Spoof Snippets
Showing snippets written by JAB.
Show all snippets.
Fed's Bernanke comes out of the closet
In a brief statement from his office in Washington, Chairman of the Federal Reserve, Ben Bernanke, stated, "I affirm my commitment to Basel III -- let's just leave it at that"
Biden gives speech to rally support for gun control
In his speech the Vice President said, "there will be a moral price to pay for inaction." Neil Kinnock in 1988 said verbatim in his run against Margaret Thatcher.
"D'oh!" muttered a Biden spokesman.
Michigan boy finds finger piece in Arby's sandwich
A spokesman for Arby's apologized saying "That was supposed to be in the chopped salad"
Queen's Diamond Jubilee tour reaches Lancashire
Excerpt from her speech
"I read the news today oh boy
Four thousand holes in Blackburn, Lancashire
And though the holes were rather small
They had to count them all
I'd love to turn you on"
Man self-immolates near Breivik trial in Oslo
When you set fire to something you're an arsonist. If you set fire to yourself shouldn't you be called a arsenist
Tom Cruise in Playboy: 'When Katie Holmes walks into the room, I feel better'
Mainly cause his chin just comes up to her boobs
Jolie forks over $1M on chopper, lessons for beau Brad Pitt
I guess they won't be adopting for awhile
Dongman's ex Elin with Dingman
Elin Nordegren's romance with wealthy businessman Jamie Dingman continues to quietly heat up, while her ex Tiger 'Dongman' Woods' continues having trouble with his putter
Veteran Newark Airport security supervisor used dead man's ID for 20 years
Newark security supervisor Peter Abimbola "Bimbo" Olumuyia Oyewole, an illegal Nigerian national had posed as Jerry Thomas since 1992.
What was wrong with Bimbo ?
Obama admits he never heard of 'Fifty Shades' book, says he will ask wife
Some Commander-in-Chief! President Clinton knows fifty-one.
President Obama on the View talking about JP Morgan Chase
"…Jamie Dimon, the head of it, is one of the smartest bankers we got [sic]…"
Gots to be the Harvard education
Alan Titchmarsh's introduction to gardening
Garden expert Alan Titchmarsh describes why he has had a life-long passion for gardening and gives useful tips on how to get your garden blooming in no time.
It's called, WATER
French elite plan to relocate to London to avoid new tax regime
As they say, "If a frog had wings it would save a lot of wear and tear on its ass"
Biden: "Village People are the greatest band"
Obama: "My position on whether they should be in the Rocking Roll Hall of Fame is evolving"
Jamie Dimon admits JPMorgan was 'sloppy'
CEO Jamie Dimon said the $2 billion loss from risky trades had been "sloppy".
Earth to Jamie-- INCOMPETENT!!
President Obama's embraces same-sex marriage
The President said, "I was reading Charles Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species' in bed, when Michelle passed me the mixed nuts, it was then that I had a 'natural selection' moment and I evolved."
Naked unicyclist charged for distracting drivers
Police say a man arrested in a Southeast Texas city for riding his unicycle in the nude was distracting drivers and creating a hazard.
Something to do with his left turn signal.
Masseurs Association of America Upset
Members of the Masseurs Association are up in…er, they aren't happy with what's been going down…er, this Travolta story sucks
Rihanna sick after Met gala
A source says she became sick from, "excessive partying and not slowing down. She has been traveling nonstop and going wild."
"Don't even go there," said Chris Brown
Bill Clinton in Malibu
Barbra Streisand has invited Bill Clinton as a special guest for a benefit she's planning at her Malibu home, June 14.
No word on who's designing Bab's red dress
Travolta says he wasn't in LA on day of male massage 'grope'
The accuser's lawyer, Okorie Okorocha from Okefenokee said, "Okeydokey smokey, liar liar pants on fire see you in court."
Robertson blows save in 9th inning as Yankees lose
"I blew it tonight," said Robertson
Lawyer, Okorie Okorocha wants proof that John Travolta was not at the game.
Pippa Middleton is considering a move New York City
Middleton rejected Paris, after friend Romain Rabillard pointed a fake gun at photographers.
Try Nashville, permit holders can carry loaded firearms into bars and restaurants that serve alcohol.
John Travolta Hit with Second Sexual Battery Claim from another Masseur
Attorney, Okorie Okorocha, filed a complaint on behalf of John Doe No. 1, and then filed an amended complaint adding John Doe No. 2.
No word on the sick parents who would name their kids No.1 & No.2
Send To A Friend
Send this site to a friend!
Mailing List
Get Spoof News in your email inbox!