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Editor-in-chief buried alive
Today, editor-in-chief, Mark, was buried alive under the hundreds of awful snippets that writer 'tipsy' left for him on his return. 'tipsy' stated "if this goes live i'll eat my face"
The word 'bored' to be replaced.
Oxford english dictionary has declared that the word 'Bored' is to be replaced withthe word 'Peanut' in order to alleviate the boredom represented by the word.
the lette ' ' has been emoved fom this eport.
unfotunatly due to poblems with acism online, all appeaances of the lette ' ' have been deleted so acist comments become unecognisable.
Elixir of life discovered
The elixir of life has already been discovered. According to new research, the elixir was found, and has been used by Bruce Forsyth
SpoofDotCom Reveals sad truth
Today, webward newspaper of genius', thespoof revealed that the world is not actually real, according to the research of some dude somewhere.
Matrix lover detained
Today, Andy Dowley, fan of the matrix was arrested for stealing a gold spoon with a diamond handle, although he maintains there was no spoon.
England Shirt Logo to be changed.
The respected 'three lions' of the England shirt, is to be change to three tampons, to represent this bloody awful period.
New Planet Discovered
Scientists have named it after the United States President: Planet Twat
Cartoon World Shaken
Today the cartoon world was turned on its head as cartoonist Jim Davies (Famous for Garfield) revealed thet the industry has run out of frames to draw in. Character Jon stated 'the very ground we stand on will soon disapear', he then delivered a clever one liner and left.
New research reveals monobrows are normal.
Scientist at Oxford University, England, have revealed that the monobrow is something all humans are meant to have. They also confirmed that having ginger hair and being fat is normal too. The USA has already sent an airstrike, as have Russia.
Up and coming sport 'archery tennis' takes Mexico by storm.
Mexicans have developed a strict set of rules, and have been demonstrating worldwide. They are also looking for more demonstrators.
Ugly Betty to be cancelled
Hit TV series 'Ugly Betty' to be cancelled after survey revealed that 52% of males stated 'they WOULD do her'.
Celebrity illusionist, David Blaine was arrested today. After producing his driving licence for a routine road check, he then made it levitate then vanish. Having failed to demonstrate he has his licence, the police had no choice.
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