of his tattooed member. It reaches down to the knee of his good leg!
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